


Everybody Loves Vegeta, Too!

by TheBehemoth



Series: Everybody Loves Goku Series [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Paranormal, Public Sex, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Threesome - M/M/M, Wordcount: 100.000-150.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:21:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 132,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBehemoth/pseuds/TheBehemoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vegeta is having a hard time getting accustomed to dating and living with Goku. It doesn't help when King Vegeta sets a curse on him, and he must fulfill five of Goku's deepest desires. Balding, daddy issues, ghosts, and more silly. The fluffy sequel to "Everybody Loves Goku!" Goku/Vegeta yaoi and lemon. Uke Goku and uke Vegeta.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

Vegeta never believed he would become a fucking housewife.

In a lot of ways it was his fault. He moved in (voluntarily!) with Goku after the Chichi-ghost debacle a few months before. And by gods, the third-class broke him in ways that not even Bulma Briefs thought was possible during her life on Earth.

He broke Vegeta,  _every night_ , with his furtive glances across the dinner table. There was no longer a reason to be shy, to pretend their feelings weren't laid bare every night when Vegeta would take Goku in bed—but there he was, blushing and looking at Vegeta below barely-raised lashes. And instead of punching him upside the head or flinging ramen at him, which he would have happily done a few months ago, Vegeta could only snort and tenderly rub Goku's knee beneath the table. Even then there were many unspoken words between them. Goku feared Vegeta's wavering fidelity; even after all that happened between them, Vegeta had to assuage his Kakarot's fears.

Not once had Vegeta told Goku to his face he loved him. Passivity was cowardly behavior in his culture, but he just could not not  _not_ , not in a million years, say those three words from his lips. So in his frustration, he said it through actions.

Goku was a good enough cook, but always the one to be competitive, Vegeta took over all grocery shopping and cooking duties to one-up his partner.

Whenever served with an excellent meal and a string of insults (they went hand-in-hand in the Son house now), Goku could only grin dumbly and say, "Thanks, Vegeta!" It sent the Saiyan Prince into a rage, which he channeled into washing dishes.

Goku was shitty at getting laundry done before it turned into a mountain of mildew. So Vegeta took care of that too. "Whoa, thanks Vegeta!" Goku would say while pulling his white tank over his spiky hair. When Vegeta chastised Goku for throwing jeans into the dryer since "any civilized, sentient being knows that you leave denim out to dry," Goku just scratched his head in confusion and kissed Vegeta full on the lips to make his angry-face go away.

"Get up, you lazy brat," was how Vegeta greeted Goten every morning to wake him up in time for school. Of course, he never woke up on the first try, so Vegeta had to flip the mattress. Every. Goddamned. Morning.

He felt weakened. His and Goku's sparring matches were just as extraordinary as before, but Goku took up to whining about minor bruises and broken bones afterward. At first Vegeta was shocked at the display of bitch-assness, but after giving Goku the sixth back massage in a straight week, he realized he was being used. The next day, he mercilessly slapped his mate around as retribution, but he remembered Goku  _liked_  that kind of thing…and then he had to look into Goten's blank eyes hours later and avoid having to tell him dinner wasn't ready because he had just spent the last 3 hours fucking his father hard enough to send him to another dimension.

It was a cloudy afternoon when Vegeta sighed in defeat after failing to vacuum a stain from the living room rug. He ripped the plug from the wall, ripped off the 50s style apron that somehow found its way onto his person, and stomped into Goku's room.

The bedroom window was left open, and a soft torrent of rain spray splashed from the sill onto the edge of the bed. Goku lay spread-eagle on his blue bed sheets, which were religiously tucked under the mattress edge as if some bedroom Nazi made sure not an inch of linen peeped out. Obviously Vegeta's doing. He sat on the bed, admiring Goku's angular nose and jaw, and how the slow rise of his chest was chased by a low whistling noise from his nostrils. He always looked angelic when he slept.

Vegeta slid off his t-shirt and jeans, and straddled Goku's waist. Earth's savior shifted his hips and opened one eye. "Whatcha doin'?"

"You've slept long enough. I need to fuck."

Goku pushed himself up on his forearms. "But I'm so tired. We already did that this morning. And after lunch. And—"

Vegeta leaned down and kissed Goku deeply. Goku's breath hitched and he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

Vegeta traced Goku's lips with his right thumb, enjoying how soft the skin was. He pressed a bit harder until his thumb slid into his partner's mouth, rubbing the top of his tongue. Goku moaned and playfully licked the intrusion. Vegeta pushed his index and middle finger in as well until they were coated with saliva. With his free hand he yanked Goku's pants off and flung them to the floor.

"Vegeta," Goku breathed in a daze before pulling his head away to get his shirt over his head. The Prince ran his coarse hand up and down the inside of Goku's bare thighs, which quivered from the warm touch. Vegeta didn't waste any time finding the middle of Goku's legs, and he pressed on the furled bundle of muscle there. Goku arched his back off the bed.

"You don't seem too tired to me." Vegeta circled his fingers around the entrance, all gentle, teasing the skin and slipping in a digit to test the muscle's resistance. This elicited a moan from Goku, who lolled his head back so it fell onto the pillow.

He ran his free hand slowly across Goku's chest, feeling muscle tense and relax as he let his fingers leave ghost trails that prickled his partner's skin.  _You're always so responsive_ , Vegeta thought, wondering how a person can feel and react to everything, all of the time.

These moments were  _also_  when Goku broke him.

He pressed his fingers inside of Goku and thrust and twirled them until they sank comfortably to the hilt. There was enough slick to cause a moist slapping sound against their skin. Vegeta stared at how his fingers disappeared and were clutched by Goku, and he sighed.

"'geta?" Goku softly panted in time with Vegeta's invading fingers. "Can I ride you?"

The Prince felt heat rise to his cheeks. A joke had to be in there somewhere. However, all witticisms escaped him and he simply nodded and slid down onto the bed next to Goku. Goku rose above him, a dark shadow over his otherwise innocent features, and Vegeta basked in knowing he was one of the few people in existence who knew what his Kakarot's face looked like when he wanted to rut like a dog in heat. They never broke their gaze, and both inhaled deeply as he lowered himself onto Vegeta's member.

Goku bit his lower lip. He had to focus to accommodate for the intrusion, especially at this angle, but he soon sank down so both of their hips kissed. Goku's weight was making Vegeta feel a dizzy bliss.

"Ah, 'geta—mm, you feel really good." He rode Vegeta's hips, impaling himself with each descent. Vegeta couldn't say anything at all. The feeling overwhelmed every sense. He dug his fingers into Goku's hips and made him bounce harder against him.

They continued like this for a long time, until Vegeta couldn't stifle his own moans. Goku was riding him hard enough to smash the back of the bed against the wall at a steady rhythm. Vegeta gave up on controlling the man on top of him and just hung onto the backboard to ride out his orgasm.

"Vegeta…"

"Hnn."

"'Geta…"

"What is it?" Vegeta was sweating and  _so close_. Goku usually stopped his onslaught of blabbering during sex.

"Can I, um, you know?"

"What  _is_  it, Kakarot?"

"Can I go inside of you?"

Vegeta dropped his hands from the headboard. "You mean  _you_  want to screw  _me_?"

Even in the middle of sex Goku could pull up his dumb grin. "Yeah, I was thinking it would be pretty nice for once."

Vegeta shoved Goku off his hips and nearly onto the floor. He looked scandalized. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"HEY! You didn't have to do that!" Goku rubbed his ass. "It was just a question!"

"Dammit, Kakarot." Vegeta stood up and pulled his jeans back up. His hard-on strained against his zipper. "I cook and I clean for you. Can you at least leave me whatever last bit of manhood I have left for the bedroom?"

Goku stuck out his bottom lip, looking pathetic. "It isn't fair if I can't do to you what you do to me! I'm curious too, you know!"

Tension built up from behind Vegeta's eyes. It was almost  _always_  a Son that caused this feeling. He pressed a thumb and index finger against his forehead to keep the pressure at bay. "Kakarot, I know we've never talked about this before, but in Saiyan tradition it's normal for one person to be the dominant one and the other the submissive. As the Prince of Planet Vegeta, it's only the natural order of things that I be the dominant one. Case  _closed_."

Goku muttered something under his breath.

Vegeta whipped his head around, fuming. "What did you just say?!"

'"Nothin'."

Vegeta growled, and pushed Goku back down into the bed. "Say it to my face, clown!"

"I  _just_  said, 'There isn't a Planet Vegeta anymore so you really aren't a  _prince_  anymore.'" He shrugged his shoulders under Vegeta's weight, his own temper building.

"How—how  _dare_ you! Whether or not Planet Vegeta exists is irrelevant; I am still a prince and you my last surviving servant!"

"If you're going to pretend like Saiyan ritual means anything, then what are you doing with a third-class?!" Goku's bark was nasty, and he knew as soon as the words left his mouth that Vegeta would go off the deep end.

"Did you ever think for a second that I would still be fucking you if anyone else from my planet was still around?" Vegeta spat. "I fucked Raditz at any chance I got when he still alive!"

Goku's face darkened as he pulled away from Vegeta's vice grip. He rolled over on his side so his face was hidden. "I've asked you before if you ever had sex with a man, and you said no."

A familiar rage boiled beneath the surface of Vegeta's skin; it was the same rage he felt so many years ago when he hated Goku with every ounce of his being. The anger was like an old muscle in use after years: sore but familiar. He couldn't stop himself.

"It wouldn't have helped with you knowing! And—and your brother was a better lay than you could ever be!" With that, Vegeta pulled his shirt and boots on without looking Goku in the eye, and fled from the room.

He punched the door open and was met with the unfortunate sight of Goten pretending like he hadn't heard anything. The younger Son was shoving a huge meatball sub down his gullet, and looked as if he were about to choke from the death glare Vegeta shot in his direction.

"Shut-up," Vegeta said. He pulled his leather jacket off the coat rack by the front door. Mindlessly he ran his fingers across the small table next to the rack, found a small moleskin notebook, and stuffed it into his pocket. A second later he was gone.

* * *

Goku moped in bed for ten minutes before turning to the trusted confines of the refrigerator for comfort. For each scoop of chocolate ice cream shoved into his mouth, the more his anger abided. It was promptly replaced with annoyance.  _What a jerkface,_  Goku thought,  _I can't believe he had sex with my brother!_

Raditz was a real dick, too.

A nightmare crept into his mind.  _Maybe Vegeta only likes me because I look close enough to Raditz_? The thought made him finish the gallon of Blue Bunny five seconds later.

Goten walked through the kitchen and grabbed the three jumbo bags of ranch potato chips sitting on the counter. "Hey Dad, what's up?"

"Vegeta's being dumb!" Goku picked up the remote and turned on the TV. He never bothered with the device unless he was with friends or watching the Saturday morning cartoon block.

"Oh. Um, that sucks." Goten scratched the back of his head. He still had no idea why Vegeta was living with his dad, or why the two seemed to be a lot more emotionally sensitive than before. It bothered him for a few days, but when Vegeta took over kitchen duties, he forgot about his confusion and just basked in the afterglow of a nightly post-dinner ecstasy. The man could cook.

"…And that's why I'm not feeling too great." Goku finished telling a story Goten didn't even know he started.

"Uh…Yeah. Sorry about that, Dad."

Goku stared into his son's eyes. He squinted. "Why are your eyes all red?" He could see the fresh wave of paranoia wash over Goten's face. "Have you been crying?"

"Of course not!" He pawed at his bag of chips, looking suspicious. "Just hanging out with Trunks in the basement and…yeah."

Goku raised a brow. "I didn't know Trunks was over. What are you up to?"

Goten struggled to say a coherent sentence. Goku was further weirded out and just walked to the basement door to chat with Trunks himself.

The second he opened the door, a billowing cloud of smoke escaped and curled around Goku's body like a serpent. "Whoa!"

"Dad, don't!" Goten whined behind him. Goku ignored him and walked down the wooden stairs, each slat groaning under the weight of his feet.

"Hi, Goku!" Trunks waved at him from the plush couch at the basement bottom. He was dressed to a T as always. His hair was grown out to a long ponytail, and he wore a heavy leather sports jacket and shiny loafers. Goku remembered Bulma telling him how Trunks travelled the world attending "business internships," but even Goku was smart enough to know Trunks was simply globetrotting to make use of his family's fortune.

 _How does Goten get along with someone so spoiled?_ Goku then smacked his forehead, remembering who he dealt with on a daily basis. He paused afterward to wrinkle his nose. "Why does it smell like pinecones down here?"

Trunks held up a short pipe filled with a green leafy substance unfamiliar to Goku. "We were just smoking. I hope it doesn't bother you too much!" He dropped his head and stared holes into his loafers. "Mom would have a fit if I smoked at Capsule Corp…"

"Ooh, smoking? Isn't that supposed to be bad for you?" Goku knew Bulma complained about it before finally quitting a few years back.

"You're thinking of cigarettes. We're smoking Mary-Jane."

Goku tilted his head. "Who's Mary-Jane?"

"You know," Trunks opened his palms toward Goku in emphasis, "Weed."

"Weeds? Like in a garden?"

"Marijuana!"

"I don't know who Mary is!"

Trunks threw his hands up in defeat. "Just hit this." He pushed the pipe beneath Goku's nose; Goku reflexively pulled away from the strange-smelling plant.

"Why would I hit this thing? Did it do something wrong?"

Trunks held the pipe between his fingers so his thumb rested over the open hole in its side. With his opposite hand he pressed a lighter against the plant inside of the pipe's bowl. "Just suck on this and you will understand everything," he said.

* * *

_Shit. I am a jackass._

The peaceful rain spatter in the past hour turned into an unrelenting torrent. Vegeta found refuge under the branches of a large tree with weeping branches miles away from home. A frown set itself deep in his face as he scribbled in his moleskin pad. Not even Goku knew what he wrote in the thing, and even with his recent dickish behavior that probably wouldn't change. He chewed on the end of his pen and slipped the pad into his back pants pocket.

He never intended on Goku finding out about Raditz…They were fuck buddies standing on the edge of the universe watching Frieza capture every planet in his wake. They were space pirates with no real home. Raditz was good enough when he thought raiding planets was all he could ever have.

But Goku was  _different._ And precious.

Why did he ask from Vegeta what he could never give? What would be left of him then, if he let Goku penetrate him? It made him sick, because to be submissive brought up distant memories of Planet Vegeta and his father. His father, who'd rather let his people suffer under the rule of a lizard instead of dying with their pride intact. His father, who died because he waited too late and was too weak…if the last surviving member of the royal family couldn't hold onto the pride the king never had, there would be nothing left.

And no matter how much Goku loved him and how much  _he_  cared about the third-class, he couldn't let him be the strongest in the universe  _and_ the dominant one in the relationship. Without pride, Vegeta believed he would cease to exist.

He rolled his neck around until it popped. What the hell was he supposed to do with all of these emotions anyway?! It was like a giant, angry block was sitting in his path, and no matter how much he pummeled it or screamed at it, it would still sit there as if gloating from lack of affectation. How could he even  _begin_ to make Goku understand without making him feel like shit again?

A soft  _blip!_ emitted from his jacket pocket. The familiar sound made Vegeta's stomach drop. He checked his phone.

**Kakarot has just sent you a text message!**

_Shit!_ He opened the text:

**I hope u r proud of urself b/c I am so angry that I cn't even figure out how 2 turn on this new electric kettle u got and now I cn't eat anyting1!1**

Goku's grammar went to shit whenever he sent angry text messages. He could already see the idiot's fingers bumbling on his phone's keypad. Vegeta started to reply, gave up, and just slipped the phone back into his pocket. He reached for his breast pocket and pulled out a cigarette instead. Goku had no idea he smoked. Hell, he didn't even do it often enough to warrant buying more than a few packs a month, but it was a part of his identity he felt would clash with Goku's "poster boy for humanity" image.

While taking a drag he glanced through the branches of the tree, which were swollen with rainwater that dribbled down onto his shoulders. Far into the distance, maybe a mile west, he saw a faint flash. Normally he was indifferent to strange phenomena (it usually found him in the form of an alien monster later), but he had to kill some time before going back home.

The weather worsened the farther he walked, which irritated him once the ground was soft enough to suck his soles down into the earth. Soon he approached a clearing; a strange arrangement of stone pillars surrounded a pit burrowed into the ground. Otherwise, it looked innocuous.

" **Prince Vegeta. Come to me."**

The Prince widened his eyes until they were as huge as saucers.  _That voice. I haven't heard it since…_

A cloudy apparition rose from the pit. A burly, human silhouette materialized in the cloud until it hovered above Vegeta like an animal about the pounce. Glowing yellow eyes stared down at him, and Vegeta fell to his knees.

"Father?"

The last living King of Planet Vegeta was before him, visage hazy in the rain. In the past Vegeta had hallucinations of his father, and sometimes visions near the brink of death. But never had his experience been this visceral. The scent of starched linens invaded Vegeta's nostrils, and he remembered what his father's cape smelled like when he used to bury his face in it to hide as a child.

" **Do not look so frightened,"** King Vegeta said, twitching his moustache.  **"I would not drag myself from the land of the dead just to scare you."**

Vegeta clenched his fists. "I was never afraid of you!"

" **I'm sure that isn't the case. Do you remember the time you hid under your bed when I put on that mask, and I took it off telling you I was just joking but you cried for an hour anyway?"**

"I don't remember that happening. Ever," Vegeta said.

" **Your selective memory makes you a coward. You're even hiding from your mate now."**

"He isn't a real mate! He doesn't know—"

" **Doesn't know the true mating ritual? I'm sure that's the case because you never told him."**

Vegeta gazed up at the apparition. He ground his teeth together in rage. "You have no right to talk about Kakarot and me, or how I live up to ritual. You rolled over to Frieza until it was too late, while I proudly lived for the Saiyan race beyond your death!" The caked mud on his knees sucked him deeper into the ground as he struggled to stand.

" **Kakarot is just as much a savior—a** _ **prince,**_ **even** _ **—**_ **for humanity as he is for our race."** King Vegeta stretched his hand out toward his son and pressed it against his heart.  **"You go on about your history, but you purposely keep one piece of it hidden to protect your pride. You know that Kakarot in reality is the dominant—"**

Regressing back to ten years old, Vegeta stuck his fingers into his ears. "LALA, I'M NOT LISTENING TO THIS DRIVEL!"

" **If you do not change, your pride is going to destroy you—"**

Vegeta turned his back on his father. He drove his fingers deeper into his ear canals. "I don't hear anything right now, so I'm going home!"

" **If you ignore me, you will regret it!"**

"I'm walking away for real now, so stop talking!"

" **You're a stubborn jackass!"**

"I get it from my father!"

" **Your brother Tarble, bless his soul, may have been a bit slow but at least he wasn't an annoying little prick like you!"**

"Tarble didn't even mate with a Saiyan. I don't know if his wife even has genitalia!"

" **I thought you couldn't hear me!"**

"Shut-up!"

" **No, you!"** King Vegeta released an exasperated sigh as his son stomped away. He rubbed the space between his eyes, and stopped once he saw his son doing the same.  **"If you don't stop and listen to me, you** _ **will**_ **regret it in the morning!"**

Vegeta flipped his father the bird and kept along his merry way.  _Wretched fool, coming back from the dead to berate me on my goddamned sex life!_

" **Very well."**  King Vegeta stretched his arm, but this time to point his index finger in accusation at his son's retreating back.  **"I will take away your pride until you prove to me, just one time, that you deserve it!"**

The Prince of all Saiyans was far enough away to genuinely not hear a word his father had to say.

" **You come back here and listen to me, or I will make this curse twice as awful!"**

Vegeta kept walking.

" **I swear if you don't stop, I will make it three times as awful. Maybe even four times!"**

Vegeta disappeared into a forest nearby.

" **Then so be it, Prince Vegeta. You will have to prove yourself worthy of your lineage…five times!"** A bright white light jet forth from his outstretched hand and bolted into the forest to follow his son. King Vegeta disappeared. The rain was almost loud enough to muffle Vegeta's gasp of pain and string of curses.

* * *

It wasn't until well past 1AM when Vegeta returned home. He kicked off his dirty boots and tossed his wet jacket onto the couch, making a mental note to clean up the mess later. He passed through the living room, but frowned when he saw Goku sitting in front of a TV playing nothing but snow and blaring white noise.

"Kakarot, what the  _hell_  are you doing?"

" _Ssshh._ " Goku held a finger up to his mouth without tearing his eyes away from the television. "Do you hear that?"

Vegeta looked around the house incredulously. "No. What are you blathering about?"

"If you listen long enough, you start to hear voices." Goku smiled slowly. "I think they're trying to tell us…about another world. Like, an alien one. Isn't that far out?"

"Kakarot, to the idiots on this ball of dirt,  _you_  are the alien."

Goku was taken back. "Oh, yeah! I forgot."

Vegeta sighed and grabbed his hand. "Come to bed. I'm…I'm so—I hope I didn't upset you too much earlier." He avoided Goku's large, obsidian eyes.

"Huh? Oh, I forgot about that once I started talking to Goten and Trunks about aliens." Goku screwed up his face. "But now that you're back I am kinda angry again."

Vegeta turned off the TV and pulled the larger Saiyan down the hall to the bedroom. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you."


	2. Part Two

When Vegeta awoke the next morning, he knew something was wrong. The birds were screaming their heads off outside the window, so the storm must have cleared up in the early dawn. He reached forward to pull Goku's body closer to him, but the other side of the mattress was vacant.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced to his left. Goku stood at the entrance of the bedroom, face white as a ghost.

"What's your deal?" he growled. He stretched like a cat under the bed sheets and pulled himself up.  _I'm not going look like a slouch in front of Kakarot._

For some reason he felt really cold.

"Uh-oh," Goku said.

"Uh-oh what?" Vegeta ran his fingers through his hair and—

_Huh?…What…_

He tried to do it again.

"What the…what the fuck?" He felt faint. "What the fuck?" he said again, as if his profanity would ease his confusion. "What the fucking fuck?"

"Listen, Vegeta." Goku held up his hands, looking like someone surrendering to the police and free of any drug possession. "I need you to calm down. Okay?" He was also sweating profusely.

Vegeta ran to the chest of drawers in corner of the room and stared in the mirror.

All of his hair was gone.

"Kaka—kaka—"

"I don't know what happened last night, but I swear it wasn't my fault!" Goku cried. "Your hair, it was all over the pillow, and—"

Vegeta looked over at the bed. All of his beautiful Saiyan locks were on the bed sheets, pillows, and floor just chilling as if they had business being there. Every single…last hair follicle…

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Vegeta clawed at his scalp. His velvety, spiky locks, his pride, his manhood, his beauty, every single inch of it was gone! His head was more hairless than a starlet's crotch on the night of a red carpet event.

 _How the FUCK did this happen?!_ "Kakarot, a Saiyan dies with the same amount of hair on his head at the day he was born! This is an impossibility!"

Goku ran toward the bed and rummaged through his nightstand drawer. "Vegeta it's okay, I know how to fix this!" He pulled out a Sharpie and stood in front of Vegeta to save his eyes from the further onslaught of viewing his bald-egg head. He drew something on the Prince's forehead.

"Okay, look at it now!" Goku said with an innocent smile. Vegeta pushed him aside to get another glimpse of himself in the mirror.

"YOU FUCKING MORON!" Vegeta's face glowed red as a bright tomato. Goku had drawn two rows of six dots right where his widow's peak used to be.

"See, now you look like Krillen. Problem solved!"

"WHY WOULD I WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR WEAK, IDIOTIC, SHORT, BALD FRIEND?" Vegeta spat on his hand and tried to rub the six marks off his head.

Goku put his hand behind his head. "I'm sorry Vegeta, but I don't know what else I can do!"

Vegeta started to hyperventilate. He clutched both hands on the side of the chest of drawers until the oak finish split beneath his white knuckles. "I think I'm going faint."

"Don't be silly, Vegeta. It really isn't that serious— _oh_!" Vegeta collapsed onto the floor in a pathetic puddle of Saiyan.

"Oooh, what do I do now?" Goku flailed his arms around helplessly. He rummaged inside his gi pants until he found his phone. He dialed a number, and screamed into the headset the moment someone picked up on the opposite end.

"Good morning Goku! What's up?"

"Vegeta just fainted!" Goku picked the Prince up from the floor and flung him over the shoulder.

"Whoa. Did you guys train each other to death or something?" Bulma was aware of their relationship, and wanted to offer Goku any sort of emotional support when dealing with her ex. Half the time he was a pompous jerk, which was his tolerable side. During the other half he was usually freaking out about something most other people didn't care about too much.

"He lost all of his hair. It just fell out while we were sleeping." Goku carried Vegeta through the living room, and saw Goten and Trunks sleeping on top of each other on the couch…Which was strange, since they had a huge guest loft setup downstairs. Goku shrugged it off for now, and walked outside onto the crisp lawn. It really was beautiful outside, a perfect day to train and maybe rummage around the beach for a few hours. Maybe Vegeta would be up for it later.

"What do you mean 'lost it'? Like, it just  _fell out_?"

"Yeah. Do you think you can do anything to make it grow back?"

Bulma snorted. "For centuries men have searched for the cure for hair loss. Surprisingly in this day and age of personal space ships and time travel, I don't have too much that can help him beyond surgery." She sighed over the line. "And there's no way I could give Vegeta hair like he had before."

Goku was crestfallen. All his life Bulma was the brains behind the Z-fighters, building technical contraptions that set her in the same vein of scientific giants like Einstein and Hawking. But now she was just giving up!

"Come on, Bulma," Goku whined. He began to pout and use his puppy-dog eyes despite the fact she was miles away at Capsule Corp.

She  _tsked_. "Okay, give me some time and I'll see what I can do. I can run some tests if you send him on over here later today."

"Thanks so much, Bulma!" Goku hung up and looked at his pathetic partner, who was still passed out. He walked back into the living room with him still slung over his shoulder, and shook Goten's limp body on the couch.

"Mmm?" Goten arose off Trunks slowly. "Oh, weird, I don't remember coming up here. Hey, Trunks." He shook his friend under him until he roused from his own slumber.

Trunks looked up into Goten's face, smiled…then looked further up at Goku's curious expression. "Ah, Goku!" He pushed Goten off his lap and straightened his clothes.

Goku would have to question his son and "friend" later. "Do either of you have a hat? Vegeta lost all of his hair in the middle of the night and fainted in shock."

"Oh, shit, Dad!" Trunks said, staring at his father's shiny bald head. His hand hesitated for a quick second, but he found the bravery to rub his father's head like a magic lamp. "Hehe."

"I have a hat!" Goten said cheerfully. He scrambled away from the couch and ran to his room on the opposite side of the house.

 _GuuurRRP._ Goku's stomach rumbled loudly. He clenched his abs with his Vegeta-free hand. "I'm starving! I'm going to go grocery shopping with Vegeta and see if that will make him feel any better."

Goten bounced back into the living room holding a knit hat. "I think he'd look pretty cool in this one."

"Thanks." Goku shoved the cap down onto Vegeta's head. He already looked a lot less offensive…Cute, even! "Alright, see you two later?" Goku gave Trunks a sideway glance. Trunks just shyly looked off into another corner.  _I guess I can leave these two alone without them getting into trouble._

Goten and Trunks waved goodbye as Goku blasted off from the front lawn into the clear skies.

* * *

Vegeta woke up as they landed in the parking lot of a supermarket miles west from the Son home. Right in the middle of the city. Which Goku only tolerated because the city had lots and lots of food. Goku slowly set the tiny-framed Vegeta down on the lot asphalt. "You doing okay, buddy?"

Instinctively, Vegeta reached for his head. "What did you put on me? Are these cat ears?"

" _Nyaan_ , I think it looks cute, Vegeta!" Vegeta was wearing Goten's black cat cap with pointy kitty ears. The hat even had giant green kitty eyes knitted on the front.

Goku reached out and pulled on one of the ears affectionately. Vegeta slapped his hand away. "I'm not your fucking kitten!"

"Don't worry Vegeta, this is just temporary. I called Bulma and she said I can take you over to Capsule Corp to see if we can fix this later." Goku pulled on Vegeta's arm and walked toward the grocery basket stall next to the supermarket's entrance. "Just chill out. We can distract ourselves with food!"

"You  _would_  make us do something  _you_  liked to make  _me_ feel better," Vegeta growled under his breath. He felt like a child as he followed Goku through the sliding entrance doors.

 **ALERT! ALERT! STOLEN MERCHANDISE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM THE PREMISES!** Alarm bells screamed as Vegeta cross the threshold into the store. Everyone within a 50 foot radius took their attention away from their shopping carts and screaming kids to stare at Vegeta.

"Oh, gods." Vegeta pulled his cat hat down low enough to cover his eyes.  _This is so shameful_ , he thought.  _I look like I just walked out of a godsdammed anime convention!_

"Hold it right thurr, buddy!" A security cop strolled over to the confused couple. He was rotund and held his hand cocked at his side as if he had a loaded gun. All he was packing was a silver whistle and a pair of keys on his pant hip. The sirens continued to scream in the background as he poked Vegeta in the side. "Can I see the receipt for your goods?"

Vegeta pulled away from the probing finger. "We just walked into the damn store!"

"Yeah, mister, we just walked in," Goku said.

"Then why is the alarm going off, huh? Can you explain yourself out of  _that_  pickle, partner?" The cop poked Vegeta's ribs again.

Vegeta blushed. "I don't know why your shitty security system has failed, but if you touch me one more time I will bite your finger clean off and shove it so far up your ass you'll be using it as a tongue!" Fuming, Vegeta stalked away.

Goku laughed nervously. "Sorry, sir. We really did just walk in." He raced after Vegeta down a food aisle.

Vegeta silently loaded up their basket with various goods without saying a word.  _This isn't working out as well as I planned_ , Goku thought. He pulled down a huge box of Frosted Flakes, turned around, and saw a young woman staring at his backside.

"Oh my!" She said, blushing.

Goku blinked. "Hi?"

The woman continued to stare, this time up and down Goku's body. Her mouth was gaping open. Speechless.

"Can I help you with something?" Goku  _hated_  this part about going into the city! People would always look at him funny, usually women, like he was some kind of freak of nature. He could never figure out what was so interesting about him, and some days felt rude enough to just tell them to go away.  _That wouldn't be very nice, though_.

"What are you looking at, woman?" Vegeta screeched from a few feet away. He saw the lady leering at his man, and looked as if he was ready to twist her arm off.

She ignored Vegeta. "I was just admiring your, um, pants." The woman took the opportunity to gaze at Goku's nether regions. "Yeah, I'd totally hit that. Mm-hmm."

"Excuse me?" Goku said.

"Did I say that out loud?" The woman covered her mouth. "Sorry! I just really, really…like your pants."

Goku's face brightened. "Oh, um, thanks! They're not that special, though."

"They're  _quite_ spectacular." She looked as if she could jump Goku right in front of the stack of Froot Loops to their side.

"Beat it, tramp." Vegeta hooked his arm with Goku's and stuck his tongue out at her. "He's not interested." Before the woman could retort with anything, Vegeta dragged Goku around the corner to the next aisle.

To his chagrin, a whole flock of peeping women were just around the corner, nearly climbing over themselves to catch a glimpse of Goku.

Goku blushed and waved. "Hello."

"Hi!" All of the women said in unison. The age group ranged from high-school girls to the elderly. A pudgy grandmother tried to peer between the legs of the women in front of her, her old lady purse jingling with the sound of loose change as her hand shook in excitement.

"I can't believe this!" Vegeta said.  _This literally happens everywhere we go. Women slobbering all over Kakarot. Not today._ Vegeta walked up to the leader of the pack, a hot 20-something whose blouse buttons had miraculously opened to reveal her lacy bra. "He's taken, harpies!"

"By whom?" asked a hipster girl who was twirling her long hair around her finger, basking in the hotness that was Son Goku.

"By  _me._ "

All of the women pried their eyes away from Goku long enough to give Vegeta a once-over. "Are you his kid cousin or something?" a woman asked.

"I'M NOT A CHILD!" Vegeta screamed, baring his fangs.

"It's okay, Vegeta." Goku rubbed the Saiyan Prince's shoulders. "They usually go away when I go through checkout."

"No. I'm tired of this shit!" He pulled Goku toward his chest and kissed him deeply. Goku blushed at seeing all of the women gape at them.

He gently pushed Vegeta away. "Not in front of them, 'geta!"

He ignored him, and pulled Goku's head down to smash his lips into his face. He pushed his tongue down the taller man's throat, who moaned in response. Vegeta ripped his face away from Goku, and stared in defiance at the women. "Do you all get it yet?"

One woman pulled a church fan out of her purse and waved it under her neck. "That's actually kinda hot, sir."

"Yea, we like it," said the hipster girl. All of the women murmured and nodded in agreement.

 _You've got to be fucking kidding me!_ "Am I going to have to fuck him right in front of you before you catch a hint and go away?"

"Yeah, do it!" yelled a faceless woman from the back.

Goku was as red as a beet now. "Vegeta, what are you doing, we're in public!"

"Shut-up, Kakarot." His wounded pride was, metaphorically, throbbing and bleeding in his mind. How did he lose so much control in his life and over those around him? He bent Goku over the shopping basket, and rubbed his ass through his orange gi.

"Vegeta!" Goku bit his lip at the sensation, and felt at least a dozen eyes burning into his rear end.

He heard the familiar sound of Vegeta unzipping his jeans. He pulled his hard member out from the barriers of underwear and denim, and stroked it slowly so that his slick coated him from root to tip.

Goku looked over his shoulder. "We can't do this here, Vegeta!"

"Hush." He pulled Goku's pants down just beneath his smooth buttocks and pushed a knee between his legs. He spread Goku gently open and probed at his entrance to get it moist.

Goku could only blush and groan helplessly at the women gaping at them in the aisle. None of them were running to tattle on them to security, and they formed a protective enough circle around the grocery cart to keep any innocent bystanders from glancing down the aisle to see him about to get pounded.

Finally, Vegeta pushed himself in slowly. He bent Goku further over and admired his ass. "Fuck, Kakarot," he breathed while rubbing the strong muscles of his backside. Soon he was pumping into Goku, and he grunted softly after each time their skin made contact.

"Hnn," Goku moaned as the Prince angled himself so that he hit that sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him. He panted and clenched his eyes shut. Vegeta started to pull himself out slowly, as if to stop, but just thrust deep into the same spot over and over again. Stars flittered in front of Goku's eyes, and he felt his own hardness press against the basket. All of the eyes on him made him feel a twist of shame and excitement in his chest.

"Are you all taking a hint yet?" Vegeta grunted, staring at his audience. It actually turned him on a bit to see all of the women get hot under the collar in such a public space, especially with Goku making all of those noises…

He reached down and tended to Goku's own aching hardness, stroking in time with his own thrusts. The taller Saiyan felt like the world was spinning, with Vegeta inside and around him, and his Prince was tenderly rubbing his hips in that way that always surprised him. He felt a sudden burst of affection in his heady state, and wanted to tell the Prince he loved him deeply.

As if he heard his thoughts, Vegeta pumped Goku's cock harder until he gasped and spurt between his fingers. "Vegeta _aaa_ ," Goku moaned. Vegeta kept pulling on him until he was dry and wobbly on his feet.

"You're beautiful, Kakarot," Vegeta murmured before coming hard. He pressed himself deep inside of Goku's clenching tightness until he saw a white substance dribble down his lover's leg.

"Hot damn," one woman said. Her glasses were fogged up from the performance.

Vegeta pulled out and faced the women before even bothered to put himself back into his pants. He placed his hands on his hips. "Do you all get the picture  _now_?"

"Yes, I think we got the picture quite clearly." A tall man wearing a manager's uniform broke through the crowd of women. Behind him stood the  _real_  police.

Vegeta stared up at them, pants still unbuttoned. "Well, shit."

* * *

The two were sent to the county jail for indecent exposure. When they got arrested in the store, Vegeta was about to bail but Goku told him the police would just follow them home.

Goku clung to the jail cell bars, tears streaming down his face. "I want to go home!"

"Shut-up, Kakarot." Vegeta was laid out on the cot flush against the cell wall. "And stop crying. You're embarrassing me. If you really wanted to leave you could just blow this place up."

"I'm trying to be good. You were the one who wanted to—you know—" Goku gesticulated wildly. "Right in the middle of the store!"

"You liked it." Vegeta groomed his hands with a nail file, looking smug. "They'll give us our phone call soon enough."

"Son Goku?" A uniformed man walked into the holding cell area.

"Can I please use my phone call?!" Goku blubbered. The man pulled a large ring of keys from his belt buckle and opened the cell door. Vegeta sneered at him as if he was something gross on the bottom of his shoe. Goku ran to the phone in the corner of the room and dialed the keypad in a flurry.

"Bulma? Bulma!" Goku screeched. "You gotta help us!"

"You sure are getting into a lot of trouble today. What can little old me do for you now? And why are you calling from this weird number?"

"Um, well. We're in jail right now."

Vegeta could hear his ex scream over the phone from all the way across the room.

"What the hell did you do!"

"It's kind of a long story, but basically we did something… _naughty_  in the store," he whispered. "I'm really scared. They haven't given us any food all day and I don't think I can last much longer!"

"You moron, we've been in the holding cell for thirty minutes!"

"Anyway," Goku said, dismissing Vegeta with a wave of his hand, "Can you help us get out?"

"Goku, I'm not above the law. I can do a lot, but I can't just get you out of jail."

"Could you bail us out? It's a bit high…"

"God." Goku could already imagine Bulma rubbing her temples over the phone. "I knew I would have to bail someone out of jail in my lifetime. I thought it would be Trunks, though."

"So you'll do it!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll come on down there now. You two really are something." She hung up the phone.

Goku hummed and started to dial a new number on the phone. The cop standing at his side pressed down on the phone's hook and switch. "What on earth are you doing?"

Goku gave the man his best set of puppy-dog eyes. "I was calling a pizza place."

"No. Just…no." He ushered the Saiyan back into the jail cell.


	3. Part Three

Bulma Briefs never experienced a migraine like the one that bloomed inside her skull that afternoon. Sighing dramatically, she pulled her Maserati convertible up to the curb outside the county jail. Muscle memory dragged her hand from her lap to the glove compartment, searching for the good ol' pill bottle. Once discovered, she popped two ibuprofen down her throat and grimaced at the taste. Her ex and her childhood friend would show up soon enough. She  _knew_  this would be a long day filled with a lot of bullshit.

At the sound of sobbing, she whipped her head around to find the source. Goku and Vegeta walked side-by-side outside the lobby of the county jail entrance. Tears streamed down Goku's pale cheeks. Vegeta scowled, readjusting the…cat hat on his head.  _What the hell?_  Bulma thought. Goku's lips curled into a frown as he flung open her car door. Predictably, Vegeta didn't bother with the door and hopped into the front seat next to Bulma. She tilted her head at him, miffed he wouldn't even _pretend_  to console Goku.

"You two sure know how to run me through the wringer," Bulma said. She put the car in drive and soon enough they sailed down the highway. "I'll have to say, I never knew you two were so  _adventurous_." She winked at Vegeta, whose face flushed. "You'll have to show me what you did sometime, huh?"

"Ugh, as if!"

"What, perfect strangers get to see two guys go at it but I don't get the same luxury?"

Shy, Vegeta ran his index finger along the leather car door interior. "Hmph. I just had to teach some idiots at the supermarket a lesson."

Goku wailed from the back seat. "I knew it was a horrible idea! They didn't feed us at all in that jail place!"

Vegeta grinned. "I fed you well enough while we were in there."

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Stop being a pervert for one second and look in the glove compartment. I got a present for ya."

Curious, Vegeta opened the compartment. Stuffed inside sat two hats: one a simple black knit cap, the other…

"A fedora? Really, Bulma? Do you take me to be some kind of jackass?"

"Hey, don't knock the fedora. It's a hat for distinguished men, right?"

"You don't know anything." He tossed the kitty cat over his shoulder into the backseat with Goku. In vain he tried to pull the black knit cap over his shiny dome without much fanfare, but Bulma was snickering before he could finish.

She pointed at him like a kindergartner. "Oh my God! Ahaha! I thought the widow's peak was bad enough, but  _this_  is priceless!"

"I liked the kitty hat," Goku mumbled from the backseat.

 _PWEP! PWEP!_ The squeal of police sirens irritated Bulma's ears.  _FUCK!_   _Are you serious? Right after we left the jail?!_

Her freshly-painted nails cracked as she dug her fingers deep into the steering wheel. She pulled over to the shoulder of the highway. She turned to her side and screamed, "No funny business, you idiots!"

Vegeta and Goku's eyes widened. They both nodded in agreement.

In the rear view mirror she eyed the policeman as he parked his motorcycle a few yards behind her car. He strode toward the driver's seat. Already he was busy writing a ticket!  _Goddammit_!

"Ma'am, you were driving pretty fast back there…"

"Krillin!" Bulma smiled at the cop. Krillin lifted his head up and stared into Bulma's brilliant smile.

"Oh, hey Bulma!" He chuckled. "What a coincidence!"

"Yeah, pretty wild, huh!" She took her hands off the steering wheel and relaxed into the driver's seat. Krillin's badge and uniform weren't as menacing as a few seconds ago. Thank Kami the cop was a friend!

"So anyway," Krillin said, printing the ticket from his digital notepad, "If you go to traffic school you can probably get the point taken off your driving record."

"…What?" Bulma's maw hung open. "Are you serious right now?"

Krillin, crooked smile still plastered on his face, shoved the ticket into her palm. "Of course I am!"

"Oh, I get it." Bulma lowered her eyelids and smiled. She knew it was a good idea to wear her halter top today. Krillin's eyes trailed her fingertips as they rose to the top of her blouse. She pulled down on the fabric.

"Hey! NO!" Krillin slapped her hand. "Bad Bulma! I don't take bribes!"

"Are you fucking serious right now!" She smashed her fist into the car horn. Krillin jumped in the air in fright. "You can't give me a ticket!"

"Hey baldie," Vegeta volunteered from the passenger seat, "Stop wasting our time."

Krillin's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "I'm sorry guys, but you're not above the law!"

Searing pain shot through Bulma's skull. Sixteen again, she smashed her right palm into the car horn over and over as if it would sway Krillin's favor. "Goddammit, Krillin! I could buy your whole life if I wanted to!"

"Then paying the ticket shouldn't be a problem!" Veins popped out of Krillin's shiny head.

"That's—" she smashed the car horn, "not—" she rose her middle finger, "the point!"

Vegeta threw his hands into the air. "This is ridiculous! You're not going to give  _my_  Bulma a ticket. Take it back, or I'm getting out of this hunk of scrap metal and kicking your ass!"

A strange, but familiar twinge rose in Bulma's chest. Was Vegeta getting all riled up…on her behalf? When was the last time that happened?

Krillin, absolutely pissed, looked to the backseat for Goku's help in the situation. "Goku, can you believe these two?"

Bulma craned her neck to see the younger Saiyan staring into his lap. He mumbled something before drawing his attention away from the clamor. He stared at the line of drivers rubber-necking the display from the highway.

"Forget it, guys!" Krillin said in a huff, "you're keeping the ticket." With that, he walked away from the vehicle.

Vegeta bucked in his seat like a wild cat. His ki spiked as he unbuckled his seatbelt. The metal slapped against the car door hard enough to make a nasty dent. "How about I teach that cretin about real authority!"

"Vegeta…don't." Bulma and Vegeta turned to look at Goku. His thousand-yard stare made Bulma's stomach plummet. "Krillin's my best friend. And it's just a ticket."

Vegeta tightened his fists. Bulma's own anger subsided to be replaced with panic. She knew her ex was too obtuse to notice Goku's unusually quiet voice.

Bulma jolted when a heavy palm covered her own. She heard Vegeta say, "Fine then. Let's just go so I can get out of this gods-forsaken car."

* * *

Bulma dropped the duo back off at Goku's house in the boonies. She pulled up to the Son home and shooed them both out of her car. "Sorry for the rush boys, but I've got to make sure Trunks is at home.  _Someone_  needs to get on his case about applying to university."

"Wait! What about…" Vegeta pointed at his head.

"Oof, I forgot about that little problem. I'll have to give you a rain check on finding a cure for that. Maybe come over tomorrow and I can take a look?"

"Hn." Vegeta clamored out of the car along with Goku. "Sure. Thanks for your help."

Bulma nodded at them both, and sped off down the dirt road.

Dead silence sat between the two Saiyans. Vegeta found himself at a lost. He expected Goku to be yammering away at this point, seeing as it was dinnertime and they had no groceries. Now to think of it, Goku hadn't said a word during the whole car ride back home. Side-by-side they walked on the cobblestone path to the front door. Out of the corner of his eye Vegeta saw a frown set deep into his lover's face.

"Something must be wrong," he said with an icy jibe. "I've never seen you think so hard. Don't hurt yourself." Vegeta held his breath. He heard nothing in return. Goku didn't even look at him.

"Kakarot—?"

Goku fished the house keys from his jean pocket. A low grunt rumbled in his chest. Jingling keys and the sound of the keyhole's tumblers falling in place echoed in the night air. He shoved the door open.

The cloudy look on his face washed away the moment he set foot through the entrance. "Oh!"

Vegeta followed Goku's gaze to the couch. There Trunks sat with his boxers pooled around his ankles. His fingers were buried deep in Goten's scalp. Goten was sucking his son's cock with a level of tenacity Vegeta had never seen. He deep throated the whole thing happily, moaning every time it reached the back of his throat. His right hand slid up and down Trunk's cock in tandem with his mouth. Vegeta's eye twitched when upon closer inspection, he saw Goten's pants were nowhere to be found. The younger boy was naked from the waist down and jerking himself off.

Trunks snapped his neck around to stare at the front door. "DAD!"

Goten's eyes flew open. He stumbled away from the couch. A long sliver of spit dribbled from his mouth. "I'm sorry!" he blurted, the stupid apology the only thing that sounded appropriate in the situation. He looked down, shrieked, and pulled his shirt over his erection.

"The hell…" Vegeta said, trailing off. How could this happen right under his nose? How long had his son been fucking Kakarot's brat? Was he so stupid as to not notice anything up to this point?

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Vegeta!" Goten smashed his palms together and bowed dramatically; the tip of his nose pressed into his knees. "I, uh, I didn't mean it!"

Vegeta pointed a shaking finger outside the front door. "Go home."

In panic, Goten leapt for the front door. Vegeta smacked his hand against his forehead. "You live here, you simpleton! I was talking to Trunks!"

"Oh. Right!" Goten blushed and dragged himself to his bedroom upstairs. Trunks shuffled past his father out the front door without uttering a word. Vegeta kicked the door close and heaved all of his weight against it.

"Whoa," Goku said.

The tension in Vegeta's muscles washed away at finally hearing Goku speak. "Whoa is right."

Goku rubbed the back of his head. "So, uh, how about that."

"It's an absolute disaster," Vegeta groaned. He rubbed his thumbs against his temples to abate the oncoming migraine.

"Oh?"

Vegeta whipped his head to stare at Goku. "Don't tell me you thought that was normal!"

There  _it_  was again—that icy wall Goku built between Vegeta and himself during the car ride home. Goku sneered. The Prince wasn't used to seeing that look on his stupid boyfriend's face at all. "If they want to be together, I don't have a problem with it," Goku said.

"You're kidding!" Vegeta growled as Goku simply walked away. Vegeta stalked behind him into the kitchen. Goku picked up the phone from the receiver hanging on the wall. It was old enough to have a cord and individual glow-in-the-dark buttons for each number. Goku smashed his index finger deliberately into each button. Like punctuation marks to a furious litany only inside his head.

"Kakarot—we both know my son can't be with yours."

Goku uncharacteristically clicked his tongue. "What's wrong with my Goten?" He held the phone's receiver up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Why are you even using that phone? It hasn't worked since I got here."

Goku put the phone back on the receiver. "Shut-up, Vegeta!"

"Fine, I'll just call them!" Vegeta said. Goku crossed his arms and sighed a bit louder than necessary.  _The jackass must be upset I can read his mind. Of course I know he's thinking about shoving pizza down his gullet more than anything else right now._

"Sometimes, Vegeta…" But Goku was swiftly shushed by Vegeta. The Prince dialed a number and waited for someone to pick up on the other end.

"Hello, this is The Gaping Pie Hole! How may I help you?"

"I am in need of 20 pizzas." Goku made a face at him. "Thirty pizzas," Vegeta said, correcting himself.

"Sorry sir, we don't do catering after 5PM."

"That's preposterous. We've ordered well after 5PM in the past."

"Sorry sir, it's a new policy. Gaping Pie Hole merged with Winking Brown Donut Holes, so now we're under different rules."

Vegeta clenched the phone. "I want to speak with your manager."

"Vegeta." Goku had a far-off look in his eyes again. "Just stop."

"Uh, the manager went home for the night. But you can call back tomorrow morning and I'm sure she'd be happy to—"

"Just send me the goddamn pizzas! Do you want to make some money tonight or not?"

Goku threw his arms into the air. "It's  _hopeless_  with you, isn't it?" He stormed out of the kitchen in a huff. Vegeta raised his brows at the little tantrum.

Vegeta ended the call. "Don't tell me you're getting this pissy because you're hungry." He rounded the corner of the hall and trailed Goku into the bedroom. The taller Saiyan sat on the bed with his legs crossed and his back to the door. Moonlight washed over him and made his visage look oppressively…somber. Something—was it anger?—radiated off of Goku like heat waves.

"Kakarot?" The Price slid onto the duvet. He surprised himself by delicately placing his hand on Goku's shoulder.

Goku flinched from the touch as if burned. "I don't know if I can talk to you right now."

"You really  _are_  upset."

"In your heart, you think Goten isn't good enough for Trunks?"

So  _this_  is what Goku was so upset about. "I don't want to hurt your  _feelings_ , but my son is a bit out of your brat's league."

Goku rounded on him. "But  _you're_ not out of  _my_  league?"

Vegeta blushed at that. "That's not—what I meant—"

"Vegeta, I—urgh!" To stop himself, Goku squeezed his arms tight to his chest.

What was the strange feeling invading Vegeta's senses? He'd rarely seen Goku like this. If the younger Saiyan was so upset he couldn't speak…

"Listen. Kakarot." That's right. He could fix this little mess if he just explained how he felt. "Trunks  _eventually_ needs someone who will be a good compliment to him and can bear his Saiyan children."

"Someone like Bulma."

Vegeta leaned back. The way Goku said it was so spiteful. "Do you have a problem with Bulma now?"

"What if I do?"

The Prince planted his fists on his hips. Goku wasn't even looking at him now! "I don't see what you're getting at."

Goku shifted his weight on the bed and faced Vegeta. His eyes brimmed with tears, but his brows furrowed with anger. "Today you called her  _your_ Bulma."

Vegeta snorted. "So?"

"You've never called me  _your—"_ Goku sobbed, quickly. He looked away. "And I saw from the backseat—how you looked at her."

A low chuckled burst from Vegeta. It was unwelcome in the conversation, but he  _had_  to show Goku how ridiculous he was being! "I'm not interested in her anymore, if that's what you mean."

"You held her hand."

"Huh?"

"After she got the ticket. You two held hands the whole way back home."

Vegeta blinked. "I don't—what—?" It sounded too stupid to be true. He thought back to the past few hours. He remembered yelling about the stupid bald man after the traffic stop, then laughing with Bulma. Sure, Goku was quiet at the time, but that's because Bulma and him were catching up on things and…

 _Oh._  Guilt racked Vegeta's conscience and his pulse quickened. He hadn't even thought about the physical contact when it happened. Sitting in the passenger's seat of Bulma's car felt just like old times. On their old drives the wind would slap their hair around while they both chattered away about dumb shit. And they would always link their fingers together over the gear shift. The gesture was natural in Vegeta's mind. He hadn't ridden in a car with the woman in ages, so it was just a habit to hold her hand again. Right?

His face must have betrayed his thoughts. Goku was crying.

"I…Kakarot, you know that I…" His tongue sat like lead in his mouth. He wanted to call Goku stupid for crying over some hand-holding. It's not like he banged Bulma behind the man's back, or even thought about it! But by the look on Goku's face, everything was much more complicated than a simple grasp of two hands.

"Do you still love me, Vegeta?"

Vegeta stayed silent.

Goku pulled himself closer. "Just tell me you love me."

Vegeta clenched his shaking fists together. "I…"

"Are you going to make me beg!" Goku barked.

Vegeta fell backwards on the bed. The spike in Goku's energy frightened him beyond fear for his physical safety. He wished this moment were just a spar. Hell, he wished instead they were trying to kill each other. At least he'd have a strategy for that. But right now, that old wound between them Vegeta constantly nursed with his own brand of kindness was splitting open. And it was too late for damage control.

He settled on saying, "I care about you. A lot."

Goku's hair wavered in the silent room. Vegeta feared it would flicker gold. "I want you to leave."

"What?"

"I want you to get your things," Goku enunciated, "and I want you to get out."

Vegeta babbled incoherently for a brief moment, then pulled himself away from the bed. He stopped at the dresser and hovered his hands in front the top drawer. He shook his head to awaken from his trance. Deciding to leave everything behind, he fled from the room.

Outside, the cold air grasped at his skin like a desperate ghoul fighting to enter his body. Chirping crickets were the only witnesses to his ascent into the sky.

* * *

Bulma schlepped to one of several kitchens in Capsule Corp. Inside of the refrigerator she found her treasure for the night. Mom hadn't sucked down the pitcher of sangria just yet. She pulled the glass container from the fridge. When she pushed the door shut, a dark figure jumped from behind her.

"Vegeta!" She fell backwards onto the fridge and used her free hand to steady herself. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Getting yourself a little nightcap, I see." Vegeta waltzed to the kitchen table and sat backwards in a chair.

"Oh shut-up." Bulma took a small glass from the kitchen counter and sat down at the table. She poured herself a glass of sangria. "I told you I would look into your little bald issue tomorrow."

"Kakarot kicked me out."

"What!" She choked on a piece of citrus in the drink. "Goku did that? You must have really screwed up."

"Yes. He saw us holding hands today." He scrunched his nose. "I can't wrap my head around it."

She blew out a puff of air.  _Shit._  "Yeah, I could tell he was upset by that, but I guess I didn't want to believe he was…you know…smart enough to notice something like that. He's not the most observant person, so I'm actually really surprised."

Bulma could see Vegeta chewing on her last statement. By the way his nose twitched, he didn't like it. "I want you to know I'm not interested in you."

She held her hands up in defense. "Same goes for me, buddy. Now what are you going to do about it?"

"Me? This is half your fault, you know!" He pulled out the pack of smokes from his jacket pocket.

"Very classy to smoke in the kitchen, Vegeta." She watched him roll his eyes and light a cigarette. "Anyway, I'm definitely going to apologize to Goku tomorrow. You should do the same."

"It all feel so childish." He took a drag and busied his free fingers with tapping a discordant beat on the table top. "I also think he's mad about me not saying  _those_ words."

"What words?"

"You know, those three words people tell each other when they…" He rolled his wrist around to emphasize his point.

"You've never told him you _love him_?!" Bulma leaned backwards in her chair and groaned. "That's not surprising to me, but poor Goku didn't know what he was getting into. He loves everyone, you know? It's different for him. At least now you know what you have to do."

"I need  _some_  of my dignity left, woman. I'm mushy enough as it is. Both of us can't just be giant, useless gelatinous balls of l _ooo_ ve."

Bulma clicked her tongue. "You know what? I'm going to help you out. I know exactly how to fix this situation."

"Oh?" Vegeta's eyebrows quirked. She knew he hated her mischievous nature if he was to be involved in a scheme.

"Yep. Just leave it all to me tomorrow. All  _you_ have to do is follow my directions. Deal?"

Vegeta crushed his half-smoked cigarette into the table. "Will it involve me telling Kakarot how much I  _looove_  him and just want to  _squeeeze_  him to death? Because I refuse to get involved if you think me acting like a teenage girl is going to fix things."

She bit her lip. "Not exactly. But I'm an expert at this kind of thing. My little idea has worked on many of my boyfriends in the past."

"Oh? Now I'm curious as to what kind of sorcery you used over these men. Because I know you never used it on me."

"That's what you think." She refilled her sangria glass. "After my five little steps, I had you eating out of the palm of my hand!"

"Five?" Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "That is…" He rubbed his chin. "Five…curses…"

Bulma downed the last bit of sangria, and yawned. "I'm going to bed. Feel free to use the east guest room on the second floor." She watched him walk away from the table still mulling over whatever thought distracted him. "We've got some shoe polish in the bathroom if you need it for your head!"

"Fuck off!"


	4. Part Four

Goku couldn’t fall asleep. In the deepest recesses of his mind he couldn’t feel anger toward Vegeta anymore. Not quite. All of his friends knew Goku lacked the human trait that would make him unforgiving. If Goku could even give Frieza a second chance at life, he certainly could find it in himself to forgive the person who held sway over his heart.

He cried a lot when Vegeta left. Part of him wanted Vegeta to apologize, but refuse to leave. That it was so easy for him to just walk out the door hurt Goku in a strange way he couldn’t parse.

The absent warmth at Goku’s side drove him out of bed. Drowning his sorrow in another tub of ice cream sounded better than staring at the wall until dawn. He dragged himself into the kitchen and flicked the light switch on.

“Hey Dad,” a small voice said from the kitchen table. Goten was already halfway through the carton of ice cream. His eyes were downcast.

Goku pulled up a chair and sat next to his son. Before he could open his mouth, Goten passed him a spoon from the kitchen drawer. Goku smiled and scratched the back of his head. “I guess you’re having a rough night too.”

“Are you mad at me?” Goten blurted out. Vanilla dripped from the edges of his mouth.

 _Has he just been eating using his face?_ Goku searched for Goten’s own spoon, but saw his son’s hands were empty. “I’m not mad at all!” Goku blushed. “I guess you should’ve picked somewhere more private to do _that_ , though.”

Goten looked like he’d been hit. “But you and Vegeta were gone for a long time so we watched a movie and then—”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“Thanks,” Goten breathed out a heavy sigh. “I’m scared Trunks isn’t going to have as easy of a talk with Vegeta later on.”

Goku wrinkled his nose. “I won’t let Vegeta say a bad word toward him if I can help it.” Goten smiled easily at that. Goku looked down into the ice cream carton and hoped Goten wouldn’t run away at his next question. “So, uh, are you two…?”

“A couple? Naw. At least, um, I don’t think so? It’s kind of confusing for me, you know?” Keeping his composure was difficult with the rising blush in his face. He rubbed the back of his head, and Goku became disturbingly aware of how similar they must look to other people. “I always thought I liked girls. When did you know you liked guys, Dad?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You know, since you’re with Vegeta you must like men.”

“Huh…I’ve never thought much about it.”

Goten fell out of his chair. “DAD!”

Goku looked up at the kitchen ceiling with a dumb smile on his face. “Gosh, is that bad?” He rolled the thought around in his head a bit. During Bulma’s house party a few months ago he remembered freaking out when speaking to the rest of the guys about being gay. It was scary at the time, but once Vegeta reciprocated his love he rarely thought about what being “gay” meant. So far for him, it just meant being with Vegeta, and that meant just doing what felt natural.

Vegeta was the only other person he knew who really challenged him physically and mentally. It made sense they would end up together in some way. The rest of Goku’s friends had turned soft over the years after marriage and having children. Some of them simply enjoyed living peacefully in solitude. It must have been a human thing. Vegeta was the only other one with full Saiyan blood coursing through his veins that stopped him from resting. His passion ignited something inside of Goku he’d never felt for Chi-chi.

But did he also love Vegeta because Vegeta was a man? Goku never experienced lust for his other male friends. Focus on gender and sexuality hadn’t captured Goku’s imagination like everyone else around him. As a child he couldn’t even tell the difference between men and women. So was Vegeta simply an exception?

Ugh…He may not even _be_ with Vegeta after their argument tonight. He cradled his drooping head in his palms.

“Dad, are you okay?” Goten snapped his fingers in front of Goku’s face.

“Oh, sorry son!” Goku grinned. “Got lost in my thoughts for a second there.”

Goten looked at his father like he had two heads. Obviously _those_ words had never come out of his mouth before. Goku stuck his tongue out. “I’m not as stupid as Vegeta says, you know!”

“I didn’t say that!” Goten held up his hands. “I just thought maybe…you could help me figure some of this out?”

“Oh, sure! I’ll try.” Goku finished the rest of the carton of ice cream. He punted the box in the air and it landed in the trash. “So what’s the problem again?”

Goten’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t know whether or not I like guys, remember?”

“Right. Okay.”

“…”

“What?”

“How do I know if I do?”

“Oh!” Goku tapped his fingers on the table. He’d never had a _legitimate_ conversation about sex and attraction with anyone other than Vegeta. And even then, they hadn’t been too comprehensive besides speaking with their bodies. Maybe that’s why he was going to sleep alone tonight? He shook his head and focused on his son. “Well, do you like Trunks?”

“I think I do, yeah.”

“Have you, uh, liked any other guys before?”

“No.”

“Hmm. Then maybe it’s not that big of a deal?” The words were odd coming out of Goku’s mouth. Somewhere inside of himself he didn’t really believe it. “I think it could be helpful to talk to Trunks about it too.”

“I guess that makes the most sense.” Goten leaned back in his chair. “But sometimes I think about how Mom wouldn’t be happy if she knew about any of this.”

“Yeah, I guess she wouldn’t like missing out on having more grandkids.” The mention of Chi-chi’s name brought a strange calmness over him. “But when I really think about it, I don’t think she’d want you to worry.”

Goten nodded, slow. Without words they mutually agreed that Chi-chi’s ghost had no more ill will toward the Son men.

“Daaad,” Goten drawled out slowly. He teetered to and fro in his chair. Immediately Goku could hear his son’s pulse quicken. “Do you, uh, feel differently about Vegeta than you did about Mom?”

Goku grimaced. “What do you mean?” Heat rose to his cheeks. This topic was a lot easier a few seconds ago.

“I know you loved Mom. And I know you love Vegeta now. Is being with Vegeta like being with Mom again?”

“Oh, wow son! Um…” Goku giggled nervously. “Well um, it’s pretty different.”

“Really? How?” The chair Goten balanced on slammed back onto the floor. He leaned closer to Goku. Why was the boy so curious about _this_ aspect of his life? What did it have to do with him? Chi-chi would definitely be _pissed_ to know Goten wanted more intimate details about sweet, pure Goku. He was unsure if he wanted to sully his son’s mind with _that_ kind of information.

Goku dug his fingernails into his pajama bottoms. “Vegeta is a man, so uh, he’s not really interested in the same things your mother liked to do.” There, a perfectly G-rated answer!

“But Vegeta cooks and cleans like Mom did,” Goten said matter-of-factly.

“That’s true,” Goku said.

“Then what’s the difference?”

“When you’re in a relationship with someone there’s more to it than cooking and cleaning!”

“But that’s all Mom liked to do.”

A twinge of guilt plagued Goku’s heart. “She did those things because she loved us, Goten. The way she took care of us was how she expressed her love.”

“But _you’re_ saying,” he said, pointing a finger at Goku, “that’s not how Vegeta expresses his love?”

Why was it so goddamned hot in here? Goku felt like he was in a sauna. “Vegeta cleans because he can’t stand it otherwise.”

“Okay. So how _is_ he different from being with Mom?”

Goku wasn’t sure why, but a memory struck him like lightening. Last weekend Goten and Trunks went camping with some school friends. Vegeta declared the two days a “sex holiday”. It wasn’t much of a holiday by the end—Goku was forced to scrub away incriminating stains from every part of the house where Vegeta had ambushed him. Nope, nothing like those two days had ever happened with Chi-chi. Goku tried to imagine Chi-chi moaning his Saiyan name over and over again. The comparison really fell apart once he realized Chi-chi would never scream about how tight he was…

“Vegeta is much more passionate,” Goku said. Goten nodded and waited for Goku to extrapolate. But silence hung in the air between them.

“I don’t think I get it, but okay.”

Sweat poured down Goku’s face. He was relieved Goten was done prodding around. “Now I feel just as confused as you do about this kind of stuff,” he said.

“Why is Vegeta gone so late, Dad? I can’t sense his ki.”

“We got into an argument, but I think things will be fine tomorrow,” he lied. He was never good at lying.

* * *

 

Talking with his son must have done the trick for his insomnia. Goku slept peacefully through the night. The quietness of the morning was ruined when his phone vibrated on the nightstand.

Drunk on sleep, he pawed around looking for the phone. It rang for a straight minute before he picked up. “Yello?”

“Good afternoon, Goku!”

He pulled himself up in bed. _Shit._ He should have looked at the caller ID. “Hey Bulma,” he croaked.

“Oh, I hope I didn’t wake you! I figured by 11PM you’d be up.”

Holy shit, it was past eleven? “Uh, no, I’m totally fine!” Maybe if he pretended to be chipper, she wouldn’t poke into his business too much. He thought for a moment about Vegeta and felt his stomach lurch at the possibility he slept at Capsule Corp last night.

“So I was just calling to let you know Vegeta stayed over here last night.” Goku assumed she wanted him to process the information for a moment, because she simply inhaled and held her breath after speaking. Instead, he thought about whether or not he should attempt a run to the toilet before puking. “He told me about how upset you were about the car ride.”

How _could_ he? Did he go over there to have sex with Bulma? A horrible reality presented itself to Goku where Vegeta got back together with her. Goku felt stupid in thinking Vegeta would go anywhere else when kicked out. “Oh?” he asked with a strange pitch.

“Yes. Goku, I am SO sorry!” Bulma’s composure fell apart. “I didn’t mean to hold Vegeta’s hand. It was just an old habit. I mean, I’m not making up excuses or anything but I don’t want to be with him anymore. When you two got together I thought it was the cutest thing in the world and I was so happy and I could tell Vegeta was really happy and that he loved you but he couldn’t really say it! Oh, and I think Vegeta is really sorry too! In fact he started crying as soon as he came over here!”

Goku’s eyes widened. “Vegeta cried?”

“Okay, he didn’t cry, but I could tell he was really upset!”

Goku guffawed deep and long. Bulma tittered on the other side of the line, obviously relieved Goku wasn’t yelling just yet. “That’s okay, Bulma. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me on purpose.” _At least I don’t think you would._

“Thanks gods,” she sighed. “I should have known better than to do that. I totally broke Girl Code!”

“Girl Code?”

“Yes. Anyway,” she spat out, going a mile a minute, “I have the perfect idea that will make Vegeta bend to your will.”

Goku felt his stomach lurch again. “Uh, that’s okay, Bulma—”

“No, not at all.” He could tell she thought all of this over before calling. Bulma always functioned at extremes: either she was confident and had the perfect idea for solving a problem, or she was crying on the ground in shambles. “It’s something I would do with my other boyfriends that worked like a charm,” she said.

What was the name of that movie with the rabbit hole…Goku felt just like that. Like he was falling deeper and deeper toward someplace bad. “I’m scared now.”

Bulma giggled. “It’s going to be easy, you’ll see. Now listen up. If a guy really wants to be with you, he’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, right?”

“Uh, sure?”

“It’s true. So all you have to do is test him to see if he’s really worthy of your love.”

“Test him?” Goku had taken “tests” before on his journeys, but never one in the arena of romance. Well, not ones he passed, anyway.

Bulma sighed. “Just hear me out. I’m going to tell you a list of five different things. It’s going to sound weird, but it’ll make sense later. Just write it all down.”

Goku stuck his tongue out and listened to Bulma’s recitation of “The List”. Parts of it made him blush. It was all foreign compared to his previous romantic experiences, which were admittedly simple until Vegeta came along. He looked down at what he wrote once Bulma was finished:

  1. Reward Yamcha with anal. Afterward, guilt him into going down on me.
  2. Make Yamcha train Puar to use the litter box.
  3. Make Yamcha delete other girls’ numbers from his phone.
  4. Make Yamcha cut his hair.
  5. Make Yamcha go down on me again. Rinse and repeat!



“Bulma, what does ‘go down on’ mean?”

“You know, cunnilingus.”

“ _What?_ ”

“All you need to know is that Yamcha hated going down on me. But once I found out he loved anal, I knew I could use that to my advantage. After I went through with my five-step plan, he went down on me all the time. Why? Because he knew I would eventually give him anal if he kept doing nice things for me.”

“Why not just do step 1 over and over again? That way you don’t have to do all the, uh, weird stuff in numbers two through five.”

“Because men love a challenge, duh! I thought you would have realized that by now, Goku.” Bulma _tsked_ over the phone. “You have to make a guy think he’s putting in a lot of hard work, or else he won’t think you’re worth suffering for. It’s the perfect number of demands. He gets pissed off, but only long enough for him to think it was worth it in the end. Get it?”

“So all those things you asked him to do were really important to you, too?”

“Honestly, they just need to be requests you know he hates doing. Real love is doing things you hate to make someone else happy. Thus making this test of true love a necessity.”

Goku startled at that. _Is that what love is supposed to be?_ “I don’t know if I can be that mean,” he said. He also didn’t think the list would work outside of a fairy tale.

“Gokuuuu, you gotta trust me.”

Everything about this felt wrong. Could Vegeta be persuaded to humor Goku and do that _one_ thing he always yearned for? Did he really want to trick Vegeta into begrudgingly letting Goku be dominant? That was the one thing he wanted from his lover. Or so he thought...

“Okay, I’ll do it. Can you help me write the list, though?”

“Of course. Come over to Capsule Corp. You can even ambush Vegeta and get the first item checked off your list if you want.” Going by the sing-song lilt in her voice, Goku felt she assumed it had to be something dirty.

“Vegeta takes what he wants, so I have no idea what else I could give him.”

“Oh.” Bulma sounded less excited. “Maybe there’s something new you think he’d go crazy over?”

An idea popped in Goku’s head. Maybe he had a chance.

* * *

He was nervous. No, scratch that. He was terrified.

An hour ago he landed at Capsule Corp. Bulma pulled him into her bedroom to talk about his “list”. Surely Vegeta sensed his ki and knew he was holed up in Bulma’s room. So it couldn’t be much of an ambush. But Goku tracked Vegeta’s ki moving the short distance from his bedroom to an adjacent room. Bulma told Goku he was probably in the shower and that _now_ was the time to strike!

Currently Goku was inside of Vegeta’s bedroom waiting for him to finish his shower. He was “prepared” to say the least. The love seat he rested on squeaked under him as he shifted his weight. He knew Vegeta was aware of his presence. But for whatever reason, he was taking his sweet time in the bathroom. Maybe the jig was up, and all of Goku’s girly scheming would have been for naught.  

“Kakarot, I will be out in a moment.” Goku’s brain reeled at hearing his voice. He didn’t sound upset. He hoped.

Finally, Vegeta opened the sliding door to the bathroom. Water dripped down his chest and hard stomach in rivulets. A blue toothbrush dangled from the side of his mouth. A fluffy bath towel was slung around his waist. Goku wanted to laugh because he also had the knit cap on. But he keep his gaze from the couch steady.

“Hi Vegeta.”

Vegeta spit out the tooth brush and his jaw dropped.

Goku smirked. Maybe this would work after all. The heightened energy from ascending to Super Saiyan was finally making him feel cocky. Speaking of, Vegeta’s roaming eyes trailed down to his crotch. Goku palmed the hard bulge between his legs.

Speechless. Goku had rendered Vegeta utterly speechless. This was a first.

“Is something wrong, Vegeta?”

“How--what—?”

“Oh, is this bothering you?” Goku looked down at himself. He ran his forefinger and thumb around the bulge until it created an impressive tent in his pants. He unbuttoned himself and unzipped his fly. Without any underwear in the way, his cock sprung free and slapped against his stomach. Vegeta coughed and looked as if he was about to catch a nosebleed. Goku had never seen him blush so hard!

He threw Vegeta a coy look, then grabbed the base of his dick. “You’ve never seen it this big before, have you?” He flopped himself around for effect.

Childlike awe filled Vegeta’s eyes. “Gods Kakarot, how long have you been hiding that thing?”

“Do you want to touch it?”

Seconds passed. Eventually Vegeta nodded. Gently he tugged on his towel and let it fall to the floor. Goku felt relief at seeing proof Vegeta was happy to see him as well.

Eager, he advanced on Goku but halted when the Super Saiyan growled. “Get on your knees first.”

Vegeta frowned at that. It’s wasn’t like the man hadn’t sucked dick before. But doing it under command was surely new territory for him. He looked down at the floor. Goku wondered if he would find an answer there. Never had he ordered Vegeta around during sex, so he assumed the new dynamic was causing Vegeta alarm. Vegeta’s eyebrows twitched as he sunk on his knees into the plush carpet. Goku felt as if his gaze was psychically pinning Vegeta to the ground.

“Now crawl over here and put my cock in your mouth.”

The small whimper that came out of Vegeta sent a shiver straight down Goku’s spine and in-between his legs. A mixture of horror and fascination washed across Vegeta’s face. Goku loved how he could almost hear the conflicting thoughts bouncing around inside his love’s head. He knew Vegeta wanted to punch his lights out and jump him at the same time. Sure enough, he crawled over to Goku’s crotch with his eyes fixated on the large organ. Goku longed to touch the sinewy muscles flexing in Vegeta’s arching back.

Calloused fingers wrapped around Goku’s member. A tentative lick from the Prince spiraled pleasure through Goku’s body. He relaxed into his position on the couch and let his legs fall open wider. Vegeta slid his velvety tongue against Goku’s slit, eliciting a moan from the bigger Saiyan. Experimental fingers kneaded Goku’s balls while Vegeta took his cock inch-by-inch into his mouth.

All of the attention Vegeta was paying him with his hands and mouth made Goku feel dizzy. Vegeta had never sucked him off like this before. But fuck, was he good at it. The Prince’s tongue was treating his cock like a precious treasure, what with how thorough he was being in licking the length of every vein. Sometimes Vegeta alternated between licking and slowly pumping Goku with tight, but languid thrusts. It drove Goku into a frenzy having his foreskin pumped up and down his tip. Goku’s bravado slipped away from him and he groaned; instinctively he lifted his hips off the couch.

“Take all of it,” Goku gasped. He tugged on the back of Vegeta’s head and thrust up into his warm mouth until his balls were flush to Vegeta’s lips. Up for the challenge, Vegeta bobbed his head and continued to deep-throat Goku’s wondrous dick over and over again. The muscles in Goku’s arms and back spasmed as he moaned.

“Mmm, Kakarot,” Vegeta hummed.

Goku kept his grip on Vegeta’s head and continued to face-fuck him.“How is it?”

“ _Amazing,_ ” Vegeta sighed, voice still muffled. Drool pooled from the corners of his mouth and he bobbed his head even faster than Goku was pushing him.

If Goku let this continue, he was going to cum all over Vegeta. The image of Vegeta drenched in Goku’s seed turned him on beyond belief; for a second he considered yanking him off his dick and coating him then and there. But Goku had to stay focused and remember he had a long-term goal in mind. With every ounce of his being, he hoped he was persuasive enough to sway Vegeta’s feelings about what was about to happen next. Unlike Bulma, he didn’t believe straight-out trying to _guilt_ Vegeta would work at all. But maybe after getting him all worked up first…

Goku held his breath and hoped his voice still held authority. “Stop. Get on the bed and spread your legs.” After all this sucking and jerking off, he was a bit hoarse. But he still had so much more to get out of Vegeta.

Apprehension washed all of the pleasure from Vegeta’s face. He dropped Goku’s cock from his mouth. “Huh?” he asked, still dazed from the blow job.

“Just do it,” Goku growled. Vegeta hesitated before crawling on the bed and laying on his back.

“Get on your stomach,” Goku said. Vegeta genuinely looked scared now. Goku didn’t waste any time ripping his own shirt and pants off. He walked toward the bed, feeling his golden hair ripple with his aura. Vegeta looked up at him in awe.

“Do it!” Goku yelled. Vegeta obeyed and rolled over. Suddenly the kindness inside of Goku swelled, and an apology almost spilled from his lips. Goku pushed the urge away and busied his hands with spreading Vegeta’s legs even farther apart. _Don’t worry Vegeta, I’m not going to hurt you._

Without warning he dived in, and licked a clear line from Vegeta’s hole up to his crack. Pillows rustled on the bed as Vegeta dug into them for dear life. “Fuck, Kakarot!”

Goku spread both his ass cheeks and squeezed them until Vegeta moaned. _Ooh_ …he’d always wanted to do this. Vegeta’s pride was always in the way of him receiving this kind of pleasure. Goku swirled his tongue against the puckered skin and really savored how different Vegeta tasted here. He could even taste whatever shower gel Vegeta used. Vegeta rutted backwards against Goku’s mouth, his body aching for deeper touches.

“Maybe I should stop if you can’t handle this,” Goku said. He didn’t want to stop, not in a million years. But he had to push Vegeta to the point where he really wanted this no matter what.

A small whine came out of Vegeta. “No…please don’t…”

“Why not?”

“I’ve never felt this way before,” Vegeta said in a rush. The inflection in his voice was higher-pitched than usual. _He must be pretty surprised he’s liking this!_ Goku thought. Even his thighs were quivering badly enough for Goku to feel sympathy for him.

This time, Goku pressed his tongue with enough pressure to enter him. He watched Vegeta claw a stripe into the bedsheets because he was worked up so bad. Gently he thrust his tongue in and out of his hole until Vegeta was loud enough to wake the dead.

Now Goku was ready for the kill. He felt brave when he said, “Pretend my dick is inside of you.”

Vegeta only tensed up a little. Goku sunk his middle finger into his asshole until it reached the knuckle. Vegeta gasped at the sensation. “ _Oh_ …”

Delighted by the noise, Goku pulled his finger out and thrust two fingers inside. The way Vegeta’s skin opened and tightened to adjust to his hand sent pleasure straight to his groin. Vegeta was hot and wet with the spit mixed in, and Goku could only imagine how good he’d feel with his cock in there. He was going to cum soon if he kept ruminating on what _could_ happen. He pulled his fingers in and out, stretching the skin and easing the tension in Vegeta’s body. Vegeta moaned low and deep into the pillow.

“Do you think my cock would feel good inside of you?” Goku asked. He curled his fingers around a bundle of nerves that made Vegeta spasm against the bed.

“Ah!” Vegeta gasped and licked his lips. He was panting now. “You’re making me reconsider.”

“Oh?” Goku said. He added a third finger and thrust them in and out while licking the muscled hole again. Vegeta cursed below him and fucked the mattress in desperation. Goku matched his thrusting fingers with Vegeta’s rhythm, occasionally twisting his fingers again.

Vegeta arched his back with the change in pressure, and moaned. “Gods, don’t stop, Kakarot.”

He was lost to the pleasure now. Whatever remaining sense of pride or reticence was being fucked out of him with only three fingers. “You’re so tight, Vegeta. I don’t even think I could fit in there,” Goku sighed. Vegeta whimpered at that. “I never knew you wanted me to fuck you this bad.”

“Fuck,” Vegeta’s voice was hoarse. All the fight in him had drained away and all that remained was exposed lust and need. But could Goku make Vegeta need him even more than before?

Goku pulled his fingers out. He climbed onto the bed next to Vegeta, and laid on his back. “Come sit on my face,” he commanded.

Vegeta pulled his quivering body up and crawled over Goku. Goku grunted. He needed Vegeta facing the opposite direction, so he forced him to spin around. Vegeta lowered himself onto Goku’s face. Easily Goku held Vegeta up by the hips so that he hovered in the air while his knees rested against either side of Goku’s chest. He lowered Vegeta down slow, until his face was buried in his ass. He licked ferociously and used both of his hands to jerk Vegeta off.

Vegeta was screaming at this point. “Please,” was all he could get out between pants. “Please, Kakarot!”

“Please what?” Goku was going to push him to the limits until he said exactly what he wanted to hear.

“Fuck me,” Vegeta said in a faint whisper.

Goku gasped. All reason went out the window. He pushed Vegeta off his face and forced him down onto all fours. He took his cock and thrust once to bury himself to the hilt inside of Vegeta. Below him Vegeta wailed, and immediately shot cum all over the sheets.

Temporary sanity broke through the fog of lust in Goku’s brain. He didn’t want Vegeta to have _everything_ just yet. He pulled his dick out, ignoring Vegeta’s groans of protest at never getting truly pounded. He jerked himself until his pleasure peaked, and cum sprayed onto Vegeta’s back. He could see Vegeta’s fists twist into the sheets as he rode out his last wave of pleasure.

Goku collapsed on the bed. He powered down and his blond locks returned to black. Sweaty, he pulled himself closer to Vegeta so they were staring into each other’s eyes.

Goku could say for the first time in their relationship, he felt smug. But his victory was short-lived when he noticed Vegeta’s hat had fallen off. “Oh, look, Vegeta! Your hair!”

Vegeta mumbled. “Now isn’t a good time to make fun of me.”

Goku lifted his hand and slid his fingers through the short spiky hair on Vegeta’s head. “It’s growing back!”


	5. Part Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First person to get my Simpsons reference gets a cookie. Enjoy!

Seeing was believing, so Vegeta had to get to a mirror. He skipped to the bathroom and stared at his head. It was nothing compared to his wild mane from before, but it was a good start. He ran his palms across the soft down on his scalp. It looked a bit like a buzz cut. Vegeta didn't think of himself as vain in terms of looks, but he couldn't ignore the pride swelling in his chest. He looked odd, but handsome.  _Yup, everything's coming up Vegeta!_ he thought.

"Kakarot, I think your dick is magic!"

Goku laughed and joined Vegeta in front of the mirror. "I don't think it is."

Vegeta stared at Goku intently. He grasped the back of his spiky head and jerked him closer. His tongue slid past Goku's lips and tasted the inside of his wet mouth. Goku groaned and mimicked Vegeta's ministrations. His thick fingers rubbed the texture of Vegeta's new hair.

Gently, Vegeta dipped his head into the kiss. Their heads moved in rhythm with one another in a slow dance. Vegeta was surprised at the perfect way Goku tasted. Goku's hand roamed across his naked shoulders and slid into the dip of his back. He froze.

"Eeew…" Goku pulled away. "I forgot I came on your back…"

"It's  _ **your**_ jizz, you idiot! You put it there!" Vegeta turned on the shower and grumbled. He yanked the shower curtain open, stepped in, and slid it close hard enough for the curtain rings to clatter against one other.

"Aww, I'm sorry 'Geta." Vegeta stared at Goku's stupid silhouette from inside the shower. It got larger and larger, until Goku was climbing into the shower with him.

"Get out."

"Hey,  _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be mad at  _you_ , remember?" Goku laughed and let his eyes roam over Vegeta's body.

The Prince faced away from the water stream and let its high pressure clean away the mess on his back. Somehow the third-class always managed to humiliate him without even trying! He stared at Goku's smiling face and felt his irritation ebb away. Goku looked gorgeous with the shower steam rising up past his chest to leave small droplets in his hair. How was it so effortless for him? He looked so innocent and kind, too. Vegeta never experienced fawning over a pretty face until he met Goku. And he'd explored all corners of the universe before coming to Earth. It was strange, and honestly made him feel uncomfortable about himself. It felt like an aggressively feminine act.

"What are you thinking about?" Goku was touching him now.

"Your face."

"What about it?" He pulled Vegeta closer.

"It's…cute."

Goku smiled wider. "Thanks, Vegeta! You're pretty cute too." Goku pressed his hard-on against Vegeta's leg and the moment was ruined.

"You're like a machine today," Vegeta mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Goku said with a hint of sincerity, but it was too late. He was already pressing his hips against Vegeta. He locked both his hands around Vegeta's wrists and pressed him against the shower wall. Like instinct, Vegeta lifted his right leg and swung it around Goku's hip. With his thighs more open, Goku took advantage and rubbed his cock against Vegeta's. Vegeta threw his head back and let the hot water rush over their grinding bodies. Goku's rhythm against him was surprisingly sensual; he felt like Goku was dancing. Both their eyes were heavy-lidded as if in a trance.

All of the touching thrilled Vegeta. A fantasy sprung in his mind where Goku twirled him around and fucked his brains out in the shower. He blinked, surprised by the intrusive thought.

"You feel great," Goku whispered. He reached in between them, and Vegeta watched him grasp both their members. He jerked slowly so he didn't lose grip of their erections, but it was more than enough pressure. Vegeta thrust against Goku's wet palm and relished the sweet pleasure his fingers brought. All the steam surrounding them made him feel light-headed, and the jerking of his cock lit every nerve ending in his body on fire.

"Ah shit," Goku groaned. Thick cum spurted from his tip and covered them both.

Vegeta's eyes widened as Goku kept coming—much longer than usual. The sight excited something primal in him and made his lower stomach spasm. He came shortly after, mixing himself with Goku's wetness. The liquid dribbled over Goku's hand. "You sure know how to make a mess, Kakarot."

He let Goku wash himself first. Goku stepped out of the shower once he was cleansed off, leaving Vegeta behind to recover his senses alone. A minute later Vegeta stepped out and reached for a new towel.

"Ay, Vegeta! Want to join me?"

Vegeta looked across the bathroom to see Goku sitting in a porcelain tub. The water from the faucet was highly efficient and filled the whole thing in seconds. "Another bath?" he asked.

"This is more like a jacuzzi, isn't it? It has water jets!"

 _Idiot. He just wants to lounge around all day naked._ He grunted and cricked his neck. "I suppose we should actually talk." Vegeta covered the distance between them and slid into the warm water. Bath water did feel a lot nicer than a shower when he didn't have to focus on cleaning himself.

Goku lay himself backwards and rested against Vegeta's chest. Vegeta sighed and propped his chin on top of Goku's spiky head. He never imagined after the first time Goku gave him a bath, he'd willingly do it again months later.

"This is nice," Vegeta said. He closed his eyes and left the room silent for Goku to air his thoughts.

"Much better than my tub, huh?" Goku twiddled his thumbs together.

"I'm sorry about what I did. Yesterday, that is." Vegeta's heart beat faster. Apologizes were signs of weakness, so he had the natural inclination to avoid them. But he couldn't let Goku hurt any longer. "And I'm sorry for not saying…that thing you want me to say."

"Thanks. And I know you love me." Vegeta noticed the way Goku's voice fell at the end of the sentence. "I just don't understand why it's so hard for you to say it if you feel it."

Vegeta wasn't stupid. The strange timbre in Goku's voice betrayed his words. "You mean you don't understand why I can't say it to your face."

"Yeah."

Vegeta traced circles on Goku's bare thigh. "I'm new at this kind of thing. We've only been together a few months. If you give me a bit more time, I can get used to all of this."

"Was it so different with Bulma?"

He wasn't sure how to navigate this topic. "It was. We weren't close until after the birth of Trunks." Knowledge dawned on Vegeta and he wanted to smack himself. "But what I mean to say, is that I rarely said those words to Bulma, and that was over the course of two decades."

Goku must have been satisfied with the answer, as he leaned back farther to smush Vegeta against the tub. "Being with you is different than being with Chi-chi, too."

"Oh?" Vegeta wanted to say something snarky about the woman, but knew Goku wouldn't like that.

"Yeah. Everything is kinda brighter when I'm around you, ya know?" Vegeta pressed his lips into the back of Goku's neck and smiled.

Goku went on. "And compared to you, I never had anywhere near as much sex with her." Goku laughed and Vegeta didn't have to look at his face to know he was blushing. "To be honest I never thought about sex much before the last few months."

"Hn. I hope you aren't just using me for my body, Kakarot."

"Heh. The Prince of all Saiyans can bring more to the table than just a hot bod. He's even got a full head of hair!"

"Ha-ha, clown." Hesitant fingers rose and Vegeta touched his furry scalp to remind himself it was still there.  _So the Old Man thought he could pull one over on me beyond the grave, did he? Looks like I showed the bastard a thing or two. I have no idea what Kakarot did to fix it. But now everything is coming up Vegeta!_

"Vegeta, are you monologuing to yourself again?"

"What do you mean!"

"Whenever you look off into the distance for a long time without saying anything, then you smile, it's obvious what you're doing."

"You don't know what you're talking about—!"

"You don't have to feel embarrassed. Sometimes I forget I'm talking to people mid-conversation too."

"Ugh, you're impossible!"

Goku squeezed Vegeta's arm. "Mm, that's not what you said in the shower. Or in the bedroom."

"Shut-up!"

"I could tell you really wanted me to give it to you in the shower, too."

"I—I didn't—" Vegeta just wasn't sure how to get around it. Before today, he'd never lowered his defense to the point of turning into putty in Goku's hands. The dolt actually made him beg! He was hoping Goku wouldn't bring it up at all and forgot about it, but now it looked like he wasn't going to hear the end of it.

Goku tilted his head back to look up at Vegeta. He winked. "It's fine, I know you got lost in the moment. I won't tell anyone our secret."

 _Whew._  He feared Goku was going to harp on and on about it. Not that it was so bad…Fuck, who was he kidding? If he could turn back time, the only thing he would change was coming too soon. Did wanting it so badly make him like a woman? He'd always seen Goku as being feminine. He could tell Goku loved men by the way he ran his hands over Vegeta's body before falling asleep every night. The fact the buffoon loved bottoming couldn't be ignored either. Vegeta, on the other hand, was different. Or so he thought this whole time.  _I wonder if Kakarot has ever—_

"Veg _ee_ ta, you're doing it again. Did you even hear what I said?"

Vegeta groaned. "What is it now?"

"I  _asked_ , do you really think Goten isn't good enough for Trunks?"

Not this again. "I told you how I felt. Am I not allowed to have an opinion?"

"It's just don't get it."

"That's because you hit your head as a child."

"Hey!" Goku threw water into Vegeta's face. "Don't be mean. I'm just saying they're not that different from you and me."

That hit a little too close to home for Vegeta. He wanted to get out of the bathtub and end the conversation before things got too far.

But Goku didn't know how to shut his trap. "I talked to Goten and he isn't even sure they're in a relationship yet. I don't think things are serious, so it's not like they're going to get married or anything. Gohan also has Pan, and he might want even more children. So it's not like the Saiyan race is going to die." He gasped. "Do you really want to be a grandfather?!"

"Ugh, I don't care about children!"

"Then why did you make such a big deal about Trunks having babies?"

Goddammit, was he going to have to spell it out for the big idiot? Why couldn't he be allowed to hide this one thing from him? "It's hard to explain to a simpleton like you."

Goku pulled away from Vegeta to stare him in the face. "Are you hiding something?"

 _Fuck_. "It's none of your concern!"

"You are hiding something. Tell me what it is!"

"No." Vegeta stood up and tried to climb out of the tub. Goku latched onto his wrist and pulled him down, splashing water everywhere. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just tell me what you're hiding!"

"I'm not hiding anything. Release me!"

Goku tickled Vegeta's sides. "Not until you spill the beans!"

Vegeta powered up to intimidate the bigger Saiyan, but he just wasn't letting up. Goku spiked his energy as well, and wrapped his arms around Vegeta's waist. "Do you want to have to tell Bulma we blew up her bathroom?!"

"It's because Goten is the  _dominant_  one, you idiot!" Vegeta punched the side of Goku's skull. "And I refuse to let Trunks be submissive to a Son!"

"Ow!" Goku rubbed his head. Vegeta plopped down in the water with his arms crossed. "Vegeta, what are you even talking about?"

 _Stupid bastard! "_ In Saiyan relationships there is always a dominant partner and a submissive partner. If they decide to go through a mating ritual, they are forever bound to each other. If they want children, the submissive partner will bear them." Vegeta grit his teeth. "And I will not allow any opportunity for anyone from the royal family to bear children like some bitch!"

"Huuuh?" Goku put his hand to his chin in deep thought. "Mating ritual? Submissive? You're going to have to break it down for me."

The vein in Vegeta's forehead throbbed. "I'm getting out of the tub first, because I'm turning into a fucking prune!"

* * *

Goku felt radiant. Here Vegeta was, pissed as all hell, but the two were cuddled up beneath a coconut tree near the Capsule Corp property. It was late afternoon and Goku thought it was a smart idea to crack open one of the coconuts nearby and eat the meat on the inside. Vegeta held his nose up in the air like he would never be so uncouth as to do such a thing. But Goku knew it was all posturing, because the man used to eat his own enemies after decimating planets.

Nevertheless, Goku couldn't avoid noticing how content Vegeta acted. He didn't even complain that much about the sex! Well, maybe he was a little upset and didn't want to talk about it. But with the way things were going, Vegeta was to stay in this good mood for a while. Now Goku was lucky enough to hear about some Saiyan secret.

"Can you explain what submissive and dominant mean?" Goku chewed more coconut meat and didn't care he spoke with his mouth full.

"The dominant one is the person who could overpower the submissive one in a fight."

"Huh. So how can you tell Goten is—?"

"Believe it or not, your son is stronger than Trunks. No matter how lazy he is."

Goku loved Goten, but he found that assertion hard to believe. Either way, he was more interested in the logistics of the act of mating itself. "So Saiyan men can have babies?"

Vegeta squirmed. "Yes. The submissive ones."

"How does that work?"

"Have you ever seen  _Alien_? It's not pretty for the male who gives birth, but nature finds a way."

Goku scratched his head. "Wait. So does this mean in our relationship…"  _Oh. Oooh. OOOOH!_

"Fuck you."

Goku grinned so hard, his face hurt. "Vegeta…"

"Please don't say it, Kakarot."

"Veget _aaa_ …Does this mean…I'm the dominant one?" Goku laughed and held his sides. Vegeta continued to blush and look off into the distance. Could it be true? Maybe Goku didn't have to go through with "The List" at all, and he could get Vegeta to bend to his will just based on Saiyan biology.

"Listen. I'm not going to confirm anything, but I will say this fact doesn't change anything about  _our_  relationship. It's not like we're going to mate, so you might as well stop bragging to yourself right now!"

Damn. Goku needed Bulma's list after all. Part of him still didn't believe it would work, but it was worth a try since he'd gotten this far. "What's the mating ritual like?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm a Saiyan, right? And as my Prince, shouldn't you be happy to tell me all about our traditions?"

Vegeta sputtered at that. Good.  _Joke's on you Veggie, I'm not as stupid as I look. Take that!_

"I guess I can tell you, but don't go getting any stupid ideas in your head."

Goku nodded. He wasn't interested in having any of Vegeta's children. He just wanted Vegeta to truly be his in the Saiyan way, which was probably more legitimate in his lover's mind. The thought of spending the rest of his life with Vegeta at his side sounded like a dream.

"First, the dominant and submissive positions are determined by the first time a couple fights."

"Mmhm," Goku said, pretending as if the first time he and Vegeta fought had no bearing on this new information at all.

"Next, the submissive one will have to prove his loyalty to his lover. After that, the dominant one proves he is a good provider and protector."

"Is that it?"

"No. Next, the families or tribes of both partners must meet and approve of the coupling."

"Sounds pretty easy!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Anyway, after all of that, the couple has sex. Then they're mated for life. If the submissive one is willing, he will get pregnant."

"Wow." Goku scratched his head. Although slowly, he connected the dots and wondered if he could really pull off such a scheme…"All of that sounds pretty complicated to me," he lied.

"Well, now you know." Vegeta laid back against Goku and sighed. He looked so peaceful now with his eyes closed and his short hair ruffling in the breeze.

"'Geta, I have a favor to ask of you."

"What now?"

"I know this won't make you happy to hear, but I've been thinking about it for a while."

Vegeta startled at that and propped himself up to glance back at Goku.

"Could you apologize to all of my friends you killed when you first came here?"


	6. Part Six

_No. No no no no, never._

"No, Kakarot. No. No. Absolutely not. Never. No."

"But—"

"No."

"But just let me explain—"

"No."

"I think if you just listen you'll see—"

"What about all the people  _you've_  killed?"

Goku crossed his arms. "I've never killed for selfish gain."

"Fine then. Why do you want this  _now_?" He pushed himself close enough to Goku's face that their noses touched. "What changed from yesterday?"

Did Goku only want to humiliate him? A dark though crushed his spirit; surely Goku didn't want to punish him after all they'd been through.

"I thought about the future and...Um…I just want the gang to like you more."

Vegeta narrowed his eyes. Goku was terrible at lying. "Oh? And what are you looking forward to so much that's in the future?"

"Uhh…"

_Gods…he's too pure-hearted to go through with deceiving anyone._ "I'm waiting."

"To be honest? I want them to know how amazing you are. I don't want another 20 years to go by and I'm the only one who can see that about you."

_You sly son of a bitch._

Vegeta pulled his arms closer to his chest. He fought back the annoyed sigh escaping from his mouth and wondered if he was going mad. If this is what falling in love was supposed to feel like. "If I go through with this, will it make you happy?"

Goku's face softened. "Wow. Definitely!"

He'd taken Goku by surprise. He found comfort in the way Goku looked at him as if he were a stranger. "If that's the case, I'll do it."

"Wow Vegeta, you'll really do it?" Goku scooped Vegeta up into his arms and spun him around.

"Stop that!"

"Wheee!"

Vegeta punched Goku in the gut. He doubled over, coughing. "Ugh, you're so mean!"

"That's what you get." Vegeta smiled down at Goku's crumpled body on the ground. "I can't let you get too soft around me."

"You didn't have to sucker punch me!"

"If you want a fair fight, then let's spar. You're due for a good beating anyway."

"Yeah, I guess." Goku leaned against the coconut tree to catch his breath.

* * *

The two Saiyans spent the next few hours pummeling each other at the small island west of Goku's home. The quiet beach held happy memories for Goku. Ones where he talked to Vegeta about private things…And kissed him for the first time...

Today on the island felt different. With the merciless way Vegeta smashed into Goku, he wondered if the Prince was taking his anger out on him. They stuck purely to hand-to-hand combat during the spar, and Vegeta's kicks were brutal. Goku barely had the chance to block the knee barreling toward his face, when seconds later Vegeta used a sweep to knock him clear off his feet.

Twilight bled into night. Without speaking, they tossed their shoes into the sand heaps on the beach and moved the fight into the rising tide. The cool wash over Goku's feet was pleasant in contrast to the building pressure Vegeta applied to his attacks. Goku found himself locking fists with his rival, and struggling to push him over.

The look Vegeta gave him—what was he thinking? It disturbed Goku to see black eyes looking back at him not with disdain, but with interest. Vegeta was examining his face, but Goku wasn't sure what for. Goku grinned and decided to goad him out of it. "Don't tell me I'm too pretty to hit?"

He anticipated another punch. Vegeta continued to gaze back at him with calm eyes, which put Goku even more on guard. "Kakarot" he said, placing emphasis on each syllable, "I want you to know something."

Goku raised his brows. "Huh?"

"I—"

Goku's cell phone vibrated in his pocket. "Oh, someone's calling!" He pulled away from Vegeta and answered his phone. "Hey, Krillen!"

Vegeta fell over into the water. "You can't be serious right now!"

"Hey, Goku!" Krillen said. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight?"

"Sure, that sounds great!"

"Sweet! Can you be here in an hour?"

Goku looked down at his dirty hands and feet. "I should shower first, but I think we can make it."

"'We'? Are you with someone?"

"Ya, Vegeta. Duh!"

Silence filled the line. Goku heard Krillen mumble something away from the receiver before speaking again. "Uh, he doesn't  _have_  to come, does he?"

"Huh? Krillen, Vegeta's my—"  _Oh shit, he doesn't even know!_ Goku smacked his forehead. Did  _any_  of his friends know about his new relationship? Did they even know Vegeta had been living with him for the past few months? Realization dawned on Goku and for the first time he saw the pitfall of only seeing your friends a few times a year.

"Vegeta's your what?"

"I can explain once we get there."

"Okaaay then…"

Goku could tell by the way Krillen trailed off, he wanted Goku to let him off the hook and bar Vegeta from coming. "Don't worry Krillen, it'll be fun!"

"I don't want to go to your stupid bald friend's house!" Vegeta yelled from meters away. He was stomping around and waving his shoes in the air like a madman. "And tell him he can kiss my ass! I heard what he said about me."

"Don't mind him, Krillen. He's just cranky because he's hungry."

"Alright, see you soon, buddy!"

Goku stuffed his phone back into his pocket. "I bet you'll like it, Vegeta. Krillen's house is pretty cool."

"Hmph." Vegeta pulled his boots on and blasted away into the night.

"Man, I wish he didn't get angry so easily." Goku followed the blue light in Vegeta's wake back to their house.

* * *

Vegeta was nervous. Underneath all the disdain, lack of respect, and general annoyance with each of Goku's friends, lay discomfort. They didn't like him. For years Vegeta struggled to appear normal enough around them to tolerate their presence, and for them to tolerate him. But being with Goku made everything more complicated. Bulma always made a huge deal out of him looking nice and being sociable at parties, but even she would talk shit about the simpletons from time to time. Goku, on the other hand, loved them unconditionally. And now Goku wanted  _him_  to love them.

Vegeta wanted them all to like him.

The truth made him nauseous.

It didn't take long for him and Goku to shower and fly into the city. The Bald One lived in the suburbs outside of downtown. Goku rang the doorbell before Vegeta could make any value judgments about how much the place cost.

The door opened. Krillen peeped his head out. "Hey, Goku!" He flew forward and embraced his best friend.

"Hey, Krillen." Goku grinned a mile wide. Vegeta shuffled his feet and wasn't sure what to do with his body.

"How ya been?" Krillen asked. He stood back and glanced at Vegeta. He gave him a curt nod. Vegeta nodded back. He was relieved he didn't have to do anything awkward to make his presence known.

"I've been pretty good." Goku paused to give Vegeta a knowing look. Vegeta blushed.  _Just go ahead and tell the man we're fucking already._

Krillen looked…uncomfortable. Going by the stupid look on his face, he hadn't connected all the dots just yet. "Great. Well come on in, dinner's just about ready. Here Goku, let me take your jacket."

The three walked into the house. Vegeta gasped, and immediately covered his mouth in shame. Adorning every surface of the walls hanged beautiful, lush paintings. They even varied in style: one piece over the fireplace was painted in the eccentric style of French impressionists. The large canvas over the door leading to the kitchen showcased an abstract expressionist piece. Enough paint sat on the surface to create an inch-high extrusion. There were watercolors and inkwash paintings, too.

"Where did you buy these?" Vegeta asked, bewildered.

Krillen grinned. "Marron made them all."

"Your daughter?!"

"Yep. She's quite the artist. She's not interested in painting anymore, though. She's big into jewelry and sculpting now."

Vegeta's mouth hung open.

"I told you his house was cool," Goku said. "Where is Marron anyway?"

"She's working in the basement. It's hard to drag her away from there."

Goku nodded, and pressed his palm into Vegeta's back to lead him into the dining room along with Krillen.

After sitting down at the dinner table, Vegeta marveled at the plates and utensils. They were all hand-crafted stoneware with brilliant designs burned into them. He picked up a water pitcher near the end of the table and tumbled it gently between his fingers. "This is exquisite."

"Thanks," Krillen said. "Marron made those too." Vegeta smiled in response and took pride in the surprise in Krillen's voice. Until this moment, he must have assumed the Price was a brute.

"Is the food going to be ready soon?" Goku whined.

Android 18 walked out of the kitchen carrying a huge pan of meat. "Looks like you made it just in time." Her dead-pan delivery threw Vegeta off guard. Her pale eyes glanced at him. She was judging him, but her expression stayed blank.

"Is that chicken tikka?!" Goku's eyes lit up like it was Christmas.

"Yes. I've got curry, rice, naan, and samosas, too." 18 walked back into the kitchen to retrieve the rest of the meal. Goku could barely contain himself as the mountains of food was spread across the table. It all looked lovely together with the stoneware too, Vegeta noticed. He wondered if cooking skills were programmed into Krillen's wife. That was probably too rude of a question for him to ask.

For a frightening moment, he saw himself in her. She was strong-willed and could physically overtake Krillen, but she happily cooked for him. Unlike himself, she didn't complain about it. Nothing about the way she carried herself hinted toward resentment at settling down. She'd found happiness in taking care of her family. Vegeta felt a pang of jealousy. How could all of this come so easily for her?

"This is delicious, 18!" Goku said with his mouth full. His chopsticks were a blur as he shoveled food into his mouth.

"Thanks." 18 took small, deliberate bites of her food. Krillen wasn't quite as disgusting as Goku, but he wasn't as modest as his wife when eating. Vegeta realized this experience  _could_  be classified as a double-date, and he felt ill.

"So Vegeta," Krillen said while putting his chopsticks down for a breather, "I guess you and Goku have been sparring a lot more often?"

"You could say that."

Goku choked, and made a big display out of smashing his chest to clear his airway.

"Sometimes we even spar several times a day."

"Whoa," Krillen said with genuine awe.

"Kakarot gets puckered out after the first two or three times, though. It's hard for him to keep up with me."

"Vegeta!" Goku bared his teeth.

"Yep, I thought that was the case." Krillen crossed his arms and nodded. "I've sensed major energy spikes from you two over the past few months. You two preparing for something?"

Goku blushed and looked everywhere except for Krillen's face. "Um, Vegeta lives with me now. So we do spar more often—"

"What!" Krillen and 18 yelped in unison. Goku blushed even harder at seeing 18's sudden interest in the conversation skyrocket.

"Vegeta moved in with me a few months ago." Vegeta watched Goku twiddle his thumbs under the table. He wasn't sure if he should jump in to make things easier. Perhaps this was Goku's battle to fight.

"Did…Bulma kick you out?" Krillen asked.

"No. I left of my own volition," Vegeta said.

"Why?" 18 asked. Vegeta had never seen the woman so excited! Her face was firmly planted in her palms and her mouth parted with bated breath.

"Well…Vegeta and I are a, uh, couple now."

18 gasped, absolutely scandalized. "No way!"

"Wh _aaaa_ t? Goku, what are you talking about? You aren't playing a joke on me, are you?" Krillen's lips curled in disgust.

"I'm being serious. I'm with Vegeta now." Goku's glib reaction was fading.

"Wait. Hold the phone. You're telling me you're…gay?" Krillen asked. "Gay with Vegeta, of all people?!"

"I guess so?"

"But you were with Chi-Chi for years!" Krillen said, wildly gesticulating with his hands. "How can you be gay?!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. He wanted to smack the little man. He'd never understand humans' fascination with restricting which holes get filled with what. "If you're truly Kakarot's friend, then you wouldn't be so cruel as to question his actions. He's happy now."

"But how could he be happy with—?" Krillen bit his tongue.

That hurt. Vegeta looked away, unsure if he even had a rebuttal.

"Krillen," Goku said with a particular tone rare outside of battle, "Vegeta is good for me."

"Maybe he's good for Bulma, but for you? He hurt so many of us, Goku! I know he's supposed to be on our side now, but I can't forget what he did when he first came here!  _And_  he's a guy! How could you—"

"I am sorry, Krillen."

Everyone paused to stare at Vegeta.

Krillen blinked. "Eh?"

"I said I am sorry. For hurting you. And your friends. I should have apologized a long time ago, but I never did." Vegeta looked them all in the face. "I was a different person then. I hope you can accept me for who I am now."

Silence. He had driven them to silence. Krillen and 18 looked shocked, but Goku looked...Vegeta couldn't put his finger on it. But his partner's gaze sent a chill over him.

"That's—wow. Thank you for that, Vegeta. I never knew you felt that way." Krillen quirked his mouth in confusion.

"Yes. I take care of Kakarot as well. So you shouldn't have any concerns about him being with me."

"Right." Krillen smiled. And narrowed his eyes.

Vegeta recognized that look…

"So who gets to be on bottom?"

Everyone fell over. 18 groaned and smacked the back of Krillen's skull. "You can't just go asking questions like that!"

"Ow! Why not!" Krillen rubbed the bump growing on his head. "I know you wanted to ask too!"

"Hmph. It's not hard to figure out. We all know Kakarot enjoys a good pounding."

Goku blushed and focused his attention on putting as much food as possible into his mouth. 18 looked back and forth between him and Vegeta with a mischievous glint in her eye. Vegeta wondered if all women fantasized about men having sex with each other, or if it was only Goku's friends.

The tension over the dinner table dissipated. Vegeta felt so smug; he no longer had to use Goku as an anchor for his place in the conversation. He could tell the big lout was bubbling with joy by the way his hand roamed over Vegeta's thigh under the table.

The words earlier spilled from his lips too easily. Should he be concerned? He didn't  _feel_  weak saying it. He definitely didn't feel humiliated. He just wanted to make Goku happy. And it worked.

Dinner continued with much more lax conversation. Krillen and 18 didn't speak to Vegeta much, but they were nice enough to humor him with a few more questions about his life. He and Krillen even made jokes about the traffic ticket the day before. Goku was predictably cheerful for the rest of the night, and went on to share stories of his childhood with Krillen.

Vegeta felt oddly at home.

After dinner and dessert, Goku pat his stomach. "That was great!" He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Yep!" Krillen relaxed into his own chair. 18 collected all of the dirty dishes and left to the kitchen without a word. Krillen narrowed his eyes again. "Hey, do you two want to smoke?"

"I didn't know you smoked," Goku said with a hint of judgment.

"Not cigarettes, Goku. I meant—"

"Maybe next time," Vegeta interrupted. He pulled himself and Goku away from the table. "It's getting late anyway."

"Right." Krillen walked them to the front door. "It was pretty fun, guys. I'll have to invite you over more often."

"For sure!" Goku hugged Krillen.

Vegeta looked away, hoping he'd be spared from any unwarranted physical contact. He stepped out the front door onto the porch. "I wouldn't mind coming over again."

"Thanks! Nice haircut, by the way," Krillen said in a smarmy tone. "Anyway, goodnight!" Krillen smiled and shut the door.

_That little bastard!_  He'd probably been staring at Vegeta's head the whole night, and he didn't even notice!

The two stood still, staring at one another. Vegeta sighed and rolled his shoulders. Dinner had been too nice to get upset over a little teasing. "That wasn't so ba—"

Goku pressed him against the wall. He buried his face in the crook of Vegeta's neck and sucked on the skin. "I love you," he murmured into his ear.

"Shit Kakarot, we still have to get home." Vegeta sighed as Goku squeezed his backside and pulled him flush against his body.

Goku moved his mouth to Vegeta's face to kiss him. "I can't wait that long."

The front door opened again. "Hey Goku, you forgot your ja…cket…" Krillen stared bug-eyed at the two men on his porch.

Goku took the jacket from Krillen and tied it around his neck. "Thanks," he said, breathy.

"We were just leaving. Thank you for dinner." Vegeta pulled Goku away from the front door. Luckily, Krillen closed the door without wasting any more of their time. Vegeta hoped the man wasn't too scarred.

Goku broke from Vegeta's grasp. "The backyard," he said.

The two rushed to Krillen's backyard patio. With the lights out it was nearly pitch black: perfect conditions for an illicit romp. Goku pushed Vegeta down on the grass and busied himself with unbuttoning Vegeta's shirt.

"What's gotten into you?" Vegeta shivered beneath Goku's warm body pressing into him.  _Three times in one day? He's improving._

"I didn't know you were going to apologize tonight." The unbuttoning took too long, so Goku tore Vegeta's shirt clean off. "I'm just—I can't keep my hands off of you after that." Goku slid his own shirt over his head and flung it into a nearby bush.

"I liked that shirt." The words betrayed the way Vegeta rubbed the inside of Goku's thighs.

"Uuuh, hi?" spoke a soft voice nearby.

Goku rolled off Vegeta and looked for the intruder. Standing a few yards away stood a blonde girl. Tied around her waist was a paint and oil-stained apron. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun.

"Hey, Marron!" Goku said, high-pitched. He stood and dusted himself off. "We didn't know you were standing there the whole time!"

"I just heard a bunch of noise out here and thought someone was getting hurt. I was wrong."

"Yup, we were just, uh—"

Marron held up her hand. "It's fine, Uncle Goku." She stared at Vegeta with her piercing blue eyes. "Is Vegeta my Uncle now too?"

"What—!" Vegeta scrambled up off the ground. He was grateful for the darkness; he'd never felt so ashamed in front of a child.

"Yeah, why not?" Goku laughed, "Uncle Vegeta sounds good to me."

"I'm not related to her at all!"

"What does that have to do with being an uncle?" Goku walked over to give the teenage girl a hug. She smiled but kept her eyes trained on Vegeta.

The Prince pretended he wasn't shirtless and sporting a huge hard-on. "I think we should get going."

"Wait," Marron said. "Do you guys want to check out my studio? I'm almost done with one project I've been working on."

"Sure!" Goku plucked his previously-flung shirt from the bushes and slid it back on. Vegeta tapped his foot, impatient to get home. He hated staying in one place for too long.

Marron ushered them both toward a cellar door outside. She led them down a winding staircase. At the foot of the stairs, Vegeta once again felt pure delight: the room was an artist's paradise. Hand-stretched canvases lined each wall. Paintbrushes, oil-stained cloths, turpentine, and paints were strewn about the floor. In one corner a large metal table was set up for sculpting and jewelry-crafting. Frightening pointy tools hung suspended above the table for easy access.

Vegeta slowly approached an abandoned watercolor painting propped against the wall. He ran his fingertips across the surface and adored the rough texture of the paint. "This is amazing," he murmured.

"Oh, do you like to paint?" Marron asked.

"No."

"I think it's fine. I'm not that interested in it anymore. I prefer to use my hands. Would you like to see the sculpture I've been working on?"

Vegeta nodded. She led both him and Goku toward the wooden table in the corner. Upon closer inspection, Vegeta saw metal sculpting tools covered most of the surface. She hefted a large clay sculpture up from the table and shoved it in their faces.

" _Ooo_ , this is pretty!" Goku touched the surface. Red residue rubbed off on his fingers. He gave Marron an apologetic look, but she didn't seem to mind.

Vegeta smirked. "It looks like a…"

"It's a replica of my friend's vagina," Marron stated.

Goku yelped and dropped the sculpture. Vegeta caught it before it hit the floor, and growled at Goku's idiocy. "You almost ruined it!"

"Sorry, but why would you ever make a vagina?!"

She blushed. "I thought it was beautiful. Please don't tell my dad you saw this."

Vegeta tilted his head and took a good look at her. Goku was too blithe to pick up on the secret she just revealed. The girl had the same cool attitude as her mother, but Vegeta could tell she was brilliant in a way maybe her father couldn't ever grasp. "It's impressive," he said.

"Wow, thanks!" Marron blushed.

Vegeta grinned again. The girl must have liked him a lot. She was twirling her hair now. "Have you been working on anything else?"

She nodded. "I have some  _prettier_  things I think Uncle Goku may like better. I guess it makes sense he wouldn't like looking at a vagina."

"That's not true!" Goku crossed his arms, but Vegeta saw the uncomfortable way Goku now shuffled his feet around.

Marron ignored him, and opened a large drawer beneath the table. Bright, shimmering light spilled from it and blinded Vegeta's vision before it corrected itself. Inside sat several pieces of jewelry.

"Oooh!" Goku leaned closer to the glowing light. "These are beautiful! And that one ring looks like it was made out of a dragon ball!"

"That's what the design is based on." Marron picked up a pair of emerald earrings that sparkled as if filled with a million microscopic diamonds. "I've done a lot of experimenting with different materials. This one is made of jade and smoked topaz." She gazed into Vegeta's eyes, and he felt as if she were searching for something hidden inside of him. It was too intense of a gaze to break. "Uncle Goku, don't you think Vegeta would look nice wearing these?"

Vegeta ground his teeth together. "I don't wear earrings!"  _Not after fusing_ , he thought.

Goku smiled at Marron. "You're right, he would look cute wearing those!"

"I'm a man, Kakarot. I'm not supposed to look cute."

"Huh? Earlier today you said  _I_  was cute. Is that a bad thing?"

Vegeta blushed. "I'm not piercing both my ears to make you happy."

"They're clip-ons. You can have them if you want." Marron took Vegeta's hand and shoved the earrings into his palm. "It can be my gift to you for becoming my new uncle."

Vegeta pocketed the jewelry. "Thank you."

Goku opened his mouth. He saw the horrible expression on Vegeta's face and looked as if he changed his mind. "Marron, this is really amazing. Can I have one too?"

"Hmm." She stared at her jewelry showcase. "If you like them so much, how about I make something custom for you?"

"That'd be awesome!"

She smiled. "Great. I'll talk to you later about it if you want." Unceremoniously, she slammed the drawer shut. "I should get some homework done before bed, so I've got to go."

"No problem." Goku led the way back up the stairs and out the cellar door. He and Vegeta rose into the air. He hovered above Marron and saluted her. "See ya!"

Marron waved. "Goodnight Uncle Goku and Uncle Vegeta!"

The couple blasted away. Goku spend the whole trip smiling at Vegeta, who kept his own eyes trained on the horizon away from the city. Once they were flying above the lush forest near Goku's home, he finally opened his mouth. "Marron really respects you, Vegeta."

"Hmph."

"Would you ever want to do stuff like that? Make art?"

"No."

They both landed on Goku's doorstep at the same time. Goku unlocked the door and stepped into the living room.

"Hey Dad!" Goten waved from the couch. On the opposite end sat Trunks. Vegeta sighed in relief when he saw they were both fully clothed.

"Oh, are you two on a da….a uh, watchin' a movie?" Goku asked.

"We just finished," Trunks said. He gathered his backpack and jacket from the couch. "And I was just about the leave." Trunks avoided looking Vegeta right in the eye.

"I need to talk to you outside." Vegeta turned on his heel and walked back out the front door. The sensation of Goku staring daggers into his back annoyed him slightly, but what could he do? Just ignore the fact his son was in puppy love with Goku's spawn? He felt Trunk's energy spike for a brief moment as if he wanted to fight. But the boy knew better than to test him.

"Okay, Dad." Trunks shrugged his backpack onto his shoulder and followed Vegeta outside to the front lawn.

Vegeta floated to the roof of the house and landed gracefully on the brick eaves. Trunks sidled up next to him and pulled his knees to his chest. A deep sigh escaped from his chapped lips. It was cold. Vegeta closed his eyes. His son was shivering ever so slightly. Did the boy feel guilty?

"Are you in a relationship with Kakarot's son?"

Trunks dug his fingernails into his kneecaps. "No."

"But you have feelings for him."

"No!" Trunks was red-faced now, but out of frustration. "I just like him as a friend, okay? We were just foolin' around before. I'm interested in this other girl, anyway."

Vegeta rubbed the growing pain in between his eyes. "You're in love with him."

"No, I'm not!"

"I know you like the back of my hand. You're not interested in those simple Earth girls. Don't challenge me on this."

That shut the kid up. He stared wide-eyed at Vegeta, uncertain words on the tip of his tongue. "I don't know why you're getting on my case. You never asked me or Mom what we thought about you living with Goku. I knew it was none of my business. So don't get all up in  _my_  business, okay?"

"How dare you!" Vegeta narrowed his eyes and pressed himself closer to Trunks. "You are a child. Remember that. You do not have say over what I do with my life."

Trunks smashed his fist flat against the roof. Stone scattered from the impact and trickled down to fall behind the house. "I just don't get why you're pissed at me when you're doing the same thing!"

"I don't let Kakarot get under my skin. You, on the other hand, will let Goten walk all over you if he wishes it so." Vegeta clenched his fists together, and Trunks recoiled in anticipation of getting hit. "If nothing else, you must keep your dominance."

"I don't get what you mean at all, Dad."

"Trunks. I have to tell you about the Saiyan mating ritual."

The boy wrinkled his nose. "Saiyan  _what_?"

* * *

What the hell was Vegeta doing out there for so long? Goku was curled up on the couch next to Goten. A scary late-night movie was on, but Goku's thoughts were miles away. He'd promised Goten he'd protect Trunks from Vegeta's wrath. The loud thump he heard on the roof earlier tempted him to run outside and see what was going on, but no other noise had followed it up. Maybe if Trunks came back in looking upset, he'd have a few words with Vegeta.

The front door opened again. Goten jumped in fright. "You scared me!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. Next to him stood Trunks, who looked…embarrassed? He was blushing.

"I'm heading home. Goodnight Goku. Goodnight Goten." Trunks avoided looking directly into Goten's eyes. He turned on his heel and ran out the door.

"Bye!" Goten waved, but Trunks was already gone.

"You weren't too mean to him, were you, 'Geta?"

"I told him what he needed to hear." Vegeta walked to the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

"Dad, why did Vegeta get a haircut?"

"I have no idea, son." Goku pat Goten's head and followed Vegeta into the bedroom.

When Goku walked in, what remained of Vegeta's clothes were littered across the floor. The sound of an electric toothbrush buzzing emanated from the bathroom. Goku sighed. He pulled off his boots and flung his clothes into the same pile as Vegeta's. The bed called for him, but he knew Vegeta would be pissed if he dozed off without brushing his own teeth.

He opened the bathroom door. Vegeta screeched. "Get out!"

"Why—?" Goku looked up and saw Vegeta was brushing his teeth while sitting on the toilet. "Oh, that's weird."

"I said get out of here!" Toothpaste spittle flew from Vegeta's mouth. "I told you this before: I don't want you in here when I'm shitting!"

"I don't get what the big deal is!" Goku picked up his own toothbrush, squeezed paste on it, and shoved it into his mouth. "You act as if I didn't eat your ass today. Do you think this is worse than that?"

"Fuck you!" Vegeta screamed through the foamy mess in his mouth.

Goku leaned against the sink to make himself comfortable while brushing. "You sure are sensitive."

"Can't I get  _one fucking minute_ to take a fucking  _dump_  in this hellhole?"

Goku spat into the sink. "Whatever." He walked back into the bedroom, turned the lights off, and slid into bed.  _Vegeta does deserve to have his own throne to sit on_ , Goku thought.

A minute later, Vegeta stomped into the bedroom. He pulled all of the bedsheets away from Goku and wrapped himself into an impenetrable blanket burrito. "Fuck you Kakarot. I'm going to sleep like a king tonight."

"Vegeta!" Goku pulled on the sheets in a sad attempt to untangle the smaller Saiyan. But Vegeta rolled over so the blanket burrito's effectiveness couldn't be compromised. Goku climbed on top of him, and screamed in his face. "I need the sheets or I'm going to get cold!"

"I don't care. Get off of me!"

"I'm going to push you off the bed if you don't give the sheets back!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Goku flung Vegeta clear off the bed. The blanket burrito crashed against the wall and Vegeta landed in a heap. "You buffoon, you could have hurt me!"

Goku fell on top of Vegeta and smushed his face into the carpet. Vegeta bucked wildly to knock Goku off his back. Goku's hands roamed and massaged him through the layers of sheets. Goku nuzzled the back of his neck. "I'd never hurt you," he whispered.

"Mmm." Vegeta let the calm wash over him. "Then does that mean I don't have to apologize to any more of your friends?"

"Nah. You should still apologize to the rest."

"Ugh. How many more?"

"How about…Piccolo, Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu?"

"That'll take all day. Anyone else you want me to grovel to?"

"Oh wow, you'd apologize to everyone?" Goku counted his fingers. "Might as well talk to Master Roshi and Gohan, too. Oh yeah, and Bulma."

"Bulma doesn't give a shit."

Goku laughed. He pulled Vegeta closer to his chest and purred. "You being this nice really turns me on."

"You freak. I bet you'd screw me right through these sheets."

"Good idea." Goku braced himself, and humped Vegeta's back.

"Yes, fuck me Kakarot! Really give it to me!"

"You feel so good," Goku yelled, "And so soft!"

Vegeta snickered, even with his face getting carpet burn from rubbing against the floor. "Fuck me harder!"

"Yes! Yes! Oh gods!"

"Is my ass tight?"

" _So_  tight, baby."

* * *

Goten shoved two orange plugs deep into both his ear canals. He wished his father would give him one night off to get a good night's rest. Or at least a warning signal before him and Vegeta would go at it every night. Months ago it really freaked him out, but now he was one step away from stomping on the floor to get them to shut-up.

"Veg _eeee_ ta, I'm coming!"

Goten pulled his pillow over his head. That seemed to do the trick for now.


	7. Part Seven

Vegeta settled on flying across the ocean to Kame House first.

The thought of meeting one of Goku's weirdo friends alone was certainly strange. Had he ever visited Master Roshi on his own? Had he ever spoken directly to the man at a party? He couldn't remember, and if he ever did, it wasn't memorable. It occurred to him Roshi had been Goku's master; before today it never crossed his mind to pick the geezer's brain. Bulma did a good job at pigeonholing Roshi into the category of pervert, and nothing else.

Over the ocean's horizon, he spotted the garish pink house and the tiny island it inhabited. He sensed three energy levels.  _Fuck_. Who else did he have to deal with today? He focused harder on the smaller ones and concluded they were minuscule. Must be the weird pig man and decrepit turtle pet Roshi kept.  _What were their names again?_

Vegeta settled gently on the beach sand. The dull sound of a television set bled from an open window. He walked to the front door, and hesitated before knocking. How would he announce himself? Pretend he was just visiting, and casually bring up the apology? Or should he just apologize and fly away immediately so he didn't have to suffer through the embarrassment longer than necessary? How did Goku exactly want him to do this?

Oolong saved him the trouble of standing on the porch any longer by opening the door. He reeled backwards and almost lost his footing. "What are  _you_  doing here?" He leaned to look over Vegeta's shoulder. "Are you here with Bulma? Or Goku?"

"No. I came alone." Vegeta opened the door the rest of the way and let himself in. He ignored Oolong's violent shaking and walked into the living room. Stacked atop two milk carton cases sat a small TV, and planted in front of it sat Master Roshi. The old man chuckled under his breath. In his right hand he clenched a handkerchief and occasionally dabbed his sweaty forehead clean of its sheen. On the TV screen was a woman bobbing a Shake Weight up and down between her hands. She was giving an invisible man a fantastic hand-job.

"Keep shakin' that weight, baby!" Master Roshi giggled.

 _What the hell? Is this what he does all day?_  Vegeta made himself comfortable on the couch. He could wait this out.

"Oolong, get our guest a drink," Roshi said. His eyes stayed glued to the television screen.

"I'm not a maid," Oolong grumbled. He dragged himself to the kitchen.

"Do you really find _this_  entertaining?" Vegeta asked. He crossed both his arms and legs.

"These lady aerobics just get better and better as the years go on!"

"You watch this…like it's pornography."

Roshi leaned back, and finally turned his attention to Vegeta. He turned off the TV. "I thought I'd give you some time before you apologized, but we can get right to it if you want."

Vegeta perked up. "Who told you I was giving an apology?"

"I read your mind."

Oolong walked back into the living room. He handed off a glass of dark beer to Roshi and Vegeta, and rushed out of the room. "I'm, ah, going to let you and His Highness talk alone."

"Old man," Vegeta said while pointing at Roshi, "repeat what you said to me before."

"You heard me. I read your mind. You're here to apologize for all of the evil things you've done." Roshi smiled. "I'm not some dumb old coot, ya know!"

Vegeta opened his mouth. He wasn't sure how to respond.

"Come outside with me." Roshi walked out of the living room without giving Vegeta another glance.

Outside, it was still early and the weather was pleasant: the gentle breeze made the sun bearing down on them tolerable. Roshi flopped down on one of the lawn chairs in the grass. He leaned back in his seat and stared at the clouds rolling above. He held his silence.

Vegeta planted himself in the opposite chair. He pulled a cigarette out of his breast pocket, lit it, and took a drag. The silent, sage-like nature of the old man threw him off guard. Was he being mocked? He took a sip of his beer.  _Predictably disgusting._ He downed half the glass before Roshi finally spoke up.

"You're an unhappy man, aren't you?"

"Am I? Is that what you saw when you read my mind?" Vegeta chuckled. He wanted the lazily wafting smoke from his cigarette to tear his attention away from how vulnerable he really felt.

"Yep. You have lots of secrets I can't quite get to, but if you let me look maybe I can help you out."

"Fool. You don't know anything about me. I just came to take care of something Kakarot forced me to do."

"There are certainly a lot of thoughts about Goku swirling around in that head of yours. But they're not antagonistic. That's odd."

Right. He didn't know. "If I let  _you_  read my mind, will you let  _me_  end this little visit early?"

"There are no shortcuts to doing this, Vegeta." Vegeta raised his brows at hearing the man finally speak his name. "I would just ask you why you're really here, but I know you wouldn't tell me the truth."

"Fine. Go ahead then. Read my mind if you're so wise." He smirked. "I didn't think I'd find entertainment on this little island. I'm actually excited to see what you find out about me."

"I'm not joking around. You may hear and see some things you don't like."

"Don't worry. I'm a big boy. You won't hurt my feelings."

Roshi nodded. Minutes passed. Vegeta found himself tapping his knee with impatience. He sipped down more of the bitter beer.

He gasped and jolted in his chair.  _Something_  was inside of him…prying. Recent memories roused in his conscious. He closed his eyes again to focus on this new feeling of invasion. There was no doubting it now—Roshi was browsing through his memories and feelings with little impunity. His presence was foreign inside of his mind, like a pair of hands flipping through private documents always kept hidden from daylight.

"Stop—!" Vegeta clenched the arms of his chair. He breathed in and out, hyperventilating…

"Just relax and let me in." Roshi's voice was mesmerizing.

The first thing he pried into were Vegeta's feelings about Goku. On the surface was the sex. Goku with his eyes closed, covered in sweat, moaning. Goku holding onto Vegeta as he thrust into him. Goku thrashing around on bedsheets.

"Yikes!" Roshi's probing fingers in his mind recoiled at these strong images.

"You weren't expecting that, were you, old man."

"Wow! I didn't know Goku…I knew he was a queer one, but not literally…Hmm, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense…"

Vegeta relaxed a little, and gave Roshi more freedom to look at  _these_  memories. It was delicious schadenfreude to make him uncomfortable. Roshi leered at one memory of Vegeta bending Goku over the kitchen table and railing him from behind. Distinct sounds and smells were there, too. The sound of nails scraping against wood. Goku murmuring nonsense. Goku's distinct scent clinging to Vegeta's hot skin.

"Kakarot is a great fuck, isn't he?" Vegeta laughed.

Roshi ignored him and dug deeper into the memory. He drudged up Vegeta's emotions at the time. Pleasure appeared at the very top, along with pride. Beneath that, lay awe and respect for Goku's body, always willing to take every inch of him hungrily. "This is pretty interesting," Roshi said softly.

Vegeta panicked. Roshi sieved though the rest of his feelings in the memory like sand.

Desperation for Goku's approval was there.  _Kakarot, I hope you're enjoying this._

There was pity as well.  _Kakarot, did your wife ever make you feel this good?_

Worry.  _I hope I'm not hurting you and you just never mention it._

Fear.  _No one's ever made me feel this good, Kakarot._

And finally, Roshi found what he was looking for:  _I love you, I love you, I love you—_

"Please don't." It made Vegeta sick to beg, but this was too much.

"I can stop if you want. But we have to keep going if you want me to help you."

 _What do I need help with!_ Vegeta felt the urge to strangle Roshi rising within. He knew he didn't have to speak up to make his feelings known.

"Inside you're like a storm. Don't you want to know why?"

Vegeta grumbled. He sucked down the rest of his beer. "I can't sit here and let you humiliate me."

"You've got bigger problems, kid!" Roshi cackled.

Vegeta clenched his eyes shut tighter, and allowed Roshi deeper into his subconscious.

Underneath all the sex lay stupid, saccharine memories. Goku crinkling his nose in a cute way before sneezing. Goku sleeping and looking peaceful. Goku waking up and looking happy to see Vegeta. Goku watching a movie and tearing up.

"I knew I could find something in here that wouldn't scare the bejeezus out of me," Roshi said.

After that, the geezer lost interest in Goku. Something about Vegeta's childhood piqued his interest. Free of judgment, he delved into Vegeta's memories of growing up under Frieza's rule. The memories appeared and expanded, rapid-fire like an attack. Vegeta was furious at being exposed in this way, and wanted to get through it as quick as possible.

It was all clear as day.

At 12 years old, Vegeta and Raditz raze a planet to the ground. Vegeta licks the blood of the innocent from Raditz's face.

Vegeta is 15 years old now, and is having sex for the first time with Raditz on an empty planet. Vegeta is asked by Raditz to mate, and Vegeta laughs in his face like he heard a joke.

Vegeta is 19, so high from taking drugs from a conquered planet he gets lost in a solar system for a week straight. Nappa finds him, and lies to Frieza about why his elite soldier was M.I.A. Vegeta listens to Frieza talk about Saiyans like backwater scum.

Vegeta is 20 years old and wants to die; he contemplates the easiest way to kill himself in space. No one would miss him.

Vegeta approaches Frieza's chambers late one night. Frieza already knows Vegeta is there, and invites him inside to—

"Enough." Vegeta closed this particular part of his memories off to Roshi. "You do not need to know any more about me."

"What happened that night with Frieza?"

"Nothing."

"This is your most guarded secret." Roshi attempted to look at the hidden memory again, but failed.

The words falling out of Vegeta's mouth sounded like they belonged to a stranger. "I don't want Kakarot to know this about me."

"Why not?"

"Nnng…" Vegeta grit his teeth and unlocked the door to the memory.

Coldness. That's the first thing Vegeta remembered about that night years ago. The air was frigid.

Frieza was sitting on his bed. Vegeta had come looking for him, angry. Frieza laughs at him. "What do you want from me so late at night?"

Vegeta doesn't speak a word.

Frieza laughs again. "Do you need me to give you a little nightcap, monkey boy?"

Vegeta doesn't want to leave. This is the most shameful part of the memory. The choice is open to him. He could walk away now and pretend like none of this happened. Frieza would make fun of him later, but he'd get over it.

Instead, he walks to the bed and climbs onto the sheets. It's not like a normal bed, he notes. It's more like a bed made for dogs. Frieza takes all of his clothes off. He strokes Vegeta's tail while sticking his tongue down his throat. Vegeta could still leave, but he chooses not to.

"Sing for me, Prince Vegeta," Frieza says in a low purr. Vegeta happily obliges as Frieza enters him and pins him to the bed with heavy thrusts.  _This is worse than being a whore_ , he thinks in the fog of ecstasy,  _Whores at least get paid._

Right at the brink of exhaustion, Frieza kicks him out of bed. Frieza's purple mouth curls into a wicked snarl. "I hope you don't expect preferential treatment."

Vegeta shakes his head no. Coloring the whole memory is a complicated emotion bred from years of looking at it from different angles. Roshi tries to parse it. "So Frieza  _did_  give you special treatment after that night?"

"He did. Until he heard I was looking for the dragon balls."

"Would you say he—?"

"No. I enjoyed every minute of it."

"Hmm," was all Roshi said as judgment. "Give me a second here."

Roshi focused on a strong feeling buried even deeper in Vegeta's subconscious. "Under the Frieza memory is a strange emotion. It's about Goku," he said. "It's complicated for me to figure out."

Vegeta dug his fingernails into the armrest.

"Goku isn't like Frieza, you know."

"I know that!" Vegeta was on the verge of screaming. "I would never equate Kakarot with that foul beast."

"So why do you associate them both in your mind?"

"Kakarot doesn't know what I was like when I was a kid." Vegeta opened and closed his fists, his thoughts on the tip of his tongue. "If he ever knew…"

Roshi scratched his bald head. "There's something else here. Did you know you had a curse?"

"A curse? What do you mean?"

"Someone set a curse on you. It's disrupting the balance of your ki."

Vegeta thought back. "My father said something about a curse once, but I took it as mindless babbling."

"You should take it seriously. I don't know how to break it, but I imagine it has something to do with Goku. You should talk to him about it."

Instinctively, Vegeta ran his fingers through his short hair. "Maybe."

Roshi's power over Vegeta's mind faded. The two sat in silence on the beach. Roshi sipped on his beer, humming happily to himself.

"I am sorry for what I did when I first came to this planet," Vegeta said.

"Mmm-hmm. I can tell you mean it now! Goku must have done a real number on you." Roshi paused. "I forgive you. You're not the first man I've met to change his ways. Well done."

Vegeta rose from his chair. "PIG MAN!" he screamed.

Oolong peeped his head out the door of Kame House. The front of his pants were stained. "Yes?"

"I apologize for ever scaring you! And for killing your friends!"

Oolong shook violently. "Uh, thanks!" He ran back inside.

Vegeta nodded. He poised himself to fly away.

"Wait!" Roshi pointed at Vegeta's right hand. "You know better than to smoke those things."

"Hng. Bite me." Vegeta blasted off into the sky, savoring the warm sun on his back.

* * *

Goku groaned. "Bulma, this is hard." He lounged outside on the Capsule Corp lawn under a giant canopy with Bulma.

She sipped on her martini. It was only mid-afternoon, but she was halfway to being white girl wasted. "What's the matter? Is it with the list?"

"Yeah." Goku looked up at the sky and admired the clouds. "I don't think I can stop myself from doing the "number one" on my list again."

"Let me read it?" she asked with a slight slur.

Goku quirked his brow. "Don't you think it's too early in the day to be drinking?"

"It's never too early to get crunk, Goku. Cough up the list."

He rummaged in his jean pocket. "Here ya go."

"Okay, let's take a look. Oh, wow!" Bulma bit her lip to hold back a wide grin. "Vegeta did  _this_ with you the other day?"

Goku scratched the back of his head. "Uh-huh. We didn't go the whole way, though."

"Wow." She scanned her eyes over the rest of the list. "The first thing you want him to do is pretty harsh. Do you really think he'll apologize to all of our friends?"

"He's doing it right now."

"No way!" She slapped Goku's shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Shut-up! He is  _not_  apologizing. Do you expect me to believe he's just flyin' around the world," she said, spilling some of her drink, "apologizing to people?" She cackled and put on her best Vegeta impression. "I'm so sorry for killing you, Yamcha! Let's be BFFs!"

Goku shyly ran his fingers through his hair. "He apologized to Krillen last night when we were over at his place for dinner. I couldn't believe it either."

"Wow. That's…incredible." She sipped on her drink and stared off into the distance. "The Prince of all Saiyans is still full of surprises. I never would've guessed."

Goku grinned. He wasn't going to rub it in Bulma's face, but never in a million years could she get Vegeta to do _this_ for her. "I think he's going to be really proud of himself once he's done, too. It's hard to not jump him again."

"You gotta stay focused, Goku! Now's not the time to get soft on him. Trust me, once you drag him through the mud a little bit, he's going to be on his hands and knees begging for your cock."

"Bulma!" Goku gasped at her language.

"Sooo, let's look at the next thing on your list." She scanned the piece of paper again, and frowned. "The next thing you want to do is…take him out on a date?"

"Yep!"

"Goku…that doesn't count. Vegeta loves being wined and dined."

"Maybe by you."

Bulma's forehead creased. "Oh…I get it! There's no way he would let a man take him out on the town!"

"Exactly. I want it to be a real date. I want to pick him up and everything." Goku's eyes glimmered as he got carried away with the fantasy. "I want us to dress up, and I want us to hold hands. I want to show him the world!"

"Slow your roll, Princess Jasmine." Bulma finished off her drink. "I'm already starting to see how much he's gonna hate this."

Goku rubbed his hands together. He didn't want to tell Bulma his real motivation behind the date. Not just yet. "Maybe he'll like it by the end. Who knows? If he agrees to it, I'll know he's really trying his best."

"Oh, Goku. So sweet and innocent. If I were you, I'd make Vegeta do something fucked up. Like get a job or something." She placed her hand on her chin, thinking. "Oh my gosh! I can help him get ready for the date! That way you can come over here to pick him up!"

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Of course." Bulma winked. "You are my best friend, after all, and we girls gotta stick together."

Goku blushed and hoped that was just the alcohol talking.

* * *

All Vegeta knew about Yamcha was that he lived in a flat in West City. Goku gave him the address, so it wasn't too difficult to find. After arriving, he saw the neighborhood was much more metropolitan than Krillen's modest home in the suburbs. Yamcha's flat was on the second floor of a luxurious apartment complex. Vegeta walked up the flight of stairs, wondering how the hell he was supposed to greet the man.

Vegeta felt heat rising to his face. He knew very little about the fighter. Bulma spent years with the human, but barely mentioned him over the course of their own relationship. To Vegeta, he was just the goofy dude that banged Bulma until she got an upgrade.

In contrast, Goku held a lot of respect for Yamcha and always said good things about him whenever the topic came up. It wasn't until a month ago he even discovered Yamcha was a desert bandit as a teenager.

He pressed the buzzer next to Yamcha's door. The door opened. "'Bout time that pizza…oh, HEY!"

Vegeta stepped back. "You're not wearing any pants."

Yamcha stood before Vegeta completely nude. Only the guitar he clutched between his hands separated the air between them. "Whoops! Well, you can come in while I get some clothes on."

Vegeta stared at Yamcha's receding backside, and followed him into the flat. It was impressive—the farthest west wall was made of glass, and he could see the beautiful sound just outside of the city. Sunlight sparkled on the water in the far distance. Vegeta eyed the glass cases in the rest of the apartment. Gold baseball trophies were proudly displayed in each corner.  _Not a bad place for a bachelor. Where does he hide the blue cat?_

Yamcha came back into the living room wearing only a pair of sweatpants. "Make yourself comfortable on the couch. Do you want me to make you a drink?"

 _This is weird_. "Okay," Vegeta said.

"What do you like?"

 _Why is he so goddamn cheerful?_ "I don't care."

"Rum and coke it is!" Yamcha walked to the kitchen and busied himself with mixing the drink. "So, why'd you stop by? Just wanted to hang out or something?"

 _The fuck?_  "Hang out? No. Kakarot wanted me to tell you something."

"Oh, Goku? How is he these days?"

"We're living together. And we're in a relationship."

Yamcha sputtered. "Really? Whoa." He stared blankly out the window. "So you're not with Bulma anymore?"

"No." Vegeta tilted his head and studied Yamcha's facial expression for his reaction.

"That's…too bad."

"Everything was mutual." Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "You aren't upset at learning Kakarot likes men?"

"It  _is_  pretty weird." Yamcha stirred the drink in his hand but kept his eyes staring blankly out the window. "But it doesn't surprise me much. He was never into chicks."

"Funny. That's what the Turtle Hermit said as well."

Yamcha shook his head. He walked back to the couch and handed the drink off to Vegeta. "You visited Master Roshi?"

"Just now." Vegeta swirled the drink around, and took a sip. Something about being here…was off. Yamcha sat down across from him with a drink of his own. "I went to apologize to him."

"For what?"

"For creating so much chaos when I first arrived." Vegeta stared at Yamcha over the rim of his glass. The larger man was sizing him up. Why? "I want to apologize to you, too. You know, about the Saibamen…"

"Oh! Yeah, that was pretty shitty." He laughed heartily and rest his feet on the ottoman between them. He flipped Vegeta off. "I accept your apology, but only if I get to give you a big  _fuck you_."

"That's fair."

"You  _have_  changed." Yamcha downed the rest of his drink. "How about I play some music?" He sauntered to the opposite end of the room, and turned on his large stereo system. Mellow classic rock bled from the hi-def speakers.

"For a moment I thought you were going to play a song on your guitar."

"On this?" Yamcha picked up the acoustic guitar from earlier. "I'm just starting to learn. Trust me, you don't want to hear me chicken-peck at a bunch of strings."

"Hand it over."

Yamcha gently lay the guitar in Vegeta's lap, and sat back down on the couch next to him. Experimentally, Vegeta strummed the guitar strings. He played a melody. After a few minutes, his fingers slipped and he gave up. He blushed and looked over at Yamcha's gaping mouth.

"I didn't know you liked to play guitar!"

"I don't." Vegeta set the instrument down. "It reminded me of an instrument from my youth. That's all."

"You should take lessons." Yamcha raised his left arm and slung it across the back of the couch. Near Vegeta's shoulders. "If not for an instrument, maybe for something else. It's important to have a hobby to distract you sometimes."

Vegeta grunted. The lyrics from the song playing on the stereo messed with Vegeta's thoughts, swaying his emotions in a way he couldn't quite pinpoint.

_Another year and then you'd be happy…Just one more year and then you'd be happy…But you're cryin', you're crying' now…_

"Do you want another drink?"

"Sure."

Vegeta didn't remember Yamcha getting up and making more drinks. But when he blinked again, Yamcha's thigh was flush against his own and his arm around him again.

He heard his heart beating. Reflexively, he patted the front of his jacket. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"No."

Vegeta lit a cigarette and took the longest drag in the world. Yamcha slid it out of his hand, and took a long smoke himself.

Up close, Yamcha was very handsome. The scar on his face was the only thing that marred his looks. In his youth he was probably a pretty boy. Bulma had mentioned him having a fan club while they were still dating.

This drink…tasted stronger than the last one.

Yamcha licked his lips. "What do you and Goku do every day? Spar?"

"Yes. Among other things."

"What other things?"

"We fuck."

Yamcha broke the tension with another laugh. He got up and grabbed the bottle of Coke and Bacardi from the kitchen counter. "What's that like?"

"Sex with Kakarot? Like everything else he does, he gives it his all." Vegeta focused on his cigarette and watched his hand tremble.

Yamcha sat down again. He refilled their glasses. "Does he have a big dick?"

"I don't kiss and tell."

"Then what about you?"

Vegeta downed the new drink. He positioned himself so he stared directly into Yamcha's eyes. Yamcha didn't shy away from the stare. In fact, he pressed himself close enough to Vegeta for the Prince to feel his breath on his cheek. Yamcha's large hand trailed up Vegeta's knee until it reached the inside of his thigh.

Vegeta exhaled. "I don't think you'll be finding out today." He stood up. Dizzy. "I should leave now. I've still got to visit the rest of your stupid friends before the day ends."

Yamcha giggled uncontrollably. "Of course!"

* * *

Goku bounced up and down on his heels. He hoped showing up at the high school wasn't too creepy, but he didn't have much time to waste!

At 3:50PM, a bell rung across the small campus. Teenagers fled from the building as if let out of prison. Goku felt their eyes judge him as they walked past. A group of girls pointed at him and burst into a fit of giggles. He was out of his element. How different would he be if he'd spent his youth in school instead of training? He always felt Gohan was too exceptional to waste away in a classroom, regardless of whether the world needed saving. Good thing that in the end, his oldest son loved being a nerd.

"Uncle Goku?" Marron's blue eyes were wide as she walked toward him.

"Ay, kiddo!" He pulled her until a hug and spun her around in the air.

She held onto her straw hat, laughing. "What're you doing here?"

"I have a favor to ask." Goku set her back down on Earth. He ignored all the kids now gawking at them both. "I was wondering if you could make a ring for me."

"For Uncle Vegeta?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"I had a feeling you wanted to give him a gift." She pulled a small sketchbook from the pocket of her dress. "Do you need an engagement ring?"

Goku fell over. "I'm not proposing to him! I just want to give him something special, you know?"

"R _iii_ ght. What do you want the ring to look like?"

"Oof, I have no idea. I'm not good at that kind of thing."

"Hmm…" She drew a few sketches on her paper. "I have an idea, but I'll need your help. Do you think you can gather the dragon balls for me?"

Goku's face darkened. "What are you going to wish for?"

"Let's walk and talk." She grabbed his hand and dragged him along the sidewalk.

* * *

Two cartons of cigarettes later, Vegeta finally finished his task. He'd traveled the whole world apologizing to Goku's dumb friends. To each and every one, he'd explained how they were in a relationship as well. The three-eyed fuck and his clown child were shocked. Gohan was flattered, but too busy with his daughter to pay him close attention. Piccolo had been particularly nasty, and accused him of taking advantage of Goku's good will. He wanted to smash the Namekian through his stupid green head. But that would have been an inappropriate way to end his day of atonement, so he stuck with giving Piccolo the tried-and-true middle finger before flying off.

It was nighttime. His arrival at Goku's house was far from elegant. After landing, he stumbled on the lawn and smashed his shoulder into a rock in the front yard. "Shit." He stood and dusted himself off.  _One too many drinks at Yamcha's._

"Vegeta!" Goku ran outside of the house, smiling. He hugged Vegeta's middle and pulled him close to his chest. "I missed you!"

"I did it," Vegeta said, catching his breath. "I apologized to every single one of those cretins."

"You're so sweet." Goku gazed down at Vegeta's face. His smile faded quickly, and Vegeta felt his stomach drop. "You smell funny."

"I've been traipsing all over the planet today." Vegeta beelined toward the front door and walked inside. He tripped over the welcome mat, and steadied himself by catching onto the door knob. Grumbling, he walked over to the living room couch and collapsed.

"Are you drunk?" Vegeta heard the front door close behind him. He closed his eyes and waited for Goku to join him on the couch. But his partner just stood near the door, sniffing the air. "You smell like alcohol."

 _Fuck. "_ I had a few drinks while over at Yamcha's apartment. It's not a big deal."

Goku ignored him and kept sniffing the air. "You smell like him. A lot."

 _What is he, a fucking dog?_ "So what?"

"Vegeta." Never had he heard his name spoken so intently. Goku knew him too well. He didn't even have ask what the problem was. The question hung in the air between them like a bad stench.

"He came onto me. But I turned him down."

He opened his eyes, and was met with Goku's furious gaze set upon him. Vegeta felt tiny. Goku bit his lip, deep in thought. "How close did he get to you?"

"He touched my leg. That's all. I assure you, it was nothing."

The unbridled anger in Goku's face transformed into confusion. "You smell like smoke, too."

Vegeta groaned. Did he really have to deal with all of this right  _now_? After getting mind-fucked by Roshi, then felt up by Bulma's ex-boyfriend? "Fine. I've been hiding a secret from you, Kakarot. I smoke cigarettes." He pulled the empty pack from his jacket pocket and waved it in front of his face. "I've been bad. I'm sorry."

Finally, Goku joined Vegeta on the couch. "You could have told me."

"Does this mean I have to stop now?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ugh." Vegeta rolled over. Nausea rolled through his stomach. "You really know how to take the fun out of life."

Goku scoot closer. "Is that all Yamcha did to you? Touch your leg?"

"I wouldn't lie about that. I promise." Vegeta stared at Goku upside-down. "But what about poor  _me_? I'm the one who got harassed while proving my loyalty to you."

"Ha. I bet you liked the attention." Goku's voice was less on edge, and for that Vegeta was grateful. "Hey, do you think I should pay him a visit?"

"What do you mean? Do you want to go beat him up?"

Goku laughed and scratched his head. "Kinda!"

Vegeta stared at the ceiling. He felt…flattered? His Goku was so devout, he'd pummel one of his childhood friends just for catching a hard-on around his Prince. "You'd really beat the shit out of Yamcha for me?"

"I would scare him," Goku said, deadpan.

"I'm thrilled you're loyal to your prince."

Goku smiled. "I've got a surprise for you."

"Oh? I hope it's a reward for all of my hard work today."

"Maybe so. Why don't you take a look in the mirror?"

Vegeta flew off the couch. He staggered into the hallway bathroom and flipped the light switch on.

His hair was much longer! Using his fingers, he combed through the locks. It was half his normal length. "What the actual fuck is going on?"

"Maybe being good makes your hair grow back!" Goku yelled from the next room.

Vegeta grasped both sides of the bathroom sink. He frowned at his reflection. "Bullshit."


	8. Part Eight

_Fucking Yamcha. What a piece of shit._ Goku had never felt this angry before eating breakfast. Vegeta stood at the stove cooking for him and Goten, a cheerful hum under his breath. The Prince's mood was uncharacteristically chipper, which made Goku even more irritated. Goku was supposed to feel happy too, dammit! Tonight he planned to surprise Vegeta with their big date, but all he could focus on was how Yamcha put the moves on  _his_ Vegeta. Had the man no respect for Goku after all these years? Did he think he could just get away with what he did? Goku didn't even know Yamcha liked men, but the reveal didn't matter. He'd touched what was his, and now he had to pay.

Vegeta didn't know what Goku was capable of doing. The Prince truly underestimated how serious Goku took their relationship, and how far he'd go to defend it. Maybe he  _should_  give the bastard a visit this morning, just to clear his head. Put the fear of Kami in him. That'll show him not to fuck with a Son.

"Kakarot, why are you growling at your food?"

Goku blinked and looked down at his plate. Before him sat a steaming pile of scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes. Vegeta was an excellent cook. His stomach growled. "Sorry!" He wiped away the dire expression from his face with a stupid grin. "I got lost in my thoughts for a second there."

Goku waited for the predictable quip from Vegeta, but it never came. Vegeta just tilted his head in confusion. "Whatever." He sat down and ate.

Angrily, Goku shoveled the food down his throat. How should he punish Yamcha? Of course, he'd ask him a few questions first. Then maybe he'd smash some of those pretty baseball trophies he kept on display. Maybe he'd even break a window, and dangle Yamcha outside it like he was in an action movie. Once Yamcha begged for forgiveness, only then he would pull him back inside to spare his life. Sure, Yamcha knew how to fly, but that didn't matter! Maybe Goku could even add another scar to his stupid face—

"Frowning isn't becoming of you." Vegeta stroked Goku's cheek.

"Oh! Sorry!"

They finished breakfast in short haste. Goten charged out of the kitchen, yelling about how he was meeting up with Trunks. Goku figured his son didn't want to stick around to gauge Vegeta's reaction. He hoped his son was having an easier time than him at the whole relationship thing…or whatever it was the boys shared together.

Abrupt, Goku stood up from the table. "I've got some errands to run."

"Really. Like what?" Still in a good mood, Vegeta gave him a sly glance. He was genuinely curious.

Goku winked. "It's a secret." He kissed Vegeta on the forehead, who grunted in response. "I'll see ya later, Veggie."

"Don't call me that."

Goku grinned, and pressed his fingers to his forehead. He concentrated on the location of Yamcha's apartment, and instantly transmitted himself through space. He wasn't fucking around. There was no time for flying.

He appeared in front of Yamcha's door. His fist met with the wooden paneling of the door several times. Seconds later, the door opened and Yamcha stood before him. His eyes were half-lidded and hazy from sleep. His silk pajamas were slightly wrinkled.

"Heeey, Yamcha." Goku walked forward and let himself into the apartment.

Yamcha stumbled and walked backwards to keep his distance from Goku. "Hey buddy. Is something the matter?"

 _Is something the matter? He can't be serious!_ Goku cracked his knuckles. Yamcha kept backing away until he bumped into the couch. He tumbled and fell onto the cushions. "Vegeta told me something interesting last night."

Yamcha blushed. "What did he say?"

Why was he acting so cheeky! Goku clenched his fist and smashed a hole through the plastered wall. "Don't mess with me, Yamcha! I thought you were my friend!"

"I  _am_  your friend, Goku!" Yamcha's blush worsened, which only fueled Goku's rage.

"Then why would you hit on Vegeta?" He advanced on Yamcha. The baseball player was taller than him, but whether or not he had more mass was debatable. Goku could end his life in a heartbeat if he wanted.

"Whoa, whoa!" Yamcha held his hands up in the air. "Just let me explain for a second, Goku! Please."

A grumbly sigh escaped Goku's lips. He crossed his arms and pouted. "This better not be a dumb excuse."

Yamcha ran his fingers through his spiky hair. He sighed and gazed out the breathtaking view on the west side of the room. On a better day, Goku would've appreciated the apartment and maybe have even spent some quality time with Yamcha and Vegeta. But now the human's actions may have ruined their friendship.

"I'm waiting."

"Goku, I thought it was pretty obvious to Vegeta what I was trying to say…" He quirked his mouth, and shyly poked both his index fingers together.

"Nothing was made obvious to me. What are you talking about?"

"You know…" Yamcha's face glowed red like a tomato.

"No, I don't!" Goku wanted to sink his fist into another wall. Surely Yamcha could see how pissed he was feeling, so why was he acting so strange?

"You knooow…" One of Yamcha's signature goofy smiles crossed his face. "I was testing the waters for a threesome."

Goku blinked. He couldn't decipher the expression on Yamcha's face. The man was embarrassed, but not for the reason Goku hoped for. "What's a 'threesome'?" he asked.

Yamcha groaned. "Just…forget it." He stood up from the couch, and pressed his hands together in reverence. "I'm sorry I was disrespectful toward Vegeta. It was inappropriate of me, and you're right to feel upset."

Goku jerked back. What the hell was happening here? The anger in his body dissipated, and seconds later he was as intimidating as a deflated balloon. "Oh, uh, thank you?"

Yamcha extended his right hand. Cautious, Goku shook it. "Can I make it up to you by buying you breakfast? I really am sorry, Goku."

Goku opened and closed his mouth, dumbfounded. "Nah, I just ate breakfast and I'm going to be pretty busy today." He was astonished. Yamcha hadn't been the creepy piece-of-shit scum he made him out to be. Honestly, he was just…normal Yamcha. Goku wanted to probe more, and ask about this 'threesome', but decided it'd be faster to end things here. Yamcha realized he'd overstepped a boundary, and apologized. Profusely! Goku felt embarrassed he ever thought about kicking his ass earlier.

"Alright. I'll see you out the door," Yamcha said.

The two men walked back outside. Goku rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, sorry about the wall."

"It's no problem," Yamcha replied cheerfully.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later," Goku said.

"Yeah, I'd love to hang out. Catch you later, buddy." Yamcha closed the door.

"Wow. He's really nice." Goku continued to scratch his head, unsure of what just happened.

* * *

Bulma collapsed back into her office chair. It was only 10AM, and she'd already suffered through two conference calls for Capsule Corp. Her father's mind was fading away, no matter how adamant he was to argue otherwise, so she had to pick up all of his forgotten appointments.

Sighing, she looked down at her phone. At least the rest of the day would be  _much_  more entertaining. Goku was supposed to call her and let her know more details about tonight. He and her ex's love affair fulfilled some indescribable girlish fantasy from youth she never fulfilled. She never had the chance to gossip with girlfriends about boys, or help plan for dates. Hanging out with Earth's strongest warriors as a young woman was great, but she'd missed out on a lot.

Tired of waiting, she called Goku. He picked up. "Hey, Bulma."

"Goku. Have you figured out how you want to get Vegeta to come over here for the prep?"

"Ooh, I forgot. Hold on a sec."

Instantly, Goku appeared in front of Bulma. She swirled around in her chair in fright. "HEY! Don't do that!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm serious! What if I was naked or something!"

Goku laughed. "It's not like I'd see something I haven't seen already."

She bashed him over the back of the head. "You're awful!"

"Ow! I thought this would be easier!" He rubbed the sore spot.

Bulma felt another migraine settling in her skull. "I need a little direction here."

After recovering, Goku spoke up again. "I was hoping you could be the one to ask him to come here and to wait for me to pick him up."

She looked up at the ceiling in thought. "That'll be hard. He's not going to come over unless he knows what's up."

"Just tell him it's a surprise!"

"He hates surprises, Goku. He probably thinks he's going to get pranked." She grinned and rubbed her hands together like a B movie super villain. "That sounds pretty fun when I think about it. It's good to make him squirm a bit."

"Thanks, Bulma. By the way, can I borrow your dragon radar? I need to gather the dragon balls to make a wish before the date tonight."

"Ooh, getting fancy, are we? Luckily for you, I've got the dragon balls already."

"Really?!" Goku leaned closer to her. "Can I have them?"

"Not until you tell me what you need them for first." She wagged her finger and pressed it into his face. "If you're going to wish for something perverted, I don't know if I should give them to you!"

Goku blushed. "What kinda guy do you take me for?"

"I don't know anymore, Goku. I read what you did to Vegeta on that list of yours! I never knew you could be so naughty."

"Bulma…" He giggled and looked away. "I'm going to wish for something serious. That's all I can tell you right now."

"I'm just jerkin' your chain, Goku!" She stood and hugged his torso. "I'll give them to you. I'll even keep Vegeta occupied so he doesn't see the sky turn black. You can count on me."

Buried in Goku's chest, she thought of the torment she was about to put Vegeta through…and smiled.

* * *

Vegeta hated secrets.

Years ago in Frieza's army, secrets generally meant pain and humiliation. A soldier who secretly hated him attempted to strangle him in his quarters one night. One time Nappa secretly fed him peanut butter as a joke, which he was deathly allergic to. Raditz had secretly loved him, and a fat load of good that did him. He was dead now, killed at the hands of his own brother, who ended up scoring Vegeta later down the road.

So what secret was Goku hiding? It could only be something bad.

Vegeta's phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced at the screen and saw Bulma's picture pop up.  _Maybe I can get some answers from the woman._  "Hi," he answered.

"Heeey Ve-ge-taaa."

The appearance of Bulma's sing-song voice always heralded ill news. "What do you need?"

"I was wondering if you could come over…"

He raised a brow. "For what?"

"I can't tell you the reason why since it's a secret. But tonight Goku is going to do something, and it requires you be here before it happens."

 _Fuck dammit._ "No."

"You have to!"

"No, I don't. If Kakarot wants to give me something, he can just give it to me here."

"Pleeeease come over. You'll ruin the surprise if you don't."

"No. I won't be made a fool of."

"Listen." Bulma sighed heavily enough for static to crackle over the phone line. "If you don't come over, you're going to make Goku  _super_  sad."

"Kakarot can cry me a river. I don't care."

"Do you really want Goku to cry? Because he's going to cry if you don't come here. Can't you just imagine his innocent face covered in tears? Not only will he be crying, but he'll be yelling, 'I thought Vegeta cared about me, but that was a lie!'"

Vegeta lightly banged his head against the kitchen door frame. He was surrounded by idiots, and there was no reprieve. "Fine!"

"Wow, that was easy. Okay, get your princely ass over here pronto."

"You're a despicable woman." Vegeta ended the call. Why did he feel like the more he got involved with Goku, the stranger his life became? Bulma was a pain during their relationship, but she never pushed him around as much as Goku. If he disagreed with her long enough, or even ignored her with silence, he generally could get away with doing whatever he wanted.

Not with Goku. The man was a fucking menace. He seemed to always get what he wanted. He wasn't malicious about it, either. Maybe that's what really put Vegeta on edge.

He took his time washing the dishes. Rarely did he get time to sit and stew in his own thoughts anymore. What could Goku do to surprise him? He hoped it wasn't a practical joke. He did not share the same sense of humor as Goku. He thought back to the time Goku attempted to tell him an elaborate joke:

" _Have you heard the one about the prom date?" Goku asks._

" _No," Vegeta said._

" _Okay, I'll tell it to you. There once was a guy who was really excited to ask this girl out to prom."_

" _What's a 'prom'?"_

" _It's a dance teenagers go to at school. Anyway, he asked this beautiful girl out to prom. And she said yes. So he was really happy. He decided to make it the best prom ever for her."_

" _Is that the end of the joke?"_

" _No Vegeta, I'm not done yet. As I was saying, this guy decides to go to the best tailor in town to buy a suit for prom. But when he gets to the tailor, there's a long line. By the time he has his turn with the tailor, there's only one suit left."_

" _Is this—?"_

" _Dammit Vegeta, let me finish! Anyway, he buys the suit. After that, he decides he needs the get the best corsage available for his date. So he goes to a florist and waits in a long line to get the flower. He finally reaches the register and buys it. He's happy to see it's the most beautiful flower in the shop."_

" _This is a really long joke, Kakarot."_

" _Don't worry, it's about to get good. So prom night comes. He picks his date up. She looks beautiful. He gives her the corsage. They go to prom—" Goku bends over and starts laughing. "Sorry, sorry. They go to prom. His date is happy, and they're having a good time. She says she's thirsty, and asks him to get her some punch."_

" _Okay…"_

" _So the guy leaves her to get her the drink. Unfortunately he finds out…there's no punch line!" Goku stares at Vegeta with his mouth open and his eyebrows raised in surprise._

_Vegeta stares back, befuddled. "Is that…is that the end of the joke?"_

_Goku bites his lip and snorts. "Get it? There's no PUNCH line!"_

" _I don't…oh."_

_Goku grabs both of Vegeta's shoulders and shakes him. "Isn't it funny, Vegeta?"_

Vegeta groaned at the memory. No, it wasn't funny to him at all.

Once he finished washing the dishes, he dressed himself and flew over to Capsule Corp. Front doors were for peons, so he took his normal route and landed outside Bulma's open window. She was applying lipstick in front of her vanity mirror, but didn't look surprised. She was expecting him.

Bulma put the makeup down. "Okay, first thing's first." She clapped her hands together in delight. "We've got to make you look really good."

"What do you mean!"

"Tonight's going to be special. So you've got to look as sexy as humanely possible."

"Sexy?! I'm leaving." He poised himself to jump off the window ledge.

"Oh no you don't!" Bulma grabbed onto Vegeta's wrist before he could run off. "This'll be fun, I promise. Dressing well will make you feel better about the whole thing."

Vegeta snatched his hand away and crossed his arms. He followed Bulma out of her bedroom, then down the winding hall to the west wing of Capsule Corp. She stopped in front of a sliding door that required her fingerprint for entry. He grumbled once the door beeped in confirmation, and slid open. "This is stupid."

She clicked her tongue at him. "Check this out." Dozens of florescent lights from above turned on in succession. The room lit up, and revealed a giant warehouse filled with thousands of racks of clothes. She pushed him to a giant five-paneled mirror at the center of the room. "I'll make this easy for you. You just stand here while I pick out some clothes for you. Then you'll try them on. Easy enough, right?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you live to humiliate me."

"Don't be such a drama king. I'll be right back!" She walked away, whipping her head back and forth in joy like she just entered a candy store.

 _How in the world can she search through all of this trash?_ Vegeta lost interest in the clothes, and gazed at himself in the mirror. He never thought about his looks in the same way as the woman. Everything he admired about himself was directly connected to either his pride or heritage. He prided his spiky hair because it reminded him of his Saiyan lineage. He was proud of the way his body looked like a death machine; it was evidence of his hard work from training. But he never bothered with speculating whether or not he was handsome. Before coming to Earth, whatever "handsome" meant was irrelevant to him. Even on Earth, he believed it had zero effect on how he lived his life.

Goku, on the other hand…He was a looker. There was no denying that. The man turned heads wherever he went. Vegeta wondered if Goku could ever feel the same way about him. He'd been called cute by the third-class before, but assumed he was always half-joking.

Bulma sprung from the shadows. "Ta-dah!" Several layers of clothes draped over her extended arms. "Try these on!"

Vegeta lifted up a shirt with his thumb and forefinger like it would bite him back. "What's so special about this?"

"Just put the damn thing on."

Vegeta growled. He tossed his t-shirt away and pulled down his pants. Even though Bulma had seen him naked plenty of times before, in this situation it felt…inappropriate. "Turn around!"

"Big baby," Bulma muttered. She turned her back on him.

He pulled the shirt she picked out over his head. He looked in the mirror and immediately blushed. "Bulma, this is gods-awful."

"Don't forget to put the pants on, too." After waiting a few seconds, Bulma turned around. "Oh my, it's so tight!"

"Tight?  _Tight_? It's practically see-through. You can see my nipples!"

"Wow." Bulma looked him up and down. Vegeta felt like she was devouring him without his consent, so he tugged the shirt off. "I guess Goku isn't into that sort of thing anyway. What a shame," Bulma said.

Vegeta looked at the pants. They were stupid, too. "I always knew Earthlings had bad taste in clothing. But why wear pants you can't even walk in?"

"They're just skinny jeans. Don't get your balls in a knot. Take them off and we'll find something else."

Over the course of the next few hours, Vegeta tried on various outfits of Bulma's liking. As much as he hated being her little Saiyan doll, the experience warmed him up to the idea he could please Goku in more ways than one. Well, in more than  _two_  ways if he included the cooking he did daily. He was still wary about this secret being kept from him. But if looking good would make whatever was going to happen later easier, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

"Oh my gosh!" Bulma cried out.

He'd tried on the last outfit she picked out, and hadn't bothered to look in the mirror yet. "What's wrong with it?"

"We've hit the jackpot. I think Goku is going to like this one." She looked him up and down again in approval.

He gazed at himself in the mirror. "I look too young."

"You can thank your Saiyan genes for that." She walked around him in a circle. "You should undo this one suspender."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, it's what's  _in_  right now. I can't believe how cute you look in this!" She grinned, and pat his backside. "Your butt looks cute, too."

Vegeta covered himself. "Stop it!"

"Hmm. I should pick out some good shoes for you to wear as well. I'll be right back!" Bulma skipped away, cackling to herself.

Vegeta judged himself in the mirror again.  _I don't look too bad, I guess._

* * *

After running around all day, Goku wanted to kick himself. Besides training for a battle, he'd never planned anything in advance before. So he figured coordinating a date couldn't be harder than that. He was wrong, and fantastically so.

He'd taken the dragon balls Bulma gave him earlier and met up with Marron. They summoned Shenron, and the whole time he hoped Vegeta wouldn't notice the sky darkening and come sniffing around to find out what was going on. But everything went smoothly. Except for the uncomfortable look on Shenron's face during the whole ordeal. It kind of pissed Goku off, since he didn't think his wishes were as bad as Oolong's wish years ago for girls panties. At least Shenron didn't care to ask him a bunch of questions afterward.

Afterward, Marron said she'd need at least five hours in her studio to finish making Vegeta's gift. By the time they finished with the dragon balls it was already past 2PM, and Goku wanted to pick up Vegeta before sunset. He hadn't considered the time it'd take her to finish the job, so he ITd them both to her house so she could get right to work.

He knew all the places he wanted to take Vegeta, but hadn't factored in time zones. Gohan was nice enough to take a break from his research to do the math, and figure out exactly when Goku should arrive at specific spots. Gohan had to force his father to wear a digital watch to keep everything organized, which rubbed Goku the wrong way. Having to conform to punctuality didn't suit him.

Once the day wound down and it got closer to sunset, Goku met with Marron to collect the gift. When she presented the object to him, his heart skipped a beat "This is beautiful!"

"Thanks. Don't forget to put it in this box to keep it safe. Oh, and here's the other gift…"

He thanked her. He hurried home, got showered and dressed, and IT'd straight to Capsule Corp.

He was nervous, to say the least. Throughout the day he'd been too busy to consider what it'd be like to go through with this, but now it made him a little sick. It was a new feeling. He'd never felt too nervous or shy around Chi-Chi. She was predictable, even when angry. But Vegeta's mood could turn on a dime. His unpredictable nature was thrilling.

Goku rung the buzzer outside the Capsule Corp entrance and waited for a response. He focused on his pounding heart.

"Who is it?" Instead of an attendant, Bulma spoke over the speaker.

"It's me, Goku!" he said in the most cheerful voice he could muster.

"Great! I'll open the door. Come to the living room. I'll tell Vegeta you're here."

Goku gulped. The sliding front door parted open for him, and he entered. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so he placed both behind his head. Wait…maybe that was too casual. Should he place them behind his back? It was too late now, he was already rounding the corner into the living room!

"Hey, Goku!" He heard Bulma before he saw her. He scanned the room and saw Vegeta sprawled lazily on the couch.

_Oh…wow…_

"Do you want to go ahead and tell Vegeta your big surprise?"

"Um." Goku had trouble closing his mouth again.

"What's the matter?" Bulma asked. Goku darted his eyes back and forth between her and Vegeta. He blushed and ran out of the room.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Vegeta yelled.

"Goku, come back!"

Goku pressed himself against the wall, panting.  _Holy shit, Vegeta looks amazing!_  Running away from him was the only natural way to respond. He couldn't just stand there and take it in. It was too much to handle all at once!

Bulma came around the corner, cautious to tip-toe as to not scare Goku off. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah!" Goku gulped again. "It's just that I, uh, I wasn't, um, expecting him to look like that."

"What do you mean? What's wrong with the way he looks?"

Goku loosened the collar of his shirt. "He looks, um, really attractive."

Bulma burst into a laughing fit. "You ran away because of THAT?!"

"Shh!" He pressed his finger to her mouth. "Don't embarrass me, okay?"

"Goku, you're so cute! You're like a teenage boy!" She clenched her shaking sides. "Don't tell me you're not going to go through with this. Not after all the hard work I put in this afternoon!"

"N-no. I think I'm, um, good to go now." He followed her back into the living room. He smiled so hard, it hurt.

"Kakarot, are you ill?" Genuine concern was on Vegeta's face.

"N-no. I was just surprised is all." His skin was so hot, even the tips of his ears were burning. Ashamed, he drank in the sight of Vegeta's body again.

He wore a baggy, crochet sweater decorated in ornate designs. It looked expensive, bright and jovial. The bright color had thrown Goku off the most. It made Vegeta look vibrant, and put the drab surroundings of Capsule Corp to shame. But what had utterly delighted Goku was the fact Vegeta was wearing overalls.  _Overalls_! They were tight on his legs, a nice contrast to the baggy sweater, and even one of the suspenders was undone and lazily hanging below his waist.

Vegeta had one knee propped under his chin, and his hands were laced together at his ankle. He looked so casual and comfortable wearing it, as if it wasn't a big deal at all he was wearing something that made him look so human.

Goku licked his lips. "So, uh…"

Bulma prodded him in his back. "Why don't you tell Vegeta why you're here?"

"Oh!" Goku shook his head.  _Gotta stay focused!_ "Vegeta, I wanted to surprise you tonight. I'm going to take you out on a date."

Vegeta blinked a few times. "What do you mean?"

"You know…I'm going to take you out tonight and show you a good time."

Vegeta's eyes widened. He looked to Bulma for help. "What's a date?"

Goku and Bulma fell over. "You don't know?!" Goku groaned from the floor.

Vegeta bared his teeth. "I mean—I know what a date is. Trunks has been on them before. But I thought dates were just for children. Is that what you're talking about? Something silly like that?"

Goku helped Bulma up off the floor. He was dizzy. "Yeah, pretty much!"

Vegeta blushed. He found something interesting on the floor to distract him from staring Goku directly in the face. "But we're already together, Kakarot. And adults. What's the point in going on a date?"

"It's supposed to be fun. I also get to spoil you a little bit."

"Bulma." Vegeta glared at her. "On Earth, don't the males usually ask the  _females_  out on dates?"

"Maybe if you lived in the 1950s," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyone can ask someone out on a date, Vegeta."

Goku watched Vegeta's face fall. It hurt him. He knew Vegeta wouldn't go without putting up a fight, but the reality was worse than what he'd imagined. "I think you'll enjoy yourself, if you just let me show you what I have in store."

"I don't…" Vegeta sighed. "None of this is necessary."

Goku clasped his hands together. "Please?"

"No. I'm not going. It's too—it's too weird."

"Well, that's a dumb reason not to go!" Bulma crossed her arms in a huff. "I know you like to sit around and be boring, but Goku put a lot of effort into this!"

Now it was Goku's turn to feel embarrassed. He didn't need Bulma there to defend him. Part of him wished she'd leave and let them talk alone. "Vegeta, don't you trust me?"

"To a certain extent." Vegeta held up his hand to silence Goku. "The subject is closed. I'm not moving a muscle."

Goku planted his hands on his hips, and cocked his head to the side. "Okay then. I guess I'll have to carry you."

"What!" Vegeta hissed.

Goku walked to the couch and picked up the smaller Saiyan. He let Vegeta rest his head near his armpit as he carried him bridal style. "I bet you feel like a real prince now!"

"Put me down!" Vegeta wiggled in Goku's arms, but couldn't escape.

"No. I won't. You're coming with me, and you're going to like it."

Bulma burst out laughing. "Vegeta, you always wanted to be treated like royalty!"

"Fuck you! You knew this was going to happen, didn't you!" He glared daggers at Bulma's wicked smile.

Goku nuzzled his face against Vegeta's temple. "Don't worry, I won't drop you."

"Put me down  _now_. I swear, Kakarot, I won't hesitate to hurt you if that's what it takes!"

"I don't think you want to do that." Goku walked to the entrance of Capsule Corp. Bulma pressed a button to let him out. "The less you struggle, the easier this will be."

"I'll see you later, Vegeta," Bulma cried. Vegeta reached his arms out toward Bulma. She got smaller and smaller the longer Goku walked away. The front door closed behind them.

He turned his frustration back to Goku and opened his mouth to yell something obscene. He was cut short. "Mm, you look so good," Goku whispered in his ear. He kissed Vegeta deeply and swallowed the words from his mouth.

Moments later, Goku pulled away, and all Vegeta could muster to say was, "Really?"

"Absolutely."

Goku opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by Vegeta kissing him back. They were short, delicate pecks against his cheek, mouth and nose. He'd never been kissed this way before, and certainly not from Vegeta. In a way, he believed he was receiving a gentle apology. He wondered if Vegeta was too prideful to say he enjoyed the earlier compliment, too. Goku decided to save him the embarrassment and not bring attention to it. "Are ya hungry?"

"Hn. Do you have a place in mind?"

"Yep. I think you'll like it!" Goku jumped into the air and flew away east from Capsule Corp.

Vegeta wrapped his arms around Goku's neck as if he'd fall. As if he couldn't break away on his own, lest he plummet to his death. He could have punched Goku, or if he was feeling especially nasty, sent a ki-blast into his face and let Goku deal with the consequences. But instead, he clung to Goku and rest his spiky head against his muscled shoulder. Goku was happy Vegeta found peace in his arms.


	9. Part Nine

"Have you ever flown around just for fun?"

Vegeta opened his eyes at the sound of Goku's voice. They soared above the clouds in some part of the world he'd never seen before. Up here, the moon's brightness gave everything an ethereal glow. If not for his sweater and the furnace-like heat radiating from Goku's chest, Vegeta would be freezing. "Not really," he finally spoke into Goku's neck.

"Not even when you were small?" Goku asked.

"No. I spent most of my time training when I was younger." Vegeta paused, then took the bait. "I take it you were different."

"I trained a lot as a kid, too. But I also traveled. I spent a lot of days flying on my nimbus cloud just exploring the world around me."

"What the hell is a nimbus cloud?"

"It's a magic cloud I rode when I was a teenager. Only the pure of heart can sit on it." Goku raised his brow. "Do you want to see if it'll let you ride it?"

"No, I don't need to ride on a stupid cloud!"

"You're right. This is much more romantic, right?" Goku squeezed Vegeta closer to his chest.

Vegeta scoffed. "I take it all your friends could ride it?"

"Hehe. Not at all. Bulma and Krillen could never ride it. Master Roshi couldn't ride it either, and he's the first one to give me the flying nimbus."

"So you're saying only  _you_  were pure enough to ride it. How typical."

"Mmm, not exactly..." Goku looked away. "A few girls I met could ride it. And Chi-Chi."

Vegeta tightened his grasp around Goku's neck. "Fine. Let me try it."

"Wha? Really? What changed your mind?"

 _Do I really have to say it?_ Vegeta thought. "Just let me try to ride the damn thing!"

"Alright." Goku inhaled deeply. " **FLYING NIMBUS!** " he screamed into the night air.

"Fuck Kakarot, you're going to destroy my eardrums if you yell like that again!"

Miles away, Vegeta watched a yellow mass speed toward them. It barrel rolled and loop-de-looped in the air, as if delighted to fly again after years of dormancy. Once it reached them it skidded to a stop in mid-air and hovered next to Goku's legs.

"Are you sure about this?" Goku grinned cheekily at Vegeta. "You might fall right through it."

"I can handle it."

Goku nodded, and dropped Vegeta onto the nimbus cloud. He grunted on impact, but managed to land safely.

"No way!" Goku yelled. " _You_ can ride the nimbus cloud?!"

Vegeta crossed his arms. He couldn't fight back the growing smirk on his face. "Do you have such little faith in the kind of man I am?"

"Wow! I can't believe it." Goku scratched the back of his head, astonished. He lowered himself to the nimbus. "I guess we can ride this the rest of the way—" Goku gasped and fell through the cloud.

Vegeta leaned over and watched Goku plummet down past all the dark clouds clustered below them. "Huh." He ran his fingers through the nimbus cloud and watched the yellow moisture curl around his hand, then dissipate. "Um. Go get him…cloud...thing."

The nimbus cloud flipped in the air, then dove toward Goku. Goku flapped his arms to try and stop himself from falling. Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Stop playing around and fly already!"

"Oh." Goku halted in midair. His face turned beet red. "This is really embarrassing."

Vegeta rolled over onto his side on the nimbus cloud. He clicked his tongue in disapproval while looking down at Goku from a few feet above. "Have you done something naughty recently? Something I don't know about?"

Nervous giggled erupted from Goku. "Maybe it's broken."

"Broken. Sure."

Goku grabbed Vegeta from the cloud, and carried him in his arms like before. "I'm faster than the nimbus cloud anyway." Showing off, he sped above the clouds, rising even higher than before.

Vegeta buried his face into Goku's warm neck again. "You're trying to keep me cold, aren't you."

"Whatever gets you in the mood." Quickly, he stole a kiss from Vegeta and tasted the inside of his mouth. Vegeta sighed into it, and busied his hands with stroking the soft hairs on the back of Goku's neck.

Vegeta groaned when the kiss broke. Half-lidded eyes scanned his own, searching for a certain response. "Do I deserve you, Vegeta?"

He wasn't sure how to take that. It was strangely phrased. Goku wasn't known for being cryptic. "What do you mean, Kakarot?"

"Have I done enough to deserve your love?"

The cold air made his eyes water. "Yes."

Goku's face lit up. "I feel the same way about you."

* * *

Toward the end of their flight, Goku descended into the clouds. Thunder clapped around them, and streaks of lightening flashed in the distance. Goku rose his energy and deflected the giant hail hurtling toward them.

"Where are you taking us?" Vegeta could barely hear himself in the storm.

Goku shielded Vegeta's head with his open palm. "We're almost there!" They continued to fall toward the earth. Vegeta watched giant green mountains surrounded them the closer they got to the ground. The hail was gone, but replaced with a downpour. Through the rain, Vegeta saw them approach a thunderous waterfall cradled between two yawning, mossy cliffs. They sped through the waterfall and entered a damp cave.

"This is it! We made it!" Goku powered down. He gently set Vegeta onto his own feet.

"What in the world…" Vegeta scanned the surroundings. Torches lined the walls of the cave, which expanded into a giant cavern only a few yards away. It was hard to see in the dim light, but there  _were_  people around them.

A man with brown skin and a warm smile approached them. "Ah, Son Goku! You came back."

"Hiya!" Goku shook his hand. "I hope you have room for us tonight?"

"Certainly." The man spoke with an accent Vegeta couldn't pinpoint. He marveled at how easily Goku understood him. "Come this way."

They followed him into the cavern. Inside sat a pool of water with a gleaming light deep within its depths. Small enclaves in the cavern wall surrounded the pool; upon a closer look Vegeta noticed hand wrought wooden tables filled each one. The man led them to a smaller enclave that barely fit the both of them. Vegeta sat down on the simple booth behind the table. For Goku to fit, he had to slide into the booth and squish himself against Vegeta's side.

"Do you want your usual?" the man asked.

Goku nodded. "Yes, but make it double please."

Horror flashed across the man's face. "Double…certainly. Give us a while, okay?"

"It's not a problem!"

The man backed away from the table. He yelled something in a foreign language to a few other waiters milling about. In unison, they all gazed at Goku's table in apprehension.

"Don't worry about them," Goku said. "They'll get a good tip."

"Kakarot. This is…" Vegeta's wide eyes looked around again.  _How did he even find this place?!_ In the dim light he saw jungle vines lined the entrance of the enclave, trailed the bottom of the floor, and wrapped around the edge of the table. "This place looks incredible."

"I knew you'd like it. It's different from most restaurants, right?"

"If it could even be called such. How'd you find this place?"

Goku reclined on the bench, and wrapped his arm around Vegeta. "I found it by accident as a kid. This restaurant's been here for hundreds of years."

"You've certainly impressed me."

"Yeah?" Goku brushed his lips against Vegeta's cheek, and a shiver went down the Prince's spine. The touch was feather-light, and tickled. He wasn't used to being showered with this kind of affection in public, and blushed. This was different than sex. Goku was making love to him and was barely touching him at all. He mumbled some nonsense, and gently applied pressure against Goku's shoulder to make him stop.

"Sorry," Goku said, smiling. He pulled away. "You look really beautiful right now."

"Oh, shut-up!" Vegeta turned his head, and planted his chin in the palm of his hand. Why did Goku have to embarrass him in this way? "You don't have to suck up to me. I already like you."

"I'm serious. You look gorgeous."

Vegeta looked back over his shoulder. "Pfft."

Goku copied his pose, resting his chin in his own hand. Eyes half-lidded, he wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously at Vegeta. "You're a bona-fide hottie. I wouldn't lie about that."

How many times in one day could Vegeta blush? He sighed, defeated. "Thank you, Kakarot."

To his relief, the man from before arrived and saved him from Goku's piercing gaze. He placed two stone cups and two sets of silverware down on the table. He dabbed his sweaty forehead, then pulled a large, purple jug from his apron pocket. "Here is your favorite wine!" he said. Deft, he pulled a blade from his apron and slammed it into the jug's cork. It exploded, and flew up into the ceiling of the cavern. Foam bubbled from the top and dribbled onto the table. "Enjoy!" The man ran off, yelling more foreign words to the workers around him.

"This stuff is really good." Goku poured some of the drink into both their cups. "You don't need a lot at one time."

Vegeta pulled his cup to his nose and sniffed. "It's pretty strong. Do you usually finish a whole bottle by yourself?"

"Ehehe." Goku swirled the wine in his cup. "Now that I have you here, it shouldn't be as bad, right?"

Vegeta lapped some of the wine out of the cup like a cat. Goku laughed at him. Vegeta closed his eyes and savored the strong taste on his tongue. "It tastes like fruit."

"It's made out of a fermented fruit from the rain forest." Goku grinned. "If you down it all at once, it feels really good."

"I bet. That's not how you're supposed to drink wine."

Goku tipped his cup back until it was empty. Vegeta copied him. He coughed. "My insides are on fire!"

"Whoo!" Goku slammed his cup back down onto the table.

Vegeta rubbed his watery eyes. The warmth ballooned inside of him and spread to his limbs. His tongue loosened. "This reminds me of a drink I had when I was a teenager."

"Yeah? Where was that?"

Vegeta never enjoyed talking about his youth under Freiza. It wasn't all misery, but the experience was dark in comparison to the cheerful life he assumed Goku had on Earth. He didn't want to scare the younger Saiyan away. But maybe Goku should know more about him. "On a planet named Karai. I drank a lot, and the women there were beautiful."

Goku raised his brows. "Oh."

Vegeta leaned closer. "Does that upset you? Knowing that about me?"

"That you had sex with a lot of women? No, that makes perfect sense." Goku's cheeks were ruddy from the alcohol, even though he'd drank just one cup. "I wasn't so innocent either when I was younger."

"Oh? I always thought you were virginal and pure until you met your wife." Vegeta paused. "And maybe even long after that."

"Ha-ha, real funny." Vegeta felt Goku's warm hand on his knee. "That's not true at all."

This was new information to Vegeta. "Explain yourself."

"Oh, geez…" Goku looked up at the ceiling. "Before I entered the Tenkaichi Budokai at 18, I spent the night on Papaya Island before sign-up day. I ran into these two girls at the inn and they invited me back to their room. They were nice, and I thought they just wanted to hang out. All I knew at the time was that it was a  _lot_  of fun."

Vegeta's mouth gaped open.  _Kakarot has had a threesome?!_ He tried to imagine Goku fumbling around to please two women at once, and failing. "I don't believe you!"

Goku laughed. "Are you upset with me now? Do I seem like a different person?"

"No," Vegeta said. It was a half-lie…There were a lot of things he didn't know about Goku, and it wasn't until now he realized it. "Any more secrets from your youth?"

"Not really any secrets. Just things you don't know about me. Just like there are things I don't know about you."

Vegeta refilled their cups. "Tell me something else, then."

"Okay, but only if you promise to tell me a secret in exchange." Goku downed the second cup, and slammed it on the table again. "One time while fighting an army, I defeated two men by crushing them between a table and a wall. It was the most fun I ever had killing someone."

"What the fuck, Kakarot?"

"I think I was thirteen years old." Vegeta watched Goku's face change, and saw he actually felt bad discussing this. "I was different then."

Vegeta drank half the wine in his cup. It was enough. "For a Saiyan, that isn't too outrageous. I've obviously done worse."

"It's hard to explain." Goku stared into the sparkling pool in the middle of the cave. "I want to feel bad I did that, but I don't. So instead, I feel bad about  _not_  feeling bad. Does that make sense?"

Vegeta rubbed Goku's knee under the table. "It does."

"So what're you going to tell me in return?"

Vegeta didn't want to go so far as to mention his night with Frieza. It was too fucked of a topic to bring up, what with them both in such a positive mood. He couldn't push his luck too much. So what  _could_  he divulge? "I'm allergic to peanut butter."

Goku sputtered. "What? That's not a secret, Vegeta. I already knew that about you!"

Vegeta laughed. He wasn't sure if he'd ever heard himself laugh so purely. "I've never told you that! How could you know?"

"'Cause you never touch it whenever it's around. You avoid peanut dishes, too. So I assumed you either hated them, or were allergic."

"Huh." The urge to touch Goku overwhelmed him. His fingers found their way into Goku's hair. "You pay close attention to me, don't you."

"All the time." Goku leaned in, and rubbed his nose against Vegeta's.

"Why do you like doing that to me…"

"Because when I get close enough, you cross your eyes. It's super cute."

Vegeta buried his face in his lover's chest. Without words, Goku understood his need and gently rubbed his back.

He adored this sensation of being attended to without asking. Goku kissed the top of his head, and called him sweetie. In his mind he imprinted the memory someplace safe, where it could exist free of scrutiny and terror. How strange. He  _wanted_  to feel terror. Objectively, what Goku did to him was in some way, terrible. He was melting into a huge, mushy puddle around the man, and didn't care. That should have been terror-inducing. But he felt nothing but safe while nuzzled up with his rival.

Goku gently shook Vegeta from his trance. "Food's here!"

Several waiters piled the food onto the table. One of them dragged two extra wooden tables to their enclave so all the food could fit. The men were sweaty, but didn't let their discomfort wipe the soft smiles from their faces. Once done, they bowed. "Please enjoy your meal!"

"I'm so hungry," Goku moaned. He reached toward a plate in the middle of the table.

"What…is this stuff?" Vegeta asked. He hadn't seen food like this before.

"Oh, I'll show you! Try this first." Goku pointed to what looked like a bag made out of leaves. "If you open it up, you'll find chicken, rice, and fish inside. You can eat the bag, too."

Vegeta picked up the bag, and opened it. Hot steam rose into his face. He tasted the inside and moaned. "This is very good."

"Told you." Goku was already gnawing on his giant leaf to finish it off. "I got twenty, so dig in!"

Over the next hour, Goku explained the different food dishes, their ingredients, and how to eat them. Vegeta especially liked the fried plantain slices slathered with fried sausage. Goku made a big deal out of the plate of sliced flounder at the farthest end of the table. He explained that the fish was stained pink with seeds from deep inside the rain forest, and that said seeds were difficult to find. "Everything we're eating is pretty rare in this part of the world," he said in-between mouthfuls.

"I never knew you were so cultured, Kakarot." Vegeta chewed on his fifth helping of sausage and worried his tone was too harsh. "You impress me more as the night goes on."

"Thanks, Veggie. I'm just glad you like the food."

They spent the rest of the meal in silence, other than asking each other to pass a plate around the table. By the time Vegeta stopped eating, all the plates were licked clean of every morsel.

In the tiny space he didn't have much room to stretch. He did the best he could with the room he had, and extended his legs and arms away from his body. "That was spectacular."

"Right?" Goku poured the last bit of wine into his cup and downed it. "And the night's only just begun."

Vegeta sighed and closed his eyes. It was comforting to be this full. One of the waiters came by and bothered Goku about the check, which he quickly took care of. Once the waiter left, Vegeta laid his head against Goku's chest again. "Where will you take me now?"

Goku squinted down at his watch. Vegeta had never seen him wear it before, but didn't think it warranted an interrogation. "It's a surprise. But we should get going now."

As they walked out of the cavern, Vegeta felt a deep sadness tug at his heart. Once they left, would things be as they were before? Being in the tropic cave restaurant was like being in a time warp where he was free to feel for Goku without shame.

"Come on!" Goku bent and picked him up into his arms once more. "You're going to  _love_  where I take you next."

* * *

The happiness bursting inside Goku made him want to dance on rooftops. Here Vegeta was, clinging cozily to his body, as they flew north. He'd never seen the Prince look so content during all his years on Earth. He hadn't called Goku an idiot once the whole night!

"Shit. I'm going to freeze my ass off here," Vegeta said. The temperature was dropping fast, so Goku powered up to keep them both warm. Vegeta sighed in pleasure from the warmth. "I've never been treated so well."

"I'm happy to help." Goku felt his pulse quicken. They were close to their destination. "Don't worry, we'll be there soon. It'll be warmer once we get inside."

Vegeta purred. Goku blushed as Vegeta pressed a thumb against his shirt and rubbed his nipple. "Inside where?" he asked.

"It's a secret. But if you keep that up, we're going to have a bigger problem to deal with besides the cold."

Half an hour later, they broke through a cluster of clouds above an ocean. Arctic temperatures froze the water below. Vegeta gasped and tugged on Goku's shirt. "Kakarot! Look!"

Goku looked into the sky. Above them floated brilliant curtains of light that cascaded throughout the sky. The stars were also crystal clear in this dark part of the world. Goku marveled at Vegeta's wide eyes as they drank in the sight. "Pretty cool, right?" Goku said.

"I've never seen anything like this!"

"It's the northern lights," Goku said. While Vegeta was distracted by the wonder above them, Goku focused on the world below. He was flying above the tiny, snow-covered town that was their next destination. Brightly-colored wooden houses dotted the landscape.

He passed over them, and landed in a large field north of town. "Alright, we're here."

Vegeta returned his gaze to Goku's face. "Are we going to hike through the snow?"

"Not you. You're a prince. I'll be carrying you to your quarters." Goku chuckled at the shy way Vegeta looked away.

The snow came up to Goku's knees, but he wasn't too concerned. They'd be inside soon enough. He pushed forward through the slush until he reached a building in the field. "This is where we're going to sleep tonight."

Vegeta stared at the hut. "What is this place?"

Goku carried Vegeta to the side of the building. He fished a pair of keys from his pocket, then unlocked the front door. He wiggled an arm free from under Vegeta to turn the lights on. "Ta-dah!"

Vegeta dropped from Goku's grasp. "It's a cabin," he said slowly.

He looked around at the ornate wooden furnishings. The cabin was cramped and tiny, with a small bathroom attached to the west wall. But the ceiling compensated for the lack of space. It was completely made of plates of glass, and curved into the shape of a dome.

"It's called a glass igloo," Goku said. He closed the front door. "They only have them in the town of Kakslauttanen."

"I can see the lights from here," Vegeta said. He fell backwards onto the bed and kept his eyes trained on the night sky.

Goku didn't waste any time when removing his wet boots and pants. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," Vegeta said quietly. He was miles away.

Goku let Vegeta relax while he busied himself with lighting the fireplace. He got confused when he saw it was electric, and only required turning on the gas and a lighter. In the back of his mind, he'd hoped he could show off for Vegeta and go outside looking for firewood. He guessed that'd been a silly notion, that Vegeta would care about something like that.

He went to the tiny stove in the corner. He filled the tea kettle there with water and put it over a fire. "I've only been here once before," he said.

"By yourself, or with someone else?"

"By myself."

"You traveled a lot alone." Vegeta rolled onto his side to look at Goku. "Why is that? You have a lot of friends."

"Sometimes I feel like I move too fast for them to keep up. In the past, whenever I wanted to go somewhere, I just did it. Everyone else always wanted to plan and pack and prepare. I never understood that."

"It's in your Saiyan blood to roam."

Goku leaned against the stove. He was only wearing his shirt and underwear. "Are you lonely on the bed all by yourself?"

Vegeta didn't answer. He stared at Goku, and lowered himself onto the duvet. Goku approached him, only to get interrupted by the screeching tea kettle. He hissed. He prepared two cups of tea for the both of them.

"Kakarot, what's this that fell out of your pants?"

Goku turned around. Vegeta was turning a small box around in his hands.

"Oh, don't look at that yet!" Goku rushed over with the two hot mugs in his hand, and set them on the dresser beside the bed. "It's a present."

Vegeta dropped the box. "A present?"

It was now or never. Goku picked up the box. The room was a lot hotter than earlier. Vegeta swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stared up at him, expectantly. How was he supposed to do this? He thought he'd have some time to prepare what he wanted to say, but it was too late.

He felt himself blush. He got down on one knee and looked up at Vegeta. "I had something special made for you."

Vegeta looked…horrified. "What are you doing?"

Goku put on his best smile. He popped the box open. "I had Marron make this ring for you. It's um—" He stammered, unsure how to explain the next part. "It's made from a rare rock from Planet Vegeta. See?"

Vegeta's eyes widened. "How did you get something from Planet Vegeta?"

"I made a wish with the dragon balls. After that, Marron made a ring from the material." Goku removed the ring from the box. He hadn't had the chance to truly admire it up close. It glowed red and white, with streaks of what resembled stardust mixed throughout it. With its impossibly smooth surface, it looked like a miniature planet. Marron was damn good.

"I don't…what?" Vegeta's eyes were fluttering, and Goku wasn't sure why. "I don't understand. Why are you giving this to me?"

Goku felt relieved he was asked an easy question. "Because I love you!"

Vegeta burst into tears.

Goku panicked. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Put it away. I don't want it." Vegeta covered his wet face with his large sweater sleeve. He pulled all of his limbs close to his body to make himself as small as possible.

Goku had never seen Vegeta react this way before. He'd seen him cry a few times during battle, but those moments had been completely different. "Vegeta, I didn't mean to make you—"

" _Why_  do you  _insist_ on making a fool of me?" Vegeta struggled to speak through the sobs, and was obviously very upset about it. "Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to you to deserve this?"

Goku felt  _really_  confused now. "You didn't do anything wrong, Vegeta! I want to give this to you because I love you, and I want to make you happy."

Vegeta wheezed. He struggled to catch his breath. "Kakarot, I fucked Frieza."

Goku pulled back. "Huh?"

"When I was younger. Actually,  _he_  fucked  _my_  brains out. I even went to his room and asked for it."

Goku rolled back onto the floor and landed on his bottom. Vegeta was still crying, but the situation was too fucked for him to know how to react. "Vegeta…"

"No. Listen." Vegeta wiped his face with his sweater sleeve. "Men like me—we don't—ugh." He wiped his face again and stilled his heaving chest. "Long ago I accepted the kind of person I am. I'm no good. I'm absolute  _trash_. And I'm okay with that. Someone has to be the trash, and deal with it. But you keep  _pushing_  me to be something I'm not!"

"I don't understand."

"Ugh, why do you have to be so dense!" Vegeta gave up on wiping his tears away. "I'm not like you. I don't get to have friends. That I even ended up having a family is a miracle. I certainly don't get to have a lover who dotes on me and gives me gifts. I'm going to betray you one day, and break your heart. I thought that much was obvious to you, but I guess not. So please," he clenched his fists, "don't do this. You can't love me this much. It hurts. You'll destroy me. Please, please stop."

Goku clenched his fists together. "You're not trash, Vegeta!" He stood up and towered above the bed. Something about the speech made him…furious. He figured Vegeta thought he could just take this all out on him without a fight. He was wrong. "Do you think  _I_ would waste my time with trash?"

Vegeta gazed up at him in awe. He had no words.

"Do you think," Goku yelled, gesturing around the cabin, "I would go through the trouble of doing all of this for you if I thought you were trash? Do you think I'm that stupid?" He started pacing around the room. "I don't know what happened to you to make you think so little of yourself. But I know how good you are for me. So if you think you're trash, you must think  _I'm_  trash too. And I'm not."

Vegeta continued to stare up at him, trembling. "Kakarot, I'm afraid of you."

"Why!"

"Because I'm in love with you."

Goku stopped his pacing. He watched Vegeta cover his face and sob again.

All of the anger and tightness in his chest left him. He crawled onto the bed and cradled Vegeta to his chest. "I love you too, Vegeta."

"I love you, Kakarot," he said again. He repeated it like a mantra. "I love you. I love you so much."

Goku kissed the wet trails on his face. "I love you too," he said again.

They sat curled up for a long time. Goku pet Vegeta's hair and rubbed his shoulders to soothe him. Vegeta kept his silence the whole time. They gazed into the fireplace as the night went on.

"Do you still have that tea?" Vegeta asked out of the blue. His voice was hoarse.

"Yep." Goku sat up and grabbed the mug. He passed it off to Vegeta.

The smaller Saiyan drank until he emptied the mug, then gave it back to Goku. "Thank you."

Goku rubbed his shoulders again. "How're you feeling now?"

Vegeta looked up at Goku. "A bit strange." A pause. "Can I try it on?"

"Try what on?" Goku asked dumbly.

Vegeta closed his droopy eyes. "The ring, Kakarot."

"Oh, right!" Goku scurried to the floor, and brought the box onto the bed. He took out the ring. "I hope it fits. Marron guessed the size."

Vegeta slid it onto his ring finger. He held it up in the air, scrutinizing it. "Not bad."

"You really like it?"

"Yes." He glared at Goku. "I hope you don't think this means we're getting married."

"Of course not!" Goku blushed. He pulled Vegeta back down onto the bed and spooned him from behind. He watched Vegeta continue to admire the ring. He wished he could hear his thoughts on the matter.

"Kakarot, do you want to fuck me?"

Goku coughed. "Uh, do you mean in general, or right now?"

"Right now."

"Oh. You mean like…?"

"Yes, like the way you want."

"Why now?"

"I'm in the mood."

Goku squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted it more than anything in the world. But not like this. Not only was it too early, for both the list and mating reasons, but because the timing was just wrong. Vegeta was a crying mess just twenty minutes ago, and now he wanted to bottom? Goku needed their first time to be…under more ideal circumstances.

He struggled to get the words out. "I really want to do it, Vegeta, but it doesn't feel right to do it now."

"Oh." There was surprise in Vegeta's voice. "Okay…"

"Don't sound so sad. We'll do it another time, okay?"

Vegeta sighed dramatically, and left it at that.

Goku snapped his fingers. "I almost forgot. I have another present for you!" Goku leapt from the bed and rummaged through his pant pockets.

"More? You sure enjoy spoiling me."

Goku jumped back onto the bed. "Check this out!"

Vegeta looked down at Goku's hand. He held a photograph. Vegeta leaned forward to get a better look at it. He squinted his eyes. "What the fuck?"

"I hope this isn't too weird or creepy. It's not stupid, is it?"

"You wished for  _this_?"

Goku felt himself blushing. "I mean, I thought it would be cool for us to have."

"You're telling me," Vegeta said, "you asked Shenron for a photo of a fictional event?"

"Yeah." Goku scratched the back of his head. Had he made an ass out of himself again?

Vegeta screamed with laughter. "Kakarot, you are so strange!" He pointed at the photo. "So this is you as a child, correct?"

Goku nodded. "Yeah, maybe around age 12. That's Bulma when she was 16, that's Yamcha around the same age, that's Krillen around 13, and there's Master Roshi. And that's you standing next to me…"

Vegeta laughed again. He rubbed his thumb over the photograph. All of them were posed together in the photo op with big smiles. Teenage Vegeta was dressed in his armor, and even had a scouter on. "Do you really think if I came to Earth when I was a kid, we would've all been friends?"

"No. But wouldn't that have been nice?"

"Why did you choose this time period?"

"It was the happiest time of my life. Until now, of course."

Vegeta nodded. He traced his finger over each person's face as if seeing them for the first time. "Wouldn't it be nice…wouldn't it be nice…"

* * *

Goku fell asleep next to Vegeta shortly after giving his gifts. Vegeta got up to turn the fireplace off. He climbed back into bed and stared up at the night sky. Goku had told him the town they lodged in just today began their six months of perpetual night. The curtains of rainbow light still hung above them in the sky. He thought they'd be gone by now. He wasn't sure why.

He'd been a wreck earlier, but now…his body felt lighter. The only heavy thing he sensed was the new ring on his finger. He still wasn't sure what to make of it, but its weight was soothing.

It was strange Goku didn't ask the dragon to just conjure up the ring himself. Marron must have worked hard on this thing. Knowing that  _did_  make it more special. He held it up into the light from above and admired its shimmer.

 _Gods_ …why didn't Goku fuck him earlier? He needed it. He really wanted the third-class to give it to him good and show him no mercy. He needed to be man-handled, and have Kakarot prove he meant the words that came from his mouth. Would Vegeta be like a woman then? He wasn't sure. Questions like that seemed meaningless after tonight.

 _Fuck, I'm horny_. He looked over at Goku, who was softly snoring. He always slept peacefully. Maybe he could meet Vegeta half-way with his needs. "Kakarot, wake up."

Goku mumbled. "Mmm?"

"Will you eat my ass?"

Goku blinked several times to focus on Vegeta. "Eat your what, baby?"

"My ass. Eat my ass."

Goku's closed his eyes. "I'm too tired…"

 _Ugh. Dammit._ "Fine. Go back to sleep, then."

"I'm sorry. Don't be too sad…The date's still not over. I'm gonna take you somewhere else after we wake up…"

That was news to Vegeta. "You really planned this out, didn't you?"

"Yeah…Hey Vegeta…"

"What?"

"I hope I'm better at sex than Frieza."

Vegeta laughed. He laughed until he was crying again. He didn't stop until he closed his eyes, and the last thing he remembered were the bright celestial lights hanging above them.


	10. Part Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you read too quickly, you'll miss it!

Several hours later, Goku lay awake in bed, staring at the bright northern lights above them. The sun wouldn't rise in this part of the world for months. The thought soothed him. There was no daybreak to wash away the events of last night.

He glanced over at Vegeta. Drool drifted down the side of his mouth. His gentle face crushed into the pillow. Vegeta normally woke up before he did, so it was a rare sight to see the Prince in such a vulnerable state. A soft snore made him stir in his sleep. He rolled over so his back faced Goku.

Goku pulled himself from the warmth of the bed to start the day. Well…it was still dark outside. But he felt well-rested enough to know he'd be bored if he stayed in bed. Once the last bit of the duvet slid away from his body, the cold grasped at his skin like a pair of claws. "Shit!" he yelled. His eyes bulged, and he looked over at Vegeta in fear. He was still asleep.

 _Why would Vegeta turn the fireplace off?!_ Goku grumbled and marched over to the other end of the room to start the fire again. Sighing, he sat on his haunches until the warmth burned through the cold at his fingertips and toes. There was a giant bearskin rug in the middle of the floor, and it felt heavenly against his bare feet.

He'd never been able to adapt to the cold. Briefly he wondered if there were any jackets in the closet they could borrow for later.

He looked down at the tent in his underwear.  _And what should I do about this little problem?_

Vegeta's pleas earlier in the night hadn't fallen upon deaf ears. Goku wanted him. Badly. He'd dreamt about how it would feel to be inside of his lover, giving him every inch of himself in hopes Vegeta would love it just as much. Images of sweet, tender lovemaking filled Goku's brain. All he had to do was shake Vegeta awake to have his way with him!

 _I've got to get these thoughts out of my head._  He peeled his clothes off and headed to the bathroom. It took a few minutes, but eventually the cold water shooting out of the shower head turned hot. The warm wetness on his skin was a pleasure. After the shower, he brushed his teeth with the complimentary brushes wrapped in plastic near the sink. Back in the main cabin, he pulled his underwear back on and let the heat from the fireplace thaw him out even further.

"Kakarot." A groggy voice called from behind him.

"Hey, sleepy head." Goku gave a shy wave from in front of the fireplace.

Vegeta fluttered his eyes open. "Is there a shower here?"

Goku pointed toward the bathroom door. "Thataway."

Vegeta dragged himself out of bed. He nearly fell to the floor like a dead weight. Goku jumped up to support him, but Vegeta clicked his tongue. "I'm fine." He stumbled, sleepy, to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

Goku searched the floor for Gohan's digital watch. The shiny face gleamed back at him to reveal the time. It was technically 9AM, even though it was pitch dark outside. Maybe Vegeta would like to have breakfast in town? Drowsiness grasped at him again. He rolled over onto the floor like a cat, and let the slow heat warming his body take over him. Things couldn't get much better than this.

"Wake up, Kakarot." Soft finger tips trailed against his hip.

Goku opened his eyes. "Mmm?"

Next to him kneeled Vegeta. A white bath towel was wrapped around his slim waist. "Kakarot," he repeated as a whisper. He pressed his flat palm against Goku's chest. "I need you."

"Need me…for what?" Goku was fully awake now, and knew perfectly well what Vegeta needed.

"I want to feel you inside of me." Vegeta let his nails trail along Goku's pectorals. The sensation shot straight to Goku's groin. "I want to go the whole way."

Goku gulped. Vegeta's wandering hand was now moving south, and fast. "I don't think we should right now."

The gentle touch turned into a scratch. "Fuck me, Kakarot! What's stopping you!" He grabbed onto Goku's shoulders and shook him like a madman. "I want to be stuffed like a fucking Thanksgiving turkey! Porked like a Christmas ham! How hard can that be!"

Goku sat up to scoot himself away. "It's not that simple!"

"Do you need me to show you how to do it?" Vegeta crawled toward him across the bearskin rug. The bath towel unraveled from around his waist and pooled around his knees.

 _It's too hot in here!_  "Vegeta…Don't you think things are moving too fast?"

Vegeta laughed. He rolled onto his back. "I'll wait here until you're ready." He relaxed his knees and spread his legs wide open.

Goku pressed his palm to his forehead in alarm.  _Oh my gosh, he's never done this before!_  He let his eyes roam over Vegeta's smooth thighs and in between to his cock and balls. He could even see the space in between his slightly parted ass cheeks. Vegeta had laid himself out like a buffet. Which was cruel, seeing as Goku loved to eat.

"Oh boy," Goku mumbled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. "You really want this, don't you?" His resolve was nearly kaput. He'd wanted their first time to be slow, sweet, and loving. More than anything, he wanted to show Vegeta he knew how to make love. But now…

He watched Vegeta's perfect chest heave with laughter. The Prince's hand trailed to his crotch, and he toyed with himself a bit. "Even after we got together a few months back," he said, "I always thought of you as this innocent, third-class hick from the forest."

Goku bit his lip. "Yeah?"

"Yes. But ever since that day you came to Capsule Corp and made me suck you off…" Vegeta tightened his grasp on his own cock and stroked upward. "I wanted to know if you could really live up to that moment when you had your dick inside of me. If you could really go through with it. You didn't."

Goku scooted a little closer. This was a new feeling for him…a mixture of arousal and anger. Vegeta knew all the right buttons to push to put Goku on edge. "You don't think I can really do it?" he asked.

"I've let very few men inside of me, Kakarot. Maybe you just can't live up to them."

 _Screw making love!_  "Prince Vegeta," Goku breathed, defeated. "May I have permission to fuck your brains out?"

"Yes."

Goku dove forward on the carpet, and planted his mouth in between his lover's legs. Taken unawares, Vegeta arched his back clear off the ground and cried out. He tasted incredible: the scent of fresh sweat, shower soap, and Vegeta's particular musk were all there. Goku pressed his tongue deeper and flicked against his puckered asshole.

Vegeta moaned in relief. He goaded him on. "Eat me, Kakarot."

Goku pressed Vegeta's right leg down to part him wider open. He lapped at the taut skin, tasting every shiver rolling and vibrating through Vegeta's body. "Gods, you taste good," Goku said, emphasizing the words with a series of quick tugs on his balls. Vegeta buried his fingers into Goku's scalp and clung to his head for dear life.

He gyrated his body in rhythm with Goku's licks. His clenching tightness weakened as the minutes passed by, accompanied by louder moans. Goku's tongue was past his sphincter and inside of him now, feeling him out. In and out and around. Goku had always wanted to do this. Just watch and feel Vegeta writhe beneath him as he pleasured the Prince with the simple twist of his tongue. He pulled away to nip on Vegeta's sack. "Feelin' good yet?"

Vegeta offered a weak whimper. Goku laughed, and attended to him again. To render Vegeta speechless was a skill few people could brag about. He drove his tongue deeper, until all he could do is flick it around deep in Vegeta's asshole and drool onto the rug.

"Uhhg, Kaka," Vegeta managed to get out. He freed his hands from Goku's scalp and clawed at the rug beneath them. Precum dripped from his tip and smeared against Goku's cheek. Goku could probably make him come, just like this.

He pulled his mouth away and watched his drool trail across the short space to drip on the floor. He took two fingers and pressed them deep inside Vegeta until his knuckles disappeared.

"Ah!" Vegeta lifted up off the floor again in surprise. Goku pounded into him in short, quick bursts. As much as he loved eating ass, he couldn't beat watching Vegeta's beautiful hole spasm around his hand. The fireplace cast a warm glow on Vegeta's sweaty body, and Goku imagined this must be what fucking a god was like. The Prince looked gorgeous panting against the floor like he was being tortured. Goku smiled and curled his fingers against the bundle of nerves inside him.

"Oh gods, I'm going to come." Goku watched Vegeta spasm, and spurt all over his own stomach. Goku could feel the orgasm in his fingertips, too, as Vegeta's hole sucked on his fingers. The Prince closed his eyes and groaned every second the white liquid dribbled out of him.

"Aww, I just got started," Goku said with a pout. He ignored the disappointed look on Vegeta's sweaty face and continued to finger him. The Prince wasn't getting off that easy. He licked his lips. "I haven't finished yet. Once I'm done, you're gonna have trouble walking straight."

Vegeta's lips curled up in pleasure. "Yes, Kakarot." His voice was weak. "Make me beg."

"Yes, sir!" Playful, Goku stuck his tongue out in mock-concentration. He removed his wet fingers out of Vegeta's ass, and lifted him up off the ground. In one motion, he flipped him over onto his stomach and slapped his ass hard for effect.

Vegeta yelped at the sting. "Keep doing that," he panted.

Happily, Goku obliged. His hand slapped Vegeta's right cheek until it burned red from the friction. In between slaps, he spread Vegeta's legs open wider, and used his free hand to finger him again.

Vegeta turned his head to look over his shoulder. His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. Goku laughed at the fruitless attempt. "You look so hot right now," he said, shoving a third finger into Vegeta. Vegeta's whitened knuckles twisted into the fur rug beneath them. With each short thrust inside of him, he gasped.

Goku couldn't believe how horny Vegeta was after coming only moments before. He was thrusting his hips against the rug just to have his dick touch something.  _He's never been this loud_ , Goku thought. All he wanted to do was bury himself in that ass and really let himself go. Prove to Vegeta he'd asked for more than what he'd bargained for. But to really make the experience worthwhile, he had to give Vegeta what he couldn't voice.

Goku powered up to Super Saiyan. Vegeta gasped, and shot a look over his shoulder. Goku knew even his fingers were bigger this way; Vegeta was tighter than ever around his hand.

"Please fuck me, Kakarot," Vegeta managed to cry.

"Oo, I'm not sure you're ready." Goku already felt his personality changing with the shift in his power. "Your ass is too tight for me to fit all the way in."

"Kaka…" Vegeta trailed off, losing his grasp on language again. He swallowed. "Please."

Goku shoved his own underwear off. He dipped forward. He replaced his fingers with the tip of his cock. Slowly, he inched his head into Vegeta's hole. A magnificent moan rolled out from the body beneath him. Goku sighed as he savored the warmth of Vegeta's wet back. Every gasp and every pant below him vibrated through his own chest. He slid his arms forward and laced his fingers with Vegeta's. Slow, he rocked only the tip of his cock in and out of the wetness, easing his way through the tight ring of muscle.

 _Oh…This feels amazing…_ The last time he was inside Vegeta, it lasted only a brief moment. This time, he could relish every thrust inside the smaller Saiyan's body. Vegeta cried beneath him. Goku knew he was hurting real bad, but gods, he was so unbelievably tight. Goku couldn't believe it was possible after all the licking and fingering from earlier. It was definitely different from having sex with a woman. Fucking a woman with a Super Saiyan cock was unimaginable. He wasn't sure if a normal human man could take this, either.

Vegeta crushed Goku's wrist between his fingers. "Do it already!"

 _Whoa, he's a stickler for punishment._  Goku sank himself deeper until he pushed a satisfied moan from the body beneath him. White spots blinked in and out of his vision once he pushed far enough to be balls deep. "Shit!" Goku coughed, as if surprised it would feel this good. Part of him wished he could watch himself slide in and out of Vegeta, but maybe that pleasure could be saved for another day. He rocked his hips back and forth, acclimating Vegeta to his enormous girth.

"Punish me," Vegeta said in a tiny voice.

Goku had been gung-ho about doing just that earlier, but seeing Vegeta's current state made him wary. His back heaved in short bursts. The Prince was having trouble keeping his breath. The empathetic part of Goku's heart broke at seeing his lover take so much at one time. All those times Vegeta fucked  _him_  mercilessly, how had he put up with it?

 _Because I still loved every second of it._ And with that, he lifted Vegeta off the floor and flung him onto the bed. He landed with a belly flop.

The Prince groaned at the loss of contact. "Stop being a pussy and fuck me already, Freiza!"

Goku paused. He was so horny and distracted, he thought he heard Vegeta say… _Nah_.

Goku pounced on him. He grabbed onto Vegeta's hair and tugged his head back far enough to bend his spine. "Shut-up!" he yelled. He smacked Vegeta's ass hard again, and this time Vegeta screamed out in pain. Without warning, Goku pushed himself to the hilt inside Vegeta and made him cry out again. His hips pistoned as fast as possible, using his grasp on Vegeta's scalp as leverage to pump to and fro against his body. He grunted at the friction. Vegeta was so godsdamn hot and tight around him, it was unbelievable.

Vegeta moaned long and low. "Yes, baby," he panted, "just like that."

Goku moaned at the affectionate word, and pulled on Vegeta's scalp until his upper body levitated a few inches above the bed. His well-muscled ass spasmed around his dick uncontrollably, and he wasn't sure how long he could keep it up. Something about seeing the Prince like this, completely and utterly submissive, and begging for him, stoked a masochistic fire within. "You fucking bitch," Goku growled, "I never knew how much you loved getting fucked in this tight little ass of yours."

The dirty words coming out of Goku's mouth must have done Vegeta in. He eagerly replied with, "Yea, treat me like a fucking whore."

For a split second, Goku had to think. He'd never thought of his love like a whore. Quite the opposite. But if Vegeta could get off on the fantasy, why couldn't he? Being Super Saiyan helped him plow past any more doubts in his mind. "You take cock like real slut, Vegeta. I bet you even like getting knocked around a little." Panting, Goku pulled himself out and flipped Vegeta onto his back. He slapped him clean across the face.

Vegeta arched his back and cried out in a mixture of pain and ecstasy. "Kakarot!" he yelled in shock.

"Shut-up!" Goku used his opposite hand to slap Vegeta across the face. "Shut the  _fuck_ up, Vegeta!"

The Prince gaped back at him with wide eyes. Something deep in Goku twisted in anger. Here Vegeta was, wanting him so badly in this way, loving it. Loving the feel of pain and pleasure all bundled up together. Goku smacked the smaller Saiyan across the face several times until his mouth bled.

"Mm, Kakarot," Vegeta groaned. He helplessly raised his arms in the air to grasp onto Goku's shoulders for support. His mouth opened and closed to form silent words.

Goku knew what he needed. He lifted the Prince's ass in the air and plowed right into him. He hooked Vegeta's ankles around his neck and pushed forward until the Prince was bent over himself. The pleasure was making Goku dizzy. All he wanted in the world was to come. "Vegeta, baby," he gasped. Vegeta looked so beautiful with his mouth open in wonder. His eyes were rolled back into his head.

Goku had to fight every fiber of his being to keep his eyes open. The bed smashed against the wall with his rhythm, and he saw small bits of the wall crack and fall behind the bed.  _Oh God._ They were mindlessly fucking now. Goku never believed such pleasure could rip through his body as to empty his mind of all coherent thought. Going by the drool dripping from Vegeta's slag mouth, he must be lost to his own nirvana as well.

Goku's balls clenched. He howled, and emptied himself deep into Vegeta's body. The orgasm rolled throughout him with a force he'd never felt before. Tears sprang to his eyes. Vegeta's asshole clenched tight around his cock, attempting to milk him of every last bit of essence he had. "Ugh, God," Goku groaned. He felt his own cum spurt out of Vegeta and spray onto both of their thighs.

He powered down from Super Saiyan and collapsed. They were an absolute mess, but he adored the feeling of wetness stuck between them. It wasn't until a minute later he felt the stinging sensation on his back. Vegeta's fingernails were firmly planted into his skin. Goku smiled. So the Prince wasn't the only one to leave this struggle hurt after all.

They lay pressed together like that long enough for Goku to lose track of time. With his ear pressed against Vegeta's chest, he concentrated on the Prince's heart rate. Over time it returned to a normal pace. Vegeta's fingers slid up from the middle of his back to his head. Goku expected to be punished for treating Vegeta so badly. Which was fine, since he could take it. But all he received were loving, tender rubs against his neck and scalp.

"Soo…" Goku blew out a hot puff of air. "How are ya?"

"Speechless."

"Me too," Goku said, ignoring the irony he committed. "You feel amazing, Vegeta."

" _Me_? Kakarot, I thought you were going to kill me." He paused. "You deserve a medal for that performance."

Goku laughed while trailing his hand down in between Vegeta's legs. "I really was hoping I'd make you come twice." He clenched Vegeta and felt he had a semi. He pumped his cock until it hardened from his touch. Vegeta spread his thighs open and allowed Goku to finish him off. It didn't take long—after only a few minutes, slow, but thick bursts of cum dribbled down Vegeta's cock to mingle with the stickiness already between his legs and on the sheets. He whimpered in what Goku assumed was relief at being shown mercy. Their screwing had crushed Vegeta's energy level down to the size of a pea.

Vegeta sighed. "Can we go back to sleep?"

"Sure." Goku curled closer to Vegeta. They'd have to catch dinner in town instead.

* * *

Goten was going to die.

Okay, that was an exaggeration. He had come downstairs for breakfast, and  _no one_  was there. He couldn't sense his father's ki, nor Vegeta's. His father hadn't come home at all last night, but that was a relief. He got his first good night's rest in months.

But now that he was in the kitchen, and there was NO breakfast ready, what was he going to do? Cook for himself? He couldn't remember the last time he did that. What was he _supposed_  to do, just eat a bowl of cereal? ONE bowl of cereal? Had the world gone mad? Where was his father? Had he left in the night to fight an adversary, and died?

Goten ran back upstairs to his bedroom. He scanned his computer desk for his cell phone. He dialed his dad's number. It went straight to voicemail. He dialed Vegeta's number. It rang, but no one picked up. Near tears, he called the only other adult he knew could help. "Aunt Bulma!" he screamed into the mouthpiece.

"Whoa, kid! What's wrong?" she asked.

"Dad is gone! I don't know where he is! And I'm so,  _so_  hungry!"

Bulma laughed. "Oh, your dad didn't tell you about his date? He went out with Vegeta last night. I guess he decided to stay out pretty late." Bulma mumbled. "Lucky him…"

"B-but! But! BUT!" Goten sputtered and flapped his arms in the air. "I don't have breakfast! What am I going to do? My father left his only son here to die!"

"Jesus Goten, you have an older brother. Anyway, you can head over here for breakfast if you're that desperate for food."

"Thank you, Lord Dende!" Goten raised his hands in the air. "Praise be to him!"

"What a weird kid," Bulma said under her breath. "Just head over before you really lose it."

"Thanks!" Goten hung up the phone. Hastily, he put on his clothes and brushed his hair. He ran downstairs. When he passed his father's bedroom door, he skidded to a stop. A small, crumpled piece of paper was on the floor.

He quirked his brow, and picked it up. "The List?" he read at the top of the paper. He shrugged, and folded it closed. Without a second thought, he placed it on his father's doorknob handle.  _Hope that thing isn't too important!_  he thought. He dashed out the front door and flew straight toward Capsule Corp. Hopefully he made it there before succumbing to starvation.


	11. Part Eleven

 

"Come on Vegeta, we gotta hurry up!" Goku pulled Vegeta along the snow-covered path in pitch darkness. It'd taken Vegeta forever to shower and get dressed again. Goku hadn't been joking earlier when he guaranteed Vegeta wouldn't be able to walk straight. Literally, he couldn't put one foot in front of the other without a sharp pain ripping through his ass.

"I'm walking as fast as I can!" Vegeta hobbled alongside Goku, but just couldn't keep up.

"Just let me carry you there," Goku whined.

But Vegeta's pride was too big to allow that. It was one thing to be carried while flying. That was akin to being treated like royalty. But to have your boyfriend carry you because he turned your asshole into a war zone only hours earlier? That shit was just embarrassing. "I can take a little pain."

"You're a real trooper." Goku laced his fingers with Vegeta's and slowed his pace down to a crawl. They'd never walked around holding hands before.  _Kakarot, why do you have to be such a girl? Whatever makes you happy, I guess._

"Would it be easier if we both flew into town?" Goku asked.

"No. I…like this." Vegeta tightened his grasp of Goku's hand.

"I love you, Vegeta."

Vegeta sighed. "I love you too."

Goku squealed softly. Vegeta rolled his eyes. Is this how it was going to be from now on? Just throwing around "I love you's" like candy at a child's birthday party? Was that normal? Part of him _did_  enjoy saying the three little words, but outside in the real world, they sounded different. Maybe it was something he had to get used to over time.

The closer they walked toward the quaint, snowy town, the heavier Goku felt in his palm.  _Are we going to walk down the street holding hands?_  They stepped under a gas lamp and turned onto the main street that cut through town.

Goku pointed to a storefront across the street. The weathered sign in front read 'The Pig's Pen'. "That place looks good, don't you think?"

Vegeta shrugged. They crossed the street and entered the building. Hot air blew onto them as soon as they stepped foot through the door, much to Vegeta's relief. Inside was a cramped tavern half-full with patrons. The room resembled something out of a European fantasy novel, what with the wooden round tables and ancient hearth present.

Goku left Vegeta at a booth near the back of the room. "I think I have to go to the bar to order. I'll be right back, okay?" He let his hand linger atop Vegeta's for a few seconds longer, then walked away.

A warmth stirred in Vegeta's chest. Never had anyone been so tender toward him. Not even Bulma.

"Heh, did you see the pair that just walked in?"

Vegeta's ears pricked up. His hearing wasn't great, but his sense was more attuned than the average human's. And he  _definitely_ possessed super-human abilities at sensing when people were talking shit about him. Whoever was speaking was sitting behind him.

"More faggots?"

"Yep. It must be tourist season already."

Goku returned to the table carrying two giant, steaming sourdough bread bowls. "All they have right now is soup, but it smells pretty good!"

The chipper arrival soured Vegeta's appetite. "Kakarot, did you hear what they said at the table behind us?"

Goku was already sitting down and a third of the way through his bread bowl when he heard Vegeta. He lifted his head to look deep into Vegeta's eyes. "No, I didn't hear anything."

"They called us faggots."

Goku froze his hand. His soup-filled spoon hovered in the air.  _Oh Kakarot. I can see the wheels turning in your head ever-so slowly. Do you even know what that word means? You poor thing._  Vegeta let the silence fill the space between them. He hoped Goku understood. For Vegeta, it would be too catty for him to voice his concern. Too vulnerable. A prince should never get his feathers ruffled by the mindless chirping of commoners.  _But you're not a prince, Kakarot. What are you going to do about it?_

Goku shook his head. He set down his spoon, and rose from the table. Vegeta looked up at him with a shit-eating grin on his face. His partner only gazed back at him blankly, then casually strode to the table behind them.

Vegeta didn't even bother turning his head to watch the show. Instead, he dug his spoon into his bread bowl and stuffed his face.

"Hi there!" That was Goku's voice. "I heard you two had something to say to us?"

"Wuh—what?" And  _that_  was the sound of an idiot pissing himself.

"You didn't hear me?" Goku said. "I  _said,_ 'I heard you two had something to say to us.' So what was it?"

"We didn't say anything to you guys," said the second man at the table.

"But I think you did. Are you calling me a liar?" Goku asked.

"No sir."

Goku paused. "Hey, is that your wedding band? May I see it?"

Vegeta could hear one of the cowards breathing in and out. The man was about to have a heart attack. "Why do want to see it?"

"We both know the smart thing for you to do is to do what I  _say_. So show it to me."

The whole table fell silent. Vegeta wished he had eyes in the back of his head. He sensed one of the men removing something from his hand. "Ah-ah! Don't take it off. Just put your hand into  _my_ hand," Goku said.

_Wow. Kakarot is a monster._ Vegeta got turned on a little just by the hint of violence in Goku's voice.

"This is a really nice ring. Do you love your wife?"

"Yes, sir."

"Have you ever held hands with another man before?"

The man blubbered a bunch of nonsense before spitting out, "No."

"What's it like holding  _my_  hand? Pretty nice, right?"

"Um—" A bone cracked. The man screamed, but his friend covered his mouth. "You broke my finger!" he yelled hoarsely.

"Be quiet." Another long pause. "I hope you don't mind if I keep this. Thanks!" Goku walked back to their table, sat down, and continued his meal.

Vegeta grinned so hard, he felt like his face would split in two. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Hey." Goku finally smiled back at him. He held open his free palm. "Would you like this?"

Vegeta stuck up his middle finger. "Put it on."

Goku slid the ring firmly onto Vegeta's finger. It fit perfectly.

"We should hurry up," Goku said. He munched on the last piece of fluffy crust on his plate. "I've wanted to take you somewhere special that's on the other side of the world. It's going to close soon!"

"Fine." Vegeta twirled his hand around to stare at the ring in admiration.  _I never knew he had it in him._

* * *

Once more, Goku had the pleasure of carrying Vegeta in his arms as they flew to their next destination.  _He looks like a little kid_ , Goku thought. Vegeta's hands clenched the front of Goku's shirt while his wide eyes took in the rippling ocean beneath them. He could have IT'd them across the world, but then he would've missed out on this moment. Gently, he kissed a line along Vegeta's strong jaw. "We're almost there."

Vegeta pressed his cheek flush against Goku's. "Do you enjoy spoiling me?"

"I love it."

"Good. Keep it up."

Goku sighed at the warmth against his face. "Vegeta, be honest. I didn't hurt you too much this morning, did I?"

"Did you forget I'm a warrior? I've taken a pounding before."

Heat rose to Goku's face. "That's not what I meant.  _That_  part was great. I meant all of the, you know…slapping…and calling you a slut…"

Vegeta rubbed his nose against Goku's cheek. "Would you feel better if I washed your mouth out with soap later?"

"I'm being serious."

"You worry too much. I enjoyed myself immensely."

Goku frowned. He wanted to ask  _so_  badly if the name he heard come out of Vegeta's mouth was just his imagination.  _Will he get mad at me if I bring it up? But if it's a real problem, we should definitely talk about it, right? Dammit, what if it was just a joke? That doesn't make sense, though. Vegeta doesn't have a good sense of humor._ "'Geta, I have a question. It's pretty silly. But uh, in the middle of sex, did you call me Frieza at one point?"

Vegeta inhaled slowly, then held his breath. Goku panicked.  _Why isn't he saying anything?!_

"Haha, Kakarot. Very funny."

"Huh?"

Vegeta's shoulders bounced in silent laughter. "I'm sorry. It takes me a second to tell when you're joking."

"I wasn't joking, Vegeta. You said, and I quote, 'Stop being a pussy and fuck me already, Frieza.'"

Vegeta burst out into laughter. "I did not!"

"You did!" Goku didn't  _mean_  to yell it. But he hated being gas lighted!

"Kakarot," he said, still laughing and catching his breath, "maybe I said something strange, but I doubt I would say  _that_. You have to remember I was pretty incapacitated at the time."

"Uh…" Goku wasn't sure how to respond to that. Maybe he  _did_  imagine it. Even if it did happen, what would that change if Vegeta himself didn't remember it at all? Should he be concerned? Goku had plenty of experience saying things he didn't mean, so maybe it was similar to that.  _I hope._ All of the possible implications of what Vegeta said were terrifying.

So he decided to not think about it anymore. At least for now. Technically they were still on their date, and so far it'd been perfect! Well, except for Vegeta crying. And Vegeta confessing he thought of himself as trash. And Vegeta telling him he'd willingly had sex with Frieza one time. And Vegeta calling him Frieza in the throes of mind-blowing sex. Oh, and that guy that called them slurs. But other than that, everything was perfect!

"Are you okay?" Vegeta's cheerful demeanor had evaporated.

"Oh, yeah! Sorry, I was thinking too hard again."

"Mmhmm."

Goku could have sworn Vegeta stopped himself from poking fun at Goku's intelligence. The fact he knew to censor himself made Goku feel…flattered. "Anyway, we're here now! You're going to love this place!"

* * *

Out of all the places in the world, Vegeta would've never guessed Goku would pick an art gallery.

It was overwhelming. It wasn't a huge gallery by any means, but judging by the enormous crowds milling in and out the front doors, it was the cultural heartbeat of the European city they landed in. Priceless, hundreds of years old paintings hung on the walls. Vegeta had to shove small children out of the way to get close enough to look at them. Good thing he didn't have a soft spot for kids like Goku.

Every painting he stared at seemed familiar, yet distant. He hated and enjoyed the feeling at the same time. It made him feel insignificant, but in a good way.

"Wow, how long do you think it took to paint this one?" Goku asked.

Vegeta shrugged, and returned his attention back to the French modernist painting he was currently preoccupied with. Goku was obviously out of his comfort zone being in a space where people generally didn't say much, and spent hours staring at pictures that didn't even move. It was stupid, really, when Vegeta thought about it. But he felt just as human as everyone else in the gallery. He, too, was under the spell of the romantic art museum.

"Do you know what this one is called?"

Vegeta whipped his head around to find the source of the voice. A tall brunette stood next to Goku. She wore a slinky white dress that fit in all the right places, and Vegeta immediately knew she was trouble.  _Not this again_ , he thought.

"Uh," Goku blushed at having been put on the spot. "No."

"It's called 'Intérieur, femme en bleu fouillant dans une armoire'. Or in English," she said with a sly smile, "Interior, woman in blue searching in a cupboard."

"That's a weird name. And why didn't you just tell me the English name first?"

The woman was taken aback. "The original title is in French."

Goku blinked. "Why?"

Vegeta snickered. Usually the women that swarmed Goku in public didn't try to impress him by pulling from a well of knowledge. Whoever this woman was, she was in for a rude awakening. The exchange was almost as interesting as the painting itself.

"Why?  _Why_? Because it was made in France!" she exclaimed.

"Ooh, that makes sense." Goku squinted at the painting as if the information she revealed would change his perception of it. "So the name…is just a description…of what's happening in the painting."

Now the woman blushed. "Yes, that happens often. Especially if the painting is directly from observation, and part of a series."

Goku smiled. "If it was me, I would've named it something cooler."

"Um…okay…"

"What is the lady in the painting looking for, anyway?"

" _What_ is she looking  _for_? I don't understand," the woman said. She was shaking her head now. Malfunctioning.

Vegeta kept his mouth shut.  _Kakarot, you are a genius!_

Goku clicked his tongue. "Did you even look at the painting?! She's searching for something inside of the cupboard, but we can't even see what it  _is_  because she's in the  _way_!" Goku crossed his arms and frowned. "It doesn't make any sense. Why would someone even paint this!"

The woman clutched the white pearls around her neck. "I…I…It's an observation piece! This is a painting of Félix Vallotton's wife!"

"His wife? He decided to paint his wife and didn't even bother to show her face? What's the point in that?"

The woman was stunned into silence. Vegeta wheeled around and grabbed Goku's hand. "I think it's time to go, my  _love_." The woman looked at Vegeta, only now noticing him for the first time. Goku grinned at Vegeta's sudden affection, unaware of what was really happening. Vegeta pulled the larger Saiyan away from the painting.

"Vegeta," Goku said in a low voice, "I think you would make a good artist."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you like it a lot, right?"

Vegeta laughed. "It takes a lot more than liking something to be good at it." He mulled over what he said in his mind. It sounded strange coming out of his mouth.

They approached another painting. "I've seen this one before," Vegeta said. The canvas was roped off, so he could only get as close as a few feet away from it. "It's by Monet."

"Wow, this one is—" Goku tripped on the smooth concrete floor. He face planted. His elbow landed smack dab in the middle of the painting.

"Oh fuck!" Vegeta grabbed his hair, absolutely horrified.

Goku frowned. He dragged his elbow out of the giant hole he'd created. He yelped, and pulled himself up from the floor. "V-Vegeta!"

"How did you—why—?!" Vegeta scanned the room for any witnesses. A group of tourists congregated in a corner were already taking pictures of the damage.

"Shit, Vegeta!" Goku was all tangled up in the rope around the painting. He flailed around like a fish caught in a net. "I'm stuck! Help me!"

"Kakarot, this painting probably costs millions of dollars!"

"We've got to get out of here." Goku crawled up from the floor and grabbed Vegeta's hand. "Let's go!"

They both raced backwards through the gallery. The ropes and the metal stands attached to Goku's legs trailed behind him like the world's worst wedding train. Their clanks and clatters echoed throughout the small gallery space. The noise was horrible enough to confuse any innocent bystanders that a gunman had entered the gallery.

Museum security chased after the duo. "Stop right there!" A fat man wearing a uniform screamed and pointed at them with his nightstick. "You're going to pay for what you've done!"

"You'll never get me alive!" Goku screamed. They were almost to the exit!

A younger museum guard jumped from the shadows and tackled Vegeta. The Prince yelled in surprise, and punched the man in the stomach. "Fuck off!"

The guard crumpled to the floor like a rag doll.  _Shit, I hope I didn't kill him!_  Vegeta thought.

They crashed through the entrance doors. Glass sprayed everywhere. A man waiting in line outside screamed as the shards rained on his face. "My eyes! I'm never going to be able to see my friends or family ever again!"

"Sorry, Mister!" Goku yelled. He picked Vegeta up and blasted away into the air.

Goku carried Vegeta to a hill on the outskirts of the city. The landing was nasty, and Vegeta ended up with his face buried in a mound of dirt. "Goddammit, Kakarot, what the fuck was that back there!"

"I'm so sorry, Vegeta." Goku sat on his butt and busied himself with untangling the ropes from his legs. "It was an accident!"

Vegeta brushed the dirt off the side of his face. "I've never known you to be that clumsy in battle!"

"I know, I know. I was just really nervous in that place." Frustrated, he grabbed a piece of rope between his hands and tugged until it was so taut, it broke. He sighed as the rest of the rope fell from his ankles and freed him. "I hope I didn't ruin your experience. I really wanted it to be special since I know you like art so much."

Vegeta titled his head. Goku looked cute, sitting in the pile of ropes like a lost child. He really did try his best. "It's fine, Kakarot."

"Really?! You're not mad at me?"

"Nah." He tenderly rubbed Goku's shoulder. "You're like a big, stupid, cute bull in a china shop."

Goku gave him a lop-sided grin. "Thanks, Vegeta."

Vegeta looked westward. The city basked in the afternoon light. Ancient stone buildings mingled with modern metal skyscrapers. "Is this the end of our date?"

Goku blushed and scratched the back of his head. "It's all I had planned. Did I do a good job?"

"A  _great_ job."

"Oh, thank Kami." He leaned back so his head landed in Vegeta's lap. "Whew, all of that made me hungry again. Want a second dinner?"

Vegeta shrugged. "What the fuck, why not."

* * *

They strode down the hill to get back to town. Vegeta, feeling picky, decided they should just grab some food from a local salumeria. They bought enough meat, bread and Chianti for the butcher to ignore that they didn't know a lick of the local language. The butcher even offered them some free tobacco, which Vegeta refused after noticing Goku's judgmental glare.

After their purchase, they returned to the rolling green hills outside of town for a picnic. Vegeta tried to be flirty and hand-feed Goku slices of pastrami, but after getting bitten several times he gave up on the venture all together.

"Kakarot," Vegeta said, popping open their bottle of wine, "I wish we didn't have to go home."

"Really?" Goku gulped down the rest of the sandwich he made. "I guess our date doesn't have to end right now if you don't want it to."

"Do you mind if we talk a little?"

"Of course not. I love talking with you."

Vegeta glanced away. He'd lost count of how many compliments he'd been showered with in the past 24 hours. "Thank you."

Goku rolled onto his stomach, and propped his chin into his hand. "You know, Vegeta, I was just thinking back to a few months ago before all of this happened. You know what's different about you compared to then?"

He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer. "No."

"You're a lot more relaxed."

"You make it sound like I used to be a complete spaz."

"Well, yeah. Kinda." Vegeta flipped him off, and Goku giggled. "No, that's a good thing! You're very cute when you're upset."

"You're making me upset right now!"

"Uh-uh. I don't think you are. You're really happy right now. I can tell."

Vegeta had to concede to  _that_  accusation. Even though Goku punched a hole through a priceless, irreplaceable painting, Vegeta couldn't find the effort to be upset. With the setting sun casting a golden halo around Goku's hair, he looked even more angelic than usual.

_I'm turning into such a disgusting sap. And I don't care._ "You're right," he said. Vegeta stared at Goku's mouth until it quirked into a smile again. "You figured out how to not piss me off."

Goku pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! I win!"

Vegeta shook his head in shame. They passed the bottle of Chianti back and forth a few times, interrupting the exchange with a few swigs. "What do you think everyone else is doing back home?" Goku asked.

"The same thing they always do. Your friends don't change up their routines very much."

Goku nodded, a bit slow from his buzz. "Yeah, you're probably right." He paused. "Oh shit, Vegeta, I forgot about Goten!"

"Huh? What about him?"

"No one made him breakfast this morning!" Goku pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Ugh, I didn't even notice my phone died!"

"He's almost an adult. He'll live. Even animals in the wild learn how to survive with very little."

Goku gave him a grave expression. "I'm not so sure about that."

"He's fine. Don't let him ruin this evening."

Goku put his phone down. "I guess, if you say so…" He looked over at Vegeta. "Hey, I thought we weren't going to be distracted!"

"I'm just checking my phone. I had it on silent until now. Don't get your panties in a twist." Vegeta flicked his thumb over the face of his cell. "I got a lot of missed calls from your kid. But I'm sure he's fine."

"Poor thing. Let me call him."

"Give me a second. It looks like I also got a text from—" Vegeta shut-up.

"From who, Vegeta?"

"Um. Yamcha."

Goku raised a brow. "What did he say?"

Vegeta continued to scan his phone. "He just said he's sorry. About the other day."

Goku drummed his fingers against his thigh. "I visited him the morning before our date. I, uh, was going to talk to him about what he did."

"Oh?" A light blush stained Vegeta's face.

"Yeah. He was really apologetic, so everything's fine like you said. He acted super weird, though. He mentioned something about a 'threesome'. Do you know what that is?"

Vegeta whole face was red now. "He said he wanted to have a threesome with you and me?"

"Why are you acting so funny? And what's a 'threesome' anyway?" Goku popped another piece of meat into his mouth and chewed.

"Kakarot, you know what a threesome is. You said so yourself—that you had sex with those two girls when you were 18 years old."

Goku's eyes widened. " _That's_  a threesome? Sex with two women at the same time?!"

"They don't have to be women."

Now it was Goku's turn to blush. "So, um…Yamcha was telling me he wanted to…do stuff…with you and me? At the same time?"

Vegeta played with the now empty wine bottle in his hand. He couldn't look Goku directly in the face. "The impression I got when I visited him was that he wasn't just interested in me. I'm sure the same thing I experienced would've happened to you, had you been there."

Goku stared off into the distance. "Huh." He scratched his head. "Huh," he said again. He stuffed more meat into his mouth. "…Huh."

_I wish I could read your mind right now!_  Vegeta continued to spin the bottle around in his hand. He had to tread lightly around this subject. He hadn't come to any conclusions about Yamcha's proposition either. But he assumed Goku would never be interested in a threesome. He was a paragon of monogamy. Even when the man was dead, he didn't get his dick wet since he knew it would upset his wife. All things considered, the threesome Goku had as a teenager was probably a whim based on ignorance. To complicate matters more, Yamcha was the third-class's childhood friend. Most likely he'd never thought of him in a sexual way at all.

Yep. There was no way it could ever happen.

"What do you think about us having a threesome, Vegeta?"

_Shit! Shit! What's the right way to respond!_ "What do  _you_  think about it, Kakarot?"

Goku wrinkled his nose. "Well…I'm kinda pissed off. I love Yamcha, but at Bulma's party a few months back he made a big fuss when I said I didn't like women. And now he likes men all of a sudden?" Nervous, Goku chewed on the end of his thumb. "Do you think he's trying to play a joke on me?"

_No Kakarot, nothing about my visit to his apartment was funny._ "I don't think so. He seemed pretty… _sincere_  when he came onto me. Besides, I'm sure he still likes women. Not everyone gets stuck on one thing."

"Hmm. Even so, I think it sounds pretty weird. And awkward. And I've never thought of Yamcha before in  _that_ way. So I can't see it happening."

There. There was Vegeta's answer. "That makes sense."

"But, ah, I don't know. The more I think about it…it sounds like it could be fun? I don't know." Goku stared at something fascinating on the tip of his boot. "Would you, uh, think differently of me if I  _was_  interested?"

Vegeta licked his lips. "Not at all."  _Shit, I hope that didn't come off as too whorish. Kakarot just gave me the best sex of my life this morning, and I'm already gunning to jump in bed with another man._

Goku raised a brow. "You wouldn't see that as cheating?"

"Not if we mutually agree to do it together. And set boundaries."

"What do you mean by that?" Vegeta noticed Goku's pupils were slightly dilated. All of this talk of a threesome captivated him, but the Prince wasn't sure if the fascination was out of curiosity or morbid interest.

Perhaps the best way for Vegeta to approach this was to be as simple and clinical as possible. "It's a good idea to agree on what things we would and wouldn't want to do with Yamcha."

Goku leaned closer. "Like what kind of things?"

"Oh, I don't know!" Vegeta waved his hand in the air. "Like whether or not you would be okay if I gave him a blowjob."

"So you're saying you  _do_  want to give him a blowjob."

"I'm just giving hypothetical scenarios!"

A strange shadow came over Goku's face. "What if we gave him one at the same time?" He paused. "Hypothetically."

"I would be okay with that."  _Holy shit, I would be more than okay with that._

"I think I would be too." The sinister look on Goku's face disappeared, and was replaced with a small grin. "I think I get it now!"

"Good."

"We should call Yamcha! It doesn't make any sense to talk about this without including him." Goku reached for Vegeta's phone and snatched it from his palm before he could react.

"What?! No!" Vegeta lunged on top of Goku. Unfortunately, Goku's arms were longer than Vegeta's, so Goku easily kept him out of reach. "Stop it! Don't call him! You're going to embarrass me!"

"Wow, you must think Yamcha's pretty cute to fight this much!" Goku went through Vegeta's contacts and called Yamcha. "I hope he isn't too busy right now!"

"Oh my Gods, stop it Kakarot! I'm serious!"

"Hey Yamcha, glad you picked up! Yeah, this is Goku calling from Vegeta's phone. Hold on, I'll put you on speaker phone."

Steam rose from Vegeta's ears. "I can't believe you!"

"Um, hello?" Yamcha's voice rose from the phone.

"Vegeta's here right next to me!" Goku wrapped his arms around Vegeta. "Whoa!" Goku dodged Vegeta from almost biting down on his neck. "Be nice, Veggie!"

"How are you both?" Yamcha's voice was strained.

"Pretty good. I took Vegeta out on a date, but he wanted to keep the party going. So, um, we decided to call and see if you wanted to hang out tonight."

_Hang out? HANG OUT?_ Vegeta wanted to dig a shallow grave on the hill they sat on and bury himself. No one in their right mind would let Goku plan a threesome. But here it was, happening right before him. Goku didn't even communicate he was on board with it!

"Oooh." Yamcha didn't respond for a long while. In Vegeta's heart of hearts, he hoped the reception had dropped. But of course, he rarely got his way. "What did you have in mind for tonight?"

"You remember when you mentioned that threesome to me?"

Vegeta screamed, "Shut-up, Kakarot!"

"Anyway…Vegeta and I just started discussing it, and I think we're interested. Right, Vegeta?"

_Cocksucker!_ He didn't want to say  _yes,_  because he had some fucking subtly and class. But he couldn't say no because that would just be a goddamn lie. "Uhh…I am…interested…"

"Oh, wow." Yamcha laughed awkwardly. "Umm, okay."

_Great. Because of Kakarot's way with words, Yamcha probably isn't even interested anymore._  "We were just discussing it, is all," Vegeta said in his defense.

"No, it's fine. I'm, um, glad you decided to be open to…having some fun tonight."

Vegeta buried his face in his hands.

"Great!" Goku pointed both fingers forward as if Yamcha were standing there in front of him. "Vegeta and I wanted to decide what to do with each other. And what's off-limits." Goku gave a thumbs up to Vegeta, proud for remembering the highlight of their previous conversation.

"Goku, that's very thoughtful of you. But how about we just hang out a bit first? And by "hang out", I actually mean hang out, and not, uh, you know. Have sex."

"That sounds good to me. I can IT us there once we're done with dinner."

"Sweet. See you soon." The phone clicked once Yamcha ended the call.

Goku stuffed the rest of the food down his throat. He chewed happily, until he saw Vegeta curled on the ground in the fetal position. "Aw, Vegeta, don't be like that."

"I didn't know we were going to do it  _tonight!_ "

"Is that too soon?"

"Uh—I guess not—"

Goku's eyes narrowed. "You're attracted to Yamcha, right?"

Vegeta scoffed. "He's not too bad to look at."

"Okay. That's good. The thing is, I don't know for sure how I feel about the whole thing. But I'm willing to try it out." Goku slurped down the last pepperoni slice. He gathered up their trash. "Do you feel jealous at all?"

"I know you wouldn't do anything to betray me, so no."

"I feel the same way." Goku licked his teeth. "I feel like I  _should_ be jealous, though. That you're attracted to him. By the way, is that a recent thing?"

Vegeta wasn't sure if he should tell Goku the  _whole_  truth. He hadn't thought once about Yamcha before that day he visited him alone. Maybe he was fucked in the head, but the prospect of banging a man who dated his ex turned him on. Not only that, but the fact he was pivotal in Goku's life as well made the circumstance all the more…devious. Like he could snatch away this innocent relationship Goku held, and tear it apart layer by layer to reveal what it really was at the center. Animalistic attraction.

But that would be a disturbing thought to express aloud to Goku before they even started the deed. So he said, "I always thought he looked fine. It's the idea of being with the  _both_  of you that entertains me."

"Huh. I don't get it, but maybe I will later." He held onto Vegeta's hand, and IT'd them across the world to Yamcha's place.

* * *

_This is weird. This is really, really, really weird,_ Goku thought.

It took only ten minutes being at Yamcha's apartment for things to get a bit freaky for Goku. Yamcha played music, which helped him mellow out a bit. Goku bragged about all of the places he took Vegeta on their date, sans the part where Vegeta cried and Goku tore a hole in an antique painting. Yamcha laughed and blushed a lot, even though Goku hadn't said much that was funny.

Goku said something—he didn't remember what—but when he turned his head to gauge Yamcha's reaction, the man looked back at him with a humorless expression. Goku envisioned it happening before it did. Seconds later, Yamcha pressed his mouth against his own.

_This is so weird! This is Yamcha! Yamcha is kissing me right now!_ Goku felt Yamcha's soft mouth work against him. It didn't last long—he pulled away from Goku and stared back at him with half-lidded eyes.

"Wow," Goku said. He blushed.

"Yeah." Yamcha's voice was so low, Goku barely heard it.

The silence was killing him. Vegeta sat on the opposite side of the couch, staring at him with an expression he couldn't quite read. Was Vegeta upset with him?

"Kiss him again," Vegeta said.

_Is he speaking to me or Yamcha?_  The impulse to kiss flooded his senses. He leaned forward. He met Yamcha halfway this time, and pressed firmly back against him. Goku panicked—he had crossed a boundary with his childhood friend he could never renege from. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Could it be neither? Cautiously, he cradled Yamcha's strong jaw to feel if the skin there was as soft as his lips.

Yamcha moaned. He took Goku's gesture as an invitation to explore his mouth further. It was strange, making out with a man who wasn't Vegeta. Goku had never been able to completely comprehend his sexual preferences: he'd been attracted to Chi-Chi, but didn't experience the same thrill being around her like with Vegeta. She didn't have a firm jaw he could touch, nor rippling muscles he could grasp between his hands. Goku was comfortable assuming he didn't like women, but never believed he preferred men.

Until now. He was going to break the damn zipper on his jeans if Yamcha kept this up. Eerily, as if his friend read his mind, Yamcha palmed the bulge in his pants to confirm Goku's revelation. Goku groaned, and Yamcha broke the kiss.

_Yep. I'm definitely gay._

"Vegeta, come over here," Yamcha said without breaking his gaze with Goku. Vegeta obliged. Goku watched Vegeta carefully crawl across the couch to sit beside him. Once more, Goku couldn't read the look on Vegeta's face. At the most, he looked curious.

"Show me how you kiss Goku," Yamcha said.

Vegeta's trance broke. He cupped Goku's chin in his hand. Goku gasped as Vegeta ravaged his mouth. While Yamcha was soft and tender with him, Vegeta's kiss in comparison was an assault. Goku closed his eyes when he felt the pressure of a second mouth fighting to kiss him as well.

Goku had to brace himself against the couch. Vegeta and Yamcha took turns kissing him on his lips, face, and alongside his neck. At one point both of their tongues were inside his mouth fighting for dominance; Goku accepted defeat and let them push him onto his back.

Vegeta pulled away to catch his breath. "Kakarot," he huffed. Goku watched him lick his lips. "Are you okay with this?"

Goku yelped. Yamcha was nipping on his earlobe. "Y-yes," he said.

Yamcha pulled away to whisper into Goku's ear. "Let me know if you want to stop."

Goku shifted on his back. "Um, I want…" He felt awkward having two sets of eyes on him. "I want Yamcha to kiss Vegeta."

Vegeta smirked. Before Yamcha could even react, Vegeta grabbed the back of his head and smashed their mouths together. Yamcha grunted and countered Vegeta's strength with his own.

_Holy shit_. Goku gaped at Vegeta and Yamcha's furious make-out session. Goku pulled himself up and scooted farther down the couch. Once the space cleared, Vegeta straddled Yamcha waist. Goku had never been so turned on and confused his whole life: here his lover was, basically riding another man's dick with his clothes on. Mentally Goku kicked himself for not tearing them apart. Shouldn't he be jealous? In this situation he just couldn't see a hint of betrayal from either of them. All he felt was a tinge of guilt at being turned on by the love of his life dry humping one of his best friends.

_Wow, Yamcha is really hot._ Goku watched intently as Vegeta reacted to Yamcha's every touch. He would squeeze hard on Vegeta's ass to make the Prince gasp and break the kiss, then pull away to smile wickedly into his eyes. Goku realized Yamcha used Vegeta's smaller size as an advantage, basically manhandling him in various ways to get different reactions from him. At one point, Yamcha trailed the tip of his finger alongside Vegeta's ear, which made the smaller Saiyan gasp for air. Yamcha used the moment to dip down and suck on Vegeta's neck.  _Geez, he's good_ , Goku thought.

Vegeta's pocket buzzed. Yamcha pulled his mouth off of Vegeta. "Your phone," he said, short of breath.

Vegeta groaned in protest. He pulled out his phone and looked at the screen. "It's Bulma."

"Uh…" Yamcha looked horrified.

Vegeta stared at Yamcha and Goku, as if one of  _them_  should be responsible for answering. "Well?!" he spat.

"It might be important. We've been gone for a long time," Goku said. He was surprised by how dry his mouth felt.

Vegeta answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Vegeta! What's going on!" Goku could hear Bulma yelling through the speaker. "I tried to call Goku but his phone is dead. Goten has been here freaking out for most of the day."

Vegeta rubbed the space between his eyes. "Kakarot and I just decided to stay out longer than planned."

"When will you be back?"

He looked at Yamcha. "Sometime tomorrow."

"Ugh! You could've given me a heads up, you know! Or at least given Goten a heads up. Can I speak with Goku?"

Vegeta passed the phone over to Goku. Goku mouthed  _no_ , but Vegeta just closed Goku's palm around the phone. Goku stared at his hard-on. Was he really going to talk to Bulma like  _this_? He had to end the conversation fast. "Hey, Bulma!"

"Goku! I know you like to go MIA a lot, but I thought you were going to be different from now on!"

There went his boner. "I'm sorry, Bulma! I was going to call Goten earlier, but I got distracted." He honestly did feel bad about that.

"Don't tell  _me_. Tell that to Goten. He's been worried sick about you!"

"Um, tell Goten I'm really sorry. I lost track of time. Really!" Goku scratched the back of his head, hoping his sincerity came through. "I promise we'll be back tomorrow. Is it okay if he stays over at Capsule Corp?"

"Of course it's fine," Bulma said, her anger slipping into slight annoyance. "It's just that when you have kids, you can't be as spontaneous, you know? But Goten  _is_  almost an adult…" She sighed. "Really, he'll be fine. I'm glad I got to speak with you. I'll relay the information to him. He'll have fun spending time with Trunks anyway."

"Yeah, I bet," Vegeta murmured.

"Okay, thanks Bulma!" Goku pulled the phone away from his ear to end the call, but was interrupted when Bulma spoke again.

"Where are you two right now anyway? I hear music in the background."

Goku bit his lip, and looked to Vegeta and Yamcha for help.

Yamcha mouthed  _fuck_ , and stared up at the ceiling. "They're with me, Bulma. We're just hanging out."

Vegeta looked like he was two seconds away from slapping Yamcha into the next dimension. "You idiot!" he whispered.

Goku wasn't stupid. He didn't want to lie to Bulma, but telling her they were "just hanging out" with Yamcha at his apartment after a 24-hour date sounded shady as hell.

"Oh, really? Huh. I didn't know Vegeta and Yamcha were even friends."

"We decided it was a good idea to get to know each other better," Vegeta yelled.

_Goddammit Vegeta, now isn't the time to be cute!_ "Um, we also wanted to stop by the area and spend some time in West City." Goku hoped _that_  band-aid worked.

"Oh, that's sweet!" Bulma's smile came through in her voice. "I'm glad you're all getting along, then. Promise to tell me later how everything went."

Goku squeezed his eyes shut. "I promise."

"Okay, okay, I won't interrupt any more of your  _guy_ time. Have fun, and I'll see you tomorrow!" She paused. "Oh, and say hi to Yamcha for me!"

"Hi Bulma!" Yamcha squeaked.

Goku laughed at a strange pitch. "Alright, see ya!" He ended the call.

"Jesus Christ, that was scary," Yamcha said. He was sweating bullets.

"You're better when you don't speak," Vegeta growled. He kissed Yamcha again. Yamcha blushed this time.

"Maybe we should actually go out," Goku offered. After that phone call, he wasn't going to be turned on again anytime soon. He needed fresh air. "Yamcha, you did say we should hang out first before…you know…"

"You're right." Yamcha pushed Vegeta off his lap. "There's actually a great club downtown."

"A club? No," Vegeta said, holding up both hands. "I don't do dancing."

"Dancing sounds like fun!" Goku said, ignoring Vegeta completely.

"Great! I'll just get ready and we can head over." Yamcha walked out of the living room toward the back of his apartment. Goku watched him and wondered if he should follow him into his bedroom. No…that couldn't end well.

Vegeta scooted across the couch to press himself against Goku's thigh. "Are you sure you want to go through with this? You look a bit—" Vegeta leaned close and kissed Goku's nose. "Upset."

"Naw, I'm okay." Goku whistled low. "All of this is pretty new for me."

Vegeta massaged his arm. "We can stop whenever you want."

That was what Goku feared the most. That he wouldn't be able to stop himself at all.


	12. Part Twelve

Vegeta  _hated_  enclosed spaces.  _And_  he hated dancing. The moment Yamcha, Goku, and he stepped inside the nightclub, something or some _one_ was bound to piss him off and send him off the deep end. It was just a matter of time, really. All he could hope for was that whenever _it_  happened, he wouldn't have to get his hands too dirty.

Sweat. Hair spray. Makeup. Spilled booze. Perfume. All of the smells mingled in the thick air, assaulting his senses. Before leaving the apartment for their little excursion, he'd taken his sweater off and stuck to wearing his undershirt. The simple act could save it from being ruined by drunken idiots trying to dance. But even without the sweater on, it was still hot as hell inside the venue. The first thing he wanted to do was find a booth to plant his ass in, away from all the dancing.

Yamcha tugged both him and Goku to a table. "Do you two want drinks?" he asked.

Vegeta shook his head no. Next to him, Goku shook his head up and down. "Yes. Something sweet!"

 _Typical that he wants a girly drink_ , Vegeta thought soberly. He glared at the people dancing on the floor and took notice that most of them were young men.  _I guess he wouldn't be the only one, though._

"I'll be back!" Yamcha flashed a toothy smile, and wandered off.

"Oh Vegeta," Goku cried. He grabbed onto Vegeta's arm. "I'm so nervous!"

"Are you saying you want to back out?" Vegeta felt disappointed to hear that, but any prospect of leaving the sweaty club was starting to look appealing.

"No, no." In the dim blue light, Vegeta saw a blush rise in Goku's cheeks. "It's just that on the way here I thought more about it. He's going to see what we look like naked!"

Vegeta smiled. "That's the point."

"But that's not even the end of it!" Goku squeezed harder on Vegeta's arm. "He's going to…you know…"

"Fuck us? Yes, I know. That's the only reason I bothered coming to this shithole." Vegeta leaned his elbow on the table.  _Ugh!_ Sticky residue clung to his skin, and he pulled his arm back to his chest.

"I've never done it with another guy, Vegeta!"

Vegeta suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Perhaps Goku's fear wasn't completely unfounded. Today was the first time a man other than himself showed him sexual interest. Ideally, Goku would accept the night of sexual freedom he was being given. "Would it make you feel better if I make sure we both take care of you, no matter what happens?"

"That's nice of you." Goku kissed him. "I can't promise I'll stop being nervous, though!"

Before Vegeta could kiss him back, he was interrupted. Two girls, probably in their early 20s, walked up to their table. They were curvy, bubbly, and hobbling along in six-inch heels. "Hey, cutie!" said the tall one in the front. "Come dance with us!"

Goku pointed at his own chest. "Me?"

 _You can't be serious! No. NO! Not this time!_  Vegeta rose from the table. "He won't be dancing tonight."

"He  _wooon't_?" whined the curvy tall girl.

"No. But I will."

Goku's eyes bulged from his head. "You will?!"

Both girls glanced at each other, telepathically using their feminine powers to come to a decision. "Uh, okay! Why not!" said the short girl.

Vegeta let them drag him into the middle of the dance floor. Goku stared at Vegeta's receding form as he was sucked deep into the crowd of the party. All of the anger, disgust, shame, and fear Vegeta held onto lay just under the surface. But what option did he have? If these girls wanted to dance, they were going to have to deal with him and  _like_  it.

* * *

Goku's stomach dropped. He half-stood to follow after Vegeta into the crowd. Yamcha showed up with two large cocktails in both hands.

"Hey, you." Yamcha settled down next to Goku. He passed the drink over to him. "Where's Vegeta?"

Goku titled his head in the direction they walked away in. "He's dancing with two girls right now."

"Whoa, Vegeta? Dancing? He made such a big deal about not wanting to come here."

"I know, right!" Goku crossed his arms and pushed his bottom lip out like an angry toddler.

"Let him have fun. He'll be fine." Yamcha pressed himself closer to Goku and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "Don't you want to keep me company?"

"Ah…Yeah…" Goku sipped on his drink. The nervous coil of energy in his stomach from earlier returned. How could Yamcha act like this was normal?

"You should relax, Goku." Yamcha flashed him another toothy smile. Even in the dark, noisy club his charm was palpable. "I'm not so scary."

"I'm not scared! It's just…All of this  _stuff_  is new for me." Goku slowly leaned against Yamcha's chest. "I've only ever had sex with Vegeta. I mean, if we're talking about guys."

"So you  _are_  new."

Goku crinkled his nose. "Are you gay now, Yamcha? I never knew you liked men."

Yamcha leaned close enough to rest his head against Goku's. "Goku, you've known me long enough to know I  _adore_  women. So no, I'm not gay."

Goku couldn't quite wrap his mind around that. "Really?"

"Nah. I'm more, ya know…" He swiveled his flat palm in the air like a see-saw."I can go either way, but have just as much fun."

"Oh, wow." Goku sucked down the rest of his drink. "I never knew you felt that way."

"I didn't explore more until after Bulma and I broke up." He grinned. "Which brings up a good question. What's up with you and Vegeta? Did you propose to him or something?"

"Huh? Propose?"

"He's wearing two rings. One of them is a wedding band."

"Oooh,  _that_." Goku laughed. "Long story short, I…found it."

"So he's your fiancé now?"

"No way! Vegeta would never marry me!"

"Then why is he sporting a wedding band? Don't tell me you gave him the other ring too."

Goku rubbed the back of his head. "They're just gifts. It's no big deal." Goku imagined himself running down an aisle in a wedding dress. Yep…he'd definitely be the one to wear the dress.  _Dammit, Vegeta, why wouldn't YOU be the one to wear the dress?_

"Fine. I won't get all up in your business." Yamcha winked. "Until later, that is."

Goku sighed. Time to nip this in the bud. He loved Yamcha, but the guy always forgot how easily Goku saw past his bravado. Part of Yamcha would always be that 16-year-old boy who became paralyzed around women. "You sure like to talk tough, Yamcha." Goku tugged on the front of his shirt until their noses pressed together. "If you ask me, you're a bit  _too_  confident. Have you even thought about what Vegeta and I are going to do with  _you_  later?"

Yamcha blushed. The charade fell. "Hahaha, what do you mean?" He had that goofy smile again.

Goku gulped down his shyness. "We don't tire easily. So you better keep up."

"Umm, I'll try my best!"

Goku giggled. "See, you're just as nervous as I am!" He kissed Yamcha on the mouth. "You don't have to pretend around me."

"Heh." Yamcha ran his hand up Goku's side to tickle under his arm.

Goku growled at the attack. "What are you doin—" Yamcha kissed him again, pressing him against his chair.  _Oh gods_. Yamcha's other hand trailed around his hip to his crotch. His forefinger and thumb rubbed against Goku's length until the pressure built behind his zipper. The urge to unzip himself to let Yamcha have his way with him almost overwhelmed Goku. He could probably get away with it, too. No one would notice if he got a quickie under the table…

"Mm, Yamcha," Goku moaned, breaking the momentum of their making out. "Unzip my pants."

Yamcha raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

Goku nodded, then pressed their mouths together again. Yamcha didn't waste a moment undoing Goku's pants and shimming his hand into the denim. Goku shifted in his chair a bit to spread his legs farther open as Yamcha pulled his cock out. Yamcha laughed into his mouth as he stroked Goku under the table.

Goku mentally cursed himself. What was he going to do, just come all over his pants once he finished? The longer Yamcha's magnificent hand job lasted, the more his resolve left him. He lifted his hips up off the chair. "Ah, Yamcha," he whispered after breaking their kiss. "I'm close."

Yamcha moved to bite down on Goku's neck. Goku laughed at the absurdity of getting jerked off by Yamcha in public. His glazed eyes looked out onto the dance floor to see if they'd caught any unwanted attention.

The crowd parted for a few seconds. Far away he spotted Vegeta.

 _What the fuck!_   _What is Vegeta doing!_  "Stop, Yamcha!"

Yamcha pulled away from his neck. "What's wrong?"

Goku stuffed himself back into his pants. "I have to get Vegeta," he growled.

Yamcha whined. "Right now…?"

"Yeah. I'll be back." Goku pulled himself from Yamcha's embrace. He ventured into the sweating crowd of wiggling bodies.

* * *

Vegeta wondered how long these two girls would keep him trapped on the dance floor. Once they reached the very middle of the room, he realized there was little hope for escape. He was going to have to ride this one out, no matter what.

The tall girl next to him grabbed his ass. "Hey!" he yelled.

"Hehe! Come here!" She pulled him flush against her crotch before bending him over.

"What are you—?" He hissed as she ground her wide hips against his ass.

"What's your name?" she screamed over the music.

Vegeta cringed. "It's Vegeta."

"Vegetable? Weird name! I'm Lisa!" She continued to grind her crotch against him. His eyes caught a pair of men dancing closely with each other in a similar fashion.  _Is this what counts as dancing on Earth? Just fucking with your clothes on?_ The shorter girl he met earlier stood in front of him, twisting and gyrating in cadence with the bass-heavy music bleeding from the speakers.

 _I suppose I could try._ Vegeta followed Lisa's rhythm. His hips swayed along with hers.

She tightened her fingers around his waist. "Wow, you're really good, Vegetable!"

"Thanks."

Halfway through the song playing, Lisa discovered Vegeta had the body of a god. Thus, began the groping. Vegeta pitied her; it was obvious she'd never touched a man's body like his before. She gasped every time her long nails grazed over a chiseled muscle. "Oh my God," she squeaked once she reached his eight-pack.

"Pull yourself together, Lisa," Vegeta responded with a smug grin on his face.

The shorter girl took advantage of his distraction and shoved his face into her chest. "C'mon, motorboat me!"

"What—!" Her breasts slapped against his face, nearly suffocating him. How old were these girls anyway?! They were children to him, yet one had basically humped his ass and the other demanded he go to second base with her. They were very, very different from any of the young people he'd been in contact with since being on Earth.

 _Fuck this_. He spun the shorter girl around and pulled her to his chest. She tittered nervously, bending over and grinding her ass against him.

Here he was. Sandwiched between two young women who assumed he was just another gay man they felt safe pressing their boobs and butts against. They probably thought he wasn't much older than them, either. Had they known the crimes he'd committed in his lifetime, they would run for the hills.  _This isn't so bad, having this kind of attention._ The shorter girl in front of him dropped her hands to her knees and twerked like her life depended on it.

"Hey—Uh, excuse me—!"

Vegeta turned his head. Goku was pushing himself toward the middle of the crowd, looking pissed.

"Oh, hi!" Lisa released a hand from Vegeta's waist to wave at Goku. "Did you come to join us?"

"No, I didn't. I came to collect my  _boyfriend_."

"Already? We were just getting into it!" Lisa splayed her fingers and ran her hands from Vegeta's nipple down to his thigh. "Vegetable is having a fun time, aren't you?"

"Sure." Vegeta smirked down at the short girl's backside wiggling in front of him.  _Definitely not a view I get to see often_.

Goku bared his teeth. "We can dance alone just fine!" He grabbed Vegeta's hand and pulled him away from the twerk sandwich.

Vegeta trailed behind Goku to a different part of the dance floor. "Kakarot, what's gotten into you?"

"I saw you." Vegeta had never seen this look on Goku's face. It was indecipherable. "Did you like that, Vegeta? How they touched you?"

Vegeta stared up at him. "You're not…jealous. Are you?"

Goku blushed and looked away. "I can dance like that too, you know!"

 _I can't believe it. I never thought I'd see the day._  "Fine. Let's dance, if that's what you really want."

The strange look fell from Goku's face. He pulled Vegeta close to his chest. His hands roamed down to Vegeta's waist, gently pressing them together. Goku wasn't as erratic and wild as the young girls, but the sensual way he moved didn't go unnoticed by Vegeta. The focused, rhythmic way his hips moved made Vegeta feel a bit hot under the collar.

Vegeta cupped his hand under Goku's ass. Goku didn't seem to mind at all. "I've always wanted to dance with you," Goku sighed into his neck.

Vegeta smiled. Dancing was a foreign thing to him, as was the desire to dance with someone else. "Do you like this place?" he asked.

"It's okay. I think it's weird there're so many guys here."

Vegeta laughed. He didn't bother trying to explain they were, in fact, in a gay dance club. The more he thought about it, the stranger it seemed Yamcha would be the kind of person to frequent a place such as this.

Goku's strong hold on him placed him in a meditative state. Bodies slick with sweat bumped against him, but he didn't mind as much now. Goku's large arms made him feel safe. Drowsy, he rubbed the golden band on his middle finger with his thumb.  _Please don't let me go, Kakarot._

Goku leaned down to speak into Vegeta's ear. "It's getting pretty late. Maybe it's time to head back."

He was so close, Vegeta could feel the curve of his smiling lips against the side of his face. "Sure," he responded. Goku led them back through the crowd to their table.

Yamcha waved his arms in the air to flag them over. "You guys tired already?" he asked.

"We're ready to get back," Goku said. Vegeta studied his face and saw Goku was ruddy, probably from drinking.

Yamcha flashed another award-winning smile. "I'm ready if you are."

* * *

Goku was sure his heart was going to pound out of his chest. All three of them stood in front of Yamcha's front door as he fumbled to fish his keys out of his pocket. "Here we go," he mumbled as the key slid into the lock.

They stepped into the dark apartment. Yamcha closed the door behind them. He erupted into a sudden fit of giggles. "So…"

Vegeta made the first move. He grabbed onto Yamcha's shirt and pushed him backwards toward the bedroom. In one quick motion, Vegeta slid the shirt above Yamcha's head and flung it into a corner. Goku breathed out in relief he didn't have to be the initiator. He watched Yamcha step backwards in unison with Vegeta, until they crashed into a wall. Vegeta kissed him while Yamcha fumbled around to open his bedroom door. Once inside, Yamcha flicked the light switch on. A shaft of light spilled from the room back into the hallway.

Goku paused.  _This is it. Once I go in there, things are going to be different from now on._ Somewhere deep inside of himself, his conscious cried out. Was it really a good idea to go through with this? Could it really be  _this_ easy to have sex with a friend he knew since he was twelve years old? What if he ruined their friendship? And if Bulma ever found out—

 _No. I'm just here to have fun_.  _She doesn't have to know anything._  Goku held his breath, and stepped over the threshold into Yamcha's bedroom.

The first thing he noticed was that it was shamefully huge. In the middle of the room sat a king-sized bed covered with a golden, fluffy duvet. Alongside the wall was another leather couch similar to the one in the living room. The left side of the room opened up to a large bathroom with giant glass shower doors in the far back.  _Geez, that thing looks like it was made for an audience._

"Kakarot, take his pants off," Vegeta said between breaths. He adorned Yamcha's neck with kisses, and busied his hands with unzipping his fly.

Goku shook his head. Here he was checking the room out, while everyone else was getting the show on the road. With the precision of performing brain surgery, he carefully pulled Yamcha's jeans down until they pooled around his ankles. "Wow, Yamcha!" he gasped.

Yamcha looked down. "Whuh?"

Goku licked his mouth. "It's just, um." Goku laughed nervously. He slid Yamcha's boxers down to join his pants around his ankles. "Wowee," he said, almost too shy to keep his eyes open.

"Kakarot is trying to say you're hung."

"Oh! Haha." Yamcha smiled down at Goku.

Tentative, Goku licked the tip. Not only was it big, but it was different. He'd never seen a circumcised penis up close before. He grabbed the base of Yamcha's shaft, thinking of how different he looked and felt from Vegeta. He sucked on the head until Yamcha moaned. Yamcha ran a hand through Goku's scalp, gently tugging on the hair as Goku inched his mouth over him.

 _Ooh._  Having such a huge dick in his mouth turned him on a little. He worked his tongue over each vein, pleasuring in how different he tasted in his mouth. In the back of his mind he wondered if he looked at hot as when Vegeta deep-throated him a few days ago.

"Ah, shit." Yamcha gently tugged on his hair again. Goku laughed and let it vibrate the thick cock in his mouth.

Above him, Vegeta was taking his own clothes off and leaving them in a heap on the carpet. He left Yamcha and came behind Goku, grasping desperately at the hem of his shirt. Goku struggled to keep Yamcha in his mouth as Vegeta pulled his pants and shoes off. "Kakarot, I need you," he said. Goku groaned and dropped Yamcha's dick out of his mouth with a loud, wet pop. Vegeta pulled Goku's shirt over his head, leaving him completely naked.

Yamcha lazily rose his arm in the air to point at his night table. "There's lube in the drawer." Goku took him in his mouth again, making Yamcha's legs buckle. He sat onto the edge of the bed, hands still glued to Goku's scalp.

Goku vaguely heard Vegeta get up and rustle around the room, before returning with two wet fingers against his asshole. "Ah!" Goku gasped. He got on all fours, rocking to and fro as Vegeta slowly pressed his fingers into him. He deep-throated Yamcha in rhythm.

"Hold still," Vegeta said behind him. Goku's stomach tightened in anticipation. It'd been so long since Vegeta had taken him. With his eyes clenched shut, he suckled on Yamcha as Vegeta slowly pushed into him. After a few long, languid strokes, Goku acclimated to the stretching. A low whine came from his throat. He cried out Vegeta's name, but it only came out as a low gargle.

"Fuck!" Vegeta's fingers dug into Goku's hips for leverage. He pounded hard into the larger Saiyan, almost knocking both him and Yamcha over. Goku knew Vegeta had been itching to do this to him again, so he wasn't going to let Goku off easy.

Goku's eyes rolled into this back of his head once his prostate was hit. "Uh, gods," he groaned. Yamcha was thrusting into his mouth now. More than anything, he wished he could look in a mirror to see what being skewered looked like. Above him, Yamcha and Vegeta Eiffel-towered him by giving each other an enthused high-five.  _Real funny, guys_.

Vegeta chuckled. "If only you could see the look on Yamcha's face right now."

Goku struggled to look up. Yamcha was panting with his mouth wide open.

"Do you like the way I fuck him?" Vegeta asked, short of breath himself. "Kakarot loves it."

"I can see that," Yamcha said, voice low and scratchy.

The sound of Vegeta smacking his lips filled Goku's ears. "Are you about to come?"

Yamcha screwed his eyes shut. "Fuck yeah."

Vegeta slowed his pace to a crawl. "Kakarot, do you want to get fucked by your friend?"

"Mmhm!" Goku mumbled. All of his apprehensions and doubts had melted away long ago. It was too late to go back now.

Vegeta and Yamcha pulled out of Goku at the same time. Goku panted on all fours, exhilaration coursing through his veins. Blood rushed to his head. As much as he loved sucking cock, he damn near suffocated. Vegeta crawled up from the floor and switched positions with Yamcha. Goku reached out to touch him, but Vegeta pushed his hand away. "No," he said, curt. He crawled backwards onto the bed with his hand on his dick. Goku watched Vegeta smile back at him while he jerked himself off.

"Vegeta…" Goku moved to touch any part of Vegeta's body he could reach. He'd never seen Vegeta touch himself before. It was so mesmerizing, the way Vegeta's dark eyes swallowed him whole.

Yamcha pulled Goku backwards until the tip of his dick pressed against his entrance.  _Oh, Yamcha. Right!_  Goku grabbed the edge of the bedspread. The first thrust hurt like hell. Goku was wet enough from Vegeta for Yamcha to slide in with little resistance, but the pain was too much. "Ah, Yamcha!" Goku buried his face into the bedspread in front of him.  _Shit, he is going to tear me in two!_

"Jesus," Yamcha mumbled. He lifted Goku's hips up, then pounded into him at a different angle. "You're fucking tight, Goku."

Hearing his human name drove him into a frenzy.  _So this is what it's like, being with another man._ Vegeta was wildly licking his lips now, something he rarely did for longer than a few seconds. Goku wanted to get Vegeta so excited, he could barely contain himself. "Harder, Yamcha," he panted. He gulped down the spit in his mouth. The pain had ebbed away to be replaced with blinding pleasure, so he was starting to drool.

Yamcha grunted. He wrapped his arms around Goku's torso, then tilted them both backwards onto the floor. Goku threw his head back and cried out once they landed. Yamcha lay flat on his back with his hands planted on Goku's hips.

Goku moved up and down to ride him, but Yamcha stilled him by digging his fingers in his hips. "Let me do it," he groaned. Using his hands, he bounced Goku up and down on his cock.

Vegeta crawled to the edge of the bed to get a closer look at both of them. The shadowy look on his face earlier was gone. His mouth went slag. Goku smiled at his reaction. "Gods Vegeta, he's so _deep_!" Goku gasped every time Yamcha brought him back down to fill him whole again.

"Yes," Vegeta said. Goku didn't know what the affirmation was for, but Vegeta's hand was busy playing with himself. Goku wanted to read his mind, wanted to badly know just how turned on he was by watching them.

"Fuck, Goku!" Yamcha arched his back off the floor. With his final few thrusts, Goku felt warm cum fill him, then dribble down onto Yamcha's stomach. A low growl emitted from Yamcha's throat. He lolled his head over onto the carpet. "Jesus, you felt so fucking good."

Goku pulled his gaze away from Vegeta. Wincing, he let Yamcha slide out of him. He rolled over to rest against Yamcha's chest. "That was…" He paused to catch his breath. He pecked Yamcha several times on his soft mouth. "Incredible."

Yamcha, all puckered out, could only chuckle softly beneath Goku's weight. As Goku continued to kiss him, he blushed. "Oh, Goku."

Goku sensed Vegeta moving toward them before Yamcha did. Another shock of adrenaline shot through his body. Yamcha had been spoiled by Goku's sweetness during sex. But he didn't know what Vegeta was like at all. Goku knew the Price wasn't going to just sit around and let another man cuddle him after sex.

Vegeta fell to his knees beside Yamcha's head. "Did you enjoy my Kakarot?"

Goku shuddered.  _He called me_ his  _Kakarot!_

Yamcha nodded in response to Vegeta, still dazed from the sex.

"Good." Vegeta pumped himself furiously, until he spurted all over Yamcha's face.

"Hey—!" Yamcha grit his teeth. Vegeta's cum coated his face in thick ropes. Yamcha rolled his eyes and waited patiently for Vegeta to finish. "Asshole. Did you  _have_  to do that?"

"It looks good on you," Vegeta laughed. He pried Goku from Yamcha's broad chest. "Come here."

Dreamily, Goku followed Vegeta onto the large bed. Vegeta pulled him into a slow, sultry kiss. "How do you feel?"

"Good," Goku said. He lay on top of Vegeta. "Really tired."

"Eugh. I'll be back," Yamcha grumbled. The cum was dripping from his chin onto his chest. He hobbled over to the bathroom sink to clean himself.

"Pretty Boy wasn't considerate enough to think of your needs." Vegeta planted a final kiss on Goku's forehead, before crawling down to suck him off.

Goku pressed his head back into one of Yamcha's fluffy pillows. He twirled Vegeta's strands of hair between his fingers. His toes curled as Vegeta expertly sucked him from base to tip. "Mm, Yamcha, are you done over there yet?"

Yamcha turned around, clutching a maroon towel against his face. "Oh," he said, surprised to see Vegeta already working Goku's body over again. He dropped the towel and climbed back on the bed.

Goku grabbed his hand. "Touch me," he said. Yamcha leaned down and trailed his tongue against Goku's right nipple. Under his touch the pink nub hardened. Goku found himself caught in a fit of gasps—one whenever Vegeta sucked all the way back up to his head, and another every time Yamcha stopped to blow cool air against his nipple.

Goku bit down his lip as his orgasm rocked him to the core. The sound that ripped from his mouth was unrecognizable to him. He was wailing, and couldn't stop. Vegeta still sucked on him after he'd cum, and he could barely stand it. "Vegeta, stop!" Goku groaned.

Vegeta pulled his mouth away, laughing. "I love hearing you sing."

Goku rolled his head to the side. Like a dog, he panted with his tongue hanging out his mouth. "Shit!" He wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Vegeta crawled up Goku's chest. He lay his head against Goku's heart. "Don't worry. You're still alive."

"Barely." Goku pulled Yamcha's face to the opposite side of his chest, then rubbed his hands through both men's hair. When no one spoke for a long while, Goku closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The low thrumming of Goku's heart almost lulled Vegeta to sleep. The moment his eyes closed, he felt Yamcha kiss him. "I'm going outside for a smoke. Want to join me?"

Vegeta slowly lifted himself from Goku's chest. "Sure." Both he and Yamcha crept slowly out of the bedroom.

Yamcha led him outside a sliding door onto the balcony. After closing the door behind them, he grabbed the pack of smokes and lighter sitting on the nearby metal latticework table. "Pretty good, huh?" He lit his cigarette, sucked, and then passed it to Vegeta.

Vegeta stared at the burning stick in front of him. "Kakarot doesn't want me to smoke anymore."

"Oh." Yamcha pulled his hand away, but Vegeta grabbed onto his wrist.

"But he's not here right now, is he." He slid the cigarette from Yamcha's palm, and took a deep drag.  _Almost as good as the sex_ , he thought. The nicotine tasted sublime.

"Hey Vegeta." Yamcha had an edge in his voice Vegeta didn't like. "Do you ever bottom?"

"No," he lied.

Yamcha laughed. "Didn't think so." He took his cigarette back from Vegeta. "I never saw Goku as the type to enjoy it either. Boy, was I wrong about that."

"Hnn." Vegeta gazed out at the sound nearby. The water glistened from the moonlight. A lighthouse sat silhouetted in the distance, its cone of light spinning around in a slow circle. "Do you do this often? Bring a bunch of men here and show them a good time?"

"No." Yamcha smiled, and his teeth shined in the moonlight. "It's usually women."

"And your cat friend? She's okay with this?"

Yamcha's face turned dark. "Puar?"

"Yes. Puar. Who the fuck else would your cat friend be?"

"No, she's not happy with it." Yamcha stared out into the water. "Not happy with it one bit."

Vegeta felt… _uneasy_. The realization dawned on him: the whole time he'd been over here, Yamcha hadn't mentioned Puar once. Even stranger, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the cat. "I thought she lived with you. Where is she now?"

"How the hell should I know." Yamcha threw both arms up in the air. "She's her own woman. She can do whatever she wants!"

"Okay…" So Vegeta had to steer away from the topic of the cat. That was fine with him. Something about the way Yamcha reacted to just hearing her name skeeved Vegeta out, so he was thrilled to change the topic. He took Yamcha's cigarette away from him again.

"So what's up with the wedding band?" Yamcha asked.

"Oh, this?" Vegeta looked down at the glimmering ring. "This hick called us faggots. So Kakarot broke his finger and stole his ring."

"Whoa." Yamcha grinned. "How romantic. It's kind of like he proposed to you."

"Maybe a fucked up proposal. I like the other ring better." Vegeta held up his opposite hand to show off the shining ring that resembled a planet.

"Sounds like you two are pretty serious. Are you in love with him?"

Vegeta frowned. "I am."

"Aww!" Yamcha squeezed his shoulder, which Vegeta flinched away from. "I hope you aren't mad I pounded your boo's butt."

"Don't flatter yourself. Just because you have a big dick doesn't mean you know how to use it." Vegeta took one final puff off the cigarette, then crushed it into the ashtray on the table. "Let me show you how it's done."

"What makes you think I'd want to bottom?"

Vegeta shrugged. "If you're not interested, I'll just wake Kakarot up and we can head home."

"Uh!" Yamcha blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, I'm down for anything tonight!"

Vegeta smirked. "Let's get back to it, then."

"Hold it. Take one of these." He picked up a small, blue plastic case from the table. "They're breath mint strips."

Vegeta opened his mouth. Yamcha placed the translucent strip onto his tongue. The minty flavor made his taste buds tingle, erasing any lingering hint of smoke. Afterward, they walked back inside. Yamcha grabbed Vegeta's ass as they opened the door to the bedroom, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.  _Jackass!_

"Hey guys," Goku said. He was looking at his phone. "I hope you don't mind if I borrow your charger, Yamcha. I just needed to text Goten and let him know I'm okay."

"What the hell, Kakarot? We're in the middle of a threesome, and you're thinking about your kid?"

Goku shrugged. "I thought we were done!"

"Not at all. So put that thing away."

Goku placed the phone down on the bed. He sniffed the air. "Did you two just smoke?"

Yamcha and Vegeta exchanged looks. "It was me," Yamcha volunteered. He crawled onto the bed, slowly scaling up Goku's body.

Vegeta followed in suit, planting kisses all the way up Goku's thigh and ribcage. "Kakarot," he whispered. "Yamcha told me he wanted you inside of him."

Yamcha made a strangled noise. Goku smiled. "Is that true, Yamcha?"

"I…Sure…"

"Alright. Let's do it!" Goku rose from the bed with a burst of new energy. "Where's the lube?"

Vegeta laughed. "Not going to give him the special treatment with your tongue?"

"No way. I'm too excited to wait!" Goku crawled over the tangle of limbs on the bed searching for the bottle of lube. "Found it!"

"You're really excited about this," Yamcha said. Vegeta enjoyed seeing the apprehension all over his face. He was all gung-ho when Goku was docile and on the receiving end. Now he was going to truly experience what sex with a Saiyan was like.

"Ooh, I have a cool idea." Goku popped open the bottle, and squirted out a large glob of the stuff onto his palm. "Get on your back and I'll show you!"

"Okay…" Yamcha scooted over on the bed, and lay on his back. Goku crawled in front of him while slathering himself with the lubricant. All Vegeta did was lay on his side to watch the show in utter amusement.

"Does this hurt?" Goku slid one slick finger into Yamcha.

He inhaled. "No." His lips curled downward once Goku pushed another finger in and stretched him. "Ah-ow…"

"It's okay. It hurts a lot before it starts feeling good."

"I know that, Goku." He wrapped his arms around his knees and pulled them against his chest. Vegeta watched Yamcha shiver as Goku continued to scissor him. After a few minutes of getting worked up, Yamcha purred. "That's feels good," he sighed.

Goku took that as his cue. He pulled his fingers out, then pushed forward to enter him. Yamcha squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation.

"Stop being such a baby," Vegeta said. "Kakarot, hurry it up. I want my turn!"

"Don't rush me, Vegeta!" Goku stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth. He pushed slowly into Yamcha.

"Ah!" Yamcha gasped. Goku rocked shallow thrusts in and out of him.

"Oh, wow." Goku blushed and turned to look at Vegeta. "He feels different from you!"

Vegeta nearly fell off the bed. "Shut-up! What do you mean!"

Yamcha laughed in short bursts. "I thought you said never bottomed, Vegeta!"

"Oh, shut-up the both of you!"

"Vegetaaa," Goku drawled. "He feels so good. Mm." He rocked deeper into Yamcha's ass, and clenched his eyes shut. "Kami…"

Glad to be over the mild annoyance from earlier, Vegeta let himself smile again. Watching Goku enjoy himself turned him on in a way he'd never knew existed before tonight. Yamcha's loud moaning didn't help with his "condition", either. He was hard at stone now.

Suddenly, Goku pulled himself out. "Wow!" He curled his index finger to beckon Vegeta closer to him. "Come 'ere, Veggie."

Vegeta crawled across the bed. "Yes? What did you have in mind?"

"Well, uh…" Goku grinned stupidly, scratching the back of his head. Vegeta wanted to point out how silly he looked with  _that_  particular expression on his face and with his dick out. "If Yamcha's okay with it…I wanted us to try doing him at the same time."

"What!" Yamcha screeched. "No way! That's not even possible!"

Vegeta rubbed his chin in mock contemplation. "And  _how_  do you think we should go about accomplishing that?"

"I was thinking," Goku said, his face now as serious as humanely possible, "one of us could be below him, and the other on top. Yamcha could be in between both of us. That way we can both get inside."

"Oh  _hell_  no. No way I'm doing this sober." Yamcha leaned over the side of the bed and dug around in his nightstand. "I'm downing some tequila first."

Goku laughed. "Come on, Yamcha! I'm sure it won't be that bad!"

"He's not like you and me," Vegeta said. He watched Yamcha unscrew the bottle of tequila and down several large gulps of it. "He is human, after all."

Yamcha finished sucking down the rest of the bottle. He threw it across the room, and it landed with a heavy thud on the carpet. "Alright. Come on, then!"

"Okay…First, Vegeta, scoot to the edge of the bed, then get on your back. Then Yamcha, you sit on him."

Vegeta grabbed the lube at the end of the bed and coated himself. He followed Goku's instructions and hung his legs off the edge of the bed. He grinned up at Yamcha as the baseball player swung his leg across him, and hovered above. "Fuck you Vegeta, stop laughing!"

"Come on, Pretty Boy. Sit on it." Like kids on a playground, Vegeta stuck his tongue out at him.

Yamcha lowered himself down onto Vegeta's cock. He puffed out a huge breath of air. "Shit." He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Vegeta's neck.

"Okay, here I come!" Goku cried. He got up and stood between Vegeta's legs.

Vegeta chuckled. "Kakarot, you're so—" He choked. Instantly, he dug his fingernails into Yamcha's back. The space inside Yamcha filled up fast with Goku's own girth. "Ah!" Vegeta groaned. He hadn't considered what it'd feel like to have Goku rubbing against him inside Yamcha as well, and it felt luxurious.

"Goku!" Yamcha panted. "I can't—!"

"It's okay." Goku massaged Yamcha's back in slow circles. "Don't worry, you're doing fine."

"Mmrg!" Yamcha twisted his head so it buried into Vegeta's neck.

Part of Vegeta wanted to feel sorry for the human. He'd walked straight into this, naively thinking sex with him and Goku would be a walk in the park. "Relax," Vegeta said. But he could follow his own advice. Goku's slow thrusting was driving him crazy!

Finally, Goku pushed himself all the way in. "Whoaaa," he breathed out slowly. His hips were flush against Yamcha.

The rest was a blur of gasps, moans, and eventual screams in Vegeta's memory. Goku really outdid himself and screwed Yamcha hard enough to send the bed crashing into the wall. Everything was so hot and tight, Vegeta felt he was being fucked too. He joined Yamcha in simultaneously cursing and praising Goku's effort.

Goku stuck his tongue out again. "Gosh, you both sure are— _mmm_." He grabbed onto a lock of Yamcha's hair once thrusting all the way in again. "Chatty." The next moment, he bit down so hard on his lip it started to bleed. "Gods, this feels amazing!"

"Yes, Kakarot, give yourself a big pat on the back!"

"Forgot you were down there, 'Geta!" Vegeta growled beneath all of them, and Goku giggled. "Just kidding, I feel you too!"

"Oh my God," Yamcha groaned. Vegeta wasn't sure if it was out of exasperation or pleasure. Probably both.

"Geez, Yamcha," Goku said, "You sure know how to take one for the  _team_."

Yamcha gasped out loud in pleasure. "Ah, God!"

"Just think about it…I'm the  _pitcher_ , you're the  _catcher_ …"

Yamcha looked over his shoulder and stared daggers at Goku. "What are you doing, stand-up?!"

"Terrible," Vegeta said, "simply terrible."

"Is he always like this, Vegeta?"

"During sex? On occasion." Vegeta squeezed his eyes shut. "Aaand I'm coming."

"All the bases are loaded…nng…And Son hits a home run—Aah!"

"Goddammit, Goku!"

"It's a grand slam! The crowd is going wild…ugh, fuck, I'm coming too…" After Goku was spent, he crashed down atop the both of them. "Uuugh, Yamcha," he growled.

Only the sounds of their pants filled the room. Vegeta wrapped his arms around both men. Poor Yamcha's heart was beating like he'd ran a marathon. Vegeta kissed the side of his hot neck in hopes he'd calm down.

"How are you, Yamcha?" Goku's voice was scratchy.

"I'm good. A bit squashed."

Goku pulled himself from his back. Yamcha rolled off of Vegeta and took a deep gasp of air. A sticky residue sat on Vegeta's stomach; he ran his fingers through it and smiled. At least the human managed to enjoy himself during all of Goku's tomfoolery.

"I'm so sleepy." Goku yawned. "Can we go to bed?"

"No way. I need a shower after that." Slowly stretching his muscles forward, Yamcha crawled off the bed. "Want to join me?"

"Sure," Goku said. "Vegeta, are you coming?"

Vegeta shifted in bed. "Kakarot, your stupid phone was under me the whole time." He pulled the cell out from beneath his back, and slid it across the bed. He hoped the thing still worked later.

Goku and Vegeta both slung one of Yamcha's arms over their shoulders so he didn't have to limp to the bathroom. The slick tiles were immaculate beneath their feet. Yamcha slid the giant shower door open.

"Wow, this is huge!" Goku looked back and forth between two shower knobs. "How many people can fit in here?"

Yamcha laughed. "I'm not sure you want to know the answer to that." He turned both the knobs. Hot water sprayed on them from two giant shower heads.

The next half hour was surprisingly quiet. Vegeta made out with Yamcha as Goku lathered their backs with some body wash sitting on a crystal glass counter in the shower. Even though Yamcha was the one who needed the most attention, he spent the whole shower massaging Vegeta's shoulders and back. The Prince had never allowed a man other than Goku to touch him so intimately. He succumbed to Yamcha's gentle kisses on his mouth.  _Does he treat all of his lovers like this_?

Once they were all were clean and dry, Yamcha turned all the lights out. They walked back to bed to slide under the giant duvet. Yamcha initiated a cuddle puddle, which Vegeta was a bit wary about. Yamcha spooned him from behind with his nose snuggled against the back of his neck. "Goodnight, you two," he mumbled.

"Night," Goku yawned.

"What is this, a slumber party?" After a few seconds passed and Vegeta's unfettered comment received no response, he sighed. "Fine. Goodnight."

* * *

The sound of retching woke him up.

Vegeta sprung up out of bed. Both Yamcha and Goku were missing. Someone was in the bathroom puking their brains out. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "What the hell's happening in there?" he yelled.

"Too much tequila," Yamcha cried out.

He grunted. "Where's Kakarot?"

"I dunno." More wet splatters echoed from the bathroom.

Vegeta stalked out of the bedroom into the living room. The bright sun blinded him. He raised his forearm over his eyes. "Fuck. Where are you, Kakarot?" He squinted through the brightness and saw Goku sitting on the couch naked. His arms were pulled to his chest, and he stared blankly forward in space.

"Are you okay?" Vegeta sidled side-ways and sit down gingerly on the couch. Goku still hadn't looked at him. He snapped his fingers in his face. "Kakarot. What's wrong? Are you there?"

"She…she…" Goku trailed off.

"She? Who? What's the matter with you?"

"I…" Goku finally blinked. He looked at Vegeta.

The Prince pulled away. Goku's ghostly pallor spooked him. "Spit it out!"

"She knows."

" _Who_  knows  _what?_ "

"Bulma. She knows we had sex last night."

Vegeta huffed. "No, she doesn't. We didn't tell her anything. It's fine." He leaned forward to caress Goku's cheek.

Goku recoiled. He held up his phone. "Last night we called her on accident."

"…What?"

"When you were on top of my phone. It called her on accident. She—" Goku looked down at his phone. "She left me a voicemail."

 _Shit. Shit. Motherfucking shit!_ Vegeta fell back onto the couch. He ran his fingers through his hair. "What did she say?"

The frown resting on Goku's features froze there for several seconds. His hands moved slowly as if he were swimming through water. He pressed a few buttons on his phone, then placed it on Vegeta's lap. It was on speaker phone. Bulma's voice swelled from the device, filling the room with a terrifying noise.

" **Umm. Okay. So—Hahah. Wow."** A beat.  **"I'm not sure how I feel right now. I'm not even sure why I called. At first I thought maybe you were playing a joke on me? But after listening a while, I knew that wasn't true."**

 _This is bad. This is really, really, really bad._ Vegeta bit his lip in anticipation of what she had to say next.

" **You know, I try to be a good friend to you, Goku. You managed to make the man I lived with for twenty years fall in love with you only after a few weeks. And that makes perfect sense, you know? You're so nice, and charming, and sweet."** Bulma was crying now. **"So I never wanted to say anything bad about it. I couldn't. Who could say something bad about you, after all you've done for us?**

" **But Yamcha too? Really? I mean, FUCKING really? Why—Dammit!** **—** **Are you trying to make me miserable? Are you just a huge scumbag and I never knew until now? Of all the men in the world, why him? You know I was in love with him for years, right? Yeah, you fucking remember, because you were there for all of it. And why would Vegeta—Ugh! He doesn't—even—know him!"**

She sighed.  **"Okay. Alright. I'm done. Gonna be honest, I don't want to talk to you ever again. Bye, Goku."**


	13. The Dreaded Part Thirteen

Despite everything being shot to hell, the sun was still shining. Colorful birds perched on the outside balcony, chirping a sprightly song. The sound miles away sparkled in the brilliant daylight. Miles away a tiny freighter chugged through the water. Even the curlicue of smoke rising from it had its charm. Vegeta saw that this small part of his universe was calm. But elsewhere in the world, Bulma was having the worst day of her life.

"We have to go see her," Goku whispered.

Vegeta glanced over at him. He still looked ill, but at least now he was moving his limbs.

"Yes, we should," Vegeta said. They rose from the couch and walked toward the bedroom. Goku's phone buzzed, and he nearly died from fright.

Vegeta grumbled. "Who is it?"

Goku looked at his phone's screen. "It's Marron."

"We don't have time. Let's go now."

A crashing series of knocks rattled the front door. "Yamcha! Yamcha, I  _know_  you're in there!"

Goku gasped, and stared at the door. "Is that—?"

"No, it's not Bulma." Vegeta ran to the front door and gazed through the peephole. "What the ever-loving fuck…!"

"Yamcha! YAMCHA! I know what you do over here when you ignore my calls! Open the door  _right now!_ "

"Who is it?!" Goku asked in a stage whisper.

"It's the cat. Why the hell is she here?!"

"Yamcha! Yaaam _chaaaa_!"

The man of the hour stumbled through the bedroom door. "Don't let her in!" Yamcha groaned. He crashed into the door jamb, still hungover from last night. "Whatever you do, don't let her walk through that door!"

"This is bullshit. We're leaving!" Vegeta grabbed Goku's bicep and pulled him into the bedroom.

"Wait, guys! She has a key!" Yamcha yelled.

Midway through pulling his underwear and jeans back on, Vegeta heard the front door lock rattle.  _Fucking hell!_ Seconds later the front door flew open and smashed against the wall.

"Yamcha! Where are you!"

Yamcha growled. "Oh,  _look what the cat dragged in!_ " He crawled up off the floor, and planted his hands on his hips.

"Oh my God, why are you naked!" Puar screamed. She flew into the hallway where she caught sight of Goku and Vegeta, who were only half-dressed.

"I'm sorry Yamcha, I couldn't stop her!" came a new voice from the living room.

"Who the fuck is  _that_?" Vegeta cried.

Oolong walked into the hallway, bashfully covering his eyes. "I tried to tell her we shouldn't come over here, but she wouldn't listen!"

Puar slapped Yamcha across the face several times with her tiny cat paws. "I can't believe you!"

"Come on babe, it's not what it looks like—"

"Oh my gods, he's fucking the cat!" Vegeta screamed. He pulled his sweater over his head, then bogarted his way out of the room. "Come on, Kakarot!"

"Goku," Puar wailed, flying forward to cling to the bigger Saiyan's chest. "Please don't tell me you had sex with Yamcha! Please!"

"Puar, I'm sorry!" Goku shook his head back and forth. He tried to pry her off his body. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go—"

"Just tell me you didn't do it! Please!"

Goku bit his lip, absolutely dumbfounded. Yamcha's bed looked like a bomb had hit it, so there was no use in lying. Vegeta clenched both sides of his head. "Yes, we fucked Yamcha! Now let's  _go_ , Kakarot!"

Puar screamed. She collapsed into a furry heap on the floor. "How could you do this to me!" Tears poured from her beady eyes.

"Oh, Puar!" Goku was all teary-eyed himself. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know you two were, uh—"

"Yamcha, I hate you!" she wailed. "I hate, hate,  **hate**  you!"

"Stop being such a fucking  _bitch_! You don't own my body!" Yamcha screamed back from the hallway.

Goku grabbed his shirt from the floor, and side-stepped outside of the bedroom. "I'm sorry, guys!"

Once beyond the crowd of crying and screaming psychopaths, Vegeta helped Goku tug his shirt back on. He didn't have any patience for the comedy hour taking place in the apartment. "Can you take us to Capsule Corp right now?" he asked.

"Yes." Goku grabbed onto Vegeta's hand, held two fingers to his forehead, and transported them through space.

* * *

Goku felt like he was going to throw up. He and Vegeta stood beside the intercom outside of Capsule Corp. Goku's finger hovered in front of the call button for what seemed like an eternity to him. Eventually Vegeta grabbed hold of his wrist and pressed the button for him.

"Hello?" asked the female voice coming from the intercom.

"We're here to speak with Bulma Briefs," Goku said, his voice wavering.

"May I ask who this is?"

"Goku and Vegeta."

"One moment!"

The dead silence in the air filled him with dread. This may be the last moment of peace before walking into the storm. It surprised him when he felt a pressure in his palm. Vegeta held his hand. Supporting him.

"Hi again. Um…" The lady's voice hesitated. "This is a bit unusual, as I know you both are used to visiting. But Ms. Briefs says you are no longer allowed on the premises. I'm…sorry about that…"

Goku's heart skipped a beat. "We're not allowed to come in?"

"Correct. She told me to call the authorities if you step foot on our property. I really am sorry about this."

Vegeta shook his fist in the air. "Kakarot, I can sense her. She's in her bedroom."

Goku opened and closed his mouth. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the words out. Vegeta pulled him up into the air and led him to the south side of the office building. They landed right on Bulma's balcony.

The window to her room was locked shut. Vegeta jiggled the handle. "Woman, open up!"

Goku squinted his eyes to focus his vision. He could see Bulma sitting at her large vanity dresser with her back facing them. "Bulma?" he said at a half-shout. "Please let us talk to you."

She didn't move an inch. Vegeta managed to bend the metal of the window's lock, and pry it open. Goku's stomach spasmed with nausea. He felt like a burglar.

Once they both stepped foot inside, Bulma spun around in her chair. She flung a cast-iron hot comb at Goku's head. "Get  _out!"_

As a reflex, he dodged the comb. It smashed through one of the window panes and flew over the balcony. "Bulma, please listen to us!"

"No. No! I'm—" She pointed her index finger at Vegeta's chest. "I'm calling the cops."

Vegeta flew forward and pinned her arms to her sides. "Calm down and just hold on a sec—!"

"Get the  _fuck_  off of me!" She freed an arm and swiped Vegeta clean across the right side of his face. He hadn't anticipated she'd hit him. Four thin lines of blood blossomed across his cheek. Astonished, he released her and stumbled a few feet away.

Bulma panted. "You…You two…I can't believe it…" She backed into her vanity mirror. It nearly toppled over from her weight. "Especially you, Goku!"

"Chi-Chi, I'm sorr—" Goku slapped his hand over his mouth. What a horrible reflex.  _Shit, I can't believe I just—_

"I'm not like your  _fucking—dead—wife!_ " Bulma picked up a mug sitting on the edge of the dresser, and chucked it at the both of them. They jumped out of the way of the boiling water that sprayed everywhere. "I'm  _not_  like Chi-Chi! I'm not like her, Goku!"

Goku wiped his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. Please, I can explain."

"No. No!" She continued to hurl objects at the both of them. She had a pretty mean curveball; eventually she nailed Goku in the forehead with a metal hairbrush. "You can't treat me like shit like you did to her!"

"Goddammit, Bulma, it didn't mean anything!" Vegeta stepped closer to her again, this time with his arms raised in defense. The blood dripping down the side of his face didn't faze him. "It was just sex. You're  _completely_ overreacting!"

Once Bulma threw the last piece of makeup from her dresser at them, she burst into tears. "I hate that no matter how hard I hit, I can't hurt you!"

Goku wanted to hit Vegeta himself. Even  _he_  wasn't as dense as to say Bulma's reaction was uncalled for. "Bulma, we just did it as friends!"

"Oh, I bet!" She raised her thin arms into the air. "I'm sure you all became  _best friends_  once you both stuffed your cocks in him at the same time!"

Goku winced. "Bulma, I—"

"How was it, huh?" She walked up to him, poking her manicured nail into his chest. "Was it as good as it sounded over the phone?" She shoved Goku hard enough to make him stumble backwards. "Yamcha's dick is pretty big, right?  _Right?_ " Another shove, and he nearly fell over. "I didn't hear everything, but I bet you sucked the life out of that thing."

"I—"

"Well  _did_  you, Goku?"

"Ye…Yes…"

"Did you like sucking his dick?"

Goku averted his gaze from her narrow eyes. "Bulma!"

"Did you think about me at all? Even once?" She stomped on the carpet. "How do you think I would feel, knowing that the father of my child," she said while counting the fingers on her hand, "my best friend, and the man I lost my virginity to all had sex with each other at the same time?!"

"Don't do this to Kakarot," Vegeta said. "You know he doesn't mean anyone harm."

"Oh, shut- _up_ for  _once_ , Vegeta. You're not better than him just because I hold you to a lower standard!"

Bulma knew right where to hit him. He covered his eyes with the palm of his hand; Goku wondered if he was crying or just struggling to keep his anger at bay.

"Bulma, please." Goku gripped both his fists together in front of his chest. "I don't have any excuses. But I didn't do it to hurt you. I'm so, so sorry."

"Yeah." Venom dripped from her hollow voice. Compared to her earlier screaming, this was much more chilling. "You  _are_  sorry, Goku." She turned to look at Vegeta. "And you—you're just a  _slut_ , aren't you? You'd fuck anyone, no matter who it was."

Goku was startled by how quickly Vegeta reacted. The Prince held up the back of his hand inches from Bulma's face. He  _was_  crying. "Don't push me," he said, low.

"Do it!" Bulma laughed. She held her arms out to her sides, goading him. "I bet you've been waiting twenty years to hit me.  _Do_ it, you fucking coward!"

Somewhere inside of Goku, he really  _did_  believe Vegeta would hit her. And there was nothing he could do about it. A flash of blind rage sparked in Vegeta's eyes. He lowered his arm. Instead, he rushed forward and pulled her into an embrace.

Bulma screamed. The hug was destroying her. "Vegeta, no!" She thrashed and clawed at him. Trails of tears fell down her face and dripped onto her white shirt. He grabbed the back of her head and shoved it into his chest, where she screamed again.

"You took away my best friend," she sobbed.

Vegeta pulled away. "What?"

"Goku. My best friend. Son Goku." Sniffles warbled her voice. "This never would've happened if you two weren't together." She stumbled away from Vegeta's grasp, and collapsed onto her bed. "Now I don't have anyone except for Trunks."

Goku didn't mean to start crying. "That's not true, Bulma. I'm still your best friend. I still love you. Vegeta does too. You're not alone. I made a mistake, and I promise—"

"Stop it," she said. All the fight in her was gone. Tired, she hunched over. "You know what the worst part is?" She looked up at them both. "You two bring out the worst in each other. And you can't even see it."

 _That's not true. That's not true at all!_ Goku turned his head, and found Vegeta had turned to look at him as well. Their similar reactions affirmed something shameful inside of Goku. At that moment he hated himself. He wished Vegeta would defend him, maybe call Bulma a liar. But he did no such thing.

The phone in Goku's pocket buzzed again. The accusatory look Bulma shot him forced him to pull it out of his pocket to prove the caller wasn't Yamcha. "It's Marron," he said.  _Dammit Marron, what's the big deal?!_

Bulma pointed out her broken window. "Get out. I never want to see either of you again."

Vegeta turned his attention to the balcony. "Whether or not you allow me over here, I'm still going to see Trunks. Let's go, Kakarot."

Goku held onto Vegeta's hand, and transported them away from Capsule Corp.

* * *

Goku's house was empty. The lack of any ki signatures disturbed Vegeta after their arrival.  _Where the hell was Goten?_  Goku opened the front door, utterly silent. Vegeta followed in his footsteps.

Maybe Bulma was right to have lower expectations of him. Her violent outburst upset him, but after years of fighting with her, he assumed she'd get over it soon enough. Their relationship had been filled with passionate fights and lots of make-up sex. So this was similar to that, right? Except for the make-up sex part, of course.  _And_  the fact she'd never blown up at Goku like that before. In his mind Goku had always been the golden child that couldn't infuriate anyone for too long. So to see Bulma trash him before his very eyes was disturbing.

Hopefully in a few days all of this would blow over.

He walked beside Goku into the living room. "Kakarot, are you okay?" It was a dumb question. Of course Goku wasn't okay. His best friend of over thirty years had just kicked him out of her life. But Vegeta was no good at consoling others.

"No…" Goku sat down on the couch. He ran his hand over his face and through his scalp.  _The poor man has the thousand-yard stare_ , Vegeta thought. This was definitely the shittiest outcome to what had started out as a great date.

He walked to the bedroom to change out of his dirty clothes. Propped between the doorknob and the door sat a yellow slip of paper. "What's this?" He picked it up, and unfolded it.

He read it. He blinked. He read it again. "Kakarot."

Goku turned his head. "Yeah?"

"What the fuck?" Vegeta read it again. "What is this? 'The List'?"

Judging by how all of the color drained from his face, Goku knew  _exactly_  what it was Vegeta held in his hand.

Slowly, Vegeta walked back toward the couch. "Is this—" Vegeta stopped to scratch the back of his head, which was unnervingly uncharacteristic of him. "This is what you did to me the past few days."

Goku still hadn't spoken a word.

"This is, like—" Vegeta pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is obviously a means to try and mate with me."

Goku swiveled around on the couch. "Vegeta," he whispered.

Vegeta couldn't look at him. He spun around on his heel and walked into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and read the yellow sheet of paper again.  _So little Kakarot was actually paying close attention when I told him about the mating ritual._ Goku walked to the kitchen doorway, but stopped as if a preventative spell kept him from entering. "Vegeta, it's not what it looks like."

"Why are you lying to me right now?" Vegeta stared into Goku's unblinking eyes. "You were trying to mate with me without my permission. Right?"

Goku finally broke. "No, it's not like that at all! See, Bulma had this great idea for you to get closer to me—"

"You mean submit to you."

"Well,  _yeah_ , but she said if I followed these five steps then you'd be more willing to, um, submit. But I wanted to do all of these things to make you happy, and by the end you'd see all along you wanted to mate with me, and by then it'd be easy for us to—"

"Shut-up." Vegeta stood up from his chair. It tipped over backwards to the floor. The clatter resounded like a gunshot in the quiet kitchen. "So all of those things you asked me to do…and all of the things you did  _for_  me…was so you could control me? Bend me to your will?"

"No, Vegeta! I would never want that!"

"But." Vegeta grabbed at his hair. "But you _just_   _said_  that's what your plan was. I can't believe it." He pulled hard enough to loosen a few strands. "Wow. I'm…" He paced around in a circle.

"Please, Vegeta, don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad. I'm…in awe. This was a brilliant plan. You almost finished it, too."

Goku backed away from him. Vegeta knew why. Goku assumed he would fly off the handle. He probably thought the Prince would punch and scream himself hoarse. But since he wasn't doing any such thing, Goku didn't know how to handle the situation. So retreating was the safest option.

"No." Vegeta shook his head. For some reason a dull pain throbbed in the front of his skull. It was difficult for him to maintain his balance. Was Bulma right about everything all along? "I should've known better."

"You should've known what?" Goku sounded a million miles away.

Vegeta raised his hands in the air. He tugged both rings off his fingers. "I don't want these anymore."

"Why—"

"Take them." He shoved his extended palm clutching the rings into Goku's face. "I don't want  _anything_  from you anymore."

Goku gave a weak smile. "You don't mean that, Vegeta."

He snapped. " _Fuck you!_ " Vegeta pitched both rings out the kitchen window. They flew miles away to land somewhere in the forest, lost forever. "How  _dare_ you!" With his hand now free, he slapped Goku across the face. "You don't get to speak to me that way!"

Goku clutched the throbbing welt on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care if you're sorry. You're shit to me." On that note, Vegeta left the kitchen and headed to the bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

Goku nearly toppled Vegeta over. He clung to his waist and was half-way falling to the floor. "You can't mean that!"

Vegeta didn't want to cry. Tears welled in his eyes. "I'm not coming back this time."

"You're joking, right?" Goku continued to pull on him.

Vegeta wished he could float away from his body and let someone else deal with this. Even when fighting with Bulma things didn't get this dramatic. He wanted to believe he could just walk out the door in the next few minutes with only a short fight to suffer through. But Goku was going to drag this ordeal out for however long it took. Vegeta never had a man beg him to stay before, and it rattled him to the core. "Be a fucking man and get up off the floor!"

"Please don't leave me, Vegeta."

Vegeta laughed through his tears. "Didn't you hear me? I'm done with you. You're nothing to me now." Vegeta tugged them both toward the dresser in the corner. He pulled his clothes out in rapid succession and threw them onto the floor.

"Don't say that. You don't mean it. Please." Goku tugged on his shoulders. "Come here. Let me show you that you don't mean it."

Vegeta felt himself get dragged to the floor and pulled into a deep kiss. Goku's wet mouth stung the fresh scratches on his face. "Kakarot, please." Vegeta found himself kissing back, crying even harder. "I can't do this anymore…"

Goku pulled his sweater off. He shoved Vegeta down onto his back. "Make love to me," he whispered.

Vegeta wiggled away from beneath his grasp. "You're pathetic if you think that'll make me want to stay." He rushed to the closet and pulled out a duffle bag. He wiped away the tears from his face before turning around again. With a blank expression, he packed all of his things away into the bag.

Goku covered his face. "Why do you want to hurt me so badly?"

Vegeta dropped the bag. " _I'm_  hurting  _you_?" He pointed accusingly at Goku. "Do you want to know a secret, Kakarot? Do you know how many men I've actually allowed to fuck me?"

Goku looked up at him, speechless.

"You and Freiza. That's it." He sliced his hand through the air. "And predictably, you've lived up to him."

"That's not true!"

"It  _is_  true. Like him, you are nothing but a liar and manipulator."

Goku shook his head. "I'm not like him. I'm not. You're in love with me."

"No, Kakarot. I do not love you anymore."

Goku sat on the floor and cried like a child. Vegeta couldn't stand to watch. It broke his heart and made him feel embarrassed at the same time. Goku stifled his sobs long enough to cough out a few words. "I can't live without you."

" _Stop_  your fucking _crying_!" Vegeta clenched his eyes shut. "Why do you always think only about yourself? About what  _you_  want and need? Don't you know I thought about mating with you? Did you ever stop and think for one fucking second," he panted, "that part of me wanted to be with you forever, too?"

Goku gaped at him. "What?"

"I loved you with every fiber of my being. I would've died for you, Kakarot. I fucking  _adored_ you. But you took advantage of that. Crushed me under your little thumb like I was nothing. So I have to leave before there  _is_  nothing of me left." With that, Vegeta picked up his things and headed for the front door.

Goku didn't follow him. Vegeta was glad to finally be outside of that horrible bedroom. But somewhere far away, a woman's screams were drowning out Goku's sobs.  _Huh_?

"Uncle Goku! Uncle Goku!" Marron's voice rose from somewhere outside. Vegeta jogged back into the kitchen to look out the window. There she was a dozens of yards away, sprinting full speed toward him. She ran through the grass barefoot while dangling her sandals from her outstretched hand.

"What's the matter?" Vegeta yelled.

"Tell him to run away!" she screamed.

 _What the hell is going on?_ "What?!"

"Tell Uncle Goku to get as far away as possible! They're coming for him!"

Someone knocked on the front door. "Fuck, has the whole world gone mad?" Vegeta ran to the front door, and flung it open.

Before him stood Krillin. "Hey, Vegeta…" He was wearing his police uniform.

"What the hell do you want?" Vegeta spat.

Krillin looked over his shoulder. Behind him outside were several cop cars parked in the dirt road. He unleashed a deep sigh, then readjusted his police hat. "I hate to be the one to come here and do this."

"Krillin?" Goku's hoarse voice came from the hallway. He walked slowly to the front door. He ignored Vegeta. "What's going on?"

Krillin gaped at Goku's tear-stained face and puffy eyes. "Goku, I have some bad news." He sighed. "You're under arrest."

"What?" Goku and Vegeta said in unison.

"You know that painting you destroyed?" Krillin laughed. "Turns out they take that kind of thing very seriously over there! It was all over the news yesterday!"

"You've  _got_  to be kidding me," Goku groaned. "I can't be arrested for something like that! Besides, it was an accident!"

"I know, I know. I think it's stupid, too. Had you done that here instead of half-way across the world, it wouldn't be a big deal."

Goku scratched the back of his head and sniffled. "Um…How long do they want me in jail for?"

"They're just requesting out country hands you over to them. So I have no idea." Krillin looked over his shoulder again, as if being watched. "I don't have much time. But if you really wanted to get out of this mess, you could just head over to my house. I can say I didn't find you here. Then maybe Gohan could help figure out the rest."

Goku laughed out loud. The chipper noise startled Vegeta. Goku smiled, but it was devoid of its usual cheer. "Vegeta, what do  _you_  think I should do?"

Vegeta stared back at him. "I don't care what happens to you anymore."

Goku laughed again, this time with a bitter edge. "Okay then. Krillin, let's go." He held out both of his wrists. "You're supposed to cuff me, right?"

Krillin gasped. "Goku, I'm serious. This is  _dumb_. Just head over to my house—"

"No. I want to go."

Krillin's shoulders slumped. He pulled out his handcuffs, and slapped them around Goku's wrists. They barely fit. "You have the right to remain silent…"

Vegeta stood witness as Krillin pushed Goku out the front door. He led his friend to one of the cop cars. Right after he opened the back door, Goku turned to look at Vegeta. He mouthed something Vegeta couldn't read on his lips. Even though he felt absolute hatred for Earth's savior, Vegeta wanted to know what it was Goku could possibly say to him in his last moments.

Goku disappeared into the car. A minute later, they were all gone as soon as they came.

Marron ran up the front path of the house. "Uncle Goku is gone," she cried out, skidding to a stop. She doubled over to catch her breath. "He's gone. He's gone!"

Vegeta glared down at her. His duffle bag was still slung over his shoulder. "I know."

She looked up at him. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet." He grabbed her small hand and tugged. "Come inside."

* * *

Goten bubbled over with joy. He flew over the vast forest near his home with a song in his heart. Hopefully his father finally came home so he could share the news with him. Naturally Vegeta wouldn't like it, but who cared! In the course of the past four days, his life had changed forever.

He landed in front of the Son home. Gracefully, he pirouetted, then leapt onto the front porch. "Dad! Oh Da-aaaad!" He unlocked the front door, and stepped in.

It was nearly pitch dark inside. That was the first thing that tipped him off something was wrong. Sitting on the couch were Vegeta and Marron. Marron had her arms wrapped around Vegeta's waist. Her red cheeks were stained with tears. Vegeta looked worse for wear himself.

"Uh, hey everybody!" Goten leapt in front of the couch. "I have great news!"

"Your father is being carted off to some foreign prison," Vegeta said.

Goten blinked. "What did you say?"

"Kakarot got arrested about an hour ago. Yesterday he destroyed a priceless painting. So now he's being punished."

Goten rubbed his eyes. Was this all a dream? "I don't— _what?_ Dad is gone?"

"Yes."

"Well, let's go save him!"

"He wanted to go."

Goten flopped down on the couch next to Vegeta. His head rolled back to rest on the couch cushions. "Why would he want to leave? I just don't get—"

"Goten. Listen." Vegeta looked down at Marron. "Your father and I are no longer in a relationship together."

" _Whaaat_? What happened?!"

Vegeta sighed. "It's a long story. And I'm tired."

"What's going to happen to  _me_ , then?"

Goten watched Vegeta's face twist in anger for a brief moment. Seconds later it returned to its normal, blank expression. "I suppose…I need to take care of you."

Guilt washed over Goten. Was he a burden to Vegeta now? Is that why he was angry? Or was it because of the nasty four scars on his face? All of the information—or lack thereof—was overwhelming. And he didn't even have his father around to ask for advice. Once again, Goku was gone for an indefinite amount of time.

"Don't be that way." Vegeta winced, then rose his hand to pat Goten on the head.

 _Is this how he shows affection_? Goten thought. "Don't be what way?"

"You have huge puppy-dog eyes like your father used to give me when he was upset."

"Uh, okay…"

"Hey." Marron interrupted their conversation. Goten was grateful; it was leading nowhere. "Will you two please come live with me?"

Goten jerked his head back. "Why would I move?" He swiveled his head back and forth. "What's going on, guys?"

Vegeta ignored him. "I don't know if Krillin would allow that."

"I'll convince Dad!" Marron tugged on Vegeta's shirt. "Please, don't stay here alone!"

"Fine." Vegeta pat Marron on the head in the same fashion as Goten. "Ask him. If he hasn't made a decision after 30 minutes…well." He looked at Goten. "Maybe Kakarot's child can stay with his brother or Bulma. And I'll find somewhere else to live."

"Guys,  _why_  are we talking about moving out!"

Marron pulled out her cell. "Like Uncle Vegeta said, it's a long story. But I don't think he should stay here if he's not with Uncle Goku anymore."

Goten sunk deeper into the couch. Why did everyone always treat him like he was too stupid to be owed an explanation?

"By the way," Marron said, wiping away a few lingering tears in the corners of her eyes. "I could go for some good news right now. What were you going to tell us earlier?"

"Oh." Goten rest his chin in his hand. "I just wanted to tell everyone I was in love."


	14. Part Fourteen

Vegeta thought Goku would come back.

The clock on the mantle beside his guest bed read 12:00AM. The perfect time to have a bout of insomnia and guilt.

Krillin was kind enough to offer him a room on the second floor of his home. Never before had Vegeta been offered such an extreme act of goodwill. Bulma had let him live at Capsule Corp, but that was markedly different. He'd never expressed to her that a company building wasn't the same as a home. It wasn't cozy and intimate like the Son house. Krillin's home had a similar warmth that enveloped all who entered.

Getting used to that homey feeling all over again was hard on him.

When Krillin asked Vegeta earlier if he wanted to eat dinner with them, Vegeta declined. He simply rushed upstairs with his things, showered, and crawled into bed. Downstairs he could hear them gossiping about him and Goku. Marron, bless her heart, explained things the best a teenage girl could. Earlier that day, Vegeta simply told her Goku betrayed his trust. None of the gritty details were brought up. Krillin and 18 were insatiable and wanted to know more. Vegeta was sure he'd have to deal with a round of questions in the morning.

Goten was asleep in a different room down the hall. The thought brought previously dulled anger back to the surface.  _Kakarot, how could you abandon your son?_

The boy was only a few months shy of seventeen. Earth children had to be coddled for much longer than what was accepted on Planet Vegeta. Was he expected to be Goten's father now?

Vegeta rolled over onto his stomach.

He thought Goku would come back.

The guilt returned. He'd never been good at arguing. In the only other relationship he had, it worked perfectly fine to scream whatever hurt Bulma the most to get her to shut-up. A few hours after every fight, things predictably returned back to normal.

_So why isn't that working now?_

Goku's little plot to trick him into mating had pissed him off. Immensely. He hated having secrets kept from him. It reminded him of when he was in Frieza's army. Goku didn't know it, but Vegeta had killed people for less offensive acts of betrayal. Telling the third-class he didn't love him anymore felt like the closest thing to murder.

But now Goku was gone. Possibly for good.

"Kakarot, where are you?" he asked aloud. As if speaking the words might summon him. Goku could come back if he really wanted to. So why hadn't he? Vegeta counted on Goku to always fight for his love. During their argument, he assumed Goku would give him a few hours to blow off some steam, then happily come running after him. The arrest complicated things, sure, but that wasn't  _his_  fault Goku was in trouble. He expected Goku to be here, right now, groveling and begging for forgiveness. Admitting he was wrong. Vegeta wouldn't give in to him just off the bat, but the Prince  _deserved_  to be pampered before bestowing his mercy!

_Right?_

Vegeta smashed his face into his pillow. Maybe if he sat like this long enough, he'd smother himself and get put out of his misery. "I'm fucking stupid," he groaned.

Someone gently knocked on his door. He heard a pitter-patter of feet, before they quickly disappeared. He dragged himself from bed and looked outside. Near his feet sat a bowl of vanilla ice cream, two fortune cookies, and a note. He picked up the heap of items and returned to bed.

 _I'm turning into a fucking slob_ , he thought drearily as he shoved the ice cream into his mouth. He wanted to hate his body and starve it, but he couldn't deny how delicious the confection tasted on his tongue. With his free hand he opened up the note. It was written on cute anime stationary:

 _Please enjoy the presents. Drop by my studio tonight and I'll show you some of my art!_ – Love, Marron

It was sweet. But he didn't think he could muster the energy to leave his room so late. He cracked open the first fortune cookie, then read it:

_It takes more than liking something to be good at it._

"What kind of shitty fortune is that?" he yelled. He ate the cookie, then cracked open the second one:

_It takes one year to become halfway-decent at something new._

"Straight garbage," he said through a mouthful of ice cream. Did Marron have a bag full of downer, existential bullshit fortune cookies or something?

He finished all the food, then placed the ice cream dish back outside his door. Hopefully the sugar rush didn't keep him awake.

* * *

When morning came, Vegeta finally rolled out of bed. The little sleep he did get was tainted with dreams of spiky-haired ghosts tugging on his every limb. As tired as he was, it was a relief to be conscious again.

The sun shined brightly into his room.  _Time to put an end to that shit._  He closed the blinds shut. Promptly, he rolled back into bed.

"I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem…And yeah, I like to fuck, I got a fuckin' problem…"

He opened his eyes.  _What the hell is that noise?_  He crawled out of bed and cracked open the door. 18 stood a few feet away, vacuuming and dancing in the middle of the hallway. Beside her foot sat a huge boom box. She swiveled her shoulders and hips to the beat, rapping along with the lyrics. "If findin' somebody real is your fuckin' problem, bring your girls to the crib, maybe we can solve it..."

Vegeta leaned against the door jamb. Patiently he waited for 18 to turn around. Her reaction surprised him. "Hey," she said, a small grin on her face. She bent over to turn down the music.

He managed to crack a smile. "I never took you as a rap fan."

18 shrugged. "This song is about my life, right?" She laughed out loud at her own joke. "I'm surprised you know anything about music."

"I'm not like Kakarot. I actually like things other than fighting and eating."

"You're right. You two  _are_ pretty different."

He felt the urge to retreat back to the safety of his room. "I'm heading back to bed."

"Nu-uh." She wagged a finger in the air. "You look like crap. Take a shower and come downstairs for lunch."

"No, I'm not—" he paused. "Lunch? What the hell time is it?"

"It's after one." She leaned closer to his face. "It doesn't look like you got much beauty sleep, though."

Vegeta scoffed. "I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask if you were hungry. Get showered, get dressed, and come downstairs. I'll give you thirty minutes."

He stepped back into his bedroom, and shut the door. The last thing he wanted to do was move his body. It was shameful to admit, but he didn't even feel the natural urge to train. Why couldn't the woman just let him wallow in his post-breakup misery?

Showering was harder than anticipated.  _I knew leaving bed was a bad idea,_ he thought. Every single little thing reminded him of Goku. Only several days ago they showered together over at Capsule Corp. After cleaning himself, he studied his reflection in the mirror. His hair still wasn't as long as it  _should_  have been. In the back of his mind he wondered if he hallucinated ever seeing his father's ghost.

He got dressed. In the pocket of his jeans he found the photograph Goku wished for with the Dragon Balls. Had he found it yesterday, he probably would've ripped it to shreds. He buried it in the bottom of his bag, then ran downstairs.

Marron and 18 sat at the dining room table together. A third place mat was set for him beside Marron. He was glad 18 had faith he'd actually come down to eat.

"There's stew from dinner." She pointed at the enormous pot in the middle of the table. "Since you didn't eat last night, you have to eat twice as much today. Got it?"

"Yes, mother," Vegeta replied. 18 smirked back at him as she watched him load his bowl with simmering stew.

"Did you sleep okay?" Marron asked. Her long blond hair was pulled into a messy bun. Bags sat beneath her glassy eyes.

"I slept fine," he lied. Tentatively he shoved a spoonful of the broth into his mouth.  _Damn, she's a good cook._

"So." 18 placed her spoon down and gazed directly into Vegeta's eyes. "Are you going to tell us what really happened yesterday?"

"Is my telling you contingent on whether or not I can stay here?"

"No need to be sassy about it, Vegeta. I'm just curious." She was smiling again.

Vegeta looked over at Marron. "Some parts aren't… _appropriate_  to discuss around children."

"I'm not a child!" It was the first time Vegeta heard Marron raise her voice. "Don't insult my intelligence, Uncle Vegeta. I know what sex is."

Vegeta looked toward 18 for help. 18 stared at the ceiling as if making a decision. "Marron, I'll tell you what you need to know later, okay?"

Marron stood up from the table. "This isn't fair, you know." She picked up her bowl. "I helped Uncle Goku a lot in the past few days, so I need to know if  _I_ did something wrong. I noticed Uncle Vegeta isn't wearing the ring I made for him."

18 perked up at that. "You made him a ring?"

Vegeta sighed. "Please, Marron…Leave me alone with your mother just for a short while."

Marron walked out of the room with her food. "I'll be in my studio if you need me."

 _Oh, shit._  He'd forgotten about her note from last night. Once the door to the patio slammed shut behind her, Vegeta slumped over in relief. He'd have to visit her later.

18 leaned forward with her chin in her hands, completely riveted. "Okay, spill all of the juicy details!"

"Fine." Vegeta finished up his bowl of stew, then topped it off again with a second helping. "I don't want you telling anyone else about it, though."

"My lips are sealed!" Her blue eyes widened. "Did Goku cheat on you?" She gasped. "Did he have sex with Bulma?!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "What are you, crazy?"

"How am I the crazy one? You're the one who ended the best thing that's ever happened to you!"

 _That_  stung. "Oh, what do  _you_  know about any of it!"

"I don't know  _anything_. Which is why you need to tell me something I can work with already!"

Vegeta relented, and explained to her how the Saiyan mating ritual worked. He went on to explain how Goku planned to trick him into finishing the ritual. "Not only that, but he conspired with Bulma to make me submit to him."

"What do you mean by 'submit'? Is that different from you sealing your fate as the 'submissive' one if you ever mated?"

"You know," he mumbled, waving his hand in the air. "He coerced me into bottoming for him."

"What do you mean by 'bottoming'?"

"You know  _exactly_  what I mean."

"I do, but I want you to spell it out for me."

 _What an evil woman!_ "He made me want to get fucked in the ass, okay?"

She laughed so loud, the noise made him jump in his chair. "You're telling me," she said, holding her sides, "that Goku 'tricked' you into doing that?"

A blush crept over his face. "What's so funny!"

"I think you're using the word 'tricked' a bit liberally." She giggled. "What, did Goku put a banana peel on the floor and you slipped and fell on his dick?"

Vegeta crossed his arms. "It makes perfect sense to feel betrayed by such a thing!"

She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Vegeta, you're so stupid. It sounds like Goku just wanted to show you that you'd like it, and you're just pissed it worked so well."

 _Ugh! How dare she!_ "You don't even know what you're talking about! I'm sure if Krillin did something similar, you'd be furious with him." He shoved more food into his mouth to stop himself from cursing her out.

Now she was  _really_  laughing her ass off. "Vegeta! Krillin's a normal person. He would just ask me first, and we'd talk about it!"

"He  _did_  ask me first." Vegeta dropped his spoon.  _Oh._

"He did? And what was your response?"

Vegeta thought back to that day that seemed so long ago. Once the memory caught up to him, he frowned. "We were in the middle of having sex when he asked. So I pushed him off the bed and yelled at him." He shrunk into his chair. "Then I told him having sex with his brother was better than sex with him."

18's eyes were as big as saucers. "Oh my God," she screamed in laughter. "You're insane!" She pounded her fist on the table. "Buahaha!"

"Ugh…" Vegeta massaged his temples. He really had to do something about his recurring migraines. "I never thought about that moment until now."

"I bet. I'm not surprised Goku had to write up a plan just to bang you." 18 finally settled down. She breathed in and out slowly. "Wow. Okay. That was  _really_  funny. I'm sorry. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. It's just the dumbest thing I've heard in years."

"You don't mince your words, do you."

"It's not necessary." She took a sip of water from her glass. She exhaled. "I don't want to get too much into your business. But I don't think you're ready for a real relationship."

Vegeta finished eating the last bits of meat in his bowl. He didn't want 18 to notice how red his face was. "I stayed with Bulma for about two decades. I think I know how to handle a relationship at this point."

"Obviously not. If Krillin told me having sex with one of my family members was better than with me, he wouldn't hear the end of it."

Vegeta looked up at her. It never occurred to him that hurling biting insults at the ones you loved wasn't a normal thing to do. "So what, Kakarot is just innocent in all of this?"

"No, I'm not saying  _that_ , Vegeta." She rolled her shoulders and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know Goku as well as you do. But based on what Krillin's told me, it seems like he didn't have an ideal marriage. What does he know about solving relationship problems?"

He already knew that. Hell, he could talk all day about how screwed up Goku's marriage with Chi-Chi was. But he never thought about how that affected them both  _now_.

"Tell me. Have you and Goku ever tried  _talking_  through a problem?"

"Rarely. Usually he just tried to make me happy."

"I'm sure Goku thinks if he loves you hard enough, things will just get better. But it doesn't work that way."

Vegeta was uncomfortable with their dynamic at the table. She was starting to sound like a marriage counselor, which was more than he bargained for. All of her comments were tiny pins being pushed into his body at specific weak points he hoped to ignore.

"You know what your problem is?" she said. "You think your pride is the only thing you have going for you."

Vegeta sighed. "Okay. What's your point?"

"Don't you think Goku loves you for more reasons than that? He obviously thinks highly of you. Why do you think that is?"

Vegeta blinked. It was a strange question to be asked. He knew Goku respected him as a warrior. But as a lover, why _did_  the third-class want him so badly? If she'd turned the question around and asked why  _he_  longed for Goku, he could give reasons all day long. "I don't know why Kakarot loves me." It hurt to say that out loud and in front of someone else.

"Oh, here's a bright idea!" she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Maybe you should…figure out what those reasons are!"

"Why?"

"Do I have to spell out everything? What the hell good will you be in a relationship if you hate yourself." She picked up her dirty dishes and rose from the table. "That is, if Goku even wants a relationship with you anymore."

"You're leaving already?"

She smiled. "I didn't think you wanted me to lecture you any longer, what with that pitiful look on your face."

He tapped his chin, wondering if he should come clean about the  _other_  thing. 18 seemed like the kind of person to spread gossip around, but at this point maybe it was futile to hide it any longer. Their talk had sobered him up in a way he hadn't experienced in a long time. So maybe she had advice on how to deal with the mother of his child. "There  _is_  something else that happened yesterday."

"Oh?" She sat back down, eyes glimmering with interest again.

"Bulma is no longer Goku's friend."

"WHAT!" She got out of her chair and sat down in the one Marron previously occupied. "What the hell happened with Bulma? You didn't mention this earlier!"

"It's not related to the break-up. I think." Vegeta exhaled. "Goku and I had a threesome with Yamcha, which pissed her off. She doesn't want to see either of us again."

"Ooooh. Oh, shit." 18 grinned. "I never knew you two were so kinky! No one ever tells me anything!"

"Is that all you care about?" he asked.

"I  _have_  to know more. How did she even find out?"

"It was an accident. I sat on Kakarot's stupid phone, and I guess it dialed her—"

"In the middle of the threesome! Oh my God!" She laughed again. "That's hilarious!"

 _Does she enjoy all of our suffering?!_  "Bulma didn't find it funny at all. When we went to talk to her later, she screamed and cried the whole damn time."

"Haha! You two are just alike, huh? The biggest drama queens on the face of the planet."

Okay,  _now_  he had to put his foot down. "Why are you acting like this is just a big joke?"

"Didn't she date Yamcha when she was a teenager or something?" She caught the look on Vegeta's face, and held her hands up in defense. "Sorry, Vegeta. It just sounds fishy to me, you know?"

 _Fishy?_ "What do you mean?"

"Sure, it wasn't  _nice_ you did that. All three of you guys had a huge impact on her life. But." She tapped her fingernails against the table. "Who was she more upset with? You or Goku?"

"Kakarot." He pointed at his face. "She got a few swipes in at me, though. She blamed me for taking her 'best friend' away from her."

"That's strange."

Vegeta waited for her to speak again. He filled the silence. "I'll bite. What's strange about it?"

"Come on. Goku is a sweetheart. If anything, she should be blaming  _you_  for corrupting his innocence if she cared so much about losing her supposed best friend."

"What are you getting at, 18?"

"Oh, come  _on_ Vegeta. Let's say Yamcha wasn't even involved, but you still butt dialed her during sex. How do you think she'd feel about that?"

"How the hell would I know? She's always acting like she thinks we're cute together. Honestly I'm surprised she didn't find the whole thing to be funny."

18 rolled her eyes. "Right. So Bulma hasn't done  _anything_ lately that was strange? A bit off? She's just happy all of the time?"

"Yes, she seemed perfectly fine until yesterday. She even helped Goku plan our date."

18 slapped her forehead. "You're kidding, right? You're telling me your ex…helped plan a date with your new, sexy boyfriend?"

"Listen," Vegeta said. "I don't know anything about the intricacies of the minds of Earth women. So spare me all the judgment and just tell me what the hell you're trying to say!"

By the way her eyes darted away from him, she was thinking carefully about the next words to come from her mouth. She decided to change the subject. "Did you get a chance to explain it had nothing to do with her?"

"Not at all. She went berserk. She banned Kakarot and me from stepping foot on Capsule Corp ever again."

"Wow." 18's grin continued to grow. "I bet if you talked to her when she wasn't screaming, you'd find out what was actually going on in her head."

"It sounds like…you know something I don't," Vegeta said slowly.

"I don't  _exactly_. I'm not close with Bulma. But based on what you told me, I have a feeling something else is going on she isn't telling you." She smirked. "But maybe I'm wrong, and she's a perfectly rational-thinking person like  _you_!"

Vegeta covered his face. "Fine. I'll talk to her. She probably blocked my number, though."

"I bet she only did that for Goku."

He raised a brow. This was only his second in-depth conversation with Android 18, but already she managed to glean so much from his life. Was he always just an open book to everyone around him? Or was she just more perceptive than any of Goku's other friends?

"One question, Vegeta. If you could go back in time without Bulma ever finding out about the threesome, would you do it again?"

Vegeta bit his lip. "Of course I would, it was fucking great."  _Except for Puar getting involved. That shit was weird._

18 laughed. "You're a pretty funny guy. How about you call Bulma, then afterwards you can tell me more about the threesome?"

"What do you mean? Do you want  _details_?"

"Come on, the details are the best part! Do you think I'm just talking to you for my health?" She gathered all the dirty dishes up from the table, then walked into the kitchen. "Good luck, lover boy," she said over her shoulder.

He leaned back in his chair. Was she right about Bulma? He pulled out his phone and called her. The phone rang several times. He was sure she wasn't going to pick up and moved to end the call himself, right before he heard her voice. "Vegeta?" she asked.

 _Well I'll be damned._ "Hi."

"What do you want? I'm busy." There was an edge in her voice.

"I want to talk.  _Actually_ talk. About yesterday."

The line was silent. He heard Bulma sigh in hesitation. "I don't want to see you and Goku—"

"It would just be me coming over."

"Oh."

Vegeta counted the seconds of silence. "If that's okay with you."

"I think it is. Can you come around ten? To my room."

"That works for me."

"Alright. See you then." She hung up.

18 peeked her head out the kitchen door. "I told you."

"Hmph." Vegeta crossed his arms. "That was easy."

"So…" 18 leapt forward and landed in the chair next to Vegeta. "The threesome. Details. Every. Single. One."

It was going to be a long haul until ten o'clock.

* * *

"Maaan…this sucks," Goku whined.

Deep in the arctic tundra in the northern part of the planet, Goku sat imprisoned in one of the world's worst prison camps. Oddly enough, the reasons it was notoriously awful for normal people didn't apply to Goku.

How he ended up in such a strange place was a blur to him. He allowed himself to be passed along through different states until he ended up in front of a foreign tribunal. Several men in ominous cloaks debated whether or not to end his life for destroying the painting. Goku wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he couldn't grasp why it was such a big deal. When asked if he understood the gravity of his crimes, he shrugged. He just thought,  _Boy, they sure love art here!_

They decided he'd be most useful alive. "You must suffer for your crimes against Monet," one of the men on the tribunal cried through tears. "May God have mercy on your soul!"

Goku loved humans, but sometimes they came off as more alien than himself.

The prison he was transported to wasn't large: only 50 men were kept within its cold, underground fortress. Because of the below-freezing temperatures, men took turns throughout the day stoking a struggling furnace near their hammocks.

They were given only three pieces of clothing: a heavy parka, snow boots, and earmuffs. The earmuffs secondary function was to keep the cold out. Primarily they were used to prevent everyone's eardrums from bursting from the howling winds in the world above ground.

All prisoners were assigned the same task as punishment. Using only pickaxes, they had to dig a tunnel connecting the prison camp to a city one thousand miles west from their location. It was essentially an impossible task intended for life-long punishment. Goku figured if he really wanted to leave, it would take him a few days tops to get the job done.

None of these things bothered Goku much. Well, the cold  _was_  grating on his nerves. He hated being cold. What bothered him the most was how  _hungry_ he was! The food rations in the camp were horrible. For the first time in his life he actually forwent eating; it would've been criminal to take food away from some of the frail men he bunked with.

So not only did he have to deal with the love of his life leaving him…he had to be  _hungry_. And  _cold_. The combination made him feel absolutely bitchy.

On his second day of imprisonment, he spoke to another prisoner for the first time. "Hey, are you hungry?"

The man put down his pickax. "What the hell kind of question is that?" he responded in a thick accent Goku couldn't place.

"Do you want me to get us some food from outside?"

The man looked at Goku like he had two heads. "If you go out there, you'll die."

Goku shrugged. "Whatever. I'll be back."

There weren't any guards stationed in the prison. It made sense to Goku—it wasn't like anyone could escape if they wanted. There was only one sealed door that led to the outside world. For any normal person, stepping outside meant an immediate death sentence. Every day the prison warden would come through the door to leave them food, then hastily leave in a high-tec helicopter.

When Goku approached the sealed door, he opened it with ease. He stepped out into the freezing air. "Brrr!" The winds were strong enough to send him tumbling backwards into frozen ground. The eternal snowstorm filled the world with blinding light. How was he supposed to find any food when he couldn't even see two inches in front of his face?

"Ah, forget this." He placed two fingers on his forehead and focused. Where should he go? It'd be easy to go hunting somewhere else on the planet and bring the spoils back to prison.

He ignored the voice in his head screaming to find Vegeta. The Prince absolutely ripped his heart in two, and Goku had little hope he'd ever see him again without a fight. He wondered if Vegeta was even thinking about him at all. Maybe Goku was completely off base in understanding how serious mating was on Planet Vegeta. Perhaps for Vegeta it was a much more sacred practice than Goku thought, and Goku broke some unspoken code by not being upfront about his plan.

 _Dammit_. He didn't know  _anything_! He wished he could just talk to Vegeta about it, but Vegeta didn't want anything to do with him ever again. Was what he did so awful it didn't even warrant a conversation? He'd never screwed up so badly in his life.

 _Maybe it wouldn't hurt to find Goten. He's probably worried sick._ He concentrated his mind on sensing Goten's specific energy in the world. The wind nipped at his cheeks until they numbed. Finally, he sensed the energy, and disappeared.

Seconds later, he appeared inside of a small room. Whatever time it was in this part of the world, the sun had already set. It was dark, but he could clearly see two figures wrestling each other on the bed against the wall. "Goten?" he whispered.

"DAD!" Goten peeped his head out from beneath the sheets. "Dad, is it really you?!"

Goku smiled. "This is Krillin's house, right? What're you doing here?"

"Oh, Dad!" Goten started to climb out of the bed, but stopped himself. "Uh, I don't have any clothes on."

Goku raised a brow. "Who is…?"

Trunks shyly slid his head out from beneath the covers. "Hi Goku."

"Oh, wow!" Goku covered his eyes. "I hope I wasn't interrupting something!" He blushed. "But congratulations, son!"

Goten scratched the back of his head and grinned. "Thanks, Dad! It's okay! I'm so happy to see you! I would hug you, except, um—"

Goku waved his hands. "Don't worry about it." He looked around, and spotted an office chair. He pulled it beneath him, then sat down in it backwards. "I'm so sorry I left without saying anything. Things got complicated yesterday."

Goten pouted. "I was pretty upset at first. But I'm doing okay over here. It's actually pretty fun, being somewhere new." Under the sheets, Goten pulled his knees to his chest. "But since you're here, does that mean you're back for good?"

Goku quirked his mouth. "I don't think so, kiddo. I've got some things I need to figure out." He paused. "Unless you really need me to come back. I'll do it for you."

"Well…I do want you to come back. But if you're figuring out how to make things work with Vegeta, I think I understand." He smiled at Trunks.

"Oh, boy." Goku dropped his head. "I'm guessing everyone knows by now?"

"I think only the people in this house know you went to prison. If you're talking about you and Vegeta breaking up, I think that's still the case. I'm not even sure Bulma knows."

"She doesn't," Trunks said, finally speaking up. In the dark light he looked a lot older than Goten, which weirded Goku out. "But I  _do_  know she's pissed at Dad and Goku for some reason."

"Oh…yeah…" Goku scratched the back of his head. "Bulma's mad at me too."

"Dad, what did you do that was so bad?"

"Maybe I'll tell you when you're older."

Trunks made a snorting noise so similar to Vegeta's, Goku's stomach dropped for a second. "I think we can handle whatever it is you did," Trunks said.

 _Damn, that boy has an attitude as bad as his father's._ Goku smirked. "Come on, Trunks. You don't want to know about me and your dad's sex life."

Trunk's right eye twitched. "I guess you're right about that."

Goten snapped his fingers. "I have a great idea. Why don't you go talk to Vegeta now? He's just down the hall."

Goku nearly fell out of the chair. "What is he doing here?!"

"He didn't want to stay at our house anymore."

 _So Vegeta just abandoned my house? I guess that makes sense he wouldn't stay._ "I don't sense his ki at all. He can't be here." Goku closed his eyes. Vegeta  _could_ be suppressing his energy just like he was doing right now. "It's pretty late…"

"Just do it!" Trunks and Goten said at the same time.

"Okay, okay. Geez." Goku felt their eyes push him out of the room. Whatever it was they were doing before he came, they were urgent to return to it. Slowly, he crept into the hall. Two other doors were nearby, one of them leading to a small bathroom. The last door had to go to Vegeta's room.

He gulped. He hadn't planned for a confrontation now. He gently rapped on the door. "Vegeta?"

The door gave way to his weight. He peeped his head inside. It was empty.

He felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. Typical of Vegeta, the room was sparse. Goku fell back onto the bed, and smelled the sheets. Vegeta's scent covered everything. His eyes watered. He wondered if this was the last time he'd be this close to the Prince ever again. "Vegeta, I still love you," he sighed into the bed.

 _GrrRp!_ He clutched his growling stomach. Amazingly, he'd forgotten he was hungry! "I hope Krillen doesn't mind if I take a few things from the fridge," he said. He left the room and tip-toed downstairs.

* * *

It was precisely ten o'clock when Vegeta landed on Bulma's balcony. A chill ran up his spine. The window lock was still broken from yesterday. Shards of glass littered the ground.  _Why hasn't she cleaned this up yet?_

"Vegeta?" Bulma's voice sounded far away.

The window was slightly ajar, so he invited himself in. Bulma sat cross-legged on her bed, glowing in the moonlight flooding the room. She was reading a thick tome and hadn't bothered to look up. "It's okay. I'm not going to bite this time," she said.

Vegeta sat down beside her. She put the book to the side, but kept her head downcast. Her hair curtained around her face, obscuring it completely from Vegeta's gaze.

He couldn't remember the last time she was so silent. "I broke up with Kakarot."

She whipped her head around. "You did?" Without her makeup on, she looked like a lost teenager.

"Yes. I found out about that 'list' thing you helped him with."

She grasped onto the front of her nightshirt. "I hope you didn't come over here to yell at  _me_ , mister."

"I didn't."

That threw her off guard. "Oh. Well, if I wasn't so pissed off I'd call you stupid for breaking up with him." She raised her nose into the air. "But since I  _am_  pissed…good job. Goku sucks."

He suppressed the urge to rub his temples. Was she bluffing, or did she really not care about Goku anymore? "I'm not here to talk about that."

"Are you still living with him?"

 _She really doesn't know?_ He couldn't tell her about Goku's imprisonment just yet. He needed to weed out her true feelings from yesterday's debacle. He needed to prove whether 18 was right, or if the artificial human just had a flight of fancy. "I'm staying with Krillin and Android 18 for now."

Bulma stared blankly into space. "You can stay here if you want."

 _What the fuck?_ Yesterday she  _literally_  barred him from ever coming to Capsule Corp ever again. Why the change of tune? "I'm fine where I am. I want to ask you about yesterday."

"Vegeta, I don't want to talk about it, okay? Goku really hurt me."

"How?"

"How?  _How_? I told you how!" She clenched her fists open and close, which didn't go unnoticed by him. "He went after Yamcha, remember? So did you!"

Maybe that was the wrong question to ask. "Why were you okay with me coming over here as long as Kakarot didn't tag along?" The anger on her face was replaced with fear.  _So there_ is _something you're hiding from me, Bulma._

"Goku's an asshole. I don't want to see his stupid face ever again!"

"But you're fine with seeing me."

She sputtered. "That's different. You're—"

"I'm  _what_ , Bulma?"

Tears sprung in her eyes. "Why did you have to like it so much?!"

He leaned back. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't be stupid!" A blush crept over her cheeks. "I'm talking about what I heard over the phone. Why did you have to like the sex so much?"

"…Are you insane? It's  _sex_. You're  _supposed_ to enjoy it. Or have you forgotten?"

Bulma growled at him. He hadn't meant for that last comment to be a dig at her at all, but it was too late to take it back. "You're such a dick, Vegeta. You haven't thought once about how hearing something like that over the phone would make me feel."

Gods, why couldn't any of the women in his life be direct with him? Why was Bulma just talking in circles? "How did it make you feel, then?"

"UGH!" She threw her arms up in the air. "Fine.  _Fine_. It's because Goku makes you  _sooo_  happy when banging, okay?" She rolled back onto the bed and spilled her heart out to the ceiling. "You know when he was telling all of those baseball jokes? That was the most insane thing I'd ever heard in my life, but you were laughing your  _ass_ off. During sex. Vegeta, I've never heard you laugh that much period. And in the middle of it all you were moaning so hard, I could've just died on the spot."

He opened his mouth to interrupt, but she held up a finger. "You never acted that way around  _me_. And I knew I shouldn't have heard any of that, and I knew it was an accident, but it just hurt so goddamn much. I always thought of Goku as being my innocent friend, you know? I  _thought_  you two were super cute together. I really did, and I was happy for you both. I knew you had sex, but it never seemed  _real_. Until I got that phone call. With Yamcha involved, it just confirmed how much better he is at making people feel good. Now that I know he blows your mind…he seems like a totally different person to me now. And I  _don't_  like it."

Vegeta widened his eyes. "So you're jealous…of Kakarot."

"No! I mean, maybe a little. Ugh, I don't know." She flopped her arm over her eyes in defeat. "Do you remember that day I picked you and Goku up from jail, and we held hands on the car ride home?"

He nodded. "What about it? It didn't mean anything."

"It did to me, Vegeta." Her eyes shimmered in the moonlight. "I miss you."

He stared down at her. "Are you saying you're still attracted to me?"

She sat up again. "I'm not sure." She bit the side of her lip and grinned. Utterly hopeless.

He wasn't sure who kissed the other first. All he knew was that she was now tugging him down onto the bed with her. Her arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him flush against her body. Naturally, his hand roamed beneath her shirt to trace the curve of her spine, fingertips lingering to admire the soft skin there. With his other hand he squeezed her ass; she gasped against his chest.

All of this…was disturbingly familiar. He'd suffered through this same ritual before. For years he'd come into her room after an earlier argument. To rectify everything, they screwed senseless. That's how it always went down.

He cupped her face in his hands, and pulled her mouth off his. He stared into her cerulean eyes. "Bulma."

She ignored him. In one fluid motion, she left his grasp and pulled her nightshirt over her head.

"Bulma, what are we doing."

"We're about to have sex!"

Vegeta sighed and rolled onto his back. "No, we're not."

Huffing dramatically, she covered her bare chest with her shirt. "Are you serious? You're going to turn me down right now?"

"Yes. This has never solved anything for us."

She pulled a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. "That's never stopped you before."

"I don't  _want_ tobe like before."

Bulma tilted her head. The look she gave him was inexplicable. "Did someone take the real Vegeta and replace him with a phony?"

He grinned. "I don't want to be with you, Bulma." Without warning, he stood up and walked back toward the window. "I need some time to think. I'm going to respect my ban here for the next year. Trunks can visit me at Krillin's house."

"A year?" She hugged herself. "That's a long time."

"That's the point. I think some time away from each other will be good. For the both of us."

She exhaled, her chest slowly deflating until she relaxed into a heap on the bed. "I've never said this before, but I think you're right."

Vegeta scratched the back of his head. "I think it has something to do with Kakarot."

She laughed. "Oh God, you look just like him right now."

Vegeta pried the offensive fingers from his scalp, and blushed. He didn't have a retort.

Bulma closed her eyes. "I should start dating again."

The way she said it was so empty and hollow. But Vegeta genuinely hoped she took the throw-away remark to heart. "Good. I'll see you in a year." Once outside, he jumped onto the balcony's railing and sat on his haunches. "By the way, Kakarot is imprisoned in a foreign country for who knows how long. You may not see him for a while either." He blasted away into the night.

"WHAT?!" Bulma screamed.

* * *

Outside Krillin's house, Vegeta slowly unopened the patio door. Hopefully Krillin and 18 didn't hear him come in. He walked up the stairs, grateful they were carpeted.

When he walked past Goten's room, he sensed his son's ki behind the door.  _Trunks, you fool._ All of the energy he once held reserved against Goten and Trunk's relationship felt like a waste now, what with Goku gone. Goten needed all of the companionship he could get for the time being, and Vegeta wasn't going to be the one to deny him that pittance.

As soon as he stepped through his bedroom door, the scent assaulted him.  _Kakarot_. In the past he'd made fun of Goku for having such a keen sense of smell. Rarely did smell matter in battle. But to be hit with such a comforting reminder of Goku's presence almost brought Vegeta to tears. He sat down on his mattress, feeling the lingering warmth there.

 _He was just here. And I missed him._ Vegeta lay down and buried his face in the sheets. Had Goku done the same thing just minutes ago?

He wanted to apologize. He wanted to find Goku and cling to him, explain how wrong he'd been to ever let him go. He wished Goku had waited just a little bit longer for him. When they saw each other, then…

Then what? What would change? Vegeta would still be the same person as yesterday. Goku would be in his grasp again, a salve for his broken heart. But what more could he give him? More insults? More reasons for Goku to feel unsafe speaking about mating? Would Vegeta even make a good mate in the long run?  _It takes one year to become halfway-decent at something new._

He rummaged through his nightstand. His fingers grazed against the yellow slip of paper from yesterday. On Goku's list, he'd specified his plan for gaining the approval of their relationship from all of their friends. Such was necessary before consummating their union as mates. Vegeta couldn't lie to himself—it was a good plan. It demanded a lot of effort out of him. But if he pulled it off, it could work.

With a little noise as possible, he slid on his jacket and ran back downstairs. He slid the patio door open and jogged toward Marron's basement studio. Gently he rapped on the front door. After what felt like the longest few minutes in the world, the door opened. "Hey," she said, rubbing her eyes.

Vegeta glanced past her shoulder. "Were you asleep down there?"

"Nah." She yawned.

Vegeta looked down at his feet. "Will you teach me how to make art?"

Marron's sleepy eyes widened. She clutched her hands together in reverence. "I…would be  _honored_  to teach you! Oh my gosh!" She crushed him into a hug. "Uncle Vegeta, you've made me so happy!"

"I know."

She spun around in circles. "Oh my goodness. What kind of art do you want to make? No wait, you definitely should explore and see what you like the best. Do you think you'll like painting? Or sculpture? Oh my gosh, you could be a great illustrator! Or maybe charcoal could be your thing." She pulled him downstairs into the basement, still speaking a mile a minute. "We've got to get you figure drawing lessons, of course. You have to learn the basics. Maybe Mom can pose for you! Ooh, we can go out into the mountains and do life drawings there, too! I'm so excited, I can't believe you want  _me_ to be your teacher…Maybe we can convince Goten and Trunk to join us too..."

The whole trip down the stairs, Vegeta swallowed down his apprehension. The next year would be interesting.

* * *

Krillin stood in front of his open refrigerator. Every single last item was gone. Even the condiments. Even everything in the freezer. Even all of the ice cubes in the ice tray.

He lifted his fists into the air. "GOKUUU!"


	15. Part Fifteen

Marron promised to be a relentless teacher.

As soon as Vegeta woke up at 8AM the next day, Marron demanded four hours of his time. Basic color theory was the first topic at hand, and already they'd run into a roadblock.

"Uncle Vegeta," Marron groaned. "I don't know why you want to argue with me about something so simple." She pointed at the graphic representation of the color wheel pinned to her studio wall. "This," she emphasized, pointing at a red circle, "is the color red. And  _this_ ," she said, "is the color green. They're different from each other. Red is a primary color, while green is a complementary color made from mixing yellow and blue."

Vegeta didn't like the tone of her voice. "Yes, I  _know_  that. All I'm saying is that next to each other, red and green look very similar. It's normal to get them mixed up."

"But they're not similar at all! They're completely different colors!" She rubbed her cheeks. Her eyes widened. "What color is Uncle Goku's training gi?"

"It's green."

Marron blinked. "It…is?"

"Of course it is. Are you joking?"

"…Hm. Hold on a sec."

Vegeta crossed his arms and watched her scramble over to her huge wooden work table. It was difficult for him to stay respectful. He had few teachers in his youth, and as a prince, they had to work to please him. Not the other way around. Marron, on the other hand, had high expectations of him and made it apparent when she was disappointed.

She ran back over to Vegeta and shoved a sheet of paper into his lap. "I just colored this. What do you see?"

He squinted his eyes. "A green square with a blue circle inside of it."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, that's all I see!"

She stood back. "I think you're color blind." She pressed her finger onto the paper, then traced it around an invisible shape. "Right here, there's a reddish-brown triangle inside the green square too."

"I can see colors just fine."

She laughed. "I think you just have trouble with reds and greens. I'm not saying you can't see color at all."

"Hmph."

"It's okay!" She smiled. "There's nothing wrong with being color blind."

He covered his eyes. "You're saying I'm deficient."

"No! Not at all." She sighed. "You shouldn't think of it that way. You're just different."

He didn't want to be different. Not in that way.

* * *

An hour later, Marron insisted they both travel to the mountain trail several miles north of the suburbs. "I think you learn best from observation," she insisted. "When I was a kid, I hated all of the art classes where we never actually went outside."

"You're still a kid to me," Vegeta said. They were walking back inside Krillin's house. "What's the huge bag for?"

"It's full of art supplies, silly." Marron jumped once in the air to readjust the weight of the bag slung over her shoulder. "Got to make sure we have everything we need!"

He glanced over at her. She looked exhausted and excited at the same time. The girl got little sleep because of her late-night work schedule. "Don't you have school today?" he asked.

"Not anymore. It's the summer!" She twirled around in a circle, and almost fell over. "No school until the fall."

Vegeta nodded. By this time next year, it would be summer again and Trunks would be done with high school completely. "What grade are you in?"

"I'll be a junior next semester. But if I'm lucky, I can graduate early. I'm ready to go to college already." She paused. "Wait here. I'm going to check if Goten's upstairs. Maybe he'll come with us!"

 _Good luck with that._ Goku's son had the worst time waking up in the morning. A few minutes later, she came back downstairs with Trunks in tow. "Look who I found awake instead!"

"I don't  _want_  to go anywhere!" Trunks mumbled.

"It'll be fun. You should support your father's endeavors!"

Trunks rolled his eyes. "You're such a nerd."

"Be nice," Vegeta said evenly. "Besides, Goten will still be here when you get back." Trunks blushed at that, and shut his mouth.

"Guys.  _Guys_. This is going to be so much fun!" Marron jumped in the air again. "Let's go outside and catch the bus to the mountain trail!"

"Bus? We can just fly there," Trunks said.

" _I_ don't know how to fly."

Vegeta couldn't stand the crestfallen look on Marron's face. "We're taking the bus," he announced.

"But Dad, I could just carry her—"

"Did you hear me? Just shut-up and listen to Marron. She knows what she's doing."

Marron absolutely  _glowed_  at hearing that. "Come on, let's go!"

A block away from Krillin's house, they crowded around the bus stop bench. Vegeta's patience wore thin once twenty minutes passed and there was still no bus in sight. In Vegeta's opinion, such rudimentary public transit was the mark of a stunted civilization. Earth fit the bill perfectly. If creatures struggled to traverse their own planet, then they'd little hope for intergalactic travel. If it weren't for Goku and his friends' encouragement, he wasn't sure he'd be impressed with Earth much.

 _I wonder what Kakarot is doing right now._  How horrible was the prison he was sent to? Where was it? Vegeta wasn't quite ready to confront him again, but he had to know if the third-class was at least holding up. Goku always managed to hold on to his cheerfulness even in dire situations. Vegeta just wanted to see his stupid grin again—

"Uncle Vegeta, why are you smiling? What're you thinking about?"

"Nothing at all!" To his relief, the bus finally pulled up to the street curb. The sliding doors opened.

Vegeta stepped inside, and immediately feel nervous. The bus was crowded with people, and the bus driver stared down at him with disdain. The driver poked his chubby finger at the payment machine next to his seat. "It's a dollar fifty."

Vegeta dug into his jean pockets, and pulled out a twenty dollar bill.

"Whoa. WHOA." The driver held up his hand. "You need exact change, or you're  _not_  riding on  _my_ bus!"

Vegeta leaned back to avoid the spittle flying out the driver's mouth. Unsure how to react, he looked over his shoulder at Marron.

"It's fine, I can pay for it." She inserted exact change into the machine, then ushered them all toward the middle of the bus. The driver jerked hard on the accelerator and nearly sent them all flying to the ground.

 _This is fucking awful,_ Vegeta thought. Marron and Trunks took the two free seats on the bus beside each other while he stood hanging on to the nearest metal pole. All of the passengers stared at him with bewildered looks on their faces.  _Am I that weird looking?_

"Hey," whispered a kid sitting near Vegeta. "I'll give you two bucks if you throw my soda bottle at the bus driver."

Vegeta looked down at him, astonished. The kid handed him a half-empty bottle of root beer.

Marron made a face that made Vegeta feel apprehensive. But Trunks was grinning his ass off. Vegeta turned and chucked the bottle at the back of the driver's head. It hit harder than he intended—a large bump swelled on the back of the man's skull.

"OW!  **HEY!** " The driver screamed. His foot slammed down on the break, and the bus skidded to a stop. Everyone save for Vegeta tumbled over in their seats or into the aisle. The bus driver half-stood in his chair and scanned the back of the bus. "Who the  _fuck_  did that?!"

No one said a peep.

"I swear to God," he mumbled, readjusting himself in his seat. "I'll turn this damn bus around and end your  _precious_  trip pretty  **DAMN**  quick if you do that again!"

The kid next to Vegeta cackled. "Holy shit dude, you nearly killed him. That was awesome!" He waved two dollar bills in Vegeta's face.

"Keep your money," Vegeta replied. He smiled the whole rest of the ride.

* * *

The hike up the mountain was easy for Vegeta and Trunks. Marron huffed and sighed while they walked the dirt trail, until Vegeta insisted on carrying her the rest of the way. "I'm fine!" she laughed. "But could you carry the bag for me?"

"Sure. Trunks, carry her bag."

Trunks opened his mouth, then closed it. He took Marron's bag without as much as a derisive scoff.  _He's learning_ , Vegeta thought contently.

They stopped once they reached the summit. It was a beautiful view: Vegeta could see the entire city flanked by a circular mountain range. Towering at the summit sat a giant sequoia whose leaves offered a small area of shade around its huge base. "Isn't this tree cool?" Marron said. She snagged her art bag from Trunks, and unpacked all of its contents.

Vegeta ran his hand along the bark of the tree. "What do you want to do all the way up here?" he asked.

"We're going to draw." She approached him, and dropped a pile of materials in his open arms. "I'm giving you a sketchbook, some pencils, and some conté. Follow me."

She led them deep into the forest beyond the mountain trail. Vegeta never silently observed the natural world on Earth, and it wasn't until now it intrigued him. The forest bustled with a strange, mystical energy that engulfed him. Sunlight struggled to penetrate the branches of the towering trees around them. Skittering lizards circled his feet; he obeyed the strange urge to avoid stepping on them. The hair on the back of his neck rose as he felt himself being watched by animals hiding in the trees. He wondered what Goku would think of him in a place like this.

"This is a good spot." Marron sat down on a giant rock. Vegeta and Trunks sat down next to her.

She pointed forward. "See the light coming through the trees, Uncle Vegeta?"

He nodded.

"Do you see how it affects the things it touches? And how it changes based on what blocks it?" She pointed downward. "When it hits that tiny creek there, it creates abstract shapes on the water. When it comes through the tree branches, it appears as shafts of light that gently fade the closer they approach the ground. And when it goes through Trunks' hair, it glows around the edges and makes his hair strands look translucent."

Trunks blushed, then touched the ends of his hair.

"So you want me to draw the light," Vegeta said.

"Yes, and everything else."

Vegeta opened his sketchbook and drew. It was difficult to determine exactly where to begin. Everything in the forest tumbled around and inside of itself. The organic shapes of nature were difficult to copy down onto a page.

Marron leaned over his shoulder to inspect his work. "Hey!" he shouted, shying away from her. "I'm not done yet."

"I'm your teacher, so I have to teach. Give me your pencil!"

He handed it to her. He didn't expect her to hold it into the air at arm's length. "What're you doing?" he asked.

"This is how you can quickly figure out the proportion of objects in an environment. Look at my hand." She slid her thumb down the side of the pencil. "Let's say that bush over there, from our point of view, is as tall as the top of the pencil to where my thumb is." She slid her arm to the right. "And that tree next to the bush is about…six times as tall as the bush." Slowly she raised the pencil up in the air in six increments. "Knowing that, you can draw the tree six times as tall as the bush in your sketchbook. It's a handy way to make sure everything's proportionate to each other in a drawing."

Vegeta's eyes widened. He didn't have anything to say in response. Not in a million years would he have figured out such a thing on his own. Or so he assumed. "Thanks," he mumbled, taking back his pencil.

Over the course of the next hour, all three of them drew. The natural sounds of the world around them placed Vegeta into a trance state where all the distracting thoughts in his mind quieted down. It was the closest he'd ever been to meditating.

"Dad…Can I ask you a weird question?"

Vegeta almost broke his pencil in half. "What is it?"

"It's about sex."

 _This is going to be bad_. "What do you need to know?"

"I haven't mentioned it, but it's obvious Goten and I have a thing going on."

"A  _thing_ ," Vegeta repeated.  _There goes my meditation._

"Are you a couple now?" Marron squeaked. Out of the corner of his eye, Vegeta noticed she looked flustered.

"It's a  _thing_ , okay?!"

"Fine. It's a 'thing'. What's your question?" Vegeta said through gritted teeth.

"Um…" Trunks tapped his knee and looked in the opposite direction as everyone else. "What's the best way to get it…inside?"

Marron fell off her rock. Vegeta felt a dull pain rise in between his eyes. "Why would you ask  _me_?!"

"You know, because you and Goku have sex!"

"No, I  _don't_ have sex with Kakarot anymore. And couldn't you just look up something like that on the internet!"

"Come on Dad, cut the bullshit. I know if I ask you, you'll give me a real answer."

Vegeta sighed. "Fine." He ignored Marron's wide-eyed stare at the both of them. "If you're going to have sex with a man, he has to be prepared first."

Marron dropped her pencil and gazed at him intently. He was embarrassed to basically explain in front of two teenagers how he used to fuck Goku, but it was the first time in a while Trunks showed interest in anything he had to say. It was a rare opportunity to teach him about something other than fighting. At least Trunks wasn't asking how Goten could penetrate  _him_.

"Prepare him how?" Trunks asked.

"First." Vegeta grimaced. "He should be relaxed, and preferably aroused. So before having sex…you two should…there should be—"

"Foreplay."

"Yes. And since it's his first time, you should…"  _Oh gods, am I actually going to give my teenage son step-by-step directions on how to screw Kakarot's boy?_ "Make sure he's stretched out first."

Trunks raised a brow. "You mean…?" He raised his palm in the air, hoping Vegeta would fill in the blanks.

"You put a few fingers inside of him. But make sure they're wet with lubricant first. You can do it one finger at a time, then scissor him until he's…happy with it."

"Wow, then what?!" Marron squealed.

"This doesn't even apply to you!" Trunks yelled.

"I know, but it's  _fascinating_." She'd abandoned drawing anything at this point.

Vegeta rubbed his face. Maybe it'd be easier to explain things in as dry of a way possible so they didn't get the wrong idea about him. "Make sure  _you're_  wet too. Then you can slowly push in. It'll be painful for him, but as long as you go slowly at first, it should be fine." Vegeta was sure his whole face was red now. "Since you're both inexperienced, it might be easier to just fool around before jumping straight to intercourse."

Trunks twirled his pencil around in his hand. "Does it matter whether or not Goten eats before we do it?"

" _What_!"

"Come on Dad, I'm sure with Goku it was an issue at some point!"

Vegeta chucked his sketchbook at Trunks' head. "That's none of your business!"

"Ow!" Trunks rubbed the sore spot. "It's just a question!"

Marron's eyes were still wide with wonder. "Oh my goodness. Wow. Does Uncle Goku really like it when you do all that stuff to him?"

Vegeta hid his face again. "You children will be the death of me."

"It must feel good for Goku, right?" Trunks said. The boy was getting  _way_  too excited by the idea of testing out this new information.

"Of course it feels good, why else would he do it!" Vegeta yelled.

"Wow," Marron repeated. She squished her face in between her palms in shyness. "I never thought something like that would feel good."

"How often did you two do it?" Trunks asked.

"That's none of your concern!"

"Oh." Trunks smirked. "So not often. That makes sense. You two  _are_  old."

"How dare you!" Vegeta squeezed his pencil. This time it really did break in half. "We had sex daily, sometimes two or three times if I could help it!"

Marron gasped. "Wow!"

Trunks scowled. "Okay, I'm done asking questions. Thank you, Father."

Vegeta pick up his art supplies, and returned to his drawing. They remained silent for another hour.

"It's time to head back," Marron announced. She held open her hand. "Trunks, show me your drawing first."

He handed her his sketchbook, shrugging. "I'm not that interested in drawing, Marron. Sorry."

Marron groaned. "This is a drawing of a naked woman!" She shoved the sketchbook back into his lap. "Uncle Vegeta, show me yours."

Vegeta hesitated, then passed his work over to her. She stared down at it. Her soft face transformed into a horrible grimace. Blue eyes darted left and right over his work.  _Is she upset with me?_

"Uncle…"

"Yes?"

"When you asked me to teach you art, were you playing a trick on me?"

"What?!"

"Let me see!" Trunks said, laughing. He stood behind Marron and looked down at Vegeta's work. His facial expression mimicked hers. Simultaneously, they tore their eyes up from the drawing to stare at Vegeta.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "What's the matter with it?"

Marron gently set the sketchbook on the ground. "I can't believe it. It's perfect. Literally—it looks like a computer drew it. Look!" She pointed at the drawing in accusation. "What the hell! Everything is rendered perfectly, the light is depicted perfectly, the shading is perfect…how did you even make  _this_  texture over  _here_ with a 3B pencil?!"

Vegeta slumped his shoulders in relief. "I thought for a moment I did something wrong!"

"This is insane." Marron shook her head. "You've never drawn anything before?"

"Not in my life."

"I don't believe you!"

Vegeta raised his brows. He'd never seen Marron this excited before. Granted, he hadn't known her a long time, but this side of her was a bit scary.

She stood up. "We're leaving right this moment. I'm taking you back to my studio. I need to confirm something." With haste, she packed her art bag. "Let's go!"

* * *

Back in Marron's studio, Vegeta sat in front of a large block of red clay. Nervous, he wiped his brow. Marron stood beside him with her arms crossed.

"Sculpt Trunks," she said.

"Excuse me?"

"Him." She pointed at Trunks, who stood a few feet away with his hands on his hips. "Make this block of clay look like Trunks. It can just be from the shoulder up, like a bust."

"I don't know how."

She dragged a small table on wheels next to Vegeta. A spread of sculpting knives, metal wire, and sponges lay on the top. "Use these."

"Marron, I have no idea what these tools are for. Won't you show me?"

"The wire is for cutting the clay in slices. The sponge and water is for wetting it so it doesn't get dry. The knife is for cutting too. There's also more clay if you need it. Go."

"No need to be rude about it," Vegeta said under his breath. His hands hovered over the tools.  _Yes…_ Inside his mind, once he really thought about it, it made perfect sense how each tool worked. He inspected the clay. He gently pressed his fingertips against it. It gave way to his touch, so it probably didn't need much handling on his end. It'd probably take a long time for it to dry out…

With precision he didn't know he possessed, he shaped the clay in his hands. Periodically he'd pick up more clay from the second heap on the table, roll it between his hands, and add it to the rectangle block in front of him. Even though Marron's hawk-like gaze stuck to him the whole time, he once again found that meditative state where nothing bothered him.

"Oh my God," Marron yelled.

The trance broke. He looked up at her. "I'm almost done. What's the problem?"

"Whoa," Trunks said, walking around Vegeta's sculpture. "It looks—"

"Just like you," Marron cut in. "I know. Christ on a cracker!"

Vegeta looked at his work. "It's fine, I guess."

"You  _guess_?" Marron tugged on the ends of her hair. "I'm getting my acrylic paint out."

Ten minutes later, Marron finished squirting an array of paints on a wooden palette. Afterward, she rummaged through a heap of junk and found a portrait-sized canvas for Vegeta to use. "Trunks, get that easel over there and put it in front of Uncle," she ordered.

All of this attention made him uncomfortable. He just couldn't get a read on whether or not Marron was pissed off at him, or if he was doing something right. The squeak of the easel dragging across the floor grated on his nerves. Once Trunks placed it in front of him, he put the canvas in place.

"Okay!" Marron dashed five feet away. "Paint me!"

"I don't know  _how._ "

"You do. Just feel it out, like you did with the clay. Earlier I taught you everything about mixing colors, so it should be a breeze."

"I'm not going to finish a whole painting as fast as the sculpture."

"That's fine."

Vegeta sighed. He picked up one of the brushes on the easel. It was fat on the end.  _I bet this would make it easy to set a neutral base._

Out of everything that happened, Trunks' investment in his art-making surprised him the most. The boy sat behind him for three hours straight without saying a word.  _If only he studied my fighting as closely._

Over time Vegeta experimented on the canvas with different brushes, sometimes even using the sponge available to play with texture. The familiar trance from before took hold of him. It faded away once he was satisfied with the painting. "I think I'm done."

Marron exhaled. She'd been standing still the whole time. She walked over to the painting. She screamed.

Vegeta clutched his ringing ears. "Marron, don't  _do_  that!"

She screamed again. Her hands rose to cover her face. "Uncle Vegeta," she said, breathless. "You're…a prodigy."

Vegeta scoffed. "I appreciate your kindness, but I don't like being made fun of."

Trunks came up behind him. "I think she's right, Dad. This is insane. Is there a reason her skin looks so weird?"

Vegeta blushed. "What's weird about it?!"

Marron spread her fingers apart. She looked ominous peering between them, her eyes narrow and mouth bent into a scowl. "Your dad can't distinguish reds and greens very well. So when painting the skin tone, he probably mixed up the red paint for the green paint."

The way she said it—it made Vegeta blush again. It was as if she told him a long-held secret.

"This painting…It's…" She clenched her hands together and pulled them beside her waist. "It's beautiful." Her bottom lip quivered. She cried.

* * *

Prison wasn't so bad once everyone liked you.

When Goku brought back a bounty of food after his visit to Krillin's house, everyone cheered for him. For many of the prisoners it'd been years since their lips touched anything as delectable as smoked turkey, fresh bread, beef stew, and wine.  _Boy, did they love the wine_ , Goku thought. They had to heat up everything using the pitiful furnace beneath ground. Goku helped speed along the process using his energy, but he did it discreetly as not to show off.

The following day, they were still celebrating even though most of the food was gone. "Cheers to Son Goku!" cried one man leaning off the side of his hammock. He fell over to the floor, drunk.

"You are a beautiful person!" said a stocky man with his face covered in soot. He grabbed both sides of Goku's face, and kissed him full on the lips.

"Oh, wow!" Goku said, blushing. "It's not that big of a deal. Really."

"Would you be able to do this again?" asked the man stoking the furnace.

"Um, I probably can't go back to the last place I visited." He smiled. "But I can go hunting if you like dinosaur meat."

"Is there anything you wish of us?" It was the prisoner with the thick accent Goku first spoke to after his incarceration. Goku later found out his name was Boris. "I know we can't do much down here. But if you have a special request, perhaps we can help you."

"Hmm." Goku rubbed his chin. No one there could make Vegeta love him again, so that was out of the question. He was still unsure if the man even wanted to see him. But maybe…"There  _is_  somebody I'd love to call over the phone. But I don't want them to know where the call is coming from." He lamented having his cell phone taken away shortly after his arrest. Not that he could charge it or get service in a dirty tunnel beneath the ground. Or call Vegeta without the Prince recognizing his number and hanging up.

The men murmured. Boris snapped his fingers. "There is a small village a few hundred miles north of here. If you can get there, visit the shack near the graveyard. A woman named Anya will let you use her phone if you tell her Boris sent you."

"Perfect!" Goku spun around and jogged toward the sealed door to the outside world.

"Wait!" Boris cried. "You're going  _now_?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Boris ran up to him carrying one of Krillin's loaves of bread and a rolled up package of beef. "Take this to her. And say Boris still thinks of her daily."

Goku's stupid grin faded from his face. "Okay. I promise."

* * *

"Mom! Mom!  _Moooom_!" Marron dragged Vegeta across the backyard and through the patio door. "Mom, I have to show you something!"

Android 18 sat on the living room couch painting her nails. The TV was turned up loud. Awkward, she balanced the remote between her fingers and turned down the volume. "What's gotten into you? Why are you screaming?"

Marron pulled Vegeta into the living room, and presented him before her like he was…

_Like I'm royalty._

"I present to you the next artist sensation!" She fell into a bow.

18 looked back and forth between her daughter and Vegeta. "Um, what?"

"Uncle Vegeta is a master artist. All this morning I watched him draw, paint, and sculpt in ways I've never seen before!" She jumped up and down, completely giddy. "I'm so excited! This is so cool!"

Trunks slowly crept back up the stairs past the commotion in the living room.  _You little prick, you're just going to leave me here all alone!_

"Is it true, Vegeta? I had no idea you were an artist," 18 said.

"I'm not. I mean, I've never tried doing it until today. Marron just thinks I'm talented."

Marron pulled the canvas bearing her likeness in front of her. "Behold!"

18 yelled. "Damn, Vegeta! You did this?!"

"Yes."

"Wow." She smirked. "Look at that. I didn't think you had it in you."

Vegeta scratched the back of his head. While they ranted and raved about his painting, he was more amazed by his new mental discovery from earlier. Doing artwork lifted him away to a separate plane where all of the horrible thoughts bouncing around his head finally silenced themselves. Sure, thoughts of Goku still lingered, but his ex-lover's presence filled him with comfort instead of loneliness. It was a divine feeling.

"So does this mean you're going to have a show in a gallery?" 18 asked.

"Let's not get carried away," Vegeta laughed. "It's just one painting."

"You can make more!" Stars sparkled in Marron's eyes. "You could do anything you wanted, and it would be amazing. I'm so proud of you, Uncle Vegeta!"

The room felt stuffy. He wasn't used to having praise piled onto him by people who actually meant it. It felt good and uncomfortable at the same time, like he didn't deserve it. Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket. "Hm," he mumbled, wondering who it could possibly be. 18 and Marron continued to talk animatedly with one another as he inspected the phone number. It read 'Unknown'.

He answered. "Yes?"

Whoever was on the other end of the line wasn't prepared for him to actually pick up. The stranger gasped and sputtered instead of vocalizing any words.

"Who is this?" Vegeta hoped it wasn't a prank caller. Or a goddamn telemarketer.

"Hi…Vegeta."

The color drained from his face. "Kakarot?"

"Yeah." Over the phone Goku tittered nervously. "It's me."

Immediately, 18 and Marron stopped talking and stared at Vegeta.

"Oh." Vegeta wasn't sure what to say, or think. The phone call had ambushed him, and he wasn't the least bit prepared. A loud thundering noise came through over the receiver, like Goku was standing in the middle of a blizzard.

"So…How're ya?" Goku asked.

"I'm…" Vegeta closed his eyes. "What do you mean? Where are you! Where are you calling from! Are you safe?"

Goku laughed over the line. Hearing the familiar noise filled Vegeta's chest with warmth. "I'm fine. Just a bit cold here. Brr!"

Vegeta laughed, then covered his mouth. 18 was wiggling her eyebrows at him suggestively. If he stayed in the living room, he was asking for embarrassment. "Hold on, I'm going to a different room—"

"Oh, no you're not. You're staying here. Your nails look awful." 18 pulled Vegeta down onto the couch next to her. She pulled out a nail file and attended to his hand.

 _You're vile, 18!_ On the opposite side of him, Marron sat with her chin cupped in her hand and an inquisitive look on her face.  _I guess this'll be a public performance._

"Is that 18? You're over Krillin's house?"

"You should know. You stopped by the other day."

"Yeah. I did." Goku sighed. "I'm sorry. I missed you."

"Why didn't you come back, Kakarot?"

"What? I thought you didn't want me to. You broke up with me, remem—"

"I'm sorry," Vegeta breathed out all at once. "I'm so sorry I said all those things to you."

"Vegeta!" Goku yelled. "You weren't very nice!"

18 disguised her laugh as a cough.  _Yes woman, get your laughs in. This is how Kakarot and my relationship works._ Vegeta rolled his neck until it popped. "I know. I got carried away."

"Okay…I forgive you! Can I come back now?" Goku said all chipper.

"What? No. I mean, you can if you want. Listen," Vegeta said, sinking back into the couch. "This is a problem. Why are you forgiving me so easily?"

"Because I'm still in love with you."

Did Goku say these things because his heart was so big? Or because he believed he had no other option than to accept Vegeta for the way he was? Probably both. "You're sweet, Kakarot. But that's not enough. I need to take some time away from you to figure some things out about myself. As much as I enjoyed it, I don't think our relationship was…ideal."

"I—" Goku stopped himself. "Okay. Whatever you say, Vegeta."

"Don't sound so sad."

"Based on what you said, I have a  _lot_  to be sad about."

Vegeta sighed. 18 was busy filing down the nails on his hand, but he knew she was hanging on to his every word. He blushed. "I still want to be with you. If you'll have me."

"Really? Yes!" He heard Goku step away from the phone to whoop.

"Calm down! I'm not talking about now, but later down the road."

"Oh." Goku sounded like someone told him Christmas was canceled. "How far down the road are we talking?

"I need a year."

"I can't see you for a whole year?" Goku whined.

Vegeta bit his lip. "Maybe we can talk on the phone once in a while—"

"No. You two should talk tonight. In person," 18 said. She picked up a jar of clear nail polish, and unscrewed the top. "You can't go off and do something important, but leave him in the dark the whole time."

"I agree with 18. I should come over now!"

Vegeta groaned. "Fine.  _Tonight_ , Kakarot. Unlike you, I have something I need to do before the day is over."

"Whatever floats your boat, sweetie."

Marron and 18 giggled. "Kakarot, why do you have to speak so loudly? You're embarrassing me."

"Sorry," Goku said. He lowered his voice. "Hey. Before you go…do you want to have phone sex?"

"You shameless flirt! Get off the phone!"

"Okay, okay. I'll come to your room later tonight. See you soon. Mwah!" Goku blew him a kiss.

Vegeta hung up, only to be met with a round of laughter. "Haha, you two are so cute!" 18 pinched Vegeta's cheek. "I had no idea."

He pulled away from her and rubbed his face. The sparkling shine on his nails distracted him for a moment, and he admired them. "I wasn't ready to see him so soon."

"What's up your sleeve?" 18 took Vegeta's hands and blew on his wet fingernails. He flinched away, but she held her smile. "Why do you need a whole year?"

He stared into his lap. Could he really tell them? "I read once—I mean, a wise person once told me it takes more than liking something to be good at it. And another…wise person told me it takes one year to become halfway-decent at something new." He waited for them to react negatively, but it never came. "I made a decision last night after thinking about those words more. Please don't tell him this, but I intend on asking Kakarot to be my mate."

"Aaah!" 18 yelled, raising her fists in the air. It was a strange reaction, but Vegeta soon realized she did it out of joy. "That's awesome!"

"What do you mean by 'mate'?" Marron asked.

Vegeta opened his mouth to speak, but 18 interrupted him. "It's basically the same as marriage, but for Saiyans. Oh, and one of them is inherently weaker than the other." She clicked her teeth and winked at Vegeta.

A few days ago he would've been enraged by her comment. But for some reason, he thought it was…kind of funny. "Sure. You can think of it that way."

"Wow, Uncle Vegeta's going to get married?" Marron smiled and gazed up at some imaginary thing floating at the ceiling that must've been her fantasy of such an event. "That's so romantic."

"Gods, no one's  _actually_ getting married." He folded his arms. "Anyway, I don't think I know how to be a good mate. So I decided a year should be adequate for me to become halfway-decent at it. I can't sort things out with him around. He doesn't think anything's wrong with our relationship at all."

"So I  _did_  get through to you yesterday," 18 said, puffing her chest out.

He smirked. "Part of the mating ritual also requires that the family of the couple approves of their union."

"Go on."

"If you haven't noticed, Kakarot has a large family. And they find me to be—"

"Barely tolerable," 18 said, filling in the blanks.

Vegeta pouted. "Yes."

"Prince Vegeta on the path to self-improvement? And trying to get in good with his future in-laws?" 18 laughed. "Not bad."

"Did you asking me to teach you art have anything to do with this?" Marron asked, still dreamy-eyed.

"Yes." Vegeta looked away. "Kakarot wants me to be an artist." Marron looked like she was about to burst, so he hurried up and finished his statement. "I want it to be a surprise, so don't go telling him about it."

Marron screamed again. "That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!"

The Prince wiggled his finger in his ear in hopes his hearing would return. "Thank you?"

"Lucky you, you've already mastered that skill!" Marron said gleefully.

"No." Vegeta frowned. As an artist, Marron should've known better than to say something like that. "I want to be happy with the things I make. I didn't care much for what I did today. They were all things  _you_  wanted me to do, remember?"

"Oh…Sorry. I was just so overwhelmed by how good you were."

"It's fine. I have a whole year." He winced. "I don't want to draw like a  _computer,_  Marron. Can you teach me how?"

She laughed. "I guess so!"

Abrupt, Vegeta stood up from the couch. "It's been nice talking, but I must run an errand before Kakarot arrives. I have some pornography I need to buy."

"What the hell?" 18 said as Vegeta walked out the front door.

* * *

Master Roshi took off his sunglasses—which he rarely did—to take a good, hard look at Vegeta. "You're giving me a  _what_?"

"This is a DVD player," Vegeta said slowly. Explaining technology to this old man was like talking to a dinosaur. "And  _these_ ," he said, rattling a black bag stuffed with plastic cases, "are DVDs. All of them are pornos."

Roshi pinched his nostrils shut. "You mean…movies?"

"Yes. They're whole movies. Of only people fucking. They're not great quality, but they're better than whatever dinosaur tapes from the 1980s you probably have buried in your closet." Vegeta peeped down into the bag. "Most of them are of women fucking each other because you seem to be into that kind of thing."

Roshi fell to his knees. "You're a god among men!"

"And don't you forget it."

* * *

Goku rubbed his freezing limbs in front of the fireplace. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here a bit longer, Anya!"

The older woman opposite him smiled. Going by her long, silver tresses, Anya was very old. But her smooth, mahogany colored skin contradicted that notion. Her tiny body was buried inside of a layers-thick parka with fluffy white fur around the hood. Slowly, she rocked back and forth in her chair. "It's perfectly fine," she said. "Feel free to stay as long as you need."

"It was really nice of you to let a stranger use your phone," Goku said.

"If Boris trusts you, then so should I." She wrapped her wiry fingers around each other. "How is he, by the way?"

"Uh…" Goku couldn't exactly tell her the truth. She knew her husband was in a prison, right? "He seems…fine."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that so?" She leaned closer to the fire. "He's been there for over thirty years now."

"Wow." Goku stared into the fireplace. "Have you been waiting for him this whole time?"

"Absolutely."

He watched the flames dance and curl in the fireplace. "I'm not sure you knew this, but it's an impossible sentence for him to serve."

"I'm aware."

"And you'll still wait for him, even though he's never coming back?"

"I have faith." She grinned. " _You_  managed to get out, didn't you?"

He laughed. "I guess you're right."

"Goku. Do you have someone waiting for you somewhere?"

"More like  _I'm_ waiting on him. If you can believe it."

She gave him a strange look after he said 'him', but he ignored it. "That's pretty unusual," she said. "Do you trust, um, this man?"

"I think so. He said he won't be ready to be with me again until after a year." He smiled, wistful. "I have all the time in the world to sit around and do nothing but worry about him."

Anya burst out laughing. "Is that what you think I did for thirty years? Just sat in this shed and worried about my husband? I used to be the chieftain of this village, before all the young people left."

"Really?"

"Yes. There was a time when a lot of people needed me, even though Boris wasn't around. Sometimes a river splits in half and diverges for hundreds of miles. But they must keep flowing to ever meet again."

"I think my guy's river is dried up. And on fire."

"Haha!" She bounced up and down inside her fluffy parka. "It's good to have someone that keeps you on your toes."

Goku stood up. "Anya. Do you want to see Boris again?"

"Of course I do."

"Okay. I'll be back with him in about ten minutes."

Anya grasped the arms of her chair. "What did you say?!"

"Bye!" He held his fingers to his forehead, then disappeared.

He reappeared back near the hammocks underground. The men jumped back in fright.

"Sorry to scare everyone." He folded his arms. "This place sucks, right? Don't you all want to leave?"

Although Goku was admired by the prisoners, his chipper demeanor in the face of what'd been hell for them was a slight against them all. "Yes, we would love to leave!" yelled a man eating the last remaining bit of beans out of a can.

"Okay. At first I thought I should dig the rest of the way through, since that's what my punishment is supposed to be. But Anya put in a special request, so why waste everyone's time?" He ran down the tunnel away from their sleeping quarters. "Everyone take cover!"

Behind him he heard loud murmuring and even a few shouts.  _I hope I don't send the whole place crumbling down. Then the next time Vegeta sees me, I'll be in a body bag._ Once he reached the farthest part of the tunnel, he skidded to a stop. He spread his legs open, then pulled himself into the familiar stance. "Ka…me….ha…me…HA!"

The wave blew through the dirt and rubble, flying miles forward underground.  _Eek, I hope I didn't overshoot that!_ The earth shook until the energy wave was well beyond his sight.

He turned around. "Hey guys, I did it!"

All of the prisoners ran forward, holding their arms over their mouths and coughing from all the dust in the air. Boris grabbed onto Goku's shoulder. "What did you do, boy?"

"I finished digging the tunnel."

Boris' eyes bugged out of his head. "What? How?!"

"Umm…I'm a martial artist…" Goku was never sure how to explain this kind of thing to humans who knew nothing about him.

But Boris' glassy eyes lit with recognition. "You—I thought I'd seen you before. You've been in many tournaments. And defeated the evil King Piccolo!"

"Wow, you remember that?"

The old man tightened his grip on Goku's shoulder. "Can you take me to Anya? I must speak with her immediately!"

"Sure!" He looked around the tunnel at the rest of the prisoners, who looked completely dumbfounded as what to do next. "Congratulations on finishing your sentences, guys!" He disappeared.

Moments later, he reappeared in the middle of Anya's shack. The old woman nearly tumbled over in her rocking chair in fright. "Goku! A little warning next time!"

"Sorry!" He scratched the back of his head.

Boris' eyes wandered around the tiny room. Finally, he laid eyes on Anya. "Is it really…you?" he asked.

Anya ran across the room, crying. She wrapped her arms Boris' waist. "You're here! You're here, and you're alive. I can't believe it…"

He buried his face in her hair. "I've missed you so much."

"Aww," Goku said.

Boris kissed the top of his wife's head. "Anya…is it still here?"

She looked up at him, smiling. "Yes. Of course. Under the floorboards."

 _Huh? What're they talking about?_ Goku watched Boris crack his dirty knuckles. In an amazing display of strength, he ripped up half the floor with his bare hands. "Whoa!" Goku yelled.

There were guns. Lots and lots of guns. Big guns, small guns, and enormous machine guns. Anya's shed hid a huge basement stockpile of artillery that rivaled a small army's.

"Uh…What's with all the weapons?" Goku asked.  _Maybe I should've thought twice before freeing everyone…_

"Ha. Haha." Boris ripped off his parka. Beneath the clothes was an old man with rippling pectorals and arms strong enough to rip a normal human in two. "Why do you think I went to prison, Goku?"

"I never thought about it until now!"

Boris chuckled. "I was a political prisoner. Punished for staging a failed coup. If you haven't noticed, the government in this region is very corrupt."

"I  _did_  think it was strange to go to prison for destroying one painting…"

" _That's_  what you're being punished for?" Boris stretched his arms. "Then you'll join us in destroying them?"

Goku waved his hands. "No way, I don't want to kill anyone! It's not that big of a deal for me. I'm just happy you didn't spend the rest of your life in that hole."

"Goku. You have incredible power. But if you don't want to fight, perhaps you can help us with raiding the capitol city. You dug a tunnel straight there. If we take that path, it will be easy to ambush them."

"I don't know. I'd feel weird getting involved in something like that."

"Goku," Anya said, placing a frail hand on his arm. "If we promise not to kill… _too_  many people—"

"No. You shouldn't kill anyone!"

She closed her eyes. "Fine. If we just hurt  _some_  people, will you help us?"

"Well…"

"I promise, Goku," Boris said, "if you help, we'll give you anything you want once we succeed."

"I don't need anything from you guys."

"What about your friend? The one you told me about?" Anya asked. "We could do something for him."

Goku blushed. "I don't know what you could possibly do to help  _that_ guy out."

"We'll think of something. Don't worry!" Anya cackled. Her sweet, old lady demeanor was gone. "First thing's first—we need to tell the men still in the tunnel about the plan. After that, we need you to lead them the thousand miles into the city."

"Gosh, you two aren't kidding around." Goku crossed his arms. "But I have an appointment with someone right now. Can I come back later?"

Boris nodded. "Yes. But you must come back before tomorrow afternoon. That's when the guards return to the prison to give out rations. The men must be long gone before then."

"Gotcha." Goku grinned, then disappeared.

* * *

_Why isn't he here yet?_  An hour past sunset, Goku still hadn't arrived in Vegeta's room. He'd never felt so anxious waiting for someone to show up. He thought back to all the times Goku left his family and friends, leaving them to wait years at a time for his return.

There were a lot of things he knew they had to talk about. Which frightened him. Until recently, he was content being reticent around Goku. He assumed Goku would just step in line and follow his orders with little disobedience and questioning. Which got him into this mess in the first place.

It pained him to know Goku felt it necessary to trick him into being his mate.  _Am I really that difficult to deal with?_

Vegeta sprawled out on his bed. He wore nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. The rational part of his brain wanted to believe all they'd do is 'talk' during this little visit. But unless in the past few days Goku decided to become celibate, Future Vegeta will thank him for under dressing for this occasion.

After waiting a few minutes longer, he rummaged around on the floor and grabbed the sketchbook Marron gave him. Using the same broken pencil from earlier, he doodled over the page. He drew a cartoon of 18 and Krillin dancing, but Krillin was too short to see past 18's shoulders. "Heh…"

"Vegeta, what're you doing?"

He yelped, and shoved the sketchbook under his pillow. "Kakarot, why did you sneak up on me?"

Goku stood at the edge of Vegeta's bed, smiling. "Should I have knocked on the door first?"

Blushing, Vegeta pulled his knees to his chest. Goku stared deep into his eyes until Vegeta couldn't take the intensity anymore. He lowered his head to scrutinize Goku's snow boots, then swallowed in the rest of the larger Saiyan's body. "You're filthy. And what the hell are you wearing?"

"It's a long story." Goku pulled off his giant earmuffs. "Much better. I can hear you now."

"Don't talk to me until you've bathed." Vegeta pointed at the door leading to the bathroom.

Goku blinked. "Alright." He pulled off his giant parka, which dropped on the floor with a loud thud.

"Don't leave your filthy clothes on the bedroom floor. Undress in the bathroom and put them in the hamper!"

Goku smiled. "Yes, sir." As he walked into the bathroom, he trailed snow slush and dirt across the carpet.

Vegeta fell backwards onto the bed. He folded his hands over his stomach, and smiled up at the ceiling.


	16. Part Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of you readers out there, thanks so much for sticking with this story! Special shout out to the usual reviewers, too. You guys are awesome. I take your every word to heart.
> 
> Based on what I have planned, we're about three-quarters through the story. The end is near! This chapter was actually supposed to include a lot more action, but I just couldn't gloss over this intimate moment between Goku and Vegeta. They're so much fun to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know the last three have been tough. You deserve fluff.

"Vegetaaaa," Goku yelled from the bathroom.

"What is it?" In his bedroom, Vegeta waited on pins and needles. This had to be the longest shower in the world. What could Goku possibly be doing in there for so long?

"I need a towel."

Goku, for the most part, wasn't the seductive type. Not intentionally. But Vegeta knew Goku had at least two brain cells to rub together so he could find the linen closet. It was his poor attempt to get the Prince to come in the bathroom. "The towels are in the closet next to the sink."

"But I can't reach it."

"Yes you can, dear."

"Vegeta…my clothes are dirty. Can you wash them for me?"

 _He has a good point, his clothes are dir—_ "Hey! Stop being lazy and get out here already."

"Pleeease…"

"Ugh. Fine." Vegeta rolled out of bed and stomped into the bathroom. Steam filled the small space, water droplets in the air clinging to his skin. He plucked Goku's clothes up off the floor, then stared into the frosted glass shower door. Goku smiled back at him. "Hey."

Vegeta blushed. Quickly, he turned on his heel and ran out. Goku knew exactly how to toy with him. In the hallway he found the nook hiding the washing machine. He dumped in the dirty clothes along with some detergent, then started the cycle. Easy enough.

Back in his room he waited for Goku again. He pulled his sketchbook out from beneath his pillow, and shoved it under the bed. The shower's thundering roar finally ended. "Hey Vegeta," Goku said, voice much clearer than before, "I hope you don't mind if I use your toothbrush."

"WHAT!" Vegeta ran to the bathroom door and flung it open. Goku stood with a white towel barely wrapped around his waist, and a plastic toothbrush in his outstretched hand. "Put that down!"

"Geez, I was joking. I found one unwrapped under the sink." Goku brushed his teeth, still smiling at Vegeta.

"You." Vegeta's eyes trailed down Goku's firm stomach. "You're…"

"I'm what? All wet?"

"Yes." The word fell out of his mouth, stupid and slow. Of course Goku was wet. He was just in the shower. Why were they even talking about this?

Goku spit his toothpaste into the sink. "Mm. You want to dry me off?"

"Yes. Fuck. I mean no. No, I don't."

Goku slid off his towel and used it to pat-dry his spiky hair. He kept his dark eyes glued to Vegeta the whole time, as if daring the Prince to look down past his naked hips. Vegeta won _that_ game by turning around. "When you're done, come back in my room."

"I don't have any clothes to wear, 'Geta. Since you put them in the wash."

 _You bastard!_ "Take these. They'll fit you." Vegeta pulled down his sweatpants. Thank gods he was wearing underwear.

"Thanks," Goku said, the fun all gone from his voice. Vegeta turned to leave again, but Goku grabbed his shoulder. "Hey, hold on a sec."

"Yes?"

Goku wrapped his warm arms around Vegeta's waist. He sighed, and leaned his head in the crook of Vegeta's neck. "I missed you."

Vegeta felt the steam still rising off his damp skin. The smell of his own soap and Goku's scent overcame his senses. He leaned against Goku's weight. "I missed you too."

"Good. Wanna do it?"

"Kakarot! You're here to  _talk_ , remember?"

"I know…" He growled into Vegeta's ear. "I'm just so horny. Aren't you?"

Vegeta never had the pleasure of hearing the word 'horny' grace Goku's mouth before. To recollect himself, he silently counted to ten. Afterward he plucked Goku's hands from his body. "I'm serious. We should talk."

Goku poked his lower lip out. "Fine." He marched into the bedroom, and planted himself in the middle of the bed.

As a courtesy, Vegeta snuggled up beside him. Goku's pissy demeanor evaporated, leaving a pleasing smile on his lips. Vegeta laid his head down into Goku's lap and stared up at him.

"Vegeta," Goku said in a whisper. He ran his fingers through Vegeta's hair. "Your hair grew again."

"It  _did_?" He hadn't noticed at all, and he'd been paying close attention.

"It grew a little in the back. You're almost back to normal, huh?"

"It seems insignificant to me now," Vegeta sighed. "I'm sorry. Again. About the other day."

Goku continued running his fingers in rows across Vegeta's scalp. "I forgive you. But why don't you want to see me for a whole year?"

Vegeta slid his hand up the arm petting him. He couldn't outright tell Goku about his plans for mating. Not yet. Knowing Goku, he'd want to get the deed done in just a few days. "Kakarot, I know you love me. But if you haven't noticed, I'm not good at being a boyfriend."

"Sure you are—"

"No. I want to be better for you. So please, I need this time to focus on that."

Goku looked down wistfully at him. "So it's like you're about to train."

Vegeta chuckled at his sudden insightfulness. "That's a good way of thinking about it."

" _I've_  been away for longer than a year, huh." He ghosted his thumb across the bottom of Vegeta's lip. "What changed your mind about all of this?"

"I thought about you while you were gone. A lot." He paused. "And 18 lectured me about how much of an asshole I am."

Goku laughed. "I wish she'd been your friend sooner."

Vegeta enjoyed the way Goku's fingers traced though his scalp and down the nape of his neck. It sent a pleasing shiver to the base of his spine. Goku hummed some nameless song under his breath, and it nearly lulled Vegeta to sleep. Goku's soft voice brought him away from the brink. "Vegeta, since you want to…change things, can I ask you questions without you getting mad at me anymore?"

He hadn't expected that. "Sure."

"Do you never want to mate with me?"

Vegeta inhaled. "How about after the year is up,  _maybe_ we can talk about it again?"

Goku gasped. "Really?!"

"I won't lie. I've been thinking about it." He smirked, pressing a finger against Goku's opening mouth. "I said I was  _thinking_  about it. Don't get ahead of yourself."

Goku flashed him a giant smile. "That's good enough for me. I'll be happy even if we don't."

"My father would be furious if he knew I'd be submissive in a relationship." He laughed to himself. It was an outright lie. Maybe back when Planet Vegeta existed, his father would be in an outrage. But only Goku could convince King Vegeta to come back from the afterlife to berate his son about mating with the third-class specifically.

"You can make me submissive to you anytime you want," Goku said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh shut-up," Vegeta said, playfully pushing Goku away from him.

"I have another question, Veggie. But you may not like it."

"Shoot."

"Why did you have sex with Frieza?"

He winced. "I didn't think you'd ask about _that_."

"I need to know. You said I was like him."

"I'm sorry I said that, Kakarot." He felt his heart pound in his chest. "It's complicated. I think I did it because I enjoyed hurting myself. I was young when it happened, and I wasn't happy then."

It was difficult to gauge Goku's long silence. "Did you want me to have sex with you on our date because you wanted me to hurt you? Because you don't like yourself?"

Vegeta bit his lip. By the way Goku tensed his muscles, he took Vegeta's hesitance as something to fear. "I wanted to have sex because I trusted you. But yes, part of me must have felt the other way too."

Predictably, Goku didn't react well. He bared his teeth. "Why do you think I'd want to do something so horrible to you?"

"It doesn't have anything to do with you at all. It's all me." He pressed his hand against Goku's chest to soothe him. "You're the only man I've ever been in love with. I'm still confused about how to handle all of this."

Goku's anger slipped from him. "That night—I wanted to make love to you. Not nail you to the floorboards…Not that I didn't enjoy it, of course."

"Don't take what I said earlier the wrong way. I trust you, and I'd do it again regardless of my feelings about Frieza." He grinned. "It was the best sex of my life."

Goku's face reddened at that. His eyes darted around the room. "Fine. Next question. What was having sex with my brother like?"

Vegeta rubbed his face. "It was fine."

"Just _fine_? You said he was better at it than me."

"It was a lie. You're better." Vegeta smirked. "You're a lot more fun than he ever was."

"Whew, that's good!" Goku planted a kiss on Vegeta's forehead.

"Is Yamcha better than I am?" Vegeta asked.

"Oh," Goku yelped, caught off guard. "I stopped thinking about that after Bulma got so mad at me."

"How could you stop? It was incredible."

"I'd like to think so. But what about Bulma's feelings?"

Vegeta was unsure whether to bring up what went down at Capsule Corp the other night. Was it dishonest to never mention he almost had sex with Bulma? The moment actually helped him dedicate himself to improving his relationship with Goku, so maybe it  _was_  important to bring up. "Kakarot, I'm going to tell you something. I don't want to upset you—"

"Uh-oh."

"I met with Bulma last night. We almost had sex." He let the statement exist between them for a few moments. "But I stopped myself. I was lonely for you, and it was a bad habit of mine."

"Having sex with Bulma?!"

"Yes. After a big fight." Vegeta paused again. "I won't be seeing her for a year either. She said she's going to start dating again, too."

"Wow." Goku looked away from Vegeta to stare out the window. "I guess my suspicions about you two wasn't just my imagination, huh?"

 _Ouch._ "You're right. But I don't want her. I want you." He hoped he hadn't lost Goku already. "She's jealous of how much I care for you."

"She didn't say that!"

"She did. That's the real reason she was so pissed about getting that phone call."

Goku closed his eyes, digesting the new information. Finally he sighed in relief. "Thank gods. She made me feel like shit. But does that mean she's still in love with you?"

"There are…lingering feelings. But only on her end."

Goku frowned. Vegeta couldn't do anything to help the reality of the situation; he settled on rubbing Goku's chest as an unspoken apology. Goku covered Vegeta's hand with his own. "I can't see how she could possibly be jealous of me."

"You  _are_ hot, Kakarot."

"Heh. I always saw you as the hot one."

"That's nice and all, but you never answered  _my_  question. Is Yamcha better at screwing you than me?"

"Haha Vegeta, we only had sex one time!"

"He's  _that_  good, huh?" Vegeta muttered under his breath.

"No, no, don't take it that way!" Vegeta admired the shy way Goku scratched the back of his head and blushed.  _How could a grown man be so adorable?_  "Of course you're better! It's just I've never, um, felt anything that big in me before. It was amazing!"

" _You_ looked amazing getting reamed by that goofy bastard. I never knew you loved cock so much."

Goku's eyes narrowed. He licked his lips. "Yeah, me neither. It was great when we did him at the same time, too. I loved the sounds you both made."

The energy between them shifted. Vegeta wanted to slap himself silly. Here he was doing the same thing he chided Goku for in the bathroom earlier. If he let things get out of hand too soon, they'd be naked in seconds. Going by Goku's leer, in his imagination he was already on all fours atop Vegeta's bed. "Would you ever want to do it again?" Vegeta asked.  _Shit, that's not the direction I should go in either!_

"Totally. But uh, I guess Yamcha has a thing with Puar? I don't want to get in between those two."

"She's a  _cat_. You can't be in a real relationship with a cat."

"She's my friend. I don't want to hurt her."

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Kakarot."

"During this year, you're not going to…you know…"

"Fuck Yamcha?" Vegeta laughed. "I wasn't planning on it."

"Oh. Good!" Goku looked genuinely relieved. "I liked it when it was between all three of us."

Vegeta nodded. "Mm. May I ask you another question?"

"I thought  _I_  was asking them." Goku grinned. "But what do you want to know?"

"Why are you in love with me?"

Goku laughed as if the answer was obvious. "You make me so happy, Vegeta! Even when you're mean to me. You always have."

 _I wasn't expecting that._ "What do you mean?"

"Hm." Goku counted his fingers. "You always want to get stronger, which I admire. You always look out for the people you love, even if you say otherwise. You have respect and pride for things that matter. You never give up on anything. You're a better father than I ever was—"

"Don't say that."

"It's true! You've always been around for Trunks while he grew up." He continued to count. "And you're my best friend 'cause you understand me better than anyone else. Aaand you're really attractive. Should I go on even though you're blushing now?"

Vegeta threw an arm over his face. "Kakarot, I love you."

Goku pulled Vegeta's arm down. "Aw, Vegeta…Why are you hiding from me? I have to see as much of you as I can before I leave."

"Are you going back to the prison?" Vegeta had no idea what Goku's life was like now. "Where is it? Since you have those ridiculous clothes it must be somewhere freezing."

Goku went into detail about the strange underground prison, digging the tunnel, and Boris and Anya's plan for rebellion. "It's all strange, but at least it'll give me something to do for the next year!"

Vegeta raised his brow. "You're not the revolutionary type. So why bother?"

Goku shrugged. "They seem nice enough. It's good to help people."

"Your life's been much more interesting than mine. Maybe I make you boring."

"I love being boring with you!"

Vegeta smiled. "Fine. But you can only be boring with me until the morning. Then you should leave."

"Ooh, I get to stay? Will you entertain me?"

Vegeta read the alarm clock next to his bed. "We have five minutes until the spin cycle is over."

* * *

As quiet as a mouse, Trunks slid out of Goten's room.

A thin veneer of sweat covered his body. He was at the brink of exhaustion, but he'd finally succeeded at taking Goten's innocence. Not that there was much left when they began earlier that night. Both of them were adamant to be as quiet as possible so not to raise attention from Krillin or 18. He imagined Krillin would chew him out mercilessly for taking advantage of his generosity.

He smacked his lips. He couldn't wait to get downstairs and grab a fresh, cold glass of wa—

"Ah! Ah!  _Ahh_ , Vegeta!"

Trunks snapped his neck to stare at his father's bedroom door. It sounded like Vegeta was flinging his bed against the wall and floor. Mattress springs squeaked in what resembled pain. A loud string of curses bled into the hall. "Fuck, Kakarot!"

"Yes! Oh gods, right  _there—"_ Goku's voice was at a strange, quivery pitch Trunks never heard before. His horror kept him glued to the spot.

"You fucking love my cock, don't you?"

"Yes! Yes baby—" Goku cut himself off with a long groan. The floor shook, and a picture frame on the wall fell to the ground. Trunks jumped away from the broken glass.

Unlike Goten, Trunks didn't have as easy of a time acknowledging his father's new relationship. In his mind it was a fact with no emotional connotation besides a latent annoyance. He categorized it in a part of his brain where he didn't have to consider the actual mechanics of his father having sex with a man. It was just a strange, abstract thing that happened whenever he wasn't around. Talking about it with his dad was awkward, but still allowed him the comfort of thinking about it in the theoretical.

Until now. For the first time it was real.

 _Maybe they're just fighting,_ he thought.  _Yeah!_  His dad and Goku were just sparring like old times. And fighting was always noisy. That's why they were screaming.

"Do you want it," Vegeta panted, short of breath, "in your ass or your mouth?"

"In my ass, Vegeta, fill me right the fuck up—"

Trunks pressed his weight against the wall.  _Yup…They're sparring! Just sparring! That's all that's happening right now!_

Vegeta yelped. Moments later, all the clamor died down. Only heavy pants and gasps came from behind the bedroom door. Goku purred. "Oh, Vegeta…"

Trunks flexed his hands. Sweat drenched his palms from clenching them for so long. The unmistakable sound of slurping came from inside the bedroom, mingling with Goku's soft moaning. Minutes later, Goku's moans petered off into a sigh.

 _Thank the gods._ Trunks could finally compose himself. Then wipe the memory from his mind forever—

Vegeta slammed the bedroom door open. He wiped his arm against his wet mouth. Trunks noticed he was also mid-way through tugging a pair of boxer shorts up his waist. The blood drained from his face. His father stared back at him, then walked to the washing machine. Tranquil, he loaded the dryer up with the wet clothes, turned on the machine, then glanced at Trunks again.

Trunks gulped. "Hi Dad."

Vegeta squinted at him, peering into his soul. "Did you just bed Kakarot's son?"

Trunks nearly fell over. "I…Um—"

Vegeta crossed his arms. "Well done."

He wasn't sure how to take that. This sequence of events was too much for his teenage brain to process.

Vegeta was in obvious high spirits. A smirk graced his ruddy face, and he walked back into the bedroom without another word.

* * *

Downstairs in his own bed, Krillin stared up at the ceiling. Beside him lay 18 with an equally as shocked look on her face.

He pointed upward. "They…made a crack…" His finger followed the long, thin fissure in the ceiling plaster.

"Wow," 18 said. "I take it their conversation went  _really_  well."

* * *

At dawn, Goku was awoken by Vegeta stretching like a cat beside him. Naked, firm muscles slid against his own. Instinctively he pulled Vegeta closer to his chest, spooning him from behind. His large palms smoothed over his stomach. "Mm, good morning."

Vegeta grumbled. He rubbed the soles of his feet against Goku's toes. Goku interpreted it as a cheerful greeting. A brilliant idea popped into his head. He sucked on a small patch of skin on Vegeta's neck, nibbling and occasionally biting down on it.

Vegeta smiled, his eyes still closed. "Stop it. It tickles."

"Just leaving you something to remember me by." Goku tugged on the wet skin until it slid from between his lips with a pop. He moved to another sensitive part of Vegeta's neck and repeated the process. Vegeta purred at the affection, his words betraying his body. "Stop it, Kakarot…"

Goku nibbled another patch of skin. "Or what?"

Vegeta slid away from him. "Turn your back to me," he sighed. Going by his groggy voice he was still half asleep.

Goku briefly pouted, then flipped over. Behind him, Vegeta snaked his arm up his chest. His index and middle finger prodded into Goku's mouth to massage his tongue. Goku sucked on them to coat them in his spit. As much as he adored the rough side of Vegeta, the rare moments the Prince lavished him with tenderness made him feel like he was falling in love all over again.

Vegeta pulled his fingers from his mouth. Anticipating what was to come next, Goku repositioned himself by pulling his right knee to his chest. With the easier pathway, Vegeta pressed the two fingers inside him with ease.

For a long while they stayed just like that. Vegeta slowly scissored and curled his fingers inside of Goku until the larger Saiyan worked himself into a mild frenzy. When he finally pulled out, Goku rolled his face into the pillow and groaned. Vegeta pressed his tip into him, slowly rocking in and out.

"Closer," Vegeta mumbled into Goku's ear. He grasped onto Goku's raised leg and pulled it closer to him so Goku spread further open. The position allowed him to slide in deeper.

"Oooh…" The pillow ate all of Goku's nonsensical muttering. He couldn't remember the last time they had sex this slow. Every time Vegeta hit the wonderful spot deep inside of him, a toe-curling wave of pleasure jolted up his spine to his neck.

"I love you," Vegeta whispered.

Goku clenched his eyes shut. It was the first time Vegeta uttered those words during sex. "I love you too," he sighed.

Vegeta wrapped his palm around Goku's cock and gently pulled. Gasping, Goku wanted to prolong the blissful moment, but couldn't contain himself. Soon he came in Vegeta's hand. Behind him Vegeta buried his face in his neck to muffle his own orgasm.

They cuddled, still joined together. Goku drifted off back to sleep.

* * *

Hours later, a soft knock rapped against the door. "Uncle Vegeta?"

Vegeta raised his head. The pillowcase stuck to the side of his cheek, glued to his face with drool. "Huh?"

"We're having breakfast downstairs." It was Marron. There was a weird pitch to her voice. She giggled. "Is Uncle Goku still with you?"

Vegeta rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Beside him Goku lay, snoring loud enough to wake the dead. How did he ever sleep through that? "Yes, he is."

"Great! You both can come down and eat with us!"

He yawned. "Sure. Let me get ready."

Marron ran away from the door back down the hall. He shoved Goku. "Wake up, Kakarot."

"Nooo." Goku pulled the bed sheets over his messy head and curled into a ball.

"There's breakfast downstairs."

Goku jumped up, eyes bloodshot. "Why didn't you say so?" He leapt out of bed. "I gotta take another shower. Where are my clothes?"

"In the dryer. Get in there and I'll join you in a second."

While Goku stumbled into the bathroom, Vegeta skulked into the hall and pulled all of Goku's clothes from the dryer. A wave of sadness hit him and he had to catch his breath. For the past few months he was used to washing Goku's clothes. This was the last time he'd do such a thing for a year. He walked back into his room and threw them onto the bed.

Krillin's guest shower was a single stall, which made it difficult for them to get much cleaning done at the same time. "Dammit Kakarot, let me get my soap!" Goku was in the middle of washing his hair, while Vegeta was still trying to get started. At one point Goku wrung his hair out and dripped soap into Vegeta's eyes. The Prince smacked him hard on the ass. "Hurry up already!"

"Ow! Fine!" Goku open the shower door and dripped all the way back to the bedroom to get dressed.

In a rush, Vegeta abandoned his morning ritual of looking in the mirror. He quickly dressed himself. "Let's go," he said while tugging on Goku's arm. They rushed downstairs like children, occasionally bumping into each other when rounding a corner.

Goku stepped into the dining room. "Hey guys!" He beamed.

Vegeta knew something was wrong the moment he stepped foot off the stairs. Marron was blushing. 18 had the most devious smirk he'd ever seen plastered all of her face. And Krillin…looked like steam was about to pour from his ears.

"Oh.  _Hello,_ Goku!" Krillen said, shouting. He stuffed a forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

"Hey buddy, long time no see!" Goku clapped him on the back. "I've got some good news. I'm not going to be in prison anymore!"

"Is that so?" 18 said. She hadn't touched her plate of food yet.

"Yup. I finished my sentence." Goku frowned. "Then I'm going back to help the prisoners with something." He sat down in the empty seat next to Marron and fixed himself a huge helping from the breakfast spread on the table. "I'll be gone for a long time."

"I'm so happy to see you again!" Marron said. She hugged Goku and almost got her arm bitten in the crossfire of his eating. "Will you still visit us from time to time?"

"I hope I can," he said, looking at Vegeta. At rapid fire speed, he stuffed food into his mouth. "Where's Goten?"

"The kid sleeps like a log. If we're lucky we'll see him by lunchtime," Krillin muttered.

Vegeta sat down opposite of Marron. The girl's eyes bulged, then she looked away. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," she said.

"Vegeta," 18 said, her voice cracking. "Did you—" she laughed. "Did you get into a fight last night? Your neck is covered in..." She laughed, unable to finish the sentence.

Horror stricken, he raised his hand and touched his neck.  _Goddammit, Kakarot!_

"Sorry," Goku said, blushing.

 _Leave it to Kakarot to cover me in hickies!_ He rubbed his neck, ashamed.

"That's not the only thing you should apologize for," Krillin murmured.

"Oh." Goku looked up from his food. "Sorry about the other night, Krillin. I had to borrow some food. I was so hungry! But you should be happy, because you also fed a bunch of the prisoners—"

"Not  _that!_ " Krillin yelled. "Well, that pissed me off too! But what about last night?"

Goku tilted his head. "Did I do something wrong?"

18 laughed. "The whole house got to hear you two's performance." She applauded in Vegeta's direction. "Bravo, Prince Vegeta!"

 _Oh my gods._  Vegeta face-palmed himself.

"Oh wow, you could hear us?" Goku said. "I'm sorry!"

"You nearly broke my ceiling!" Krillin yelled, waving his arms in the air.

"Hee-hee!" Goku scratched the back of his head. "Sorry Krillin. There's no way I could be quiet while Vegeta was—"

"Let's not talk about this anymore!" Vegeta loaded up his plate. "Isn't there anything more interesting to discuss?"

Krillin huffed. "I guess." The anger faded from his voice. Vegeta figured few people could stay upset with Goku for long. "Last night 18 told me about your new hobby, Vegeta."

Marron squeaked. "Dad! Not while Uncle Goku's here!"

Both Goku and Krillin raised a brow. "Why not?" Krillin asked. "Goku should know Vegeta is—"

"Hush! I told you it's going to be a surprise!" 18 grabbed onto Krillin's wrist.

"Huh? What?" Goku looked at Vegeta. "What's a surprise?"

"Nothing at all." Vegeta sighed. This family was going to be the death of him. "Kakarot, you should tell us more about your journey the past few days."

Goku gave him a strange smile. "Okay."

The rest of breakfast was filled with conversation about the underground prison, the strange wintry wasteland it lay in, and the prisoners' plans. "It sounds pretty dangerous," Marron pointed out. "Are you sure you won't just get into more trouble?"

Goku shrugged. "They said they wouldn't kill anyone, so it can't be too bad. Right?"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Sure."

After breakfast, Vegeta walked Goku to the front door. The familiar twinge of sadness hit him again. It was hard to remember he had to stick to his goal. If Goku pushed him too much in the other direction, he might just agree a year apart was too long.

Goku stood in front of the open door, peering sadly into the outside world. "I don't want to leave you."

"I know." Vegeta peered over his shoulder. Krillin's whole family was watching them. "May I have some privacy?" he asked.

"No. Not after last night. You lost that privilege," 18 said.

Vegeta sighed. "Fine." He looked up at Goku's sad face. "Please trust me. It's a long time, but things will be better when you get back."

"I can't imagine what that'll be like," Goku said. Like during their picnic date, the sunlight pouring in the doorway cast a halo around his face. It was so blinding Vegeta wanted to look away. "You're already perfect for me, Vegeta."

"Aww," 18 said.

Vegeta rubbed the side of Goku's face. "You're too kind to me."

"Can I come see you sometimes? Or at least call you?"

"You can call me once in a while."

Goku's smile lit up the room. "Are you going to stay here the whole time?"

"If they let me."

"We will!" 18 yelled.

"Good. I'll send you things in the mail, okay?" Goku leaned down and pecked his cheek.

"Wow Uncle Vegeta, you're going to get love letters!" Marron gushed.

All this talk from the peanut gallery was driving Vegeta up a wall. "Yes, it's all  _very_  romantic."

Goku straightened his back. "I'll miss you. I love you, Vegeta."

Vegeta blushed. He didn't want everyone to see  _this_  part of their goodbye. But what could he do about it now? "I love you too, Kakarot. More than anything."

"Aww!" 18 and Marron cooed behind him.

"This is super weird," Krillin said, half-laughing.

"Shut-up!" Vegeta said. He pulled Goku down into another kiss. Goku sighed and embraced him. They continued to kiss each other, Vegeta pleased by how Goku's mouth felt perfect against his own. Goku's hand roamed down his back to grab his ass.

"Ahem," 18 coughed.

"Okay, time for me to go!" Goku looked past Vegeta and waved. "See you guys in a year!"

"See ya, Goku," Krillin said. Vegeta glanced back at him, and could've sworn he was misty-eyed. He wondered how many times Krillin had to say goodbye to Goku in his lifetime.

"Goodbye," Goku said. He stole another quick kiss from Vegeta. He mouthed 'I love you', then walked backwards out the door.

"Kakarot…" Vegeta followed him. He tugged on Goku's sleeve. "I'm sorry for throwing the rings away." He wasn't sure why  _that_ had to be the last thing he said to him. But in his heart it felt important to mention.

Goku smiled again, but this time he looked so forlorn. "That's okay, sweetie." He leaned close to Vegeta. "Besides, I can't wait to see  _your_ surprise when I get back."

"Don't forget about me," Vegeta said in a rush. It was the stupidest thing he'd ever said. He pulled Goku into another kiss, unable to tear himself away.

Goku laughed into his mouth, and pressed his fingers to his forehead. In the middle of their kiss, he disappeared. Vegeta tumbled forward, catching himself on one knee.

 _He's gone_. Vegeta stared into the empty void in front of him for a few seconds. He regained his composure and walked back inside the house.

Marron's eyes sparkled. She clasped her hands together. "I hope _I_  can be in love like that one day."

"Whatever." He rolled his shoulders. "Can we begin our lessons now?"

She looked taken aback by how Vegeta didn't appear fazed at all. She nodded. "Of course!"

"Good. I'll be in your studio shortly." Marron skipped out of the front room in joy. Vegeta brought his attention to Krillin and 18. He bent into a half bow. "Thank you both for keeping me. I'm sorry about last night."

"It's—"

" _Fine_ ," 18 said, interrupting Krillin. "Don't worry about it."

"Krillin," Vegeta said, "I need a favor. Do you know where I can find the Namekian? I don't want to waste time searching the whole planet for him again."

"Piccolo? He's usually over Gohan's house nowadays." Krillin chuckled. "He's big into babysitting Pan."

"Is that so?" Vegeta looked up at the ceiling.  _I don't like children, but if this plan works…_

"Yep. What do you need him for?"

Vegeta didn't bother replying. He walked outside through the patio door toward Marron's studio, still looking up at the sky in deep thought.


	17. Part Seventeen Falls into Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update sooner, but I had to work hella hours this past week. This chapter was also a beast to finish. I hope you all enjoy it. We’re around the 100,000 word mark, which is a new achievement for me. I’ve never written this much for a story before. We’re almost at the finish line!
> 
> Also, did anyone watch Episode 14 of Dragon Ball Super this weekend?! The kakavege gods smiled down upon us and made Vegeta do something beautiful for Goku. Be sure to check that episode out!

"I never knew Namekians made great babysitters." Vegeta gently landed in Mr. Satan's backyard.

Piccolo glared at him from across the lawn. Cradled between his hulking arms sat a tiny baby with a messy mop of black hair. Vegeta laughed; Piccolo barely fit in the wicker lawn chair he rocked back and forth in.

"What're  _you_  doing here," Piccolo growled. Baby Pan awoke at the unsettling noise and started crying.

"Just checking up on you." Vegeta walked across the soft grass. "Is that so wrong?"

"You want something. What is it?" He bounced Pan up and down against his chest. "Or did you get bored using Goku as your  _boy toy_  and decided to bother _me_ now?"

Vegeta's eyebrow twitched. "Don't get it twisted. I love Kakarot."

The frown on Piccolo's face softened. But Vegeta knew the alien was still wary of getting too chummy with the Prince. "Why are you here?"

"I want to spend some time with you."

Piccolo scoffed. "Why should I be around you when I don't have to?"

"Listen. I  _really_  came to ask…" Vegeta pinched the bridge of his nose. "Would you like to start sparring with me?" Piccolo's strong gaze was hard to read. Vegeta averted his eyes and kicked a tiny pebble in the grass. "Kakarot will be on a journey until next summer. I don't use the Gravity Room anymore. So I need a partner."

Piccolo's mouth warped into a strange shape Vegeta couldn't interpret.  _Is he thinking about it?_ Piccolo stared up into the sky. "Why…should I?" he said slowly.

"Oh come on." Vegeta suppressed the urge to point out Piccolo would benefit the most if they sparred together. But the alien would demand he leave if he said that. "You enjoy fighting as much as I do. It'd be fun."

"Fun? With you?" Piccolo blinked. "This isn't some trick to kill me, is it?"

"Heh. You don't know me well, do you?"

Piccolo looked down at Pan. "I can't do it now. Not with the kid."

A shit-eating grin crossed Vegeta's face. "Not that this helps free up time for sparring. But I'd be happy to babysit her sometimes."

Piccolo flew backwards in the chair. "What? Are you insane! Gohan and Videl will kill me if I give  _you_  their baby!"

"Unlike you," Vegeta spat, "I've actually had a child. At least let me help her stop crying. You're holding her all wrong."

A purple blush spread across Piccolo's face. Hesitant, he handed Pan off into Vegeta's open arms. Vegeta cradled her, making sure to keep her head elevated. Pan opened her eyes wide to stare up into Vegeta's face. Her crying faded into a soft coo.

"Oh, so she likes  _you_ all of a sudden?" Piccolo said.

"Heh." Vegeta tapped her small nose. "Very cute."

"That's nice. But I still can't let you take her without Gohan or Videl's permission."

"Fine. Then let's go somewhere together."

"What?" Piccolo curled his lip into a sneer. "Like  _where_?"

"I don't care. How about a walk? A ritzy neighborhood like this has be interesting, right?" Vegeta asked.

Piccolo got up out of the chair. "You lead the way."

While the premises were sprawling, it was a short walk down the path leading to the main street outside the mansion. Vegeta expected the surrounding neighborhood to be fancy—but he didn't anticipate all of the paparazzi and tourists. A large tour bus careened around the street corner and skidded to a stop in front of them.

The tour guide stood up on the top deck of the bus and screamed into his microphone. "To our  _right_  you can see the home of the noble, powerful, and magnanimous Mr. Satan!"

"OooOOOh!" All of the tourists held up cameras and phones to take pictures.

"Wow! Ladies and gentlemen, two people just left his mansion now! It looks like…Eh?" The tour guide scratched his head. "A short man wearing a strange wig…his baby…and his green husband?"

"Husband?!" Vegeta and Piccolo screeched simultaneously.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" screeched one woman. "I love seeing two very different people in love!"

"Maybe Mr. Satan's shooting a movie in there!" yelled another tourist. "Hold up the baby so I can take a better picture!"

Vegeta extended his middle finger and wagged it in the air. "Take a picture of this!"

"He's so feisty," one of the tourists said. "And kind of cute holding that baby…"

"Let's leave." Piccolo grabbed Vegeta's shoulder and pulled him farther down the sidewalk.

The rest of their walk was much less eventful. They stuck to traversing the side streets to avoid the main drag where belligerent tourists milled about.

Vegeta wasn't used to spending time around someone who only spoke when necessary. Goku, Marron, and 18 couldn't stop talking even if they tried. In a way, Piccolo's cool demeanor was a breath of fresh air.

"So. Goku. Why him?"

Vegeta plucked one of his locks of hair out of Pan's death grip. " _You're_  interested in that?"

"After his wife's death, I don't understand why he'd choose to be with someone else. Especially you. And you both have your own families. Why complicate things?"

Vegeta abhorred explaining his actions to others under their scrutiny. It was a bit demoralizing, like apologizing to your enemies. But it was important for Piccolo to hear his side of things. "It's hard to explain it to someone who doesn't understand romantic relationships."

Piccolo smiled. "Like you're an expert."

"Ha-ha." He looked down at Pan's smiling face.  _She looks so much like Kakarot, it's scary._ He exhaled."It was inevitable. Kakarot and I are different from each other, but at the same time alike."

"Because you're both Saiyans."

"That's part of it. Even when I wanted to kill him the first time I met him, I felt a strong magnetism between us." Vegeta blushed. "It wasn't until after his wife was gone and I lost…intimacy with my own partner that I understood what that feeling we shared meant."

The blush blooming across Piccolo's stoic face amused Vegeta. Piccolo coughed. "So you didn't push Goku into being with you?"

"He wishes. Kakarot wanted me  _bad_. And I didn't give in easily."

"Too much info, Vegeta."

Vegeta continued, ignoring Piccolo's discomfort. "We're happier together than apart. It's as simple as that." He paused. "And Kakarot is fucking  _amazing_ in bed. _"_

Piccolo leaned over to cover Pan's ears. "The baby, Vegeta!"

"Don't be melodramatic. She doesn't understand a word I'm saying."

Pan reached her arms into the air. "Kaka!" she squealed.

" _See_?" Piccolo growled, "The girl's like a sponge."

"She's just learning her grandpa's real name! Aren't you, sweetie?" Vegeta nuzzled his nose against Pan's.

Piccolo cast him a strange glance. "Gohan and Videl will be home soon. Let's head back."

The return trip to Mr. Satan's house included far fewer annoyances. Two women on the street asked to take a picture with them, but Piccolo scared them away with a nasty bark. Once back on Mr. Satan's property they walked through the hidden gate leading to the backyard. Vegeta heard Videl's screaming before he saw her. "Piccolo! Where are you?!"

"We just went on a short walk." Piccolo strode up to her and Gohan. Gohan looked relieved, but a deep set frown was still on Videl's face.

"Where's—" She glanced past Piccolo at Vegeta. "Oh."

It was painful watching Videl struggle to give a reason why she wanted Pan out of his hands immediately. "We were just spending some time together," he offered in her silence. He motioned to hand Pan back to her mother. The baby cried out and clung to his shirt.

"Aw, it's okay Pan." Videl rubbed Pan's cheek.

"I can help." Vegeta lifted her into the air. "Pan likes to fly, doesn't she? Yes you do!" Pan erupted into giggles.

The color drained from Gohan's face. "Wow. I didn't know you liked kids so much, Vegeta."

"I don't." Vegeta's normal demeanor returned to him. He handed Pan off to Videl.

Videl stared up at Vegeta for a few seconds longer than he liked. She smiled. "Do you want to have dinner with us? Piccolo's coming to."

"I am?" Piccolo asked.

Vegeta shrugged. "Sure."

"Good thing you're over here." Gohan walked beside Vegeta on the long path back inside the mansion. "I don't know  _anything_ about all the trouble Dad's gotten himself into…"

* * *

The humid summer heat forced Vegeta to prop his window open before bed. When he felt his eyes droop close, he was grateful he could drift off to sleep at all.

Hours later, a ghostly whisper tickled his ear. **"Vegeta."**

Still asleep, he pulled his bedsheets over his head. He was in the middle of a delicious dream. Goku was a handsome blue collar worker at a construction site. In his fantasy Vegeta was a lonely jogger passing by, admiring the way Goku's muscles flexed in the harsh sun. He looked great sweating and panting everywhere, lifting heavy metal beams over his shoulder with superhuman ease.

Vegeta had caught his attention, too. Currently Goku was taking a long water break so he could admire Vegeta out the corner of his eye. He took long, deep gulps from his canteen. His adam's apple bobbed up and down. Vegeta stood just a few feet away, smiling innocently.  _Mmm..._

" **Wake up, Vegeta."**

"No, I'm not from around here," he mumbled into his pillow. "My name? Tell me yours first…"

" **Dammit, Vegeta. I don't want to have to slap you awake."**

"No, I don't have a boyfriend. Why do you ask…"

 _SMACK!_  Vegeta jumped up in bed, wide awake. The room was pitch dark. A strong gust of wind billowed through the open window, rippling the curtains. An enormous specter sat on the edge of the bed beside him.

Vegeta rubbed his eyes. "Father?" he asked, groggy.

King Vegeta nodded.  **"It sure takes a lot to get you awake. What the hell were you going on about?"**

"I was  _dreaming_. You know, the thing you're  _supposed_  to do when sleeping." He rubbed the throbbing pain on the side of his head. So he hadn't imagined his father's ghost all those weeks ago. "What do you want?"

" **I didn't come to berate you, my son."**  King Vegeta tilted his head.  **"That's a lie. I will a little bit. But I noticed you've broken three of the curses I put on you."**

Vegeta yawned. "Right. My hair. Very cute."

" **Don't be glib. My curses were the best thing to ever happen to you."**  King Vegeta crossed his legs. His massive hair and cape wafted in the wind.  **"I've been watching you. You're doing well with the mating process, even though you had to be dragged into it. You nearly screwed it all up that time you scared Kakarot with your childish antics."**

Vegeta slumped back into his pillow. He'd forgotten how much he hated being talked down to by an elder. "Everything's fine now."

" **Oh is it?"**  King Vegeta  _tsked._ He pulled a sketchbook from behind his back.  **"What are you doing with things like this?** _ **This**_ **isn't how you should spend your time."**

Vegeta snatched the book from his father's hand. "I enjoy it.  _And_  it'll make Kakarot happy. So kindly fuck off,  _Daddy._ "

" **You think you know everything, but you don't!"**  King Vegeta flicked his middle finger against Vegeta's forehead.  **"You haven't even planned for your children!"**

"Trunks? What about him?"

" **I'm not talking about him, imbecile. You and** _ **Kakarot's**_ **future children. When do I get my next heir?"**

"Gods." A dull pain erupted in Vegeta's skull. His body was too susceptible to this kind of stress. Why couldn't he have a cool ghostly mentor like Obi Wan or…Mufasa. "You already have an heir. And I'm not having any more children."

" **Sure, there's nothing** _ **wrong**_ **with Trunks. But he's a half-blood."**

"Father, don't be foul. Your ideals are outdated on this planet."

" **It's true! Only a full-blooded Saiyan deserves the proper title of prince or princess. And with you and Kakarot still around, there's no reason** _ **not**_ **to get the show on the road and get you knocked up already!"**

Vegeta rubbed his temples. "No."

" **Yes."**

" _No._ "

" **Yes. Absolutely!"**  King Vegeta grinned.  **"Kakarot will make your children look cute, don't you think?"**

"Why would I have more than one!" Vegeta grabbed his pillow and chucked it at his father. It passed straight through him and landed on the floor. "And a Saiyan prince has never been pregnant. Do you know how humiliating that would be? How  _fat_  I would get?"

" **Going by all the sweets you've been eating lately, I'm surprised you aren't the size of a blimp yet!"**

"Oh, fuck you!"

" **You've always been too vain!"**

"Nu-uh!"

" **Yes you are!"**

Vegeta sighed. "This is going nowhere."

King Vegeta patted Vegeta's stomach.  **"Your first son will be named Vegeta, of course—"**

"Just  _stop_ already. I'm happy just having Kakarot around." His father gave him an exasperated look. Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll  _t_ _hink_  about it. But it's not happening anytime soon. Probably never."

" **Finally!"**  King Vegeta clapped his hands together.  **"In the meantime, you have another problem you must tackle."**

Vegeta raised a brow. "Yes?"

" **You need to tell Kakarot what will happen once you become mates."** He stroked his moustache.  **"He should know he's not going to be** _ **nice**_ **during the first day."**

Vegeta covered his face. He knew that after two Saiyans officially became mates, they were  _supposed_  to attempt pregnancy the first day after their union. With Goku as the dominant one, the flush of hormones that'll overtake both their bodies will favor him. Vegeta will be his personal skewer for a whole day. He had no intention of getting pregnant, so the day will have to be for laughs on his end.

 _If_  Goku kept him alive long enough. As much as he hated to admit it, his father had a point. He'll probably have to fight Goku just to prevent himself from being screwed straight into oblivion. The third-class should get a heads-up. "Fine. I'll talk to him about it eventually."

" _ **Eventually?**_ **Don't put this off. He at least knows about the tattoos you will give each other, right?"**

Vegeta grumbled. "No. He's…terrified of needles. So I haven't brought it up yet."

King Vegeta glared at him.  **"That's ridiculous. You're lying. Either way, getting a tattoo will be nothing compared to how hard you've taken him in bed."**

"FATHER!" Defensively, Vegeta pulled his covers over his exposed chest. "How much have you seen?"

" **Don't be dense. I can see everything that happens to you!"**

"Ugh!"

" **Get over yourself."**  King Vegeta stood up.  **"I've said enough for now. I expect you to break the last two remaining curses in due time."**

"Or you could just remove them from me now!"

His father smiled down at him.  **"Where's the fun in that?"**

"Wait." Vegeta looked up. "Don't watch us have sex anymore. Please. I know it doesn't bother you, but it's creepy."

"…Fine. I'll see you again soon." He faded away into thin air.

"Shit." Vegeta covered himself beneath the sheets again. Nothing was more humiliating than having your own father lecture you about sex.

* * *

Summer came and went faster than Vegeta anticipated. Goku's absence opened a great, yawning chasm in his daily routine. The possibilities of how he could best spend his time were endless. As much as he missed the spiky-haired fool, it was exciting to do something different every day.

He buried his father's visit in the back of his mind. Why did that crotchety old man come back from the dead just to lecture him about mating? With all his spying, surely he understood his son's feelings for Goku extended beyond ritual meant to ensure future royal progeny. King Vegeta had never been madly in love.

_Oh gods, is that how I'm going to think of it now? That I've gone mad?_

To flush his mind of negative thoughts he spent every morning in Marron's studio. She taught him art history of the world, and he absorbed it all like a sponge. He enjoyed learning the way historical events shaped art movements. He hoped he could be the same— that somehow  _he_  could make art bred from his own life experiences.

His lack of patience was the worst part of his new life. Little he made in the studio came out looking the way he intended. In many ways it reminded him of the years he whiled away training to surpass Goku in strength. Dissatisfaction with his art-making was an impenetrable wall that pissed him off the more he hit it.

Sure, he  _enjoyed_  painting and drawing. He even enjoyed sculpting. But with all of his talent, he couldn't make anything he admired. Rending things exactly as they existed in reality bored him.

One hot August afternoon, he sat in the backyard doodling beside Marron. She peered over his shoulder to look at his drawing. Instead of showering him with praise like usual, she asked him a strange question. "Do you like comics, Uncle Vegeta?"

Part of him wanted to go on the defensive. He thought comics were supposed to be for children. But he had no reason to feel shame around Marron. "I don't think I've ever read one."

The next morning, Marron knocked on his door. When he answered, Marron stared back at him cheerfully. "Instead of going to the studio, you should read these." She shoved a cardboard box in his hands. It was heavier than it looked.

Cautiously, he pulled open the top flap on the box. Inside were dozens of comics, many in different sizes and languages.

"They're Dad's," she said. "Don't tell him I took them!"

He spent the read of the day reading.

* * *

Weeks later, Vegeta found himself pressing his face against the living room window. "What the hell is happening to the trees outside?"

18, busy coating Vegeta's nails with another coat of clear polish, shot him a curious look. "The leaves are changing."

"Changing?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's fall. All of the trees change color then shed by winter. Don't tell me you didn't know that."

"Of course I know what fall is," Vegeta spat. "I've just never… _seen_  it happen."

"We get seasons in this neck of the woods. Everything will be dead by winter. Isn't that exciting?" She smiled. "I love being cold. It makes you appreciate the heat more."

Vegeta continued to mush his face against the cold glass.

18 put down his hand. "Fall and winter are the best times of year for snuggling up with someone."

He closed his eyes.  _So there are two whole seasons for lonely people?_

* * *

Vegeta paced around his room. It was the first week of September. Marron, Goten, and Trunks had returned to school. Krillin's house was much quieter than before.

 _An idle mind is the Devil's playground,_  he thought. If that was true, it was the perfect explanation for why he'd jacked off more times than he could count in the past week.

He put on his leather jacket. His moleskin was still in his breast pocket stuck to an old pack of cigarettes. "I'll go on a walk instead."

* * *

"What kind of comics are you interested in, Sir?"

It was a cool afternoon in late September. Vegeta stood at the counter of a local comic book shop. He tapped his finger against the glass display case. The pimply man attending to him shuttered every time Vegeta's fingernail made impact. "I want something good," Vegeta said.

"Okay. What do you like?"

"You know." Vegeta waved his hand in the air in dismissal. "Something that looks nice. And has an interesting story."

The pock-marked employee grinned. He pushed his glasses up his nose. "I think I know what you want." A wicked smile crossed his face. "Follow me."

Vegeta tailed him into a small room in the back of the shop. An acrid smell lingered in the air around them. The man struggled to bend down in front of a shelf; slowly he pulled a long, white box out from the very bottom. "Check  _these_  out." He lifted the lid off the box. He pulled a plastic-protected comic from the collection and handed it to Vegeta.

The Prince picked up the comic and held it between his fingers like it would burst into flame at any second. He squinted at the cover. "What is this?"

"Hentai. Specifically, volume one of Super Star Fuckers Supreme."

"Hen…tai?" Vegeta lifted the flap of the plastic protective cover, then pulled the comic out. He flipped through it, frowning. "This is straight up porn."

"Yup. Pretty good, right?"

He shoved it back into the man's hand. "I don't want this."

"Oh. So you like the  _other_ thing." He pushed the giant box back onto the shelf. A soft grunt escaped him. He reached for the second shelf from the bottom, and opened the box there. "Look at this one!" He passed a comic up to Vegeta.

Vegeta repeated the process as before, and flipped through the comic's pages. "What this hell? This is just men touching and having sex with each other."

"Yeah, it's yaoi."

Vegeta's scowl deepened. "What makes you think I want to read this? Do you think I'm some kind of pervert?"

"Whoa, dude." The man held his hands up in the air in defense. "I don't judge what comics you like. I just sell 'em. There's nothing wrong with liking a little man-on-man love."

Vegeta blushed. He flipped through the comic again. "Well the drawings  _are_ nice. But that doesn't mean I enjoy looking at this kind of thing!"

"Of course not."

"I don't just sit around and read filth all day!"

"Sure, Sir."

"I'll take the whole box." Vegeta returned the comic to its plastic case. "And don't get happy just yet. I plan on buying a lot more comics. Show me what you have that doesn't have sex in it."

The comic book store employee grinned.

* * *

One chilly night in October, Vegeta's phone buzzed. He answered. "Hello?"

"Yo, Vegeta," Yamcha said over the line. "Are you busy tonight?"

"No."

"Do you want to come over?"

"It's past midnight."

"So…?"

"No."

"Alrighty then." Yamcha hung up.

* * *

Later in October, Krillin came in from outside and interrupted breakfast with an announcement. "Hey, Goku sent us some mail!"

Loud, ringing alarm bells went off in Vegeta's brain.  _Kakarot! Did you send something for me? What is it? I have to know!_ "Oh, did he?" he said softly, feigning disinterest.

Across the dining room table, Android 18 smiled. She snatched the two parcels away from Krillin. "Looks like there's one for all of us, and a  _special_ one all for Vegeta. Way to show your favoritism, Goku."

Vegeta allowed himself a small smile. "Really?"

"Uh-huh." She placed Vegeta's package on the tablecloth next to her plate. "Let's open the family one first!"

Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead.  _I suppose I can wait a little bit longer…_

Once 18 tore the box open, Krillin and Marron dug into its contents like savage animals. Newspaper print covered in foreign lettering flew everywhere. "Aaah, there's chocolate!" Marron yelled.

"And lots of tea," Krillin added. He hauled a large aluminum tin container out of the box.

"Oooh," 18 cooed. She pulled out a canary-colored cap made of goose down. "This is gorgeous."

"I found a note at the bottom!" Marron said. She cleared her throat and read aloud the scrawl on the slip of paper. "Hey Guys—I miss you all. Please enjoy the box of goodies. Some are gifts from Boris and Anya. They say hello! Love, Goku."

"A man of few words," Krillin laughed. "Wow, check out these rad mittens!" He pulled a pair out of the box and twirled them around in his hands. "There's an engraving inside of them that says they're made of deerskin."

Marron unwrapped the foil from one of the giant balls of milk chocolate in the box. "Uncle Vegeta, open yours. I want to know what he sent you!" She stuffed the whole thing in her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut in joy.

 _FINALLY!_ Vegeta snatched his box up from the table. Carefully he untied the leather string wrapped around it. The heavy butcher paper wrapping unfolded to reveal a simple box. He opened it. "Oh, wow," he coughed, blushing.

"What is it?" Krillin asked.

"It's…nothing."

"Nothing at all? Liar!" 18 leaned across the table to steal a peek inside the box. "What did he send you?"

Vegeta pulled his gift to his chest, ear tips burning in embarrassment. "It's none of your business!"

"It's probably something romantic. Am I right?" Marron asked. She had that familiar glimmer in her eye. "Is there a love letter in there?"

"I'm going to my room," Vegeta announced. "I'll see you in your studio later, Marron." He stood up from the table and raced upstairs. Behind him 18 and Krillin snickered. Once inside the safety of his room he flew onto the bed and investigated the box's contents more closely.

Goku hadn't been a man of few words at all. At the very top inside the box sat a long letter spanning several pages. Goku's handwriting was large and bold. Vegeta could probably read the damn thing from ten feet away. He curled into the warmth of his bed and read silently to himself:

" _Dearest Vegeta—_

_This is the first letter I've written in my life. Lucky me, I get to write it to you!_

_I was careful choosing what to send you. Under this letter are chocolates. Don't give them to anyone else! I was told by a man the chocolate is an aphrodisiac. As soon as I found out what that meant, I knew I had to get them for you."_

Vegeta glanced inside the box again. Seven large aluminum foil wrapped balls of chocolate sat nestled together in a circle. He was unsure if Goku was trying to be cute by arranging them like dragon balls. They appeared similar to the chocolates Marron ate earlier, but instead the wrapping was a brilliant green color.  _Or does it look red to Kakarot?_

He ran his finger across the pieces of chocolate. Was this Goku's idea of a joke? He continued to read the letter:

" _Don't eat more than one at a time. I made that mistake. Make sure you're alone when you do it!"_

Without a second thought, Vegeta unwrapped one of the chocolates and popped the whole thing in his mouth. The hard shell broke easily between his teeth. Soft, creamy milk chocolate oozed across his tongue. Automatically his hand moved to grab another chocolate. Halfway through opening it he mentally chided himself.  _I'm such a fucking pig when it comes to sweets. But there's no use wasting perfectly good candy._ He stuffed the second chocolate into his mouth. The taste made him so happy, he hummed a cheerful tune under his breath. He flipped to the next page of the letter:

" _I love you so much. Every night before I go to sleep, I tell you I love you. I know you can't hear me. But I pretend you can. Will you promise to do the same for me?"_

Vegeta grunted. Had Goku always been this romantic, or did Vegeta bring it out of him? He read on:

" _I'm going to call you sometime in the spring. I miss the sound of your voice. I think a lot about how different sound, touch, taste, smell and sight are. I remember what your skin feels and tastes like. I could never forget your scent. Of course I remember what you look like. But I spend so much time underground I only hear the same sounds over and over again. It's hard remembering your voice in the noise. This is why I must speak to you again."_

Thank goodness Vegeta didn't read any of the letter downstairs in front of everyone. Under their scrutiny, he'd have to hide the pure joy on his face.

" _I think about you all the time. When I'm lucky I get to go above ground. I see so many things that remind me of you. I take pictures of all of them with Anya's old cameras. Below the chocolates are some of the photos I took. I wrote notes on the back of each one. I hope you like them._

_This is the end of my letter. I love you! I wish I had enough paper to write it a thousand times. I will write it until I reach the end of the page. I love you. I love you. I love you, Vegeta!"_

"Wow, he really went all out," Vegeta mumbled. The end of Goku's letter made his cheeks burn. He dug his hand into the box and retrieved a stack of polaroids. On top was a blurry photo of an icy mountain peak. The back of the photo read: " _Doesn't this mountain look like your hair?"_

Vegeta shook his head in shame. The goddamn mountain  _did_  look like the outline of his hair. He shuffled the stack of photographs, paying close attention to Goku's strange commentary for each one. On the back of one photo of an angry cat stuck in the snow, Goku went into detail about how much it reminded him of Vegeta when frustrated. There were several silly animal pictures that Goku claimed all reminded him of Vegeta.

But toward the bottom of the stack the tone of the photos changed. Ominous pictures of snow-covered castles, abandoned broken statues, and blinding white skies became more common. On the backs of each of them, Goku wrote about how lonely these things made him feel.

Vegeta felt guilty. Until he reached the last photo in the stack.

He dropped it on the bed, then covered his mouth. "Kakarot, you didn't!" Too shy to look at the picture again, he flipped it over to read the back:  _"I know you like seeing me like this. I had fun taking this picture. Don't show it to anyone else!"_

Vegeta hadn't noticed the raging hard-on in his pants until now. It poked up in his loose, cotton pants like an angry mast. Fingers shaking, he flipped the photo over again. It was a tad blurry and shot at an awkward angle, but clear enough for Vegeta to tell what was happening. Goku was sitting on a bed in his Super Saiyan form. He was winking and smiling up at the camera, completely nude. In his free hand he gripped his giant cock.

 _Oh man._  Was he really going to do this? Tap into his inner fifteen-year-old boy and jerk off to a photo? Where did Goku even take this picture?

It wasn't like anyone was around to judge him. This was what Goku  _wanted_  him to do, right? Throwing all caution to the wind, he pulled his pants down to his knees. "Mm…" When his fingers made contact with the tip of his head, he moaned loudly. A million nerve endings ignited at once.  _Goddamn chocolate._

"Hey!" Marron shouted outside his door. "Are you all set to head to the studio today?"

 _Fuck!_ "I'll be ready in a few minutes."

"Okay. I'll just wait outside the door." He heard her plop down on the carpet outside.

 _Goddammit!_ He looked down at his poor, throbbing dick. Sighing, he picked up the lewd photo of Goku and waddled his horny ass to the bathroom to take care of his problem.

* * *

One night around nine o'clock, Vegeta crept downstairs toward the kitchen. If he was stealthy, he could heat up a cup of hot chocolate without anyone noticing his presence. Even though it was only mid-October, the cold was nippy enough to draw him out of his room to procure hot drinks.

A small figure wearing a red hooded jacket opened the front door. Vegeta leaned over the stair railing to get a closer look. "Marron?"

She jumped two feet in the air. "Oh!"

He'd never seen her leave the house at night before. Around this time she was usually in her studio. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm meeting up with a friend." Her voice was shaky and uneven.

Vegeta tilted his head. "Who?"

"This girl I know…" She trailed off as if she intended to add a qualifier to the statement. But she kept her mouth shut.

"You never told me about her."

Marron blushed. "It never came up!"

 _Oh,_  he thought. "Okay. Have fun."

"Can you not tell Mom and Dad about this?"

"I won't."

* * *

By early November, Marron was amazed by Vegeta's progress.

Wide-eyed, she spun around in a circle in her studio. The Prince's bright paintings and lustrous illustrations covered every surface. Vegeta's favorite radio station played on her boom box. She didn't like hip hop music as much as he did. But having a constant, rhythmic beat as background noise while working was preferable to her usual silence. The music lifted her spirits as she continued to spin.

To her delight, she saw familiar images in all of Vegeta's art.

She spotted a tiny, but detailed oil painting of her father being gored by a horned, white lizard man. Toward the back of her studio she saw a giant canvas pinned to the wall depicting an elaborate painted comic. She recognized Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, and her father fighting small green alien men in all of the panels.

Goku appeared in a  _lot_  of Vegeta's work, too. Marron was surprised Vegeta trusted her to see some of the ways he'd represented his lover. None of the pictures were distasteful, but many were sexual in the way Earth's savior was depicted. On each surface Goku appeared on, he spoke something unintelligible in a drawn speech bubble.

She knew Vegeta's trust in her was contingent on her never asking about  _those_  pieces of art. "Vegeta, these are all so beautiful!"

He lay on his stomach on the floor. Beneath him was a large sheet of stock paper. Using a blunt piece of charcoal, he finished off a sketch of Majin Buu. "Thank you."

She stopped on her heel. Her dress continued to spin around her hips. "I can't read any of the text in the speech bubbles. Did you use a different language?"

"Yes."

"Which one?"

"It's what we spoke on Planet Vegeta."

"Did you make that decision because you don't want anyone understanding what you wrote?"

He dropped his charcoal. "…Yes."

"Why aren't  _you_  in anything you paint or draw?"

"I don't enjoy spending hours staring at myself."

Marron sat down cross-legged on the floor. She watched in awe as he continued to draw.

* * *

Vegeta hated zombie movies. Having been brought back to life himself, the films were incredibly droll in comparison to the real thing.

Marron and Krillin loved watching them. Even though Halloween was over, they insisted on watching some movie about a zombie virus overtaking the whole planet. Only a few human survivors were left to fend for themselves. He swore he'd seen the movie before.

During one scene in the film a man buried a grave for his recently-infected friend he murdered. "That's so creepy," Marron said. She shivered under her blanket on the couch.

Vegeta stared blankly at the television screen. "Kakarot dug me a grave once."

* * *

Vegeta heard him land before he spoke. "What the hell, Vegeta."

Slowly, Vegeta looked up from the comic book in his lap. On his bedroom windowsill sat Piccolo. Snowflakes floated down from the sky and landed on his shoulder pads in tiny mounds.

The Prince smiled. "To what do I owe this visit?"

"You said we'd spar. Then you never followed up."

Vegeta observed the white, snowy world outside. "You want to fight now?"

"Yes," Piccolo said.

Vegeta put his book down. "Excellent. Let's go."

* * *

The cold of winter didn't bode well for Vegeta's body.

One December morning in Marron's studio, he sneezed. He was in the middle of drawing a comic in his sketchbook, and the moisture stained the paper. "What the fuck?"

"Bless you!" Marron said. She didn't lift her head from the tiny sculpture she was absorbed in finishing.

"Did I just  _sneeze_?"

Marron quirked her brow. "Uh, yeah."

"I haven't done that since I was a child."

Marron laughed. "I don't believe that."

Vegeta was right to be concerned. By noon he couldn't stop himself from sneezing. An itch he couldn't scratch settled in his throat, which only gave him reprieve from his sneezing with a barrage of coughs. When he dragged himself across the patio inside for lunch, Android 18 gave him a disgusted look. "You're sick."

"I'm not." He wiped his nose on his sweater sleeve. "I've never been sick a day in my life." He left out how he'd been sick dozens of times from drug use and fraternizing with suspect alien species in the backwaters of the universe. He figured his time as a punk in his youth didn't count.

"You've already got one foot in the grave. Come here." She pressed her pale palm against his forehead. "You're burning up. You have a fever."

"I don't," he insisted. "In fact, it's freezing in here!" He doubled over and coughed.

"Gross. Go to bed or you're going to spread it!" Using only her fingertips, she pushed him toward the stairs.

The journey from the foot of the stairs to his bed was long and arduous. How could he have felt moderately okay when he woke up, then like absolute shit only hours later? The idea of losing control over his health frightened him.

After toeing his boots off, he crawled under his duvet. His skin was infinitely sensitive: the slide of the sheets against his skin felt like small pinpricks.

All the coughing and sneezing barred him from the relief of sleep. Instead, he slipped into a half-awake state of constant irritation.

"Vegeta?" His door opened. 18 walked in carrying a large tray. "How're ya?"

"Nnng."

She smiled. "You're cute when incapacitated." She sat down next to him on the bed. "I have some food here for you."

"Not hungry," he muttered into his pillow.

"That doesn't matter. Eat this soup."

Vegeta shimmied down further under the sheets. "Bite me."

"Vegeta, stop being an asshole.  _Eat_  this!"

He slid his hand out from beneath the covers. Slowly, he curled all his fingers into his fist. Except for his middle one.

"You're impossible," she groaned. Outside of the sweet safety of his bed, he heard her slam the tray down on his night table. "There's cold medicine here, too. It'll knock you right out. You should at least try to get some rest." She walked out of the room and slammed the door shut.

He listened to her footsteps in the hall fade away.  _What's her fucking problem?_  he thought. Quickly, he extended his claw out to grab the bottle of medicine beside the soup bowl. "Take one capful every four hours," he read on the back instructions. With one hand he popped the top off and chugged down half the liquid inside the bottle.

The itch in his throat softened. And the horrible sneezes from earlier were gone! Finally, he didn't feel sick anymore. No, he felt better than that…he felt  _really_  good. So good that he felt a curious warmth spread through all his limbs, easing away the frigid cold. Sleep overtook him.

A fever dream plagued his slumber. When he felt familiar arms cradle him, he woke up. "Vegeta, are you okay?"

His eyes were too heavy to lift all the way open. "Kaka?" he said. His tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Mmhm," Goku said. "How'd you get so sick?"

Vegeta mumbled something incoherent. Goku laughed. "Were you supposed to eat the food left in your room? It was cold."

Drunk on medicine, he mumbled some nonsense. Although his arms moved like dead weight in water, he managed to lift a hand up to touch Goku's face.

"I hope you're not mad at me for seeing you again," Goku said.

Vegeta raised his brows. Goku was blurry in his vision. "Can't be mad," he muttered. "Love you."

Goku pressed his nose against Vegeta's. "You're covered in sweat. Let me clean you up!" He lifted Vegeta out of bed. His large, warm hands peeled off the smaller Saiyan's sweater and pants. Vegeta didn't recognize the bed he was on. Why were the sheets a different color? An eternity later, he felt himself become submerged in a tub of water.

There was no tub in his guest bathroom. So where could he possibly be?

"I'm going to wash your clothes. I'll be back in a minute," Goku said.

The bathwater was tepid and nice. Vegeta sunk lower in the water…so low that his mouth and nose submerged, and his head tipped forward.  _I'm so sleepy…_

"VEGETA!" Goku tugged on his hair and lifted him back up above surface. "You almost drowned!"

Vegeta coughed up a mouthful of water. "Thanks," he slurred.

"Are you on drugs or something?"

"Yes."

Goku's displeasure at the new information was written all over his face. But he didn't say another word about it. "You can relax now. I'll take care of you."

Warm water and warm hands cleansed the film of sweat from Vegeta's body. Gentle fingers massaged his scalp. He closed his eyes to focus on every tender sensation. Over time, Goku burst into a quiet fit of giggles that slowly rose in volume.

"Why are you…?" Vegeta trailed off. He said enough for Goku to understand.

"It's just funny," Goku said. "The first time I gave you a bath, I really scared you. But this time you're enjoying yourself. It makes me happy."

The sugar-sweet taste of the medicine Vegeta downed earlier still lingered in his mouth. When he spoke again, it was hard to move his sticky tongue around. "I think," he said slowly, making sure every word was clear, "even then I was starting to fall for you."

"You don't have to say that for my sake, 'Geta."

Vegeta opened his eyes. He slid his head backwards in the tub. Even while looking at him upside-down, Goku was blurry. "I think I always loved you. In some way."

Goku didn't respond for a long time. He pulled Vegeta out of the tub and wrapped him in a thin towel. "Let's get you back to bed, Veggie!" Goku's voice was cracking.  _Why? Did I say something to upset him?_

Goku dressed him in the sweater and pants he wore earlier. The soapy smell of the freshly washed clothes comforted him. Once in bed, he rolled over to fall back to sleep. Goku tugged on his shoulder.

"Nu-uh. You gotta eat first." Goku rustled around on the night table beside the bed. "I could feel you getting sick, you know. I can sense when people are about to die, so I guess what I felt for you isn't too different from that."

Vegeta stretched his arms and legs out across the bed. "Will you sleep with me?"

"I don't think you'd like that once you woke up feeling better later. Now open up!"

Obedient, Vegeta opened his mouth and allowed Goku to spoon-feed him the broth. The flavor danced on his tongue. "This is soup?"

"Yep." In his foggy haze, he could see Goku smiling. "Boris said it can cure any cold. He made you some."

"I miss you." Vegeta said. He gulped down another spoonful of soup. The lingering flavor of potatoes and carrots ignited his taste buds. The good food and heavy medicine loosened his tongue. "I think about you all the time too."

Goku nuzzled his head against Vegeta's. "I'm glad you feel the same way as me."

"You took a good picture."

Goku angled his head away from him. "Huh?"

"In your package," Vegeta breathed out. "That last photo of you on the bed. It was a nice picture."

Goku laughed. "Oh, Vegeta! That was a joke. I thought it'd make you laugh."

"I jerked off to it twice."

Goku's eyes widened. "Wow. Really?" Goku blushed while feeding Vegeta more soup. "Huh."

The seductive call of sleep tugged Vegeta in and out of the world of the conscious. In a desperate attempt to keep hold of reality, he touched Goku's face. "Kakarot, don't leave."

"I don't think you'd say that if you were healthy," Goku said, laughing.

Vegeta closed his eyes. Goku left a trail of kisses all over his warm face. His head lolled over onto the pillow. He fell asleep.

The next morning, he awoke in darkness. His fever was gone, along with the soreness in his throat. Blindly, he roamed his hand around his bed. No Goku. He sniffed the air. Goku's scent wasn't there either. On his night table sat the same uneaten bowl of soup Android 18 left him, along with the bottle of medicine.

* * *

In the middle of a silent night in December, a man knocked on Krillin's front door. No one else was home. Vegeta answered, suspicious as to why a stranger would bother them so late. "What is it?" he asked.

"Do you know who Son Goku is?" The man asked. Black hair cascaded down his shoulders. His long bangs hid his eyes. He wore a bulking gray parka and earmuffs too big for his head. Vegeta looked down and saw a dirty, red bloodstain on his chest.

"Of course I know him. He's my  _husband_ ," Vegeta said. The words came from his mouth with the same urgency as oozing molasses. When the man stared back at him with unmoving lips, he grabbed the lapels of his jacket. "What? Did something happen to him?"

"He died in an accident. Buried underneath a mile of rubble."

Vegeta let go of him. "Oh."

"You have my condolences." The man nodded, and walked backwards off the doorstep. He disappeared into the snowy night.

Vegeta gasped. He awoke with a jolt. Sweat covered his face. Hail knocked against his bedroom window.

If Goku died, would he even know? Occasionally, if he tried hard enough, he could sense a glimmer of Goku's energy somewhere far away on the opposite side of the planet. But unlike his friends, Goku usually kept his ki well hidden. Especially during the past few months.

He shut his eyes, praying he wouldn't dream again for the rest of the night. "Kakarot, can you hear me?" he murmured. "I love you too."

* * *

"Look, everyone! I made cookies for the New Year!" Marron carried a huge, steaming baking sheet into the living room. "I made all kinds, too! Sugar, chocolate, oatmeal…"

Android 18 held a finger in the air. "Marron, we're watching something important!" She and Vegeta sat on the edge of the couch with their eyes glued to the television.

Marron huffed. She set the tray down on the coffee table in front of them both. "At least try them."

18 and Vegeta blindly picked up several cookies from the tray and stuffed them into their mouths. "These are great," 18 said, still enraptured by the TV show.

"Hey, is that—?" Marron snapped her fingers, trying to spark her recollection. "The Announcer guy? From the Tenkaichi Budokai?"

"Yep! He's cute, right?" 18 winked at Marron over her shoulder.

"I heard that!" Krillin yelled from the kitchen.

Marron sat on the couch beside Vegeta. "What's he doing on TV?"

"He has a new talk show. All kinds of weirdos show up. Like  _this_ lady," 18 said.

On the television set, a young woman was sobbing. "My fetish rules my life. I think about him day and night. I think about him when I have sex with my husband. I even dream about him!"

Next to her sat the Announcer. Somberly, he pat her hand. "That's terrible!" he said at a half-yell.

Vegeta and 18 exchanged glances. They laughed at the same time. "He uses the same voice as for the tournament!" Vegeta said.

"I know I should be ashamed, but…" The woman stared into the camera. "I just can't stop my lust for King Piccolo! His death was the worst day of my life as a teenager!"

18 screamed. "This is  _golden!_ Krillin, you have to come in here and see this!"

Krillin rushed into the room. "This better not be some trashy talk show where the guests start beating each other up."

"It's better than that. Look." 18 pointed at the crying woman on stage. "She's in love with Piccolo!"

"Someone should tell him he has an admirer," Vegeta chuckled. He reclined back on the couch. He licked his lips.  _Huh. That's weird_. He ran his tongue over his teeth and gums. "Marron, what kind of cookies did you make?"

"I  _said_  I made sugar, chocolate, oatmeal, and peanut butter cookies!"

Vegeta covered his mouth. "Peanut butter?"

On TV, the Announcer smiled. "Ma'am, this show's going to do you a favor. We're going to find Piccolo and bring him to this studio so you two can meet!"

Krillin doubled over. "No way!"

While everyone burst into laughter, Marron noticed Vegeta was unusually silent. She touched his shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you asleep…?" She jumped back. "Mom. Dad."

The woman on TV gasped. "Piccolo's still alive?! Oh thank God!"

Krillin and 18 whooped and hollered. Krillin pounded his fist on the arm of the couch. Marron stood up. "Mom! Dad! Uncle Vegeta isn't moving!"

18 recovered faster than Krillin. She shook Vegeta violently. His chin drooped down to his chest.

"Oh, crap."

* * *

Halfway across the world miles underground, Goku jolted awake. He blinked in the pitch darkness. It took a few seconds for his mind to stop reeling and catch up with his emotions. "Boris," he spoke.

"Goku," Boris said groggily. In the tunnel the older man was curled inside a cot beside him. "Is something wrong?"

"I have to go. I think my boyfriend just…died or something." He pressed his fingers to his head.

* * *

"I didn't mean to kill him with my cooking!" Marron had rolled Vegeta onto his stomach on the floor. She cradled his head in her arms. "I swear I didn't mean it. I never knew I was that bad!"

Krillin stared down at his phone. "An ambulance is on the way here. But I can probably get him to an emergency room faster than—"

Goku appeared in the middle of the living room. Android 18 screeched and fell backwards on the couch. "What the hell, Goku!"

"What happened?!" Goku sped over to Vegeta's body, immediately pressing his hand on his back.

"Calm down. He's still breathing," 18 said.

Marron cried. "He passed out after he ate one of my cookies!"

Goku's dire expression lifted from his face. "Cookies?" He looked over at the tray sitting nearby. "Ooh. Do they have peanuts in them? He's allergic."

Krillin jumped in the air. "I've got an EpiPen!" He ran into the kitchen and flung open the junk drawer. Old receipts rained down to the floor as he flung them behind his shoulder. "Got it!" He ran back into the living room. "Stand back everyone!"

Goku fell backwards onto his butt. Krillin plunged the pen straight into Vegeta's right asscheek. Seconds later, Vegeta gasped deeply as if new life breathed into him.

"You're supposed to put it in his  _hip_ Krillin! His  _hip_!" 18 yelled.

"FUCK!" Vegeta screamed and thrashed against the floor. His eyes fluttered, then shut again. "What the hell did you just do!"

"Heh. Sorry!" Krillin laughed nervously.

"You're alive!" Marron hugged his limp body.

Vegeta buried his face in the carpet. "Mother…fucking… _ **cocksucker**_!"

"Poor Vegeta." Goku massaged Vegeta at the site of the injection. "You can barely keep yourself alive without me around." He smiled. "Don't tell me you keep getting hurt so I'll come back sooner!"

"Kakarot—wait!" Vegeta clawed in the air toward Goku. But by the time he got the two words out, Goku was gone.

18 rolled her eyes. "Are you serious? You almost died because of a  _cookie_?"

"It's all my fault. I'm so sorry!" Marron wiped a tear from her eye.

"I'm…perfectly fine." Vegeta's chest heaved. "Thank you, Krillin."

A loud siren wailed outside the front door. "Looks like your friends are here, Vegeta!" Krillin said in a sing-song voice.

* * *

On a snowy day in January, Vegeta decided he loved Pan. He didn't like children, but he loved her.

She was a bouncy, energetic baby that giggled at everything. Her hair was thick and bushy like lamb's wool. She had bright, wide eyes that fearlessly took in the world around her. Sometimes Gohan and Videl offered him the privilege of taking care of her. All by himself.

That afternoon he bundled her up in small fleece sweaters and blankets until she was an unrecognizable lump, save for her bright face peering out between all the layers. He took her to a quiet park on the outskirts of town. She was so happy to be with him, even though she couldn't see a lick of the world around them.

"Do you think," he asked, holding her high in the air, "that if Kakarot and I had a child, she'd be like you?"

Pan grinned down at him. "Kaka!" she yelled.

"So you think she'd be like Kakarot. Or are you saying I'd have a son instead?"

She squirmed in his grasp. He pulled her back to his chest. "You're just like him. You both smile all the time. Why is that?"

Instead of replying, Pan buried her face in his jacket.

Vegeta rocked her gently. "Don't tell anyone. But one day I wouldn't mind having a child that smiled all the time like you."


	18. Part Eighteen Springs into Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Jesus in heaven. This is a looong chapter. I'd apologize, except it was a lot of fun to write. I hope every moment makes the last scene worth it.

"Marron, where are you going?" Vegeta caught her leaving the house late at night again. She stood still in the open front door. One of her snow boots was already knee-deep in the pile of fresh January snow outside.

Her eyes narrowed. "Just goin' on a walk! Nothing special!"

"Why are you wearing gardening gloves?"

"Because it's cold outside," she said curtly.

"Are you going to go  _gardening_  in the snow?"

"N-no."

"Then why are you wearing gardening _gloves_?"

"They're warm."

He smiled. "What kind of trouble are you about to get into?"

"No trouble! I'm just going outside to enjoy my youth. Is that so wrong?"

"May I come along?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'll see you later, Uncle." She slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Goku's first six months away from Vegeta sucked. Hardcore.

When he thought back on what little he'd accomplished in a half year's time, it filled him with frustration.

Traveling underground pissed him off. Anya and Boris brought plenty of small firearms and machine guns for all of the prisoners, despite his protests. The weight of the weapons slowed down their small army so much that on a good day, they traveled more than a mile. Goku figured it'd take a hundred years before they reached the capitol city.

None of his plans to expedite their journey worked.

He tried carrying everyone's belongings on his back, but no one could keep up with his fast pace. He offered to teach everyone rudimentary martial arts to strengthen their stamina. Secretly he also wanted a reason to get rid of the guns. But besides Boris and Anya, everyone was too weak to make the time training worth the effort.

At his wits' end, he offered to carry everyone one-by-one to the end of the tunnel, but Boris vehemently disagreed with that strategy. "The men can't be separated," he insisted. Goku asked why. All Boris said was that it'd be too dangerous to be divided unless absolutely necessary.

So all summer, Goku made traveling above ground a necessity for himself. It was his only chance at reigning in his sanity.

Of course, he did the noble thing and retrieved food for his comrades every time he abandoned them. He'd instant transmit himself to Korin's Tower and gather as many senzu beans the cat had available. One bean kept everyone full for ten days, much to Goku's relief. Too bad the beans could only bring everyone back to their normal state of health—which was still unfit for traveling a thousand mile journey.

To spoil himself while in the normal world, Goku did things he couldn't enjoy under Boris' watchful eye. Like practice katas in the winter storm. Or simply go running. He wasn't given much time to himself, but what time he did have was precious.

A lot of his time was spent doing things for Vegeta. He'd promised himself to send the Prince a package before winter. Unbeknown to Boris, Anya offered Goku to take anything from her home as a gift if he so wished. She was empathetic toward Goku's heartsickness. Boris was not.

Originally Goku balked at the offer. But at the end of the summer, he walked through the raging snowstorm just to retrieve an old polaroid camera Anya mentioned was in her bedroom. After he found it, he traipsed another few hundred miles and discovered small villages outside of the storm's range. He took pictures of anything that reminded him of the Saiyan Prince. Which was everything.

The biggest village—populated by a whopping 20 people—actually had a shop that sold a variety of chocolates. After Goku bought enough to fill his knapsack to the brim, the shopkeeper showed him the  _amorous_ chocolates. He bought seven for Vegeta and seven for himself. It'd been so long since he ate real food, he wolfed down all his chocolates at the same time.

Five hours. It took five painful, torturous hours for the "effects" of the chocolate to wear off. When he returned underground, Boris gave him a tongue-lashing only rivaled by Chi-chi's. It was warranted, but Goku hated he couldn't explain his  _real_  reason for being so late!

One day in October, he tested his luck again and sneaked above ground while all the prisoners were asleep. He decided to be naughty. He ran to Anya's cabin and took naked pictures of himself with the camera. It was freezing cold with his clothes off. But he knew Vegeta would get a kick out of it if he snapped a good picture of himself.

Later he rummaged through Anya's drawers until he found gifts he thought Krillin's family would enjoy. Once everything was collected, he sat at Anya's davenport and penned a letter to Vegeta.

Writing the damn thing made him so sad, he almost hand-delivered it to the Prince himself. He just wanted to see him again. What could Vegeta do in the course of a year to change? And if he did change, did it mean his feelings for Goku would change as well?

But Goku knew if he showed up unexpected, Vegeta would throw a hissy fit. So he transmitted himself outside of Krillin's house and shoved his two wrapped packages in the mailbox. Even in that moment he could sense Vegeta's energy emanating from the second story bedroom.

When December came and Vegeta fell ill, he felt it. Even miles underground. So he went to Krillin's house to check up on things. Vegeta had a ghastly fever. It took Goku a long time to make the decision, but he transported Vegeta back to the underground tunnel across the world.

When he arrived, Boris looked appalled. "Who is this?"

"This is my Vegeta," Goku said, as if that explained everything. Most of Vegeta's body was swathed in a blanket.

"Why did you bring him  _here_ , boy?!" Boris peered closer at Vegeta's sleeping face. "Is he sick?"

"Yeah. He's burning up."

"Can't you give him one of the beans?" Anya asked.

"They don't help with ailments like the cold or flu."  _Or heart viruses,_ Goku thought bitterly.

Anya pressed her cool palm against Vegeta's forehead. "I bet Boris' soup could fix this. We have some saved in mason jars in our kitchen. Heat it up and it's good to go."

Even in the cold tunnel, Goku noticed Vegeta was sweating. "Okay. I'll be right back!" He powered up, and flew back toward the prison camp.

Unfortunately, he couldn't transmit them to Anya's shed without locking onto a ki signature. Once through the exit doors at the abandoned prison, Goku blasted through the snowy air. He raised his energy once more to envelop them both in a cocoon of heat.

When he arrived at the empty shack, he lit a raging fire and placed Vegeta in Anya's bed. Goku nestled beside Vegeta for an hour before he finally woke up.

"Kaka?" Vegeta asked him. He could barely keep his eyes open.

It'd been so long since Goku smiled, his chapped lips cracked. He'd missed Vegeta's voice so much!

He bathed Vegeta, then fed him with the soup stashed away in the kitchen cupboard. Goku lied and said Boris made it for him. It was close enough to the truth.

Vegeta was high on whatever medicine Android 18 gave him, which frustrated Goku. It made Vegeta mumble nonsensical things he'd never say under normal circumstances. Like how he'd loved Goku ever since they first met years ago.

After eating all the soup, Vegeta's fever broke and he fell asleep. Goku returned him back to Krillin's house without as much as a goodbye.

The experience broke his heart. Every night since taking care of Vegeta, he dreamed about him falling ill again. And every time the dream ended the same way: Goku would come running to save him, but was always a few seconds too late.

Weeks passed. For Goku, New Years was just like any other day. Before going to bed, he wondered if Vegeta was celebrating with Krillin's family. The thought of Vegeta smiling and laughing with them was strange. Knowing Vegeta, he was probably holed up in his room. Or out training.

An hour into his sleep, he awoke in a horrible fright. Vegeta was on the brink of death.

This time he didn't care if anyone saw him. He arrived smackdab in Krillin's living room and discovered Vegeta sprawled face down on the floor.

All his thoughts in that moment were surprisingly lucid. Before then, he'd never contemplated what he'd do if Vegeta died. Chi-Chi's death had filled him with harrowing loneliness. But if Vegeta was to leave him too…

Marron's crying interrupted the nightmare scenario in his head. "He passed out after he ate one of my cookies!"

Goku felt so relieved, he wanted to cry himself.  _The peanut allergy!_ Krillin saved the day by injecting the Prince with some kind of medicine. Vegeta gained consciousness again.

He used all the restraint in the world to avoid pulling Vegeta into his arms and never letting go. He'd dreamed of this moment too many times. Nevertheless, fate had allowed him to intervene just in time.

But there were over fifty people waiting and depending on him on the other side of the world. So he left Vegeta immediately.

Later that night he didn't bother attempting to fall asleep again. So much for a happy New Year.

* * *

On a gloomy morning in February, Trunks and Goten decided for the first time to grace everyone at breakfast with their presence.

"You two sure have been spending a lot of time together," Krillin said while piling his plate with scrambled eggs.

"Yep!" Goten shoved a short stack of pancakes into his mouth. "After school we're gonna spend even more time together. It's Valentine's Day!"

Vegeta's head throbbed. "I'll be damned. Is it really?"

"Yes!" Goten smiled at Trunks. "You have a lot planned later, right?"

Trunks peered at Goten over the rim of his coffee mug. "I do?!"

Marron sighed. Only Vegeta and Android 18 glanced at her to acknowledge the cry for help. Dramatic teenage sighs were all too familiar to Vegeta, and he assumed the same went for 18. "I don't have anyone to spend the holiday with," Marron admitted.

"You shouldn't be sad about  _that_ , Marron." Krillin squeezed her into a side hug with his left arm. "I can take you out tonight if you want!"

She slumped backwards into her chair. "Dad…It's not the same."

"You have all the time in the world to date boys. Be happy you're young and single." Krillin nodded his head at his own sagely advice.

"Boys. Right.  _Ugh_." Marron lowered her head onto the table and groaned. "I'd rather throw up than go out with a  _boy_."

"That's the spirit!" Krillin raised a forkful of eggs into the air.

18 and Vegeta exchanged knowing glances. Vegeta cleared his throat. "I'm going to spend Valentine's Day alone too."

"Aurg. That's even worse!" Marron fisted her blond hair.

The vein in Vegeta's forehead nearly burst. "Not everyone here is married or in a relationship where they know their boyfriend hasn't been crushed to death yet. If you're going to be sad today, I  _insist_ you let me be sad with you!" He stabbed the food on his plate with a fork. "So hurry up, go to school, then come back home so we can watch some shitty movie while I stuff my face with whatever chocolate I can scrounge from around this house!"

Marron stared at him. "Whoa. I—"

"It has be an awful movie, too. I'll even invite Piccolo over so he can join in on the misery. You're not allowed to be sad until you come home to me. Is that clear?"

Marron's face glowed. "Okay."

Vegeta tried his best to ignore the proud grin on 18's face.

* * *

_How would Kakarot find a needle in a haystack?_

In the middle of March, Vegeta flew to the forest near Goku's house. Even in the daytime, the forest floor was dim. Thick tree canopies blotted out most of the sunlight.

How the hell was he going to find one lost ring, let alone two?

Last year when he broke up with Goku he'd flung the damn things miles away. So they couldn't be near the outskirts of the forest.

Unless some stupid animal dragged them away to bury in their hovel. Or maybe both rings washed away in the rain. Perhaps they were buried under some random mound of dirt he'd never find.

The wind whistling through the trees taunted him. The gust was strong enough to fight against his every step on the forest path.

Using his eyes to find the rings was a no-go. He couldn't  _hear_ them, of course. Nor touch or taste them.  _What about smelling for them?_

He never felt more stupid in his life after leaning forward and sniffing the air. What was he supposed to be smelling for anyway? His own scent? Goku's? His sense of smell had never been as heightened as the third-class'.

_Yes. There!_

When he focused, he could smell the distant, but distinct odor of gold. It wasn't strong; it wafted from a direction at least a mile west from where he stood. The smell was conspicuous among the natural aromas of pine needles, mud, animal waste, and water.

He ran. A few minutes later, he reached a clearing. Dividing the area in half was a narrow, bubbling brook. Nestled between two rocks sat the gold ring Goku gave him on their date.

"I can't believe it," he whispered. He picked the ring up. It glistened in the sunlight peeping through the tree branches. Before, he hadn't noticed the high quality of the band of solid gold. It weighed heavy in his palm, as if the meaning it held added to its physical presence.

What should've been an impossible discovery filled him with delight. Goku would be proud of him for sniffing out the lost ring like a bloodhound.

 _As much as I like this one…where's the other?_  The ring Goku had hand-crafted by Marron looked spectacular on his hand. And  _his_  dumb ass had thrown it away like trash.

He pocked the gold ring, then smelled the air around him again. Nothing else in all the aromas lingering in the forest was out of the ordinary. Marron's ring was lost forever.

* * *

It was the last day of March. Goku never called him.

At first, Vegeta was understanding. He had no clue what sort of trouble Goku was getting himself into with his new 'friends'. Perhaps the man couldn't even get to a phone. When he really thought about it, there had to be a logical reason he didn't hear a peep from Goku since his peanut butter cookie gaffe.

The longer Vegeta let his loneliness stew in his mind, the angrier he became. Didn't he deserve the effort of one phone call? Or another measly letter? Goku had been the one pushing for contact during their year apart in the first place!

His anger ebbed away and was replaced with fear. Maybe Goku was dead. Should he go looking for him? He wouldn't even know where to begin his search.

* * *

At the end of March, Goku spoke with Boris. "I'm going to the city by myself."

Boris huffed. "By yourself? Absolutely not."

Behind them, all the prisoners dragged their gear and weapons. Everyone carried small lanterns so they could see at least their own two feet in the pitch darkness. Goku groaned at the pathetic display. "Why not? At least I can check out what's happening on the other end!"

In the dim light he watched Boris' face twist into a scowl. "Son Goku." He placed his hand on Goku's shoulder. "Please try to be patient. I don't want you getting hurt if we split apart."

Goku sputtered. "I can take care of myself!" Boris' short chain on his freedom drove him insane. And Goku had managed to stay alive well before they ever met!  _Well, sorta…_

"I'm serious," Boris said. "The closer we get to the city, the more dangerous this trip will become."

"All the more reason to check it out before we get there. I'll be back!" Goku dashed forward in the tunnel. Boris and Anya cried out after him.

Goku smiled. It was great to run again!

…But the farther he sprinted, the more the overbearing silence spooked him. The pitter-patter of his own feet didn't sound as loud as before. It was like the silence was swallowing him whole. He broke his stride to transition into a light jog.  _Great, now I can't hear myself at all._

The flame in his gas lantern flickered.  _Aw, screw this. I'm not going to stand here and get freaked out over nothing!_  In the darkness he extended his hand and sent a ki blast flying forward in the darkness. The entire tunnel burst into bright orange light.  _Much better!_  He poised himself to follow his self-made beacon.  _Easy as cake!_

… _Wait a sec…_

The bright light revealed a crouching figure only a few feet ahead of him. In fright, Goku tumbled backwards. His lantern fell to the ground and smashed into pieces. The ki blast escaped him at rapid speed; eventually it disappeared and left him shrouded in pitch darkness.

"Eeeek!" Goku crawled backwards on his hands and knees.  _What the hell was that?! I don't sense anyone else's energy in the tunnel!_

The figure slinked toward him. Instinctively Goku held up his hand in preparation for another ki blast. "Show yourself!"

The creature stopped in its tracks. It coughed a few times.

Goku squinted his eyes. "Vegeta, is that you?"

The dark figure stepped closer. "Kakarot?"

Goku inched closer. "How the hell did you get down here?" He ran toward Vegeta and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Are you okay?" Vegeta sported nothing but a light winter jacket. He had to be freezing.

"I'm fine." Vegeta's body was limp in Goku's embrace. "I found you by searching for your energy."

"Wow. That's incredible!" Goku cradled Vegeta's face in his gloved hands. He pulled him closer to press their lips together. "Ah, I missed you—"

Vegeta flinched. "Don't."

"What's wrong?"

The Prince rubbed his arm. "I came here to tell you something important."

Goku raised a brow. "I'm all ears."

"I've lost interest in you." He stared up into Goku's dusty face. "I thought about it a lot while you were gone. We're better off as friends."

Goku released Vegeta from the hug. His feet reacted faster than his brain, and walked him backwards into the dirt wall. "W—what do you mean? Better off as friends?"

"Kakarot." Vegeta scratched the side of his head. "We both know this thing isn't going to work out in the long term."

"We do? I don't remember having that conversation the last time I saw you!" Goku felt…frightened? This wasn't supposed to be happening. Especially not in  _this_  place.

"Come off it. It was fun while it lasted. But we've been through too much together to have a relationship like this." Vegeta looked up at him with a sad smile on his face. "Why do you think I wanted a whole year away from you? I needed space to think about all of this."

Goku bit his lip. "I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Because I know you say a lot of things you don't mean."

Vegeta shook his head. "We're rivals. And friends. But we're not cut out to be lovers. We gave it a good shot, but it just wasn't meant to work out."

"Stop  _saying_  that!" Goku clenched his fists.  _Something's wrong._

Vegeta cackled. "Why are you holding onto a dead relationship, Kakarot?" He winked. "I'll tell you what. We can do it one last time. Right here in this cave. I'll even let you be on top."

"Wow." Goku frowned. "For a second there, I almost believed you were him."

"What—?!"

Goku punched Vegeta square in the jaw. The Prince flew backwards and collided into the opposite side of the tunnel. The earth around them shook. Dust swirled. A few seconds passed, and Vegeta was gone.

"Ugh," Goku growled. "I wonder where—" To his right, Vegeta appeared out of thin air. He opened his mouth and clamped his fangs down into Goku' neck. "AHH!"

"Die, human scum!" Vegeta bit down harder into Goku's flesh, and sucked on his blood.

"ARG!" Goku clawed at Vegeta's face. "Get offa meee!"

 _BANG!_ A brilliant flash of light filled the cave. Vegeta screamed, then slumped to his knees. A gaping, sizzling hole was in his forehead.

Goku spun around. Boris stood a few feet away holding a small handgun. Thin, wispy trails of smoke wafted from the tip. " _That_ ," Boris said, "is why the rest of us need guns."

Goku screamed at Vegeta's limp body. "What  _is_  that thing?!"

"A vampire." Boris kept his distance from Goku. "Do you feel any different than before?"

Goku rubbed the bite mark on his neck. Thick blood gushed from the wound. "Ugh. It hurts, but otherwise I'm fine." He dug around in his pack, found a senzu bean, and popped it into his mouth. Moments later the wound closed and left behind only dry blood as evidence.

Boris lined his gun up with Goku's chest. "Normally if you get bitten, you turn. Immediately."

Goku stared at the tip of the gun.  _Uh, is he going to shoot_ me _now?_ "Turn? What do you mean?"

"You change into one of  _them,_ " he said, motioning his gun toward the body on the ground. An uncomfortable silence sat between them. "Maybe you haven't turned yet because you're not…ehm…normal."

Goku smiled. "Yeah, I'm not a human."

Boris exhaled in relief. "I figured." He grabbed Goku's hand and pulled him away from the vampire. "I know you're stronger than me, but I've lived much longer. I know a thing or two about this part of the world."

Goku laughed nervously. Was Boris seriously about to shoot him at point-blank range?!

He turned his attention back to Vampire Vegeta, who was currently convulsing on the ground.  _Great, now I'll have the image of Vegeta getting shot burned into my memory for the rest of my life._ "Did you…kill him?" he asked.

"No. They're immortal. He'll be fully healed again soon enough." Boris crept over to Vampire Vegeta and pressed the bottom of his boot flush against his cheek. "I should crush his skull before he wakes up. I bet he'd have trouble healing a wound like  _that_."

"NO!" Goku shoved Boris away. The older man's eyes widened at the defiance. Goku placed a protective hand over the vampire's chest. "You can't shoot him again! It's cruel!"

"Goku, don't be a fool. That's  _not_  your lover. These horrible creatures invade your mind and take form of people you know to lure you into a death trap!"

"Well…maybe he didn't mean to do it!"

Boris rubbed his hand over his face. "Your heart is too soft for a warrior."

"Yeah, I've been told." He watched as the bloody hole in the vampire's head slowly sealed itself. "Aw, he's so cute! I'm going to keep him."

"Goku, you'll endanger everyone else!"

"Don't worry, I'll make him behave." Goku grinned at his new friend.  _I'm so excited to get to know you!_ "I have to ask…what's a vampire doing here? I just made the tunnel six months ago."

"It had to have come from the other end." Boris sighed. "So much for an ambush, eh?" He slid down to the ground. Goku had never seen him look so tired before, even when they were imprisoned together. "Ever since we began our journey, I had a horrible feeling about this place."

"What do you mean?"

"The closer we get to the city, the stronger I feel the presence of evil spirits around us." He grasped his hands together. "Please—do not leave us again, Son Goku. And never go down this tunnel alone."

"Uh, I don't think that's going to be a problem anymore."

"Thank you."

Goku shuddered at a sudden thought. "You don't think the whole city is…full of vampires, do you?!"

"I don't want to lie to make you feel better." Boris cracked his knuckles. "But vampires in this part of the world usually don't travel alone. Wherever this one came from, there's bound to be more." He glared at Vampire Vegeta. "Whatever we see at the end of this tunnel won't be pretty."

"Dammit!" Goku planted his hands on his hips. "I have a feeling the longer we wait, the worse this is going to get."

"Come. Let's head back to the others." Boris held up his lantern to his weathered face. "More vampires will come once they learn we've taken their comrade."

* * *

"Oh. My. God." Android 18 ran out onto the patio. It was a cool afternoon in April. In the grass, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Marron sat playing a game of spades. 18 stood before them with her fists raised in excitement. "You're not going to believe who just showed up at the front door!"

Vegeta arched his brow. "Why are you so excited?"

"Okay, I won't waste time letting you all guess. It's the Announcer guy! From the tournament! And TV!" She jumped up and down. "Oh my God. Vegeta, you're going to  _die_  once you find out who's with him."

"Oh? Will I?"

"Yes. YES!" 18 danced in a circle. "I can't believe it! He has a baby with him!"

"A baby? What's so exciting about that?" Vegeta was weirded out by 18's behavior. He'd never seen her  _giddy_ before. He wasn't sure if he liked it. Whatever tickled  _her_  would certainly be horrifying from his perspective.

"He's talking to Krillin in the living room now. As soon as I saw his kid, I knew who Mommy had to be." She grinned at Vegeta. "Don't you want to know  _who_  that someone is?"

He shrugged. "Not really. No."

18 slumped her shoulders. The glass patio doors slid open behind her. "Hey, guys!" a man yelled.

All four of them turned their heads at the voice. The Announcer walked out onto the lawn. Vegeta noticed two things: firstly, the man had shaved that horrendous mustache off his face. He looked years younger. And less like one of those creeps you see on  _How to Catch a Predator_. Secondly, he noticed the baby cradled in the man's arms.

All the blood rushed from Vegeta's head. He extended a hand on the soft ground to steady himself. The baby had bright blue hair tied into a high ponytail.

Everyone  _knew_ the moment they saw her. Almost telepathically, everyone connected the dots in their heads and looked at Vegeta at the exact same moment.

For five seconds of his existence, he sincerely believed he had sex with Bulma all those months ago and knocked her up with another child. "Is that  _your_  kid?" he asked dumbly.

"Oh. Yeah. This is Bra. Say hello to everyone, Bra!"

The baby gurgled. Everyone's jaws dropped.

"Who's the mother?" Vegetahad to know. Even  _if_  every fiber of his being was screaming, 'Let sleeping dogs lie.'

"Ahh…her mom…" The Announcer appeared befuddled at the question. Even though he was wearing those ridiculous sunglasses, Vegeta could feel his eyes on him. Not only did they both know the last time they met were under horrific circumstances at the Tenkaichi Budokai, they both knew the answer to Vegeta's stupid inquiry.

"Yeah. Who's Mommy?" 18 blurted out in a half-laugh.

The Announcer coughed out his answer. "Bulma Briefs."

Marron shrieked. Piccolo collapsed into the grass. 18 cackled. And Vegeta…didn't do anything at all. "Oh," was all he could muster to reply with.

The Announcer burst into a loud, nervous laugh. "Uuh…"

"This is certainly awkward," Vegeta acknowledged.

"It is!"

"I didn't know—"

"That she was pregnant? I know." The Announcer used his free hand to push his drooping glasses up the bridge of his nose. He was sweating bullets in his suit. "It all happened pretty quickly."

"Obviously."

Crickets chirped in the grass. The dead silence would go on for an eternity if someone didn't speak up soon.

Deep inside, Vegeta wanted to feel angry. Did Bulma want to have another child with him but never mentioned it? Would he have stayed with her if she'd said she wanted another kid? Would the version of himself that existed before his whirlwind romance with Goku have been gung-ho about having another child?

With Goku absent, the thoughts crushed him until all that remained was an overwhelming despair. But he found the courage to break the silence on behalf of everyone else. "Congratulations. On both the baby and the relationship."

"Ha-ha! Thanks!" The Announcer grinned. "I hope it's okay I came over here. I actually need to speak with Piccolo!"

Piccolo pointed at his own chest. "M-me?"

"Yeah! Bulma said Gohan would know where to find you. He told me to come over here." He extended a hand toward Piccolo. Piccolo reached up from the ground and shook it awkwardly. "I wanted to know if you'd like to appear on my TV show?"

"TV…show…?"

"Yes. It's called 'The Announcer Hour'. We interview guests from a wide variety of backgrounds. Recently we had a woman come on who's  _dying_  to meet you!"

"Why me?!"

"She's in love with you, Piccolo. She has been for decades. Don't you want to see what she has to say to you?"

"Of course not! I'm not meeting some weirdo woman who thinks she's in love with me!" Piccolo yelled. "Are you insane?"

"We compensate our guests very well for their time. How does 50,000 zeni sound?"

"I don't care about mo—"

"He'll do it!" 18 yelled. "Piccolo. You're going on TV, and you're going to give that money to me. Right?"

Piccolo opened and closed his mouth. "But—but—"

"This is great! I even brought the release papers to make everything official!" The Announcer reached for his back pocket. "Ah, could someone hold—?"

"I'll do it." Vegeta stood up and reached out toward Bra. Abject terror crossed the Announcer's face. Vegeta didn't blame him, but he couldn't help rolling his eyes. "Come on. Don't be like that. You're going to be seeing a _lot_  more of me in the future, so it's time to get used to it."

He handed the baby to Vegeta. "Thank you." He rummaged around in his pockets for the release papers. Under 18's hawk-like gaze, Piccolo finished signing all the paperwork.

Vegeta studied Bra's features.  _You're beautiful, Bra_ , he thought glumly.

* * *

Goku counted the days in his head. It was now May. Only one more month was left before he was supposed to meet Vegeta again.

"You humans are complete idiots!" Vampire Vegeta hissed. For the past month, he'd spent most of his time latched to Goku's back. He was just as useful as the rest of the heavy cargo Goku lugged down the tunnel.

The vampire wasn't as friendly as Goku hoped he'd be. At least the creature never attacked anyone else in the cave. But he made sure his irritation was publicly announced at all times.

The prisoners stopped to set up camp for the night. It was Goku's turn to stay awake and make sure no unwanted 'visitors' showed up. Excluding his vampire friend. He curled up beside the wall several feet away from the clamor of people pitching tents and unrolling cots.

Every night Vampire Vegeta did the same thing: stood in a corner away from everyone else and creepily watched them sleep. And every night Goku asked him the same thing. "Vampire Vegeta," he yawned, "come sit next to me."

Like every other night in the past month, Goku assumed he'd be ignored. But this time his 'friend' finally spoke up. "Why should I?" he spat.

Goku grinned.  _A breakthrough!_  "Because I like you. And I think you like me back."

"What would make you think such a stupid thing?"

"Because you haven't run away yet."

"You're keeping me prisoner. So I can't leave. Duh."

 _Ah, he looks so much like Vegeta. How cute!_ Unfortunately, he smelled nothing like Vegeta. Nor did he emit any sort of life energy Goku could detect.  _He doesn't hold a candle to the real thing._ "You can leave if you want. But you'll make me happier if you stay."

Vampire Vegeta laughed. "Yeah right. You'll hurt me if I even  _think_  about running away."

Goku smiled. "Don't you have a normal version of yourself? Why do you still look like Vegeta?"

"Uh…" He was caught off guard. "I don't feel like changing back!"

"Why not?"

"Um, it'd be too hard."

"You must enjoy looking like that, huh?" Goku stretched his arms into the air, then folded his hands behind his head. "Why?"

"Shut-up, mortal. You couldn't possibly comprehend the reason with your pea-sized brain."

"It's because you know how I feel about him, right?" Goku nodded, as if agreeing with himself. "You know it makes me happy to see him again. Even though you're not really him. And I bet it makes you feel good reading my thoughts about him all the time."

Vampire Vegeta scoffed. "Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't!"

"Aww. I knew it." He stroked the empty ground beside him. "You're cute. Please sit with me. I'm pretty lonely—"

"Oh, I know all about your  _loneliness_ , big boy. I can read all the disgusting thoughts going through your head right now." Vampire Vegeta smirked. "Would you boyfriend be happy you're trying to get in another man's pants?"

Goku blushed. "I'm—I wouldn't—"

"You're thinking about it right now." Vampire Vegeta wagged his finger at Goku like he caught him pissing on the carpet. "You're trying to figure out if it'd count as cheating if I only gave you a handjob!"

"Th—that's not true!"

"You'd even bend me over if I let you!"

Goku shushed him. "They're trying to sleep, you know!" he said in a half-whisper.

Vampire Vegeta sat down cross-legged on the dirty ground. "Luckily for you, you're not my type at all."

Goku wiped the sweat from his brow. "That's fine with me."

"Don't get too comfortable." He smiled wide enough to expose his fangs. "I  _do_  enjoy making you squirm."

"Oh man," Goku grumbled.  _What the hell is wrong with this guy? The only reason he wants to look like Vegeta is so he can screw with my head!_

Vampire Vegeta sniffed the air like a dog. "You're not human. And you're not weak like the others. What are you?"

"A Saiyan." When Vampire Vegeta stared back at him blankly, he smiled. "I'm an alien."

"How bizarre. What are you doing under here with these weaklings?"

"I'm helping them raid the capitol city."

"Oh  _are_  you." The vampire laughed. "Good luck with that. The city is filled with people like me."

"Aah…dammit. Really?" Goku slumped over. When was this nightmare going to end for him?

"Well?"

Goku scratched the back of his head. "Well what?"

"Don't you want to know why  _I'm_  in the tunnel? I've waited a whole month for you to ask me. But all you can think about is my body."

He loosened his collar. "Oh, yeah! You should tell me."

"I was sent to check up on you all. The tribunal in the city knew  _one_  of you imprisoned pieces of scum finished the tunnel. So logically one of you was a serious threat." He inspected his long fingernails, feigning boredom with the conversation. "I was told to kill whoever did the job."

"Huh," Goku said. "That's weird. You'd think they'd send someone stronger."

"I  _am_  strong!" He smashed one of his fists against Goku's shoulder. It ricocheted off the muscle.

"Haa, that tickles!"

"Shut-up! My bite is much worse!"

"Sure." Goku rubbed his neck, remembering the horrible bite the vampire gave him a month ago. "Alright. So you failed your mission. And you know I wouldn't hurt you if you tried to leave. Why stay? Don't you want to tell all your other vampire buddies about us?"

Vampire Vegeta tapped his knee. He rocked back and forth, impatient. "I know you want to get back to your home. To meet this Vegeta fellow. Maybe if you help  _me_ …I can help  _you_  leave sooner."

Goku looked over at him. "What do you have in mind?"

"I used to be a regular guy, you know. A human. I lived in the capitol city. But years ago a single vampire visited and…that was the end of that. Everyone turned." His face softened. "The tribunal over our city—the ones that imprisoned you all—did nothing to help."

"You want me to turn you back into a human?"

"Naw." The vampire's eyes wandered toward the group of prisoners settling into their cots for the night. "It's impossible to turn back after being bitten. And no one trusts vampires. We all live a pretty meaningless existence in the city. We hate it there, but it's not like we can live anywhere else in peace."

"I'm sorry," Goku said. "How can I help, though?"

Vampire Vegeta fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. "If you mortals are really going to take over the city…It would be cool if you guys could help us be…normal again. Not physically, but socially. If we had human leaders that cared about us, maybe the rest of the world could be convinced we're not so bad."

Goku sighed. "Of course I'll help you!" He held his friend's hand. "But can you promise me something? When we get out of this tunnel, can you make sure no one in the city hurts us?"

"I…can try my best to make that happen."

Goku smiled. "I knew it was a good idea to keep you around, Vegeta!"

"I'm  _not_  Vegeta!"

* * *

Vegeta wiped the blood from his mouth. He hadn't enjoyed the pleasure of having the complete shit beat out of him in a long time.

It started out as a humid day in June. Piccolo and he flew to an uninhabited gorge north of Krillin's town to spar. The Namekian impressed him—his fighting was vastly superior compared to when they first started fighting last summer. How many years had Piccolo held all this untapped potential? When Goku returned, Vegeta would insist they sparred with him together.  _That is, if he ever returns._

Soon their rough tumble attracted the attention of a few unwanted 'guests'. Vegeta sensed Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu flying up to greet them. "Hey, you two!" Yamcha flew eye-level to Vegeta. "What's going on over  _here_ , hmm?"

"You're so nosy, Yamcha. We're sparring," Vegeta said out of breath. He was still recovering from Piccolo's last punch.

"And you didn't even think to invite  _me_? I thought I'd be at the top of your list for a beating," Yamcha teased.

"I didn't think you'd want more after the last time. You were pretty  _sore_  after that."

Yamcha blushed. "Listen, dude. We just came to kick your ass."

Vegeta raised his arms in the air, leaving himself completely open for attacks. "Sure. Four against one sounds good to me."

Tien spoke up. "Heh. You bet."

The Prince didn't want to admit it, but all four of the fighters were giving him a run for his money. Even little Chiaotzu's psychic attacks were giving him trouble maintaining control over his own limbs.

Two other large energies sped toward him.  _Who the hell is it now?_ The distraction earned him a kick in the ribs from Tien. A bone in his chest cracked. "Shit!" he yelled.

"Yoo-hoo! Over here!" Krillin and 18 flew into the middle of the foray. Everyone froze in their fighting stance to stare at them. "Hey, boys. Looks like you're having a lot of fun out here!" Krillin said in a gleeful tone that put Vegeta on edge.

"Awesome, Krillin's going to join! You too, 18?" Yamcha said between pants.

"I can't believe this guy over here," she said, motioning toward Vegeta, "never asked me to fight with him. And he's been living in  _my_  house this whole time. Shame on you, Vegeta."

"I didn't know you wanted to," Vegeta said. He spat a slurry of blood and saliva from his mouth.

"I haven't fought in a while." Krillin stretched all his short limbs away from his body. "But I can't miss out on this. How does six against one sound, Vegeta?"

Vegeta pouted.  _What the absolute fuck! Do they want to kill me?_

In the past, a situation like this would have enraged him. He'd see it as a chance for all of Goku's friends to finally take their vengeance against him.

But when he stared deeper into all the eyes watching him, he couldn't find a trace of malice. The longer he studied them all, the more an overwhelming sense of joy filled him. The same proud eyes Goku gave Vegeta during their spars were now looking back at him twelve fold.

 _They all came here to see me._ He grinned. "Sure. I'll fight you all. You'll regret it, though."

Krillin pumped his fist in the air. "Alright!"

One hour. That's how long Vegeta held his own against all of them. 18 and Krillin gave him the final blow, which sent him crashing into the face of a cliff. He couldn't move a muscle.

"Vegeta?" 18 asked. Piccolo and she landed beside him in the giant crater he made. "Are you okay?" she said while giving him one final kick in the shin.

The Prince rolled his tongue around his mouth. He hadn't experienced fresh pain like this in years. He held out his hand and spat four teeth into his palm. "I'm fine."

Piccolo laughed at his pain. "Do you think Goku will still like you now that your princely face is ruined?"

"Fuck you, Piccolo." Vegeta smiled before passing out.

* * *

Goku spoke to Boris and Anya about Vampire Vegeta's wishes. Anya came up with a brilliant plan to take over the capitol city. Unfortunately, Boris hated it.

For weeks he fought with Goku and his wife. He gave reasons why it wouldn't work. Vampire Vegeta still held a grudge against Boris for shooting him, so he ignored everything the man said and encouraged Anya to go through with it. Anya begged her husband to trust her.

By the end of June, Boris acquiesced.

Goku was thrilled. But there was still the problem of actually  _getting_  tothe capitol city at faster than a snail's pace.

Going off Boris' calculations, they were only a quarter of the way through the tunnel. Goku wanted to pull his hair out. He hadn't seen the light of day since December.

He couldn't imagine what the  _real_  Vegeta thought of him now. He'd broken his promise to call him in the spring. For all the posturing Vegeta did to appear as aloof toward relationships, he remembered every single word spoken to him by people he cared about. Goku didn't doubt for a second Vegeta was pissed off at him for not keeping his word.

"We're never going to make it there at this rate," Goku announced. The prisoners around him groaned. They were used to his complaining. "And we're out of senzu beans!"

"It's not like we can run the whole way like you," Anya piped in. "Or fly!"

Goku blinked. "Fly?" He stopped in his tracks. Several men behind him bumped into his back and teetered backwards. "Fly!  _Fly!_ " He jumped up and down. Could he really do it? For over fifty people? "Hey everyone—we can fly there! I don't know why I didn't think of this before!"

Boris rubbed his temples. "Anya just told you we don't know  _how_ to fly!"

"You don't have to learn anything," Goku said amid the protests. He walked backwards through the tunnel, pushing everyone out of his way. "Now everyone just hold hands!"

Vampire Vegeta clung to Goku's back. " _I'm_ not touching anyone else."

"What is he up to!" snapped one prisoner.

"Trust me," Goku yelled.

All the prisoners locked arms with one another. An apprehensive look came over Boris' face. "What are you going to do?"

"Just hold on tight." Goku spread his legs apart, then held his hands in front of his face with splayed fingers. Slowly, he gathered the energy around them until it collected in his palms. Everyone in the cave shuffled around nervously. A few minutes passed. "Okay, I think this is enough," he yelled. "Don't be scared, okay?"

Anya screeched. "Don't be scared of wha—"

Goku pushed his hands forward. A large gust of energy swept through the tunnel. Everyone screamed as they were lifted off their feet.

"Goku—!" Boris choked out.

The great force swept everyone forward at a blistering speed. Goku flew behind them all, pushing the energy with his hands so the group continued to travel forward. "Trust me!"

Vampire Vegeta buried his face in the back of Goku's jacket. "What are you doing?!"

Goku beamed. _Yes. Yes! FINALLY!_  They covered miles of ground in seconds. All their screaming and the whistling of the wind nearly killed his eardrums. Desperate to end the madness, he increased their speed through the tunnel. "We're almost there!" he yelled in the din.

After a long hour of yelling, they approached a bright light. "Goku, watch out!" Anya yelled.

Goku focused on the light and saw it was actually a thin wall of snow. Everyone burst through the slush, their yells suddenly muted. When Goku opened his eyes, he laughed. "We made it!"

They all hurdled through fresh, crisp wintery air. Tears welled in Goku's eyes as they readjusted to natural light again. Hundreds of feet below them sat a snowy canyon. Within its walls lay a sprawling city with a medieval castle at its center.

"Freedom!" screamed one of the prisoners. Everyone cheered in response.

"This is so awesome!" Goku cried.

"Hey stupid," Vampire Vegeta growled into Goku's ear. "We're still falling."

Goku looked down. "Oh."

All the prisoners screamed again, this time in terror. If Goku didn't act quickly, the fall would kill everyone. Months being underground robbed him of his ability to act quickly on his feet.  _Shit, I hope this works!_ Using his hand, he gathered energy below them. Their descent slowed the closer they approached the earth. Boris was the first to crash-land into the snow. All the prisoners followed in succession, rolling to lessen the impact.

Goku gently landed on his feet. "Everyone okay?"

"I think so," one man muttered. After a few minutes of collecting themselves and dusting snow off their clothes, everyone stood up from the ground.

For such a huge city, Goku thought it was oddly quiet. It didn't look technologically advanced, either. They were surrounded by buildings made of worn black stone. Many were dilapidated and falling in on themselves.

Energy emanated from the huge castle in the distance.  _There are people in there, but who?_

"Where is everyone?" Anya whispered.

"They're watching us." Boris pulled a large machine gun from his pack. "Get ready to fire on my signal!"

Goku whipped his head around. Whatever presence Boris felt was lost on him.

Vampire Vegeta squeaked. "They're coming!"

Hundreds of shadowy figures poured from the buildings like rats. Shrill screams filled the air.

 _Oh boy._  "Vampire Vegeta, do something!"

"Um, okay!" He ran toward the impending black swarm. "Hey, uh—"

"Hurry  _up!_ " Goku screamed.

The vampire's spine stiffened. Goku's yell placed the fear of the gods in him. "Stop!" He held both his hands in the air. "It's me!"

One vampire skidded to a stop only feet away from Boris. His black cloak billowed around him. He glared at Vampire Vegeta. "Whuh?"

All of the other creatures halted themselves and tumbled over in the snow. One vampire child rolled onto her back and landed at Boris' feet. He pressed the tip of his gun to her forehead.

"Yorick," screeched another vampire man waist-deep in snow. He flailed his arms in the air uselessly. "You better have a good reason for stopping us!"

Goku grabbed Vampire…er, Yorick's shoulder. "That's your real name?  _Yorick_?"

Yorick pulled away from him. "Goku, shut-up!" Once again he rose his hands in the air to get everyone's attention. "Hector, listen to me. They mean no harm."

"I swear," whined Hector, "once I get out of here, I'm going to kill each and every one of you!" His blond hair bounced on his head as he clawed against his snowy prison.

Goku relaxed his fighting stance.  _This_  was what they were up against?  _These guys can barely walk straight._ He cleared his throat. "We're here to stop the tribunal!" he yelled.

All the vampires stared at Hector, who Goku presumed to be their leader…the guy who couldn't even figure out how to get unstuck from the snow. "Oh, really?" Hector asked. "If that's true, then drop the guns!"

"Goku," Boris groaned, "you're going to get us all killed."

"I don't think so." Goku smiled. "These guys aren't so bad. You won't be needing any guns against them."

Hector cackled. "You don't think we're bad, huh? I'm the baddest of the bad! I make mortals cower in the night!" Hector managed to wiggle out from his trap. He slid down into the white slush face-first. "Aaah, it's too cold! I hate this!"

Boris held his hand out toward the prisoners to signal them to lower their weapons. "You may be right, Son Goku. They don't seem very intelligent."

"I hate being outside," whined the little girl vampire near Boris. "The light burns my skin. It also makes me itch. I  _hate_  itching!"

A low hum of complaints rose from the crowd of vampires. "Come on guys," Goku yelled over the noise. "I'm kinda in a hurry here. I was hoping I could get this over with today."

Hector cleared his throat. When he stood up, Goku noticed the vampire had a good foot on him in height. "Come here, little boy," Hector said.

Goku looked around. "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes, you! You're the only little boy here!"

"I'm a grown man…"

Hector stomped through the snow. He placed a claw on Goku's forehead. "Mmhmm. Oh, my. Yes, that's very interesting. Wow."

Goku blinked. "Um. Can I help you?"  _These guys sure are weird…_

"I was just reading your mind."

"You have to touch me to do that?"

"No," Hector confessed. He lowered his hand. "I saw your plan." He pointed at Anya. "Are you sure about her?"

Goku grinned. "Yes! Can you help us?"

"Sure. Why not." Hector shoved his entire fist into his mouth.

"Oh, uh, you don't have to do it like that," Goku stammered. He witnessed Hector pull one of his own fangs straight from his gums. Blood dribbled down his chin.

"Jesus," muttered a few of the prisoners.

Hector laughed. A large gap stood out in his once-perfect smile. "I hope you're ready for this, lady." He walked to Anya, then placed the pulled tooth into her open palm.

She smiled. "Thank you!"

Boris looked away from her. "Let's storm the castle already, Goku."

Hector shook his head. "It's impossible to get inside the castle. There are all sorts of curses and traps we can't get past. You'll have to find a different way to get to the tribunal."

"Are the traps only for vampires?" Goku asked.

"I'm not sure."

"I think it's time to check."

* * *

Half an hour later, all the prisoners and vampires gathered before the ancient castle in the middle of the city.

"Don't bother with the front door," Hector said gravely, "it's loaded with curses, and besides, it's too heavy for a normal person to—"

"I got it open!" Goku yelled. A giant swath of snow curled behind the door once he pushed it all the way open.

"What the—" Hector stepped backward. "What the hell are you?!"

"Don't worry about that. Let's go!"

Yorick grabbed onto the back of Goku's parka. "W-wait!"

Goku looked over his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I…um…"

"I've got to hurry, Yorick! What is it?"

"This is if I don't get to see you again." He threaded his fingers into Goku's hair and smashed their faces together. His cold tongue pushed past Goku's lips and invaded his mouth.

Goku couldn't stifle his moan.  _Shitshitshit._ When Yorick got a bit too acquainted with what his gums tasted like, Goku pulled away. The disappointed expression on Yorick's face—which was ostensibly Vegeta's face—made Goku shudder. This was too weird. "The real Vegeta will kick my ass if I kiss you. I'm sorry!"

"Goku," Yorick whispered, "I assumed—back in the tunnel, when you had all those thoughts about me—"

Goku reddened. If he got any hotter under the collar, he'd melt right through the snow. "They were just thoughts!" he blurted.

A tinge of red stained Yorick's cheeks. "Oh."

"You'renicebutIreallyhavetoleave _bye_!" Goku rushed headlong inside the darkness of the castle.  _Whew, glad I got out of that_   _one!_

"Goku, wait! It's too dangerous to go alone!" Anya yelled behind him. He ignored her plea. The whole group of prisoners trailed behind him.

"I've got to hurry!" he yelled. Without a second thought he ran up a flight of stone stairs.

"Goku—the east wing," Boris panted.

"I sense it too." Goku spun right on his heel and careened down a black corridor.

Toward the end, a dim light shined beneath a door. He skidded to a stop. Following his lead, all the prisoners halted behind him. "Hush!" Goku whispered.

"Goku—if you go in first, Anya and I will cover you if they have weapons." Boris held his gun vertical to his body. "Don't worry."

"We're not going to shoot anyone today."

Boris sighed. "If they shoot first, I'm going to do what I need to do."

"I won't allow it." Goku walked toward the door, leaving Boris behind to curse him in the darkness.

It was unlocked. He pushed it open.

Goku's eyes scanned the room. In the center, several white-haired men in judicial robes sat gathered together. They hovered over a round table made of rock.

"It's my turn to roll for the skill challenge!"

"Fine, but you can't cheat this time and claim a six on the die is actually a nine!"

 _What in the world_? Goku broke past the entrance and fully entered the room. "Uh, hello?"

All the men jumped in fright. "Who the hell is that?!" one of them said, pointing a gnarled finger at Goku's chest.

Goku blinked. "What're you guys doing? Playing a game?"

"You're interrupting an  _incredibly_  important session of Dungeons and Dragons." The tallest man at the table rose. "How did you get in here?"

"I just walked in through the front door," Goku said. He pointed his thumb behind his shoulder. "It was easy."

"That's impossible." The man gazed past Goku's shoulder. His droopy eyes widened at Boris' face. "You…It's  _you!_ " He stumbled backwards. "I thought I banished you to that hell beneath the earth!"

Boris leapt out from behind Goku with his gun pointed straight at the old man's heart. He fired. "Die, Chancellor!"

"No!" Goku jumped in the path of the bullet. It cracked into the side of his skull. "OW!" He clutched his scalp. "Goddammit!"

Boris and the prisoners cried out. Anya rushed toward Goku and cradled his aching head. "Goku, why did you do that? Are you okay?"

"Ugh! That hurt like a son of a  _bitch!_ "

"Goku!" Anya clicked her tongue while waving her own gun in the air. "I've never heard such language come from your mouth. I thought you were a  _good_ boy!"

"Aw, I'm sorry. That just really hurt!" Goku peeled the crushed bullet off his scalp, and flicked it to the floor. "This is why using guns is bad! And cowardly!"

The man Boris called Chancellor approached them. "Now  _this_  is interesting. I take it  _you're_  the one who finished off the tunnel six months back. I'm surprised my vampire didn't finish you off in that death trap like I asked." He twirled his beard around his yellow fingers. "How did you even make it alive through the city?"

Goku rubbed the tears from his eyes. A light bulb turned on in his foggy mind. He  _did_  know this guy. "You're the one who sent me to that stupid prison!"

"Yes. And  _you're_  the idiot who destroyed the priceless painting we owned."

"It was an accident!"

The Chancellor stared at the prisoners, who all lowered their guns to the floor. He chuckled. "You should've escaped underground when you had the chance. Now all of these fools are going to die with you. They even put their guns down since they know there's no hope for them."

"No one's dying today." Goku walked toward the group of old men. "I'll give you one chance to leave this place."

The Chancellor laughed. "Or what?"

"Or else you end up with the fate as everyone else in the city."

The men around the table giggled. One of them even rolled a twenty-sided die to calculate his hit rating for his next turn in the game.

"That's impossible," the Chancellor said. "Every single entrance into this castle is sealed away to those miserable cretins out in the snow."

Goku cracked his neck. "Are you sure about that? I'll give you one more chance to surrender."

"Your men won't even attack me." The Chancellor smiled at Goku's somber face. "And  _you're_  too stupid to finish me off. I can tell by the dull look in your eyes."

Goku sighed in resignation. "Fine then." He turned to Anya. "Are you ready?"

"I am." She crouched down to the floor and gently placed her gun on the flagstone. With careful steps, she walked toward the Chancellor. She stretched her closed hand toward him.

"The old woman? What's she going to do?" The Chancellor's deft fingers crawled into his robe.

Anya squeezed her palm. A soft gasp escaped her lips. She looked down and opened her hand. Hector's vampire tooth clattered onto the floor. Blood trickled across her fingers.

The Chancellor reeled back. "No—"

She lunged at him with her fangs bared.

* * *

It was sweltering hot by the first day of July. Vegeta still hadn't heard word from Goku. He was supposed to be back by now.

That night, after everyone in Krillin's house went to bed, he flew to the rooftop and found a comfortable, flat spot to sit on. The muggy heat from earlier in the day had cooled down. He carried his sketchbook up with him, but he knew he couldn't draw in this state.

He closed his eyes and searched the planet for any indicator of Goku's presence.

Two hours passed. He felt nothing.

Something bad had happened to Goku. That much was undeniable.  _Can't he at least transmit himself here to tell me what's going on?_

Vegeta curled himself into a ball. He thought back to the impromptu barbeque Krillin threw back in June. The moment he heard Tien make a throwaway comment about how he and Goku argued like a married couple, he knew his fate was sealed. Finally, all of Goku's friends approved of their relationship. It was time for them to make things official and mate.

His body was telling him it was time to mate as well.

He'd never talked to any Saiyans about  _this_ part of the mating process: the biological changes that came with it. But as a prince he'd overheard a smattering of gossip from young women around the palace. At the time their opinions held no value to him. As a man and as prince, he naturally would hold power over his future partner.

Vegeta raked his memory.

He remembered women complaining about a pain during the days leading to their official mating union. They never described it as a physical pain. Now he understood why.

Every night since that party in June, he longed for Goku. Especially the night there was a full moon. What he experienced transcended sexual frustration into psychic despair.

Vegeta needed Goku curled next to him in bed at night. He needed to see him laughing again. He needed to hear his stupid jokes. He needed to know he was safe. He needed to look into Goku's large, obsidian eyes and take pleasure in how they lit up at his presence.

Then there was the need Vegeta hated the most.

One day he dropped Pan back off at Mr. Satan's house and accidentally called her his daughter. The word rolled off his tongue like he'd been saying it for years. Piccolo was there to smugly point out the Prince's blunder.

Vegeta wanted to carry Goku's child.

It didn't end there. He had a fantasy where he had a daughter, and she looked just like Goku, and every day Goku would happily take care of them both, and Vegeta would cook for all of them, and they'd all train together, and—

All the nonsense bouncing around in his head had to be the hormones talking. He prayed to every god in the universe that the disgusting thoughts would fade away. Perhaps he'd feel mental clarity after however long it took him and Goku to settle into a normal routine after mating.

 _If_ they ever got around to mating. That depended on whether or not Goku was still alive.

At least the kids were out of school again. His four-hour morning sessions with Marron in the studio had resumed. And Trunks had graduated. Vegeta heard through the grapevine that Bulma gave him a hard time for never bothering to apply to colleges. The Prince sided with Trunks on this matter—as an adult he could do whatever he wanted with his life. And with the enormous amount of time he spent with Goten, Vegeta assumed they'd try living together soon. On Goku's behalf he'd have to put his foot down. Goten was still underage.

He felt off. It was like the rest of the world was moving on without him.

Grumbling, he pulled out an old pack of cigarettes. It smelled like death to him. He dropped them and flew down off the roof. Maybe it wasn't healthy to think obsessively for hours at a time.

The next morning he skipped breakfast and immediately went to Marron's studio. When Marron showed up with a plate full of food and a glass of orange juice for him, he'd already completed a large sketch on the wall.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

He glanced over his shoulder. "Yes. Do I seem…not okay?"

"You have some charcoal on your face." She smiled. "And you do seem different. It's because Uncle Goku hasn't come back, right?"

He wiped his cheek with his shirt sleeve. "Yes."

"I know he's okay. I can feel it."

 _I can't feel anything._ He kept his thoughts to himself and nodded solemnly.

Someone knocked at the front door to the basement. Both he and Marron stared up the stairs. Rarely were they bothered while working. "I'll get it," she said, handing off the plate of food to Vegeta.

A dull pain gathered between Vegeta's eyebrows.  _Maybe I should do something about these goddamn migraines._

Marron ran so fast back down the stairs, she nearly face-planted once reaching the bottom. "Vegeta!" she squealed. It was the first time she didn't call him her uncle. "There's a lady that wants to see you!"

He tilted his head.  _That can't be anything good._ He passed the plate of breakfast food back to Marron and ascended the stairs.

The woman was unfamiliar to him. She wore a light-blue pencil skirt and puffy blouse. Unnaturally bright-red hair sat on her head in a high bun. "Mr. Vegeta?" She extended her hand. Slowly, he shook it. "My name is Lauren Mays, but you can call me Laurie. I actually work in the marketing division of Capsule Corp."

"Hi," he said. He hoped this lady didn't expect him to recognize her after he'd lived at Capsule Corp for two decades. Only Bulma made the effort to remember the employees' names in that giant place.

"Bulma Briefs told me I should visit you." Laurie grinned. Vegeta widened his eyes when he noticed one of her front teeth was made of gold. "I heard you're an  _amazing_  artist."

He blushed. "What?" He hadn't talked to Bulma in over a year. How the hell would  _she_  know about his artwork? Which one of Goku's big-mouthed friends had ratted him out?

"I know this is totally out of the blue, and totally last minute," she said, holding her hands cupped together in front of her chest. "But I was wondering if you'd like to show your work in one of our galleries in West City." Before he could respond, she blurted out another string of words. "Another artist had to drop out of the show, so we need a replacement for this Friday night. All you'd have to do is accept sponsorship from Capsule Corp! And we'd compensate you, of course! You can choose whatever you want to show in the gallery!"

Vegeta stepped backwards. "Um. I don't think so."

Laurie's face fell. "I can give you more information if you—"

"No. I'm not interested in showing my work publicly." He looked away. "Sorry."

"Oh. Well…I suppose I understand." She smiled, but her eyes were sad. "I'm sorry for interrupting you."

"It's fine."

Laurie exhaled. She extended her hand again. "It was nice meeting you Mr.—"

"WAAAIT!" Marron barreled up the stairs and out the front door. She shoved Vegeta out of the way and extended her hand toward Laurie. "He'll do it! He'll do it!"

Vegeta and Laurie gaped at her, bug-eyed. "Excuse me?" Laurie said.

"He'll be happy to do it!" Marron caught her breath. "He's just shy.  _Right_ , Uncle?"

"I'm not shy," Vegeta scoffed.

"Just let her take a look at your work. Please?" Marron's eyes were wide and sparkling.

"No."

"Do it for me!"

"I won't."

"Do it for Uncle Goku. Don't you think he'd be thrilled to see your work in a real gallery?"

"He won't…" Vegeta paused. He wanted to say Goku would never be back to witness such a thing. He also didn't want a bunch of strangers ogling and analyzing his art. What if they called him a pervert? "I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing it."

Marron sighed. She turned to Vegeta with her eyes closed. "Uncle Vegeta. I respect you. Immensely." She opened her eyes and looked intently enough at Vegeta for him to feel as if she was peering into his soul. "But I can't let you walk away from this opportunity. It's not going to happen again.  _Please_. Just let her look at your work, then make a decision."

Vegeta massaged the tension in his forehead. For some reason, all the women he knew had strong sway over his life decisions. "Fine."

* * *

_This isn't happening to me._

Vegeta leaned against a light post. It was seven o'clock Friday night. Across the street was a large gallery glowing with warm light like a beacon in the twilight.

Inside, dozens of his paintings, drawings, and sketches were lovingly mounted on alabaster walls.

It was filled with at least a hundred people at the moment. Among them included all of Goku's friends.

He couldn't step foot in there. It was impossible. Not with all of those eyes on him. And on what he  _made._

Laurie had been kind. She didn't mind his short temper, or the fact he said as few words as possible around her. But she fought him on his decision on which pieces to show to the public. She'd loved all of his pictures of Goku, and insisted at least the giant paintings of him go up in the gallery.

He agreed on the condition he wouldn't show up opening night.

Heat rose to his temples. Would Goku's friends think of him differently now? Maybe the whole event was a horrible idea to begin with. After they saw what kind of art he made, would they think of him as a basket case? Had he destroyed all the work he did gaining their approval for the past year?

And what about all of these people he'd never seen before in his life? Who were they? Why did they come to see his work? How had they heard about it? The glass entrance to the gallery allowed him the chance to spy on a few faces inside the building. Several men in business suits were holding glasses of wine with serious looks on their faces. A few women were laughing to themselves. What the hell was going on in there?

Vegeta's phone buzzed in his pocket.  _Shit!_  He looked at the caller ID. Right before it rang for what he knew to be the last time, he answered. "Hi Marron."

"Uncle Vegeta, I can see you across the street. Stop being silly and come inside already."

He gulped. "I can't."

"Why not? It's your big night. This only happens once."

"I'm too—" Vegeta coughed away the word he intended to say.

"Don't be scared. I promise if you come inside, you won't regret it," Marron said in a sing-song voice.

"Why do you say that?"

"Just trust me." The dull roar of the gallery crowd muffled the next few words Marron uttered.

"What did you say?" Vegeta asked. The call dropped before she could repeat herself.

He held his breath.  _Okay. I'll go in. But the moment someone recognizes me, I'm leaving._

Once he entered the gallery, a wave of dizziness overwhelmed him. It was crowded. People were taking pictures.  _Are they allowed to do that?_  Familiar pictures that spent months in Marron's basement were splashed all over the walls for the world to see. It was too vulgar for Vegeta to take in all at once. Instinctively, he hovered his palm over his brow to shield his face. As if the gesture would disguise him.

 _For fuck's sake. This place is huge._  He scuttled over to a small painting of Krillin that managed to escape the attention of any large crowds. Most everyone in the room was fascinated with a wall-sized illustration of Goku he did  _not_ want to face at the moment. He figured once everyone finished gaping at  _that_  drawing, they'd invade the only corner of the gallery he found solitude in. Before then, he planned on being miles away back at Krillin's house.

The Prince bounced up and down on his heels, which clicked on the floor. He'd dressed up. A little. Even though he hadn't intended on anyone seeing him.

In the gallery lighting, the Krillin painting looked pretty nice.

"Ah, Vegeta—I'm sorry I'm late!"

Vegeta turned around.

Goku stared back at him. His innocent eyes were wide in wonder.

Vegeta blinked. First, he studied the cast on Goku's right leg. Then he noticed Goku was balancing himself on two crutches. And  _then_  he realized what Goku was wearing. He was dressed to the nines. He wore a starched, blue uniform decorated with medals that glinted in the gallery light.

They stood for a while just looking at each other. Goku opened his mouth. "Wow, Vegeta…you gained weight."

Vegeta heard a strange moan. It came from his own mouth. "You…you…I thought you were dead."

Goku smiled. "Nah, I'm still kickin'." He looked down at his cast. "Heh. I take that back."

Vegeta couldn't see much past the tears in his eyes. "I thought you were dead this whole time, and the first thing you say to me is that I'm _fat_?"

The stupid smile on Goku's face widened. "It looks good on you." His expression turned into a leer. "Especially from behind."

Vegeta ran to him. "Kakarot!"

The loud clatter of Goku's crutches falling to the floor echoed in the room. Vegeta didn't care he was supporting all of Goku's weight, or the fact Goku was letting him.

Goku crushed him between his arms. "Aw, sweetie," he sighed.

"Kakarot!" The name slipped from him over and over again. He buried his face in Goku's chest.

"Don't cry, Vegeta." But in his grasp, Vegeta felt Goku's back heave. Goku dried his wet eyes on Vegeta's shoulder.

He slid his fingers into Goku's hair. It was the same. Of course it was the same. He started crying again.

He felt the eyes of the gallery patrons wash over him. He couldn't find it in himself to care.


	19. Part Nineteen

Rough fingertips rubbed in circles between Goku's shoulder blades. The fresh, clean scent of Vegeta's hair filled his nose. Goku couldn't remember the last time a body felt so corporeal against him. If he listened closely, he could even hear the thrum of Vegeta's heart against his ribcage. Both their crying petered out at the same time. To Goku's delight, Vegeta's sighs morphed into soft purrs.

"Are you still in love with me, Vegeta?"

"You bastard. Of course I am."

Goku paused. He inhaled. It was faint, but it was there: the Prince had a new scent. It wasn't shampoo or cologne, or even the smell of another person. Whatever it was, it rattled Goku's senses to the point of dizziness. He wanted to roll around in it.

 _Time for an experiment._ Nonchalantly, he licked a line up the side of Vegeta's neck. "You taste great!"

Vegeta pulled away. Redness surrounded his puffy eyes. "I missed you," he said. His voice quavered.

"I missed you too." Goku shifted his weight to his one good leg, then wrapped his arms around Vegeta's neck. He pressed his nose against Vegeta's; his lover's eyes crossed to stare back at him. "Yep. Still cute."

Vegeta kissed him full on the mouth. It'd been a year since Goku felt this warm. He moaned once Vegeta pulled away. "How'd you break your leg?"

They were so close, Goku could see the gentle bend in Vegeta's eyelashes. "I'll tell you later," he said, dragging them both into another kiss. The sensation of Vegeta's velvety tongue fighting against his own aroused a coil of pleasure that shot from his stomach down to his groin.

Vegeta broke the contact again. His lips curled into a beautiful smirk. Goku had missed Vegeta's bravado, which came so naturally to him. The Prince stared Goku down as if he owned him. "What am I supposed to do with you, Kakarot?"

"Whatever you want." Goku lacked the willpower to pry himself from Vegeta's body. He slid his hands down his muscled back, then squeezed his backside. " _Goddamn,_  Vegeta."

"What?" Vegeta asked, voice muffled in Goku's neck.

"Your ass is  _fat_."

Vegeta growled. "Don't make fun of me."

"Oh, no. There's nothing funny about  _this_ ," he said, squeezing Vegeta's ass again for emphasis. "My goodness. I can't even fit one cheek in my hand anymore." He looked down at Vegeta with a humorless expression. "This calls for more investigation. You're going to sit on my face later, right?"

Vegeta looked aghast. "Kakarot! You—"

Marron interrupted them. "I thought I saw you across the room, Uncle!"

Goku grinned. "Ay, kiddo!" He pulled her into the best hug he could manage while balanced on one foot.

"I missed you!" She wrapped her thin arms around his waist. "What are you wearing? And when did you get here? I have so many questions!"

He scratched his head. "I just got here. I searched for Vegeta's ki and came hobbling through the front door." For the first time, he looked around the room. "Whose stuff is this anyway? I haven't had a chance to look around yet."

Marron glanced at Vegeta with a toothy grin. Goku witnessed the strange sight of all the color draining from his face.  _Huh? Did I say something wrong?_

"Uncle Goku." Marron pressed her hands to her cheeks. The girl was about to explode. "I can't believe you don't know yet…"

"Should I know?" He looked past Vegeta's shoulder at the painting behind him. "What the—that's  _Krillin!_ " He limped toward the canvas. "Krillin getting stabbed by Frieza! This looks  _amazing_ , but how could someone know this happened?!"

Vegeta was white as a sheet now. And Marron was still smiling mischievously at the both of them.  _What the hell is going on?_

"Why don't you tell him already?" Marron said in a volume louder than normal.

Vegeta crossed his arms. "If he hasn't figured it out by now, maybe it's not worth mentioning!"

Goku frowned.  _Fine, I'll find out for myself since they're acting like a couple of weirdos._ He squinted his eyes to read the placard next to the painting. "Looks like this is by— **WHAT**!"

"Hehehe." Marron held her sides. "Hahaha."

Goku rubbed his eyes. "No way." He scanned the placard again. He looked at Vegeta. To verify he wasn't hallucinating, he read the name next to the painting once more. Maybe he'd forgotten how to read? He pointed at Vegeta. " _You_ did this?"

Vegeta scoffed. "That's what it says."

Goku looked to Marron for help. "Is this a joke?"

She laughed. "No. He really painting this!"

Goku's frown deepened. He absorbed all the details of the painting. "I don't understand. Since when did you know how to paint?"

"I didn't just sit on my ass the whole time you were gone," Vegeta yelled. "I made use of my time and  _learned_ how to do something other than fight!"

Goku gasped. "Why?"

"Ugh, you're impossible!" Vegeta stomped his foot and turned his back on them both.

Marron chimed in. "He did it for  _you_ , Uncle Goku. You wanted him to be an artist, right?"

"No way. I forgot I even said that!"

Vegeta walked away. Goku panicked and reached out toward him. After a year, he wasn't going to let his foot-in-mouth disease ruin the moment. "Wait, Vegeta! Please—show me the rest of the gallery!"

"Psh. You don't even care."

After all this time, Goku still remembered Vegeta's body language spoke louder than his words. He needed something from Goku. Good thing Goku knew what that something was.

Exaggerating his difficulty of movement, he hopped on one leg across the floor. "That's not true. I  _do_  care. I'm just shocked, you know? Now I'm not sure if I'm cool enough to be your boyfriend anymore."

"Is  _that_ how you feel?"

"Uh-huh." Goku made a big scene of tripping and falling into Vegeta's chest. To catch his balance he wrapped his arms around the Prince's ribcage. "Will you carry me? I'm all weak and defenseless!"

A smile threatened to break Vegeta's tight-lipped scowl. Goku wanted to laugh at his transparent reaction.  _So you think my handicap is funny, huh?_  He released his grip on Vegeta's chest and fell to the floor.

Vegeta covered his mouth to mute his strangled laugh. "Kakarot, stop being silly." He crouched down backwards and wrapped Goku's arms around his neck. Slowly, he lifted the heavier Saiyan up off the ground, then hooked his arms under Goku's knees. "Is this what you want?"

"A piggyback ride! Yay!"

Marron collected Goku's abandoned crutches up from the floor. "I don't understand how this kind of flirting works…"

Goku hugged his arms tighter around Vegeta's neck. He scanned the room. "Wow, I can see everything from up here! Why's there a crowd around that one draw—" Goku cut himself off short.

Below him, Vegeta squeezed his thigh. "What's the matter?"

Goku pointed across the room. "That's a drawing of  _me_!"

"It is." Vegeta parted the crowd like the Red Sea, knocking people over in his straight path to the wall. Visitors cast them dirty looks as the duo eventually blocked everyone's view.

Soon Goku stared face-to-face with an image of himself. "Whoa. I'm  _naked_."

"Yes," Vegeta said.

"Look everyone!" cried a woman to their right. "That's the guy in the drawing!"

Butterflies fluttered in Goku's stomach. The whole room was staring at him now.

"Ooh, he looks even cuter in the flesh," said a young woman standing to Vegeta's left. She leaned over to whisper something in her friend's ear, who burst into a fit of giggles.

Vegeta grunted. "Do you like it, Kakarot?"

Goku studied the giant sheet on the wall. Delicate lines of charcoal wove together to create his image. He was sprawled on his back in a grassy field, which was painstakingly rendered with inch-long strokes of conté. Every sinewy muscle on Goku's body was drawn with interlocking pencil strokes, which created the illusion he was vibrating. The delicate, carefree look on his face robbed the drawing of any lascivious undertones.

Nevertheless, it was still a naked drawing of him that at least a hundred people were gawking and taking pictures of.

"It's incredible. I never knew I could look so good."

"That's how you look to me all of the time," Vegeta said.

A familiar voice broke through the low chatter of the crowd. "Hey, it's Goku!"

Vegeta tensed beneath him. Krillin and Android 18 pushed aside several people to reach them. "Hey, Krillin!" Goku high-fived his short friend. "You decided to come too?"

"How could I miss Vegeta's classy debut?" He slapped Vegeta's arm. "Congratulations! I never knew you had it in you."

"Thanks."

18 crossed her arms. "Are you impressed with Vegeta, Goku? He worked hard for the past year."

"Oh yeah. I can't believe it!"

" _I_  can't believe it either," she said, jutting her thumb at the illustration of Goku. "Your man saved usall the trouble of having to  _imagine_  what you look like naked."

Goku giggled. "Aw, geez."

"Looks like Trunks and Goten like it too," Krillin said. He pointed out the two boys in the crowd. Both of them gaped at the giant picture with unblinking eyes.

"Wow, Vegeta. It's so good, they're both in shock!" Goku cupped his hands around his mouth. "Yo, Goten!"

His son didn't move. Trunks' right eye twitched. They remained frozen in the crowd.

Krillin rubbed his head, utterly baffled. "What a bunch of weird kids."

"We have a weird one too, honey," 18 said.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll explain later."

Goku carded his hand through Vegeta's hair. "Why don't you show me the rest of the room, Veggie?"

Vegeta led them away from the crowd to peruse the less busy areas of the gallery. The longer Goku drank in the beauty of the work around him, the more his understanding of his partner approached the ineffable. Vegeta was not the same man he knew a year ago.

Goku struggled to fit the Price of all Saiyans in the well-defined box he'd created for himself the past two decades. Vegeta still had a temper. And avoided wearing his emotions on his sleeve.  _And_ voraciously held his pride on a pedestal. But Goku felt bewilderment at discovering Vegeta could effortlessly tap into a creative energy. It was a shame it took Goku twenty years to comprehend what Vegeta meant all those times he claimed to be from an elite class.

The revelation swept Goku away into a state of bliss. He didn't hear the person calling his name until Vegeta set him back down onto the ground. "Goku!"

It was Bulma. She ran and crushed him into an embrace, almost knocking him to the ground. "Goku, are you okay?!"

He wasn't sure how to react.  _Is she still upset with me after all this time?_  "Hey, Bulma!" He returned the hug.

"I missed you!" She looked up at him, teary-eyed. "You got out of prison?"

"You could say that," he laughed. Curious, he petted the ends of her hair. "Wow, it's so long!"

"Yup. I was tired of looking like a soccer mom." She pulled away and looked him over. "Damn, you look great! Except for that cast, of course."

"Heh. Thanks! You don't look too bad yourself."

She smiled at Vegeta. "Hey, you."

Vegeta nodded in her direction. "I—"

She held up her hand. "Uh-uh. No need to say thank you." In a dramatic flair, she pressed her hand flat against her chest. "I know  _I'm_  awesome. And  _you're_  awesome. So you're welcome I took advantage of that!"

Vegeta appeared relieved he didn't have to do any groveling today. He wrapped a protective arm over Goku's shoulders. "Where's the baby?"

"Blondie's got her."

" _Blondie_? Who's that?" Goku asked. "And whose baby are we talking about?"

"Haven't you heard?" Vegeta said, grinning. "Bulma had a baby. Her name's Bra."

"WHAT!" Goku fell backwards, but Vegeta caught him before he fell flat on his ass. "You had another baby while I was gone? It's only been a year!"

Bulma held up a victory sign. "I'm getting older, Goku. You know me. I don't like to waste precious time!" She pat her stomach, which was still slightly swollen from pregnancy. "I gotta get the most mileage outta this thing while I still can!"

Goku laughed nervously. "Ookay." He observed Vegeta for his reaction.  _He doesn't seem to be bothered at all._

"Ooh, there he is across the room. Hey, honey!" Bulma waved her arm wildly toward the opposite end of the gallery.

Goku leaned up on the ball of his good foot. "No way. That's—"

"The Announcer. From the tournament," Vegeta said, finishing Goku's sentence.

"Whoa. How did they—?"

"I have  _no_  idea."

A lanky arm waved back at Bulma over the crowd. Goku scratched his head. "How can they even see each other?!"

"No idea about that either."

Goku laughed. "Congratulations, Bulma!" He was never the type to probe into people's personal business. Besides, Bulma would probably tell him all the unsolicited dirty details of their romance later. "I'm happy for you."

"Goku," she said, taking his hand. "I'm sorry. For what happened a year back."

"That's okay."

"I kinda freaked out. But I had a year to sort everything in my head." She paused. "I hope we can still be best friends?"

"Definitely."

In a nimble maneuver, Bulma dipped down and squeezed in between Goku and Vegeta. She wrapped her arms around both their shoulders. "I'm so happy to see you two together again!"

Goku rested his chin against the top of her head. "Me too."

"Ah,  _there_  he is!"

Goku's ears pricked at the familiar voice. Anya and Boris slipped through the crowd and walked toward them. "Hey, guys!" he said.

The couple were obvious foreigners compared to the rest of the gallery attendees. Boris was dressed in a uniform similar to Goku's. His previously matted, wild beard was trimmed and combed. To Goku, he appeared a completely different man from the one he knew underground. Anya, on the other hand…

"Oh my God," Bulma gasped. Forgetting any sort of social etiquette, she groped the fur lining on Anya's flowing winter coat. "This is gorgeous!"

"Thank you, young lady."

Goku took notice of Anya's ghostly pallor. Vegeta must have perceived something was off about her too. In an odd possessive gesture, he grabbed onto Goku's hand.  _Vegeta likes holding hands now?!_ Stunned, Goku waited for Vegeta to release his grip after realizing the mistake he made.

The Prince didn't seem bothered at all. He even squeezed Goku's hand to bring his attention back to the present. "Kakarot," he said, "introduce me to your friends."

Goku shook his head. "Anya, Boris—this is Bulma, one of my best friends. And this is Vegeta, my—er…" Technically, he'd never introduced Vegeta as his boyfriend in front of Bulma before. "As you know, um, he's my boyfriend."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both," Anya said in her honeyed voice. The familiar way she smiled at Vegeta warmed Goku's spirit. Boris simply nodded in Bulma's direction.

"It's nice to meet you too! Are you both Goku's friends?" Bulma asked.

"Yes. Goku helped my husband escape prison. And only a week ago he helped Boris and I overthrow an evil government regime."

"He  _did_?" Bulma and Vegeta said simultaneously.

"Yes! Goku, don't tell me you haven't mentioned it yet!"

"Hee." Goku clenched Vegeta's hand. "I haven't gotten around to talking about it."

Boris huffed. Bulma tittered and stepped behind Goku. Until now, he hadn't noticed how gigantic Boris was compared to normal people. "Why do you think Goku is wearing all of those medals? For laughs?" Boris asked, a bit too hostile for Goku's comfort.

"He's known for coming back from adventures wearing strange clothing," Vegeta said. The increased pressure of his squeeze on Goku's hand was starting to hurt…

"He is a decorated hero, as well as the official ambassador for our country."

"He is?!" Bulma and Vegeta said, once again in unison.

"Aw, come on. You two make it sound like it's a big deal or something," Goku said, rubbing the back of his skull.

"It  _is_  a big deal." Boris gave Vegeta a harrowing look. "It's nice to officially meet you, Vegeta. I'm sorry Goku didn't tell you this important information sooner."

Slow to the uptake, Vegeta blinked a few times at Boris' face. "…Yes. It's fine with me. Kakarot doesn't reveal a lot about his life unless asked. Isn't that right?" he said, squeezing Goku's hand even tighter.

"Ow, Vegeta."

Boris tilted his head. "Who's 'Kakarot?'"

"Goku," Bulma said automatically.

"Do you both call him that?"

"No. Only Vegeta. It's his pet name for him," Bulma explained, ending her sentence with a coy wink at Goku.

"Ugh, no it isn't! Kakarot is his birth name. His  _real_  name."

"There's nothing wrong with having pet names for your loved ones," Anya said, nodding her head in agreement with Bulma.

"It is kinda like a pet name, huh? Like I'm a carrot," Goku said.

"Goku's hair does resemble the top of a carrot," Boris said, completely serious. "Although Vegeta looks more like a carrot now that I'm looking at you both at the same time."

Goku heard Vegeta growl under his breath.  _Poor 'Geta isn't used to being teased by strangers._

"Goku is very brave. You're lucky to have him," Anya gushed. "Goku, has Vegeta met Yorick yet?"

" _Him_?" Goku laughed. "W-why do you bring him up?"

"He's here too, you know."

"He  _is_? I thought I only transported you two with me!"  _Dammit, I was hoping this didn't happen!_

"Who's Yorick," Vegeta said. It sounded more like a statement. Maybe even an accusation, though Goku wasn't sure what for.

"Uh, he's a vampire I met while I was away. He helped us with the revolution stuff." Goku pointed at Anya. "She's a vampire too. Well, she didn't become one until a week ago. She turned all the tribunal into vampires. Then we banished them to the winter wasteland outside the city."

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Vegeta's patience was wearing thin.

Before Goku could clarify himself, Yorick stepped up to the group conversation from Boris' right. Goku almost cursed out loud. His worst fear had come true: Yorick hadn't bothered to revert to his normal state. He was dressed in his normal winter jacket with the hood tied tightly around his head. But there was no hiding that he looked like a paler, slimmer version of Vegeta.

"Hi," Yorick said. A white burst of winter air swirled out of his mouth.

Vegeta stepped backwards. "What the…Kakarot, what's going on?"

Goku ran his sweaty palm over his face. "Uhm, I can explain!"

"So  _this_  is the famous Vegeta." Yorick sized him up. "You're not exactly how Goku remembered, huh?"

Vegeta raised his fist in the air. "Who the hell are you!"

"Goku's friend." He sniffed in Vegeta's direction. "Ew. Are you in heat or something?"

Vegeta flushed pink. " _Excuse_ me?!"

"You're dripping pheromones everywhere like you're begging to get screwed. It's pretty tacky." He looked askance at Goku. "Does this have something to do with you two being aliens?"

"Ahh…wow." Goku looked back and forth between Bulma's confused expression, Vegeta's embarrassed scowl, and Anya's strained smile. By the erratic way Boris shifted his weight from one foot to the next, he didn't want to be here either. "Yorick, that isn't very nice to say!"

" _I'm_ not the one making everyone uncomfortable with my biology. If Vegeta needed to have sex with you so badly, he should've taken care of it before inviting all these people to a public event he would also attend."

Vegeta snarled. "You son of a—!"

"It's okay, Vegeta! He didn't mean to say it. Um, let me explain." Nervous, Goku rubbed one of his medals between his fingers. "Vampires can take the form of people you know. So he happened to look like you when I first met him. Because I thought about you all of the time!"  _See Vegeta, that sounds romantic, right?_

"I don't like it." Vegeta pointed at Yorick. "Change.  _Now_."

"Nah. I like it." He winked at Goku. "So does your boyfriend."

"Yorick!" Goku yelled. "C'mon, this is Vegeta's big night. And you're being really inconsiderate." Similar to Vegeta, Yorick could be a pain in the ass at all the wrong times. It was endearing in a way. Too bad he and the real Vegeta couldn't get along.  _Hmm. Vegeta and Yorick, at the same time. Now that'd make for a fun night._

"You're lucky I like you, Goku. Or else I'd reveal to everyone what you're thinking about right now."

"And just  _what_  is Kakarot thinking about?" Vegeta cast Goku an accusatory glare. "I don't believe for a second you're smart enough to read minds."

"Come on, Yorick." Goku struggled to keep his panic at bay with a huge smile. "You didn't come this whole way to make fun of me, did you?"

Yorick rolled his eyes. "Sorry." He shoved his hands in his coat pockets. "In all seriousness, Vegeta. Your artwork is spectacular. I'm impressed."

" _Thanks,"_ Vegeta spat.

"Woo boy, it's great fun meeting new people, huh?" Goku laughed.

A gentle poke in his back interrupted the awkward moment. "Uncle Goku, may I speak with you outside?"

"Thank Dende. Sure, kid." He waved at all his friends and left them to make small talk among themselves.  _I hope Yorick doesn't do anything else to piss Vegeta off._

Marron handed him his crutches and led them outside the gallery. Next to the entrance they found and sat on a wrought iron bench that barely fit them both. "He was lonely the whole time you were gone," Marron said softly. She rummaged around inside her purse. "But he focused on changing, too."

"I can tell." Goku reclined on the bench, drumming his fingers idly against the armrest. "He's something else, huh?"

Marron nodded. "What's hanging in the gallery is only a fraction of all the work he's done. Ah, found it!" She yanked a small velvet box from the depths of her bag. "I spent a long time looking for this thing."

Goku looked down into her lap. "What's that?"

She popped the box open. "The ring you gave him a year ago!"

"NO WAY!" Goku wrapped his arms around her. "How did you ever find this?"

"Lots of diligence. And digging around in knee-deep snow." She placed the tiny box into his hand. "I worked hard on this thing. Don't let him throw it away again!"

"I won't." Goku admired the ring's perfectly crafted shape. Inside his palm it sparkled with the same otherworldly light as a distant galaxy. "How should I give it back to him?"

"Maybe you could ask him to be your mate?" She sighed. "Then you could give him the ring like a proposal. That'd be so romantic!"

Goku blinked. "How do you know what mating is?"

"Oh! Um, Uncle Vegeta mentioned it. In passing."

"He  _did_? _"_ Goku bounced up and down like a puppy wagging its tail. "What did he say about it?"

"Um, nothing really. He said something about you wanting to mate with him, but not much more than that."

Goku's face fell. "Oh."

"B-but you should talk to him about it again!" Marron shook him back and forth. "You never know, he could feel differently now!"

"Yikes. Don't hurt me, Marron."

"Sorry." She placed her hands back in her lap. "I get too excited sometimes. I just start thinking about you two getting together and having kids and how it'd be the cutest thing ever!"

"Heh. I don't think Vegeta likes kids."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"What do you mean?"

Marron leaned to peek through the glass gallery entrance. "Take a look right now!"

Goku turned his head and peered past the entrance into the gallery. Vegeta was far away, but Goku could tell he was speaking with Gohan and Videl. Vegeta had a strange look of contentment on his face Goku didn't recognize. "Hey Marron, what's he doin' in there?"

"He's holding Pan."

Goku craned his neck further back for a clearer view of such a miraculous event. "No. I don't believe it! He's—he's even giving her eskimo kisses!"

"They're cute together, right?"

Goku frowned. "What did you guys do to him while I was gone?"

"Haha." A dreamy look overcame her. "So are you going to do it? Propose?"

"Psh! I'm not proposing. He wouldn't get married to anyone."

"You know what I mean. Ask him to be your mate!"

Goku shoved the ring box into his pants pocket. "We'll see. Maybe I'll get lucky tonight and we'll talk about it."

"Luck doesn't have anything to do with it." Her bottom lip quivered. "Is he going back home with you today?"

"I'm planning on it."

"That's wonderful."

"Aw, Marron. Don't cry…"

She covered her face. "He's helped  _me_  out in the past year too. I love Uncle Vegeta." A burst of courage overcame her; she glared at Goku with a fire in her eye. "Treat him well, okay?"

Goku rubbed her back. Not in a million years did he think Vegeta could make a teenage girl mourn his absence. "I will."

In one fluid motion, Marron pulled a tissue from her purse and blew her nose with it. "Thanks." Red blotches stained her youthful face. "Will I still get to see you two often?"

"Yeah! We can come over all the time if you want. You can visit us, too."

"That's awesome," she sniffled.

Goku perked at the sound of someone coughing behind him. He peered over his shoulder. "Piccolo, is that you?"

"Hey. Welcome back." The Namekian lifted his hand in acknowledgment.

"Why are you hiding in the bushes?" Marron asked.

"I'm not  _hiding_!" Piccolo grumbled and walked toward the bench. There wasn't any room for him to sit, so he crossed his legs and levitated above the ground beside Goku. "It's way too crowded in there."

"I didn't know you liked art!" Goku said, nudging Piccolo in the ribs with his elbow.

"Stop it. And I don't. I'm only here to support Vegeta."

" _You_? Supporting Vegeta?"

"Don't act so surprised. In your absence I had to be his sparring partner."

"Huh." Goku raised a brow. "I hope he's less grabby when he spars with  _you_."

Piccolo smirked. "Are you jealous?"

"Nah, that's not it. It's just whenIspar with Vegeta, it typically ends with less hitting and more making out."

"Huh?"

Marron laughed. "Piccolo is nice! He kept Uncle company while you were gone."

"That's right." Piccolo scanned the perimeter for any eavesdropping busybodies. "By the way. Have you noticed anything  _odd_  about Vegeta yet?"

Goku followed his lead and whipped his head back and forth to find whoever these imaginary people were Piccolo feared. "Odd? No. He seems good to me."

"He's gained some weight."

"Oh! You mean the junk in the trunk?" Goku made a suggestive grabbing motion with his fingers. "How could anyone miss that?"

Marron gasped. "Just because Uncle may have gained a pound or two—"

"He's packing more than a pound or two in those jeans!"

Piccolo groaned. "Goku. I'm trying to tell you something important—"

"I mean, now that I'm back I'll let him do side bends and sit-ups, but—"

"Goku,  _please_ —"

"Now I understand why Master Roshi made a big deal about puff-puff. I want to do that to Vegeta's—"

"GOKU!" Piccolo grabbed his shoulder. "What I've been  _trying_  to say is that Vegeta has a different smell as well."

"Ooh, yeah! I noticed. It smells great, right?"

Piccolo released his death grip on Goku, shaking his head in disgust. "Make sure you ask him about it, okay?"

Goku shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

"I'm serious. I think he's—"

"Son Goku!" Boris and Anya walked out of the gallery toward them. Trailing behind them with a peevish frown on his face was Yorick. Once closer, Anya brushed her fingertips over Goku's shoulders. "We're leaving," she said.

"Already?"

"Yes. But we'll see you tomorrow at your friend Piccolo's show." She glanced at Piccolo and smiled. "Isn't that right?"

"Uh. Right."

"Piccolo's going to be on TV?" Goku asked.

"Yep. There's some lady that's in love with him that wants to meet him!" Marron said. "It's so sweet how everyone is falling in love these days…"

Piccolo rubbed his temples. "I'm not in love with anyone!"

Goku ignored all of Piccolo's dramatic huffing. "Where are you guys staying tonight?"

"In a hotel nearby," Anya said. She took Goku's hand in her own. "Once Vegeta is a bit less overwhelmed, I'd like to speak with you both about something important. It's time to repay you for all of the help you gave us during the past year."

"You don't have to pay me back," Goku said. "I'm happy you two are leaders of a nation now. It's pretty cool, huh?"

"Yes. Very cool." Boris pat Goku on the back. The gesture warmed Goku's heart, as he knew Boris disliked physical affection apart from what he showed his wife. "We're going to make sure it was worth your time. We'll talk tomorrow. Be sure to get a senzu bean from one of your friends so your leg can heal up, too."

"Definitely." Goku watched the couple walk away hand-in-hand. Yorick lingered behind to leer at him a bit longer than he liked. "Will I see you tomorrow too?" Goku asked.

"Yeah. I'll still be around."

"Are you going to the hotel with Anya and Boris?"

Yorick rubbed his hands together. Goku couldn't fathom how he could be cold in the summer heat. "No. I'm going to hang out with one of your friends later tonight."

"Huh? Who?"

"Heeey, Goku!" Yamcha walked up behind him and slapped him on the back. Hard. Goku coughed. "What's up?"

"Yamcha! I missed you!" Goku smiled back and forth between Yamcha and Yorick. "Uh, do you two know each other already?"

"Yep. We talked a lot inside. By the way, that naked picture of you is  _bangin_ '. Vegeta should do commissions."

"Hehe. I'll be sure to tell him that."

"Anyway," Yorick said, stretching his arms in the air and fake-yawning, "time for us to go."

Goku held his hand out. "Yamcha, wait!" How could he say this without offending Yorick? "Um, be sure to…protect yourself tonight. Because he's a…you know…"

"Goku, that's incredibly rude!" Yorick pressed his finger into Goku's forehead. "I wouldn't bite one of your friends! Unless he asked me to."

Yamcha laughed. Goku didn't know if he was oblivious to the situation, or just didn't care. "You and Vegeta want to hang out with us too?"

"Uh, no thanks!" Goku blushed. "I don't think we'll be doing  _that_  again for a while!"

Marron tilted her head. "What are you all talking about?"

Yorick took Yamcha's hand and pulled him away down the sidewalk. The vampire skittered away so fast, Goku barely heard him utter goodbye.

"Whew." Goku wiped his brow. "I'm glad they're all gone. Now I can finally get rid of this stupid thing." He stood up and unbuckled his pants.

Marron shielded her eyes with her purse. "Uncle Goku! What are you doing?"

He wiggled his hips, allowing his pants to drop to his ankles. "Don't worry, this'll only take a second."

A high-pitch yelp distracted him from his task. "KAKAROT!"

He turned around. "Oh, hey Vegeta!"

Vegeta stomped out of the gallery with his teeth bared. "What the  _hell_  are you doing out here?!"

"Just takin' this thing off." Goku leaned down and cracked open his cast. He tossed it into the grass. "This is much better!" Relieved, he pulled his pants back up.

"What the—?!"

Marron stole a look over the top of her purse. "Your leg wasn't really broken?"

Goku sat down again and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "No way. How would that even happen?"

Vegeta shoved Goku over on the bench and squeezed himself into the tiny space available. "Explain yourself."

Goku tapped his chin. "Boris kept asking me to help with setting up their new government. You know, boring stuff like throwing the tribunal out of the city, meeting all the people under the jurisdiction, doing paperwork, yada yada yada…"

"But what about the  _cast_?"

"Right! So I pretended I broke my leg so I had a reason to leave and come home sooner."

"You're  _joking_."

"I wish I was! I hate lying to people. Anya and Yorick even helped me fake my fall down three flights of stairs."

Vegeta wrinkled his nose. "I find it hard to believe he's stupid enough to think you got hurt. How long did you wear the cast for?"

"For the past week. Boris saw how useless I was when I couldn't walk around. All I could think about was getting back here to you."

Vegeta sighed. "Kakarot, I love you."

"I love you too, but what does that have to do with me wearing a cast?" Vegeta nuzzled his face into Goku's neck, tickling the larger Saiyan with his light breathing. Goku laughed. "Do you love me more now that I can walk again?"

"Shut-up." Vegeta bit into his neck.

"You're gonna hurt me if you keep that up. Then I'll have to hurt you back."

Marron cleared her throat. "I'm going to leave you two alone and go back in the gallery." She gave Vegeta a thumbs up. "Thank you for letting me live this night, Uncle Vegeta. You're the best."

"Don't be ridiculous. This never would've happened without you." Without warning, Vegeta leaned forward and wrapped both her and Goku into a tight hug.

"Aww," Goku said. "I love you both."

"This hurts, Uncle Vegeta!"

"You two just enjoy it while it lasts."

* * *

The next few hours of Vegeta's life were spent mingling with gallery patrons and fighting off any probing questions about his "artistic intent." He didn't possess the social aptitude to comfortably chat with strangers. For every person that hunted him down to pick his brain, he rebuffed them with as few words as possible.

"Why did you decide to merge fine art and comics? Isn't that like combining the lowbrow with the highbrow?"

"No."

"What language did you use for the writing in the speech bubbles?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Are the stories depicted in your work inspired by real events?"

"Maybe."

"Were you influenced by Roy Lichtenstein?"

"I don't do pop art."

"Hey! The bald guy in  _this_ painting looks like  _that_ guy standing over  _there_. Is that really him?"

"Yes."

"The color palettes used in your paintings are unusual. What led you to make those design choices?"

"It just happened that way."

"Is the spiky-haired guy eating all the refreshments your lover?"

"Um…"

"Can you give me an autograph on my boobs?"

"Absolutely not."

"What are you going to make next?"

"I'm not sure."

"Who's your hair stylist?"

"Huh?"

"Are you single?"

"No!"

"Is  _that_ guy single?"

"No, he's  _mine_."

"Will you teach me how to draw?"

"Teach yourself."

"Will you teach me how to dougie?"

"Teach you how to  _what_?"

"Looking at your work makes me happy."

"I—oh. Thank you…"

When gallery hours ended, several guards had to push everyone outside to the front lawn. Vegeta and Goku lingered behind as one of the gallery attendants ran around switching all the lights off.

"The show is going to run for the next month," Vegeta said. He held Goku's hand again.

"I'm proud of you, Vegeta." Goku bent over. "Um…"

"You're hungry."

"Yes!"

"I'll take you out somewhere."

"Yay! I love you!"

* * *

The two ducked into a ramen place around the block from the gallery. Vegeta's silence throughout their meal fascinated Goku—he'd expected them both to go on and on about what transpired during their year apart. Didn't Vegeta care? Instead, the Prince only took breaks from slurping down his noodles to observe Goku in reverent silence. The smoldering glances sent his way engrossed Goku more than any idle chitchat could.

Eventually, Vegeta broke their silence. "Do you want to go to the island near your house?"

"Sure. Why?"

"I need to be with you alone."

"That sounds good," Goku said. Vegeta paid for the food, and they flew away from the city into the night.

The flight didn't take long. Soon they landed on the shores of the crescent-shaped isle in the middle of the ocean. Moonlight shimmered and refracted on the gentle tide rolling in.

Out in the middle of nowhere, it was considerably colder. "I keep some backup blankets here somewhere. Gimme a sec," Goku said. A few minutes later he pulled a large cooler out from between a cluster of rocks.

Vegeta smiled. "You keep them in there?"

"Yeah. Along with spare booze." He pulled two hefty blankets out of the cooler and flapped the sand out of them. After he finished, he let them float down and spread evenly across the sandy ground. "C'mere and keep me warm, Vegeta."

Vegeta picked up a nearby stick and trailed it behind him in the sand. He plopped down next to Goku, his eyes glued to the sky. "It's fucking beautiful out here."

"You really like it, huh?"

"Yes." He paused. "This spot is where we first kissed."

"I remember. It really hurt."

Shivering, Vegeta wrapped the extra blanket over his shoulders. "Do you see us coming back to this place for the rest of our lives?"

Goku stole a bit of the blanket for himself. "I hope so."

"Mm." Vegeta traced his stick in the sand. He wrote several unintelligible symbols Goku didn't recognize. The inflection in his voice changed. "Are you happy your friends are fond of me now?"

"Oh yeah. You're Mr. Popular over here."

"Funny."

"And your hair grew again while I was gone."

Vegeta shrugged. "There are more important things than my hair."

 _Wow. Never thought I'd hear that._ Goku slid his hands onto Vegeta's shoulders and gave him a gentle massage. "Would you saaay," he teased, "all of our friends approve of us being together now?"

Vegeta nodded. "I do."

"Wow!" Goku beamed. "So that means—"

"It means if we wanted to finish the ritual and mate right now, we could." Vegeta dropped his stick in the sand and admired his work. "Do you know what this says, Kakarot?"

Goku sighed, frustrated in the sudden change of topic. "No?"

"It's in our mother language."

"…Okay?"

"It says, 'I will happily die in battle for you.'"

"Ah." Goku paused. "Thank you?"

Vegeta punched him in the arm. "It's the closest thing in our language to saying, 'I love you.'"

"Huh. In that case, I will happily die in battle for you, Vegeta!"

"Ha." Vegeta threw the stick far away into the grass further up the shore. "I'll have to teach you how to read our language one day."

Goku ran his hand across Vegeta's thigh. The warmth there calmed him. "While we're on the subject of Saiyan culture, I was wondering if you wanted to talk more about—"

"Mating. You want to know if I'm interested."

"Yeah!"

Vegeta leaned his head against Goku's chest. "What makes you think you still want to mate with me? You don't even know all of the details involved."

"I get to be joined with you forever, right?"

"That's right." Vegeta's wandering fingers invaded Goku's breast pocket. "But maybe being stuck with me wouldn't be so great in the long run."

"Of  _course_  I want to be stuck with you." He leaned backwards and let Vegeta stroke and prod his body more. The somber look on his face made Goku unsure if this was foreplay. "Do you want to be stuck with  _me_?"

"Mm. That's the question of the hour, isn't it?" Vegeta popped open the top button of Goku's uniform.

Goku gulped. "Yeah?"

"Don't you want to know what happens right _after_  we become mates?"

"Uh-huh…"

Slowly, Vegeta trailed his lips around the shell of Goku's ear. "We both enter a state of pure rapture. Then we fuck for a day straight. Even if we want to stop, we won't be able to."

"Sounds good to me," Goku said. He ignored the way his voice cracked.

"I'm sure it does." Vegeta licked his hand and unzipped Goku's fly with the other. Without needing any more encouragement, Goku spread his thighs and allowed Vegeta to dip his hand past the slit in his underwear. "But there's one thing we'd have to do beforehand."

"Before whuh?" Cool air surrounded his crotch. Vegeta had freed him from the tight confines of his pants.

"Before we have sex for the first time after becoming mates. Are you paying close attention?"

"Mm-hmm." Goku gasped at the sudden pressure on his cock. The tip of Vegeta's thumb rubbed small circles through his precum, then smeared it around his head. "Yeah, I'm listenin'  _reeal_  hard right now."

Vegeta sighed, admiring Goku's struggle to string a simple sentence together. "We both have to give each other tattoos. To show ownership over one another."

Goku grabbed onto the blanket under him for dear life. "That's  _great_ , Vegeta."

"Did you even hear what I said?"

"Yesss. I did."

"Do you want to have sex with me right now?"

"More than anything!"

"How do you want it?"

"Um…I want to eat you out. Then I want you to ride me."

"And  _why_  do you want to do that?"

 _What do you mean, why?!_  Goku groaned. "Because it would feel good?"

"Why would it feel good?"

 _Shit!_ Goku squirmed while Vegeta continued to pump him. "Um, uh," he muttered, licking his lips, "because you're hot and tight?"

"What difference does that make?"

"Vegeta!" he yelled, the exhilaration of his anger and pleasure driving him into a frenzy, "I just wanna come inside you!"

Vegeta stroked Goku's tip in his snug palm. Soft slicking noises filled the air. "Sell it to me. Make it sound dirtier."

The blanket ripped in between Goku's clenched fingers. "Dirtier? Hoow?"

Vegeta quickened his hand. "Use your imagination!"

"Uunh." Goku searched his mind for the right words. "I want to—ahh—come in your butt?"

"What are you, twelve? Describe it to me like you're a grown man."

"Dammit, Vegeta." Goku clenched his eyes shut. "I want—"

"What's that? Speak up."

"I wanna—ooh—!"

"I can't  _hear_  you, Kakarot!"

"I wanna e-empty my balls inside your tight asshole!" He lifted his hips up from the blanket and shot all over Vegeta's hand. Groaning, he rode out his orgasm with Vegeta still pumping him. All the pleasure gathered in his abdomen and radiated out to the rest of his body; a tingling sensation lingered in his toes after the initial wave left him.

He sighed. The adrenaline coursing through his veins make him break out in a sweat. "Shit."

Vegeta wiped his hand clean on the blanket. "Really, Kakarot? You came that fast from a simple hand job?" He clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Congratulations. That took a whole minute. A new record."

"No. That took a year," Goku said with a small laugh. Vegeta crawled into his lap, and Goku lazily nuzzled his face in his hair. "Why do you like teasing me?"

"You're adorable when you're frustrated and horny." Vegeta licked a path from Goku's chin to his mouth, ending the trail with a kiss. "I'd forgotten how much fun you are."

"Yeah, I'm real funny. Wanna bang?"

"You  _just_ came."

"Give me a few minutes. I'm still offering that free ride." Goku stuck his tongue out and bounced Vegeta up and down on his lap.

Vegeta held onto his jacket lapels. "Pervert!"

"Aww, come on. I know you want it bad like me. It's been a year!"

"If you manage to get sex off your brain for a few seconds, you'll realize what it was I told you earlier."

Goku tapped the side of his head in thought. "Right. Something about…tattoos?"

"Yes." Meticulous hands ran over Goku's chest to readjust his medals to their proper positions. Vegeta's strange behavior mystified him. For some reason his partner was dancing around whatever point he was trying to make, and Goku had to figure out why. His new scent was driving Goku up a wall, too. " _If_ we become mates," Vegeta said, "we must give each other tattoos before having sex for the first time."

"Okay. That sounds easy enough."

"Do you know  _how_  tattoos are made?"

"No?"

"With needles."

Goku wheezed. "What do you mean with  _needles_?"

"Calm down, Kakarot." Vegeta held both sides of his scared face. "It takes a long time, and it's painful. But I know you could handle it."

"Oh gods Vegeta, I didn't know needles would be involved!" Goku nipped at his fingernails. "Is it really that important to get tattoos?"

Vegeta glared at him. "Yes."

"Oh man. That's terrible!" A horrible look of disappointment flashed across Vegeta's face. Goku struggled to correct himself. "I mean, if it's necessary to do—"

"We're supposed to put the symbols of our respective tribes on each other. So—hypothetically—I would put the Vegeta royal family crest on  _your_  body." Vegeta looked up at the moon. "If our society still existed, you'd ascend from your ranking of third class to royalty."

Goku's nervousness left him. "Really?"

"Yes. On Planet Vegeta, mating was a big deal for the royal family." He brushed a stray lock of hair out of Goku's face. "And a third-class becoming life partners with the prince? That was unheard of."

Goku was slow to change, but he wasn't completely obstinate. "Okay. So what tattoo would I put on  _you_?"

"The Son family symbol would be most appropriate."

"Vegeta! You'd become part of my family?"

Vegeta smiled. "Does that possibility make you happy?"

"Yes!" Goku tilted his head, as if looking at Vegeta in a new light. "You're different."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. It's—it's a  _good_  thing." Goku leaned forward and stroked Vegeta's cheek. "You _smell_  different too. It's hard to explain. But it makes me want to…I dunno. Bathe in it?"

He expected a derisive laugh, but instead Vegeta blushed. "That reminds me of something else I need to discuss with you."

"It doesn't have anything to do with more needles, does it?"

Vegeta worried one of Goku's medals between his fingers until it squeaked from the pressure. "Kakarot. Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if we had a family?"

"What do you mean? I guess I always saw you, me, and Goten as kind of a family. When we did live together, that is."

Vegeta sighed. What about this topic made him so uncomfortable? "Do you remember," Vegeta said, voice low, "when I told you Saiyan men could carry children if they become submissive mates?"

"Yeah. I can't imagine what that'd be like!" Goku flopped onto his back and spread his limbs across the blanket. Above him, Vegeta straddled his waist. "Sounds pretty weird to me."

"Yes. It is strange for _this_ planet."

"Why do you bring it up?" Vegeta remained silent. Goku couldn't decipher the look on his face at  _all_. Which alarmed him. "Spell it out for me, sweetie."

"I want to have a child with you."

"What?" Goku shot up from the blanket. "Are you for real?"

 _There_. Now Goku knew what that look was on Vegeta's face. It was shame. "Yes, Kakarot, I am for real."

"Wow." Goku grimaced. "That's… _interesting_."

Vegeta threw his arm over his face. "I'm sorry I ever brought it up."

"No, don't be sorry!" Goku laughed, even though he didn't find anything about the conversation to be funny at all. "I just need a second to digest what you said, okay?" He giggled nervously.  _Sweet Kami, he's not pulling a prank on me, is he?_

"It's fine if you don't want to have a child with me."

Goku gnawed at his lip. "I didn't say that! It just seems like, uh— the whole experience would be super weird, right? Two guys with a baby?" Goku grasped his forehead. "And me, with another kid? Geez…That sounds tough."

Vegeta's eyes wandered away from Goku's face up to the sky. He didn't grace him with a response to all his blathering.

"You've thought about this a lot, haven't you," Goku said.

"Unfortunately."

"You really—" Goku twiddled his thumbs together. "You really want me to be the father of your child?"

"Someday. Yes."

Goku's eyes widened.  _If that's true, then in so many words he's telling me he wants to…!_ A lazy smile spread across his face. "You think I'd be a good dad for our kid?"

Vegeta scoffed. "Do you think I'd let any idiot father my children? Of course I think you'd be a good father. Especially to a Saiyan child."

"I didn't know you felt that way about me."

"Well, I  _do_!" Goku could tell Vegeta wanted to respond with something snarky. But the Prince had made himself so vulnerable to what his real intentions were, he couldn't risk it.

Goku blinked. "Okay."

"Okay  _what_?"

He hugged Vegeta's waist. "Let's have a baby!"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Not at all. I'll have a baby with you if you want." He tugged Vegeta's belt buckle loose. "Let's get to it!"

"Kakarot!" Vegeta pushed Goku away until he fell backwards onto the blanket again. "This is all, um, hypothetical, you know! That's what I meant to say!"

"Whatever!" Happy, Goku pulled Vegeta down with him. "Then let's hypothetically do some baby makin'!"

"We can't, not right now, and not like this!"

Goku pouted. "Why not?"

"We'd have to mate first! And I don't want to have a child right  _now_ , per say—"

"Then let's mate." Goku bounced Vegeta on his lap again. "Let's do it right now. My body's ready!"

"We can't!"

"Why not? You don't like me enough?"

"No—that's not it." Vegeta blew out a puff of air in frustration. "It's not the right—I'm not ready yet!"

" _Yet?_ So you  _do_  want to mate with me!"

Vegeta growled. "Stop pissing me off, Kakarot!"

"Okay, okay." Goku released him from his grip. Vegeta rolled off his hips onto the blanket, muttering curses under his breath. Goku smiled up at him. "But you can't deny my love for much longer. I  _will_  have you to myself soon enough!"

"Whatever." Vegeta brushed the sand off his jeans. "I'm leaving."

"Aw, come on. Don't be like that." Goku followed his lead and stood up. He stuffed himself back into his pants and zipped up his fly. "Please don't go. Don't you want to come back home with me?"

Vegeta exhaled. "I want to spend the night with you so badly."

"Then just  _do_  it. Like the commercials say."

"Kakarot," he said barely above a whisper. "Do you need me right now?"

"Yes!" Goku embraced him, enjoying every firm contour Vegeta pressed against his body. "Can't you feel it?"

"If you're talking about your dick, then yes. I can feel that."

"No, not _that_. It's like—" Goku laced his fingers with Vegeta's. "I need to feel you next to me while I go to sleep. I need to see your face all the time. And I need…I dunno, I need you  _with_  me. It doesn't feel right any other way. Do that makes sense?"

"Yes. One hundred percent."

"Good. Then let's get naked."

"You're absolutely ravenous."

"I shouldn't be the only one!"

Vegeta laughed. "I have some other business to take care of. I'll come back with you tomorrow night."

Goku glared down at him. He missed moments like this where he could study his lover's features to his heart's content. Vegeta wasstill blushing from earlier. "I  _guess_ I can go one more night without you. But I'm not happy about it."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I might take it out of your ass later, if you know what I mean."

"I'd like to know what repayment to  _you_ feels like."

Goku's frustration was fleeting. He thought back to earlier in the night. "Can I have one of your pieces of art, then?"

"Of course. And I'm not going to stop making it just because you're back."

"Good. Guess I have to build you a studio, then."

Vegeta's eyes widened. "You'd do that for me?"

"Duh. I have to. Where else are you going to work?"

Vegeta smiled. "Thank you, Kakarot. I, erm…" He stared down at his feet. "I'm grateful to have you around. I love you."

Goku lifted his chin so their eyes met again. "I love you too. More than anything. You'd be dead without me. Literally."

"I know." Vegeta leaned up on his tippy toes and kissed Goku. "I'll see you tomorrow at the show."

"What show?"

"Weren't you paying any attention earlier? Piccolo's going to be on that Announcer guy's TV show."

"Oh yeah!" Unable to pull himself away just yet, Goku grabbed onto Vegeta's sleeve. "After that, will you come home with me?"

"Yes. I'll be ready then." The silence of the night weighed heavily between them. "I'll miss you."

"Sure you don't want me to come over to Krillin's house?"

Vegeta chuckled. "He'll get mad at us again for having sex."

"Yeah, you're right." Goku growled. "Before you go, are you suure you don't wanna—"

"Be  _patient_ , Kakarot." He placed his finger on Goku's nose. "Good things come to those who wait." He turned away, and flew off into the star-speckled sky.

Goku gazed up at him until he disappeared from sight. "When did he get so smooth?"


	20. Part Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the first time I’ve laughed out loud in the middle of writing a chapter for this story. 
> 
> Only one more part left after this!

 Marron slumped backwards against the door of her studio. "He's been alone in there for hours. What's he  _doing_?"

"I'm not sure how Goku puts up with someone so mysterious." Android 18 wrapped her arm around Krillin and pressed her cheek against his cool head. It was only dawn, but the humid air already bearing down on them promised a heat wave later in the day. She smiled. "I'm surprised you're not in there with him, Marron."

"He told me I wasn't allowed."

"If he doesn't get out here soon, I'm going to eat his breakfast." Krillin used his chopsticks to pick at the large bowl of rice and natto in his hand. A fried egg dangled from his mouth. "I'm going to be ticked if we miss Piccolo's big day."

Marron gasped at the sudden pressure against her back. She jumped up and away from the opening basement door. Vegeta stepped outside clutching a large sketchbook. "Oh. I didn't know you were all waiting for me."

"We can't leave without your highness." 18 watched Krillin finish off Vegeta's breakfast. "Hope you're not hungry."

Vegeta's eyes darted back and forth. "I have a gift for you all."

Marron dashed to his side. "Really?" She latched onto his arm. "What is it?"

Struggling with Marron's added weight, Vegeta walked toward Krillin and 18. "I can't thank you enough for letting me stay here for the past year. I like to think of you all as part of my family now."

"D'aww," Krillin said, "Vegeta's gettin' all  _sappy_  on us!"

"Yes." Vegeta cleared his throat. "Over the past year I've been wondering how to express my gratitude. So I worked on this every night." He shoved the sketchbook into 18's hands.

She flipped through the pages. "Whoa. This is a manga."

Marron flew away from Vegeta to peer over her mother's shoulder. "Hey, there's Dad!"

Vegeta nodded toward 18. "It's an alternative telling of how you and Krillin met."

18 lifted her head. Her steely blue eyes bore into him. "Why did you make this?"

"I—" he cleared his throat again. Marron found all of his bashfulness this morning a tad strange. "I like how you and Krillin…um. I think the way you two interact is _sweet_." He looked away and muttered, "I want a relationship like you two have."

"Damn." Krillin stared down at his empty bowl. "Now I feel bad I ate your breakfast, bro."

"Anyway," Vegeta said, raising his voice again, "It's about how a child from space named Marron travels to Earth and helps unite a man and a cyborg woman."

For the first time in her life, Marron witnessed her mother blush. She used the opportunity to snag the sketchbook away from 18's shaking hands. "I want to see what I look like!"

"It's not perfectly cleaned up," Vegeta said.

Marron ran her fingers over the lines of ink on the first page. The underdrawings were still visible. "I think you should publish this, Uncle."

"I'll let you read it first. I'm sure it needs improvements. It's the first comic I've drawn where people speak a human language, after all." His attention wandered away up toward the second story of the house. "Is it okay if I leave some of my things here until I get more space at Kakarot's house? There's no way my comic collection is going to fit there. Or all of my artwork."

"Sure!" Krillin said. He stole the sketchbook away from Marron. "Some of those comics are  _mine_ , anyway." He distracted himself with flipping through the pages of the manga. "Whoa, I look  _really_ cool in this panel!"

Marron raised her brow. "I thought you were gathering all your stuff the whole time you were in my studio?"

"No…"

"Then what were you doing down there?"

"I'm going to get all of my clothes before we leave." He walked away toward the patio doors.

Marron automatically followed in step behind his brisk pace. "W-wait! What's going on?"

"Nothing. Sorry to keep you waiting a bit longer. I'll be right back."

* * *

Once more, he was abandoning a place he considered to be his home.

It didn't take long to pack all of his clothes. He never was the type to possess a large wardrobe. But he was shocked to see everything  _else_  he'd accumulated over the course of a year. A bookshelf the length of the room sat full of comics and books. Cases and cases of paints, brushes, pens, pencils, and markers sat in piles on the floor. Dozens of sketchbooks littered his bed. They were even neatly arranged in a halo around where he normally slept.

None of the junk had anything to do with fighting. It boggled his mind.

He threw his last pair of shorts into his duffle bag and zipped it closed. The sudden shift in the air pressure around him didn't faze him at all. "Hello, Father."

King Vegeta sat with his legs crossed on what was about to become Vegeta's old desk. **" _You_ seem to be in high spirits today."**

Vegeta pulled a sweater over his head. "I am."

**"What in the world? Isn't it hot outside? Why are you wearing that?"**

"How would  _you_  know how hot it is? You're dead."

King Vegeta brushed off the comment. Excitedly, he rubbed his hands together. **"It doesn't matter. I didn't come to chat about the weather. You only have one curse left on you, boy. Do you feel any different now that it's almost over?"**

Vegeta bent over and grabbed onto his ankles to stretch. "You could say I feel lighter." He rose again, stretching his left arm over his head.

**"What's with the stupid smile on your face?"**

Self-conscious, Vegeta touched his mouth. "I don't know what you mean."

 **"And you're blushing like a schoolgirl!"** King Vegeta leaned toward his son and scrutinized him with narrow eyes. **"What's going on? What are you hiding from me?"**

"I'm not hiding anything, Father."

**"At this point in our visits you're usually screaming at me. What gives? Does this have something to do with Kakarot?"**

"You could say that."

 **"You—you look positively _moonstruck_."** King Vegeta shook his head. **"It's unbecoming of you. Stop it."**

"Whatever." Vegeta slung his bag over his shoulder and ran to the ledge of his open window. "I have to go."

 **"W-wait!"** King Vegeta clawed his ghostly hand through the air. **"I didn't get to tell you—"**

"What is it you need to say? I'm in a hurry." Vegeta placed one foot on the ledge and stretched his thigh.

 **"I'm, uh,"** King Vegeta stammered, **"I'm proud of you. Good job."**

"Heh." Vegeta leapt out the window.

* * *

"…And that's how Blondie and I ended up in the middle of a gunfight outside a hostel in Istanbul."

Goku massaged his eyelids. Waking up early hadn't been difficult. It was digesting the full length of Bulma's insane story at such an early hour that taxed him. "Wow," he said, "I didn't expect you two to meet like  _that_."

"It was all pretty unexpected. But exciting!" They both lounged in a gazebo on the Capsule Corp property eating a huge catered breakfast. Bulma downed the rest of her mimosa. "I haven't had a chance to go on adventures like that since we were kids."

"We  _did_  get shot at a lot back in the day, huh?" Goku shoved another piece of toast between his lips. The past year he'd longed to eat freshly toasted loaves of bread with jam. And cooked sausage. And eggs. And pancakes—

"Goku, did you hear anything I just said?"

"Huh?" He swallowed the wedge of French toast in his mouth.  _I don't even remember eating that…_

"I  _said_  I wanted to thank you. For that awkward phone call a year ago."

He winced. "You do? Why?"

"Because—well, this is kind of awkward to tell you a year after the fact, but I thought you should know." Across the table she took his hands into her own. "Vegeta and I almost had sex the day after you two broke up." She squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation of the worst.

"I already knew that, Bulma."

She leaned away. "He told you?"

"Yep." Goku dropped her hands and returned his attention to spearing more sausage with his fork. "Did you know this was my favorite?" The moment the meat landed on his tongue his eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Ooh my gawd—"

"Goku, this is serious!"

"Oh. Sowwy." He swallowed and returned back to Earth.

"Sometimes you can be such a space cadet." Bulma ran her finger around the rim of her champagne glass. "What I'm  _trying_  to get across is that I was in denial about Vegeta. I missed him. A lot." A weak smile dimpled her otherwise smooth face. "But because of the call, I finally got the chance to move on. Thank you, Goku."

Did his threesome butt dial seriously lead Bulma down a path of redemption? "Er, no problem. Now that I think about it, I should thank you, too."

"What for?"

"For the List. And for almost having sex with Vegeta."

"Are you pulling my leg?"

"If it weren't for those two things, Vegeta wouldn't have changed so much."

"Ha!" She slammed her hands down on the tablecloth, shaking all the glass platters filled with food. "That has nothing to do with me, buddy. I was with the man for years and he never did stuff like that for me!"

Goku shrugged. "That's true. But you did help push him over the edge."

Bulma grinned. "I guess so." She leaned back and crossed her arms. "I know he got pissed about the whole 'List' thing, but do you ever plan on finishing it?" She winked. "I know all along you wanted him to do that naughty thing with you."

Goku choked on the pancake stuffed in his mouth. "Geez. I couldn't help myself, Bulma!" He wrung his hands together.  _I hope it's okay to still talk about this stuff around her._ "On the night of our date he bottomed for me."

"GOKU!" she slapped his knee.

"Ow!"

"You were supposed to wait until the last step so he'd beg for it!"

"But he  _did_  beg for it." He focused on the myriad of colorful fruit on the table, hoping Bulma didn't notice how flushed he was. "You know how pushy he can be. Vegeta gets what Vegeta wants."

"Sounds more like  _Goku_ gets what Goku wants. I think that man would jump over the moon for you."

"Hehe. It does seem like he made a huge effort to get close with all of our friends. I think he wanted a year to finish the List himself."

She clicked her tongue. "That throws all of my seduction methods into question. Now I have to go back to the drawing board and think up something new for getting boyfriends to do what I want!"

"Bulma, you already have the Announcer guy!"

"And? I can still conceive new ways to bend his will to my liking, right?"

Goku shook his head in defeat.  _I hope he likes this side of her._

She laughed to herself while finishing up her own plate of food. "Anyway, I can't believe how great of an artist Vegeta became in the past year. Trunks told me he was good, but I had no idea. And to think, Vegeta thought he could keep a secret from  _me_." Using her thumb and forefinger, she widened her right eyelid. "I've got eyes and ears everywhere!"

 _Don't I know it._  Seeing Bulma be her bright, energetic self again warmed him. "Even though Vegeta was nervous last night, I think he was happy you did him that favor."

"It's like you said, Son. He just needs to be shoved off a cliff once in a while. Looking over the edge is always worse than the actual plunge." She sucked down her last drink and pushed her chair out from beneath the table. "Enough chitchat, dude. Let's get going. Mom's going to watch Bra while I'm gone, so everything's set."

"You've been drinking, Bulma."

"Oh, hush. I'm a pro at driving. And mimosas don't count. They barely have any alcohol in them at all."

"Did…you just make that up? Your last glass didn't even have any orange juice in it!"

Bulma rolled her eyes. "What, are  _you_ going to drive instead?"

* * *

_Easy does it. Just stay inside the lane. Don't make any sudden movements. Remember, the right pedal is the gas pedal. And the left is the stoppy-thing._

"Goku?"

_Or is it the other way around?_

"Goku, listen!" Bulma said slowly. "You're going to make a right at the stoplight ahead. After that, all you have to do is go straight and make another right into the parking garage. Got it?"

Goku clenched the steering wheel between his sweaty hands. It'd been years since he last drove. Chi-Chi forced him to get a license, even after he failed the exam ten times in a row. What his late wife didn't know is that the instructor was so frustrated with his incompetence she passed Goku just to get him out of her hair.  _That can't be legal, can it?_

Adding to his panic was the fact he was driving a car that cost over a hundred grand. Sure, Bulma went through luxury vehicles like used napkins. But if he ruined her precious Maserati, by Monday morning his name would be splashed all over the obituaries. "Okay. I think I can do this, Bulma!"

"Sweet, precious Goku. No one else has ever been my designated driv—oh  _fuck_!" Goku swerved the car into incoming traffic. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry! All those people on the sidewalk distracted me." Abruptly, he steered the car to the correct side of the road. "There's  _tons_  of them."

A long line of people wrapped around the city block they careened down. "Oh sweet!" Bulma cried, clapping her hands. "These are all the people attending the show this morning. I'm so pumped!"

"I didn't know so many people would be here." A thin stream of sweat trailed down Goku's brow.  _I'm almost there. Just don't get distracted and don't kill anyone—_

Bulma gasped. "Hey, I see Vegeta!"

Goku turned his head. "Where?" The car drifted outside the lane again.

"Goddammit Goku, watch the road!" Bulma lowered her sunglasses and jumped forward in the passenger seat. She whistled, long and low. "Wowza. His ass looks fantastic in those jeans!"

"No fair, I wanna see!"

"Goku, this is Driving 101. You can't get distracted while on the road!" She sighed. "Mm-mm! Sweet Jesus, I can't believe what I'm looking at right now."

" _You're_  the one distracting me!" Goku scanned the periphery. Walking alongside the long line of people were Marron, Android 18, Krillin, and—"Hey, I see him!"

"Just focus on parking, Goku."

Ignoring her, Goku pulled the car up to the curb. He smashed his fist into the car horn. Instead of a beep, the full first verse to R. Kelly's  _Ignition Remix_ blared from beneath the hood. Every single person in a hundred foot radius whipped their heads around to stare at him. "Geez Bulma, why couldn't you get a normal horn?"

"Hey, Son Goku!" Krillin jogged up to the car and leaned over through the driver's seat window. "I didn't know you drove!"

"I don't really. How's it goin'?" Goku squashed his urge to ignore Krillin completely so he could stare at Vegeta's backside.

"Not bad, not bad. We're just cutting everyone to head backstage." Krillin whistled and ran his finger along the dashboard. "Last time I saw this baby I didn't have a chance to admire it!"

"Don't think I forgot what you did to me!" Bulma shouted.

Krillin stuck his tongue out. "Sometimes rich girls should get knocked down a peg or two!"

Bulma flipped him off. "Bite me!"

Goku smiled. He'd forgotten how much Bulma and Krillin bickered like siblings. "Krillin, we gotta park. I'll see you in a second, okay?"

"Sure." Krillin blew a final raspberry at Bulma before turning his back on her. 18 and Marron followed him further up the street, but Vegeta lingered behind with his back still facing the car.

Goku leaned out the car window. "Hey, Vegeta."

As if taken by surprise, Vegeta glanced over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"I noticed you're wearing the sweater from our date a year ago."

The exaggerated look of shock on Vegeta's face made Goku laugh. Vegeta even tugged on the bottom of his sweater in confusion. "I am? I didn't even notice when I put it on this morning."

Goku lost his original train of thought.  _Did he wear that for me?_ "Heh. Um..."

"Was there something important you wanted to tell me? Or did you just want to comment on my clothing?"

Goku scrambled to think of something smart to say. "Did you sleep well last night?"

Vegeta nodded. "I did."

"That's good. Me too!" Goku wanted to slap himself. Why couldn't he think straight? In his heart of hearts all he wanted to do was put the car in neutral and follow Vegeta's receding, perfect ass until it disappeared into the studio building.

Finally, Vegeta turned around to face him. "Did you drive here in this fancy car to impress me?"

Goku sputtered. "N-no! I had to do it because Bulma was drinking, and I didn't want her to drive, and—"

Vegeta smirked. "That's a shame. I was hoping you wanted to show off for me. Now I'm disappointed."

Goku casually hung his left arm out the window. "Well…it  _is_ a hard car to maneuver." He blew away invisible dust on his fingernails. "I haven't driven in years, but I handled this thing like it was nothing." He patted the steering wheel a little too hard, setting off the car horn again. To make matters worse, this time around Bulma and all the people in line started dancing to the beat.

"You  _do_  look good in the driver's seat," Vegeta said in a half-yell over all the people singing along to R. Kelly.

"Really? Thanks." Goku scanned his eyes from the bottom of Vegeta's shoes to the top of his head. The sexy music fueled the inappropriate thoughts running through his mind. "You look good, too."

"Would you mind giving me a ride later, Kakarot?"

Goku blinked. "In the car?"

"No."

Bulma groaned, still bouncing her shoulders as if the music took possession of her body. "Oh my God, can you two stop flirting for  _two seconds_  so we can park already?"

"Sorry!" Goku was never good at showing off anyway. "I'll see you in a second, Vegeta!"

"Right."

Goku hit the gas. Minutes later they were securely parked in the underground garage across the street. "I'm glad we made it here alive," he said, wiping his wet forehead.

"You and me both." Bulma hopped out of the passenger seat. "Let's get moving!"

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Goku sat stuffed into a lumpy seat in the studio audience. Bulma sat to his right, while Yamcha, Master Roshi, Oolong, Gohan, and Videl were seated in the row behind them. Goku twisted around in his chair to poke Gohan's knee. "Where's the baby?"

"With Mr. Satan. I have no idea where Goten is, though."

"Probably with Trunks," Bulma said, rolling her eyes. "They might as well be joined at the hip at this point."

"I hope they make it. I barely got to speak with Goten at all last night," Goku said with a sigh.

"I'm more curious about how Piccolo's holding up all by his lonesome backstage." Yamcha rubbed his chin. "What if he doesn't show up at all?"

"He better come," Oolong muttered under his breath. "I didn't traipse all the way out here for my health. I need to see some Grade-A drama."

"Speaking of drama, I'm surprised you didn't stay with Puar." Yamcha slouched in his seat. "She's mad at me. Again."

Oolong smacked Yamcha's wrist. "Just lie and say that vampire dude is your boyfriend so she gets off your back!"

Goku frowned. "Are you talking about Yorick?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're talking about  _him_." Yamcha pointed to the opposite side of the audience. "He's sitting over there with Anya and Boris. If you can't tell, he's real high-maintenance. Do you know what he made me do last night?"

"I don't think I want to know," Goku said, returning his focus back to Bulma. He rubbed his dry hands together. If he blew hard enough, he could see his own breath. "Bulma, why is it so cold in here?"

"Because the cameras and lights heat up the stage."

Goku whined and settled on distracting himself with admiring the set. A fluffy couch sat in the middle, flanked by two larger chairs. The Announcer sat in the chair on the far right, surrounded by a crew of make-up artists and a woman holding a clipboard. "What's going on down there?" he whispered into Bulma's ear.

"They're prepping Blondie for the cameras. And the producer is probably going over what'll happen once the cameras start to roll."

"'Roll?'"

Bulma looked past Goku's shoulder. "Where's Krillin's family? And where's Vegeta?"

On cue, Krillin popped up at the end of the row with a sour look on his face. Vegeta pushed past him to steal the seat beside Goku. Android 18 steered Krillin's wobbly body down the row with both her hands planted on his shoulders.

"What's wrong with Krillin?" Bulma asked.

"He just spent the last half hour in the bathroom with a sick stomach. My guess? He ate too much this morning." She glared at the back of Krillin's head.

"Poor Dad," Marron muttered. They all took their seats. "I was worried we'd be stuck backstage forever."

All the bright lights and clamor around Goku was drowned out by the attentive smile Vegeta gave him. The Prince even lifted the armrest between them so he could press their sides together. "You seem happier than usual today," Goku said, returning the smile.

Vegeta responded with a soft kiss to his cheek. Goku wrapped his arm around him, enjoying his warmth in the frigid room. A group of women behind them whispered.

The lights dimmed. Bulma bounced in her seat. "It's starting!"

A blue spotlight shined on the left side of the stage to reveal a studio band Goku hadn't noticed before. The woman on drums began her set, flipping her braids around wildly. The pianist slid her hands across the keyboard. A grinning saxophone player danced beside the bassist and guitar player. Their music swelled and filled the room with energy.

Flashing spotlights swirled in circles across the audience. The Announcer stood up in his chair and beckoned all the lights toward him. Once they hit their mark, he rose his arms high into the sky. "Welcome to  _The Announcer Hour!"_

The audience whooped and cheered. Bulma whistled. Goku felt Vegeta flinch in reaction to the rising noise around them.

On stage the Announcer smiled, absorbing every ounce of positive energy being flung his way. "I'm excited for today's show. The topic is 'Unrequited Love.'"

"OoooOOOH!" replied the audience in collective fascination.

"Am I missing something?" Goku whispered into Vegeta's ear. "How does everyone know to say the same thing at the same time?"

"Hush, Kakarot."

The Announcer readjusted his sunglasses. "Lust." He pumped his fist into the air. "Longing." He threw his head back. "Love! Today we're going to explore all of these facets of the human experience with our guest Samantha!"

A short brown-haired woman waltzed onto stage. The crowd cheered, some even chanting her name. She waved at everyone with a cupped hand like a beauty pageant queen.

"Welcome, welcome." The Announcer shook Samantha's hand. "Please, take a seat." Once Samantha made herself comfortable on the couch, the Announcer sat down in the cushiony chair beside her. "So. Sam. May I call you Sam?"

"Of course!" she said, blushing.

"Aww!" yelled a man in the audience, "she's just so freakin' cute!"'

"Oh, stop it," Samantha said, waving the compliment away with her manicured hand.

"Sam. You were on the show with us back in January. To bring everyone else up to speed, Sam is in love with King Piccolo. But King Piccolo was defeated by Son Goku when he was a little boy."

Vegeta pinched Goku's cheek. "You always find a way break women's hearts," he whispered.

"Don't make fun of me, Veggie."

Sam clenched her fists. "If I ever meet Son Goku, I'll end his life for taking my love away from me!"

"Oh boy." Goku sunk in his chair.  _I have a feeling coming here was a bad idea._

"You would legitimately murder him, Sam?" the Announcer asked.

"Weeell," Sam drawled, curling her hair between her fingers, "I would at the very least say something mean to his face."

"That's perfectly understandable." The Announcer leaned forward to read the cue cards a woman held beside the camera operator. "Remind us, Sam. Aren't you married with children?"

"I  _was_  married. I filed for divorce last winter right after I left your show."

The audience hooted. Exclamations of, "You go girl!" and, "I hope you hit him up with that prenup!" filled the room.

Goku scratched his head.  _What the hell is going on?_

"That's incredible!" The Announcer laughed along with the crowd. "Now that your husband's out of the picture, can you tell us a little bit about  _why_  it is you're in love with Piccolo?"

Sam's cute demeanor disappeared. She ran her hands down her thighs. "He's just  _so_  fucking sexy." She paused. "Can I say 'fucking' on TV?"

"It's not a problem. The censors are going to bleep out all the good stuff anyway."

"Great." She sighed. "Piccolo is just so mother _fucking_ sexy. Ever since I was a teenager I had this fantasy about him ripping all my clothes off and shoving me onto a giant bed."

The Announcer pulled the handkerchief out of his front pocket and used it to sop up the sweat collecting on his neck. "Is that so?"

"Yeah." Her sultry voice echoed in the dead silence of the studio. "And once all my clothes are off, he takes his long nails and gently rubs my nipples with them."

"Oh my."

"And  _then_ ," she gasped, slowly inhaling so her breasts poked forward in her blouse, "he  _takes_  me."

"W-what do you mean by that?"

"He takes his long, purple tongue and licks it straight down my stomach, past my  _quivering_  belly button, and straight to my—"

"Mom! Dad!" Marron yelled. "I—I have something I need to tell you!"

"Quiet, Marron!" Krillin whispered, "Daddy's trying to listen to the lady's important story!"

18 snickered. "This is amazing."

"I would like it if the studio audience members didn't interrupt our guests during the segment." The Announcer dipped his handkerchief into the glass of ice water next to him, then dabbed his forehead. "Carry on, ma'am."

Sam smiled. "He takes that long purple tongue of his and— _ah!_ " She slid her hand between her thighs. "He tastes me over and over again until I  _scream!"_

Master Roshi yelped. "Does anyone have a tissue for my nosebleed?"

"Wow," Goku said, "she must really love Piccolo."

"And then," Sam said, panting, "just when I think I'm about to come, he flips me over onto my stomach and pulls me up on my knees." As pleasure washed over her, her eyes closed. "I feel his big, green—" She stopped herself again. "Am I allowed to say 'cock' on TV?"

"Absolutely."

She fell back into character. "He shoves his big, green cock into my tight pussy and fucks me doggy style until I can't even see straight!"

The audience exhaled. A full section of men and women in the front row fanned themselves. Goku looked over at Bulma and saw a crooked grin on her face.  _Everyone likes this kinda stuff? It's straight-up smut!_

"He rams me so hard I can't support my weight with my arms anymore, so I fall over. Then he grabs my hair," she said, pulling on her own locks for emphasis, "and tugs until I'm sitting upright again. All the while he's still fucking me."

Vegeta leaned over toward Goku. "You did that to me on our date. Remember?"

"Vegeta!"

"Oh my goodness. That's all very graphic," the Announcer said. "What else happens in this fantasy of yours?"

Sam licked her lips. "Once he comes inside of me, he decides it's time for dinner. So he puts all of his food on my back and I basically become his human TV dinner tray while he watches the Monday night news."

"Oh my God!" 18 covered her mouth to stifle a scream.

Laughter, groans, and murmurs filled the room. Still lost in her reverie, Sam ignored the audience's judgmental commotion. "This fantasy haunts me every night. It's all so tragic."

"Well, Sam, I've got some good news for you! Piccolo is backstage this very moment."

A tremor traveled up Sam's body. Her eyes opened. "He is?"

"Yes. And he's coming out right now!"

The audience screamed. The studio band revved up and played a sexy melody. Piccolo walked out from stage left with his arms crossed. Goku had never seen Piccolo's face such a lovely shade of violet. The alien sat down in the chair to Sam's left.

"Piccolo! How're ya!" The Announcer yelled.

Piccolo's mic echoed feedback throughout the stage. It sat nestled between the deep folds of his cape. "I'd be happier if I was somewhere else."

"That's great to hear!" The Announcer said. "Are you excited to finally meet Sam?"

"Absolutely not." Piccolo avoided her gaze. "Only a lunatic would spew trash out of her mouth on public television!"

"Oooooh," moaned the audience in disbelief.

"There! They did it again!" Goku said.

Sam turned pink. "Be still my beating heart. It really  _is_  you." She crawled across the couch toward Piccolo. "I've waited years for this moment to come true!"

Piccolo winced. "Don't touch me."

She extended her arm until her hand was only inches away from his knee. "Why not? I'm in love with you!"

He held his nose in the air. "This isn't love. This is—" he dismissed her with a quick motion of his hand, "a sickness. You don't even know me."

"But I want to  _get_  to know you!" She kowtowed before him. "Please love me, Piccolo-san!"

"She means well! Why won't you love her back?" screamed a woman in the audience.

Piccolo covered his face. "Goku! Won't you help me out down here?"

All the spotlights in the studio flew across the room to land on Goku. Hundreds of eyes bored into him. "What? Why me!"

"Son Goku is here?" Sam arched her back and hissed like a cat. "Why!"

"P-Piccolo and I are friends, lady!" Goku waved his hands in front of himself in defense. "Please don't hurt me!"

"Goku," Piccolo said, " _please_  explain to this woman why she's in the wrong."

"Um, err…"

Marron raised her hand in the air. "Objection!" The spotlights abandoned Goku and shined on her instead. Slowly, she rose from her seat. The lights cast a halo around her blonde head. "I have something I need to get off my chest!"

The Announcer sighed. "Go ahead, young lady. But please keep it relevant to the topic."

Marron chewed on her lip. She glanced down at her parents. "I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. I've kept it a secret for too long. But this woman's  _riveting_ story," she said, pointing at Sam, "made me realize I can't live this lie any longer!"

Vegeta laughed. "This is going to be  _good._ "

"I…" Marron inhaled. "I'm a _lesbian_!"

Everyone in the audience gasped. Krillin's jaw dropped. 18 grinned. Goku scratched his head. "A lesbian?"

"It means I like women." Marron inhaled and exhaled repeatedly. "I like breasts. And I love VAGINAS!" Her victorious hands raised into the air. "I want a girl I can fall in love with!"

Yamcha stood up from his seat. He clapped once. A few seconds passed. He clapped again. Several audience members stood and joined him. Soon enough the slow clap grew into a full round of applause. People whooped and hollered. Women whistled. The drummer on stage held up her hand in reverence. "Fuck yea, little girl! You tell 'em!"

"Wow," the Announcer said, "I believe Marron, Krillin's daughter, has just come out on national television!"

Krillin turned to his wife. "Did you know about this?"

18 shrugged. "Yeah. It's pretty obvious. I wanted her to tell us on her own, though."

Marron squished her cheeks between her hands. "I'm sorry!"

"Aw, there's no need to apologize." Krillin stood up and hugged her. "I'm just sorry you felt like you had to hide it for so long."

Marron cried. "I love you, Dad!"

"Awww!" the audience crooned.

"This is super weird," Goku laughed. Even though he didn't quite understand what was happening, he was caught up in the excitement of the crowd and found himself clapping too.

Vegeta nodded in approval. "Looks like the girl finally manned up."

"Uh,  _excuse me!_ " Piccolo screamed. Everyone quieted down. "I  _thought_  this was a show about  _me_?"

"Oh, yeah!" The Announcer laughed. "I'm not sure if what Marron said had anything to do with the subject at hand."

"Of course," Vegeta yelled, "I'm sure your guest's sexy story had nothing to do with it!"

"WhoooAAAH!" The audience laughed at Vegeta's comment.

"How did you make them do that, 'Geta?" Goku asked.

Piccolo stomped his foot with the fervor of a two-year-old. "Dammit, Goku, get down here now!" He pointed his claw at the couch.

"No way! I'm too shy!" Goku said in his defense.

"Excuse me? Mr. Announcer?" A short man stood up in the crowd. "If we're going off-topic, I would like to use this opportunity to make an announcement."

The Announcer readjusted his shades. "Who is that man? Put the lights on him!"

"It's Yorick!" Goku waved across the room. "Hi, Yorick!"

Yorick cleared his throat. "May I have a microphone, please?"

"Fine. It's going to be  _that_  kind of show today." The Announcer motioned toward a scraggly intern backstage. "Give the man a mic!"

The young boy fled from behind scenes up the flight of stairs into the audience. He tripped over his tennis shoes. Once he recovered, he handed a microphone off to Yorick.

"Thank you," Yorick said. "As I was saying, I would like to make an announcement." The spotlights circled around him. "Many of you may not be familiar with the state of Cortasia. It's a vast wasteland buried in snow thousands of miles away."

"Oh, so  _that's_  what it's called?" Goku said.

"Kakarot," Vegeta said, rubbing between his eyebrows, "aren't you an ambassador for them? Shouldn't you know that already?"

"I never asked!"

"Shut-up, Goku!" Yorick hissed. He collected himself again. "Cortasia may not be well known to most people. But it has been my home for a long time. In fact, it's home to a lot of people like me. If you haven't noticed, I'm a vampire."

The audience screamed. People in the two surrounding rows around Yorick hauled ass and climbed over their seats to evade him. One man fainted in his chair.

"See?  _This_  is why I'm speaking today!" Yorick growled.

"Man, get the fuck outta here with that noise!" a man cowering in the aisle yelled. "Ain't nobody tryin' to hear about fuckin' vampires biting bitches and shit!"

"Yeah, what he said!" agreed the girl beside him. "Fuck vampires!"

"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts…" Yorick rubbed his temples. "Vampires aren't that different from humans. Sure, we may bite you and turn you into one of us. And we feed on blood. And we're immortal.  _And_  we can be grumpy at times. But that doesn't mean we don't deserve to be treated equally!"

Yamcha stood up again and clapped.

"Sit down, Yamcha. Don't patronize me!"

Yamcha sat down. "Alrighty then."

"Ugh." Yorick stared up at the ceiling. "Son Goku helped people like me have a home again. In fact, his friend Anya is head of state." He pointed at Anya, who Goku noticed was one of the few people left in the section of seats around Yorick. "Anya used to be human, but she sacrificed her mortality to become a vampire. She and her husband represent how vampires and humans can get along."

"Awww?" The audience was slowly warming up to the speech.

"So please. The next time you see someone like me, remember that vampires are people too."

"Are you still gonna feed off of human blood?" yelled a man crouched in the walkway near Yorick.

"Well…" Yorick scratched his head. "Fine. We won't do it  _as often_."

The crowd cheered. The men and women cowering in the aisles kissed each other. Yorick rolled his eyes and flopped back down into his seat.

"Ah, excuse me." A tiny voice boomed through the microphone. Anya stood up. "I'm happy my friend Yorick was able to speak with you all today."

The Announcer rubbed his face. "Is this another public service announcement, ma'am?"

"Not quite." Anya squinted her eyes. "Oh. There's Goku and Vegeta." In her fluffy winter coat she looked as if she was being eaten alive by a furry beast. "I was hoping I'd have a chance to speak with you both after the show. But I think now is a good time to tell you this."

Goku and Vegeta glanced at each other. "What's going on, Kakarot?" Vegeta demanded.

"Goku," Anya continued, "for the past year Boris and I never forgot our promise to repay you for helping us." She smoothed the front of her coat. "As you know, now that we have replaced the tribunal, we have possession of the Monet painting you destroyed."

Goku cocked his head. "Yeah?"

"We also have ownership of the space that painting occupied in the gallery. After seeing Vegeta's wonderful work, I wanted to know if he'd like to replace the destroyed painting with one of his own?"

Goku gasped. He turned to Vegeta. "Sweetie, do you want your work in a national gallery?"

Going by the horrible expression on Vegeta's face, he was terrified. "You'd—you'd do that for me?"

Goku held his hand. "Is that a yes?"

"I suppose it is."

All of Goku's friends and family stood up and screamed. The audience followed their lead, bouncing up and down in their seats over something they didn't even understand.

"This is incredible!" The Announcer said. "If I heard correctly, Vegeta, who is now a prolific comic artist, will have his work hanging in one of the most prestigious galleries in the world!"

Marron leaned across her parents' laps to grab Vegeta's arm. "You did it! I can't believe it!"

"I didn't  _do_  anything! It's all Kakarot's fault!"

"Hehe." Goku took Vegeta's chin in his hand. "You're adorable when you're embarrassed."

Vegeta blushed and looked away. "Ugh."

Piccolo clawed at his head. "Are you people  _insane_?" His screech reverberated around the room. The front row plunged their fingers into their ear canals. "What does any of this have to do with the show!"

"I'm sorry, Piccolo." The Announcer settled back into his chair. "What were we talking about again?"

"This woman has a sick obsession with me, and I  _need_ Son Goku to come down here right _now_  and straighten her out!"

"Oh. Right!" The Announcer waved at Goku. "Hey Son. Can you come down here for a second?"

Goku groaned and dragged himself out of his chair. "Excuse me, sorry, thanks!" He bumped his ass into one man's face on accident. "Sorry!" An eternity later he finally reached the front of the set. When the lights flashed in his face he held up his arm. "Oh geez, it's bright down here."

Across the audience, men and women alike giggled. "What a cutie!" shrieked a girl in the front row.

"He  _is_  quite adorable," said the drummer on stage.

"Can we get a close-up on Goku's face?" The Announcer spun his finger in the air to motion one of the camera operators to move in closer. "Yes, there we go. That's perfect."

"So handsome," the pianist said. "And  _muscular."_

"Just look at him. He doesn't even know how good-looking he is," the drummer said. "Mm! Give me one night with that man and I'll turn his world upside-down!"

Goku gasped. "That's why women say all those weird things to me wherever I go!" The lights were too bright for him to see anyone in the audience, but he smiled toward the section Vegeta sat in. "They want to have  _sex_  with me!"

"No shit, Kakarot!"

"Can we hurry this along?" Piccolo said.

"Of course!" The Announcer waved his hand toward the couch. "Take a seat, Goku."

"Okay." Goku sat down next to Sam. A low hiss emitted from her throat. His natural reaction at hearing an animal threaten him was to shield himself with his arms.

"Piccolo." The Announcer stared at the alien from above the rim of his glasses. "How do you think Goku can help you figure out your relationship with Sam?"

"I'm not in a relationship with her at all!"

"Just give it a chance, Piccolo." Sam hiked her skirt up her thigh. "You won't regret it."

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Goku laughed. "I don't think you'll get him to like you that way."

"What the hell do you know!"

With all these people hanging onto his every word, Goku's mouth went dry. "I know what it's like to care about someone who may not like you back." Sam crossed her arms. At least she was pretending to listen to him now. "And I know what it's like to want someone to care for you in a specific way. But they keep resisting you."

"Is that so?" Sam spat.

"Yeah." Goku shifted on the couch. All the eyes on him made him feel like he was trapped under a microscope. "If you want him to like you, you probably shouldn't, um,  _force_  yourself on him. It may feel like the right thing to do because it's  _all_ you want to do. But that's not true. If he's interested and you give him space, he'll come around."

She lifted her nose in the air. "You don't understand. I've loved him years."

"Me too…"

She raised a brow. "Huh?"

The lights were going to blind him if he sat on stage for too long. "Eh, Vegeta? Could you come down here?"

The audience gossiped among themselves. A silhouette rose from the crowd. Goku squinted his eyes and held his hand over his brow to watch the figure lightly tread down the stairs toward the stage. "You better have a good reason for dragging me down here," Vegeta yelled. He ignored the Announcer's invitation to take a seat and took his natural spot beside Goku on the couch.

The drummer spun her sticks in her hand in excitement. "Whoa, little dude has rockin' hair!"

"Vegeta!" Goku took both of the Prince's hands into his own. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"You saw me just a few minutes ago. We were sitting next to each other, remember?"

"That's not what I meant." Goku scratched the back of his head for the umpteenth time today. His heart was going to beat out of his chest. "I wanna talk to you about something."

"Why now?"

"Uh, hello!" The Announcer interrupted the intimate moment with a loud snap of his fingers. "Can we get two mics on them, please?"

Goku continued to cradle Vegeta's hands. Two people from backstage fastened mics onto their shirts. Vegeta winced at having been touched by a stranger. "Vegeta. Did you know you're my best friend?"

"I did."

"And did you know I've been in love with you for years?"

" _Awwww_!" The crowd's affectionate coo rose to an annoying pitch.

Vegeta blushed. "I had my suspicions."

"Heh." Goku focused on the way Vegeta's hands sat perfectly still inside his shaking ones. "I remember the first time I saw you. Which to be fair, was a pretty horrible circumstance," he laughed. "But I knew something about you was special. It took me years to understand I loved you ever since we met!"

Vegeta stared down at their hands. "So what?"

"You always want to act so tough. But right now, in this moment, it doesn't matter anymore. Does it?"

Vegeta's blush worsened. "I don't know what you're going on about."

"I think you know  _exactly_  what I mean. Here we are, finally together, like this. And here I am, holding your hands in front of all of these people. You're not pushing me away anymore. And now you're looking at me, waiting for me to ask you already so we can get this over with…"

"Shut-up."

"Nah." Goku dropped Vegeta's hands. He dug around in his pocket. "I was gonna do this later, but now seems like as good a time as any."

"What are you doing, Kakarot?"

Goku pulled the small velvet ring box from his pocket. He popped it open. "Will you be my mate, Vegeta? Please?"

Once again, the audience gasped. Vegeta gaped down at the ring, mystified. "You found it."

"Yup! Well, Marron did."

"Good." Vegeta's face softened. "Yes."

"I—wait, really?!"

"Yes. Of course I'll be your mate."

Goku pumped his fist in the air. "Yes!"

The crowd hollered in joy. The Announcer rubbed his chin. "Ladies and gents, I believe Goku just asked Vegeta for his hand in…some sort of romantic ritual?"

"Yes! Yes!" 18 yelled from the crowd. "You did it, Goku!"

Goku hummed to himself while sliding the ring on Vegeta's finger. "I knew you would say yes this time!" He pulled Vegeta into his lap and leaned in for a kiss.

"Nu-uh." Vegeta shoved Goku away. "Not so fast."

"Uwaah?" Goku landed on his back on the couch. "What's wrong?"

Vegeta stood. "You always think you can one-up me, Kakarot. For all the years we've known each other, it's been like this. I refuse to let it happen again!"

The previously joyous crowd was caught between emotions. One young lady yelled, "I don't understand why they don't just kiss already! Why aren't they kissing?"

Vegeta clenched his fists at his sides. "You think you're the only man up here that has an important question to ask? How selfish!"

Goku laughed nervously. Vegeta's ki was raising. "What do you mean, 'Geta?"

"What I  _mean_  is that I've become used to this mud ball and its customs."

"Okay…?"

"And while I admire your newly found respect for Saiyan rituals, I know how important human traditions are to you as well."

Goku gulped.  _Why is Vegeta so mad at me?_

"So what I want to  _ask_ you," Vegeta said through gritted teeth, "is an important question  _too_."

"Sure, ask me anything!" Goku looked to his right. The Announcer was hiding behind his chair. Probably a smart move knowing his history with Vegeta.

"Kakarot!" Vegeta barked, "I want humans to look at your hand and know you belong to  _me!_ "

"My hand? What?"

"And when people ask you who I am, I want you to say—um—!"

Goku wanted to grab and shake him. "Yes? Yeees? What is it you want me to say?" Goku looked at the Announcer again to see if he understood what was happening. Going by the open-mouth smile on his face, he  _did!_  Just a few seconds ago the man was cowering in terror! "Vegeta, please tell me!"

The Prince looked away from the cameras. "Goddammit, Kakarot! What is it about you that makes it so hard for me to think straight?"

The audience collectively squealed. Goku groaned.  _Am I the only person left in the dark here?_

"I can't stand how happy you make me. So I won't any longer!" Vegeta fell to one knee at Goku's feet. He extended his hand and revealed his own ring box. "Kakarot, will you marry me?"

A gasp swept through the studio audience. Marron screeched. Android 18 stood up from her seat and pointed at Vegeta. "I knew it! I knew you were going to do that!" She snapped her fingers. "Called it!" She opened and closed her palm in Krillin's face. "Pay up!"

Goku clutched his scalp. "Vegeta!" The rapid beating of his heart hurt. A lot. "You seriously want to get married?"

Vegeta looked like he was in excruciating pain. "Yes!"

"You want  _me_  to be _your_  husband? And you'll be mine?"

"That's how it works. Or so I heard!"

Goku rubbed the moisture from his eyes. "Okay."

Vegeta swayed on his leg, legitimately shocked by the answer. "You'll do it?"

"Yes. Yes.  _Yes,_ Vegeta!"

Everyone in the audience stood up and screamed. Goku could barely still his hand while Vegeta slid the ring onto his finger. A quick look confirmed it to be the same golden band lost a year ago. "Did you add gems to it?" Goku asked.

"Yes. This morning."

Goku gasped. "Are they from the earrings Marron gave you a year ago?"

"Yes, Kakarot!"

"How did you—?"

"Hush already!" Vegeta stood and swept Goku into a kiss.

The Announcer smiled. "I can't believe it, ladies and gentlemen! Vegeta has just asked Goku to marry him! And Goku said 'Yes!'"

Goku picked Vegeta up and spun him around in a circle. "Yes, yes, yes!"

"Don't drop me!" Vegeta said, laughing.

Goku kissed him again before setting him back down on the couch. "I'm getting married!"

"Wahoo!" Yamcha and Bulma screamed while dancing in the audience.

Goku leapt onto the Announcer's couch and dug his feet into the cushions. "I'm getting married!" he screamed again at the top of his lungs.

"There's no need to ruin the set furniture!" The Announcer said.

Goku ignored him and jumped up and down. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world!" He looked down at Vegeta, who had the biggest shit-eating grin he'd ever seen in his life.

"You son of a bitch. You did it!" 18 screamed.

"Goku!" Krillin yelled, wiping a tear from his eye, "I get to be your best man this time, right?"

Goku fell down onto the couch. "Vegeta, let's get the hell out of here!"

"Right  _now_?"

" **FLYING NIMBUS**!" A great wind swept the whole studio. Seconds later, a yellow cloud burst through the glass window on the west side of the set. People screamed in excitement and fear. Goku grabbed onto Vegeta's arm and hopped onto the cloud. He held a sideways peace sign toward the Announcer. "Deuces!"

"Wait a second, Goku!" The Announcer jumped up so fast from his chair it crashed backwards onto the floor. "Don't you want to tell everyone more about this relationship? The last time I saw you two together I thought you were fighting to the death!" He waved his arms around with such zeal, it rivaled any inflatable tube man in every used car lot on the planet. "What's 'mating' mean? And when are you two getting married? Who's going to the wedding? I'm invited, right? We need  _details!_ "

"No time for that." He pointed his thumb at Vegeta, who precariously dangled off the side of the cloud. "I gotta take care of this guy right here."

"What do you mean by 'take care' of him?"

" _You_ know. I gotta go screw his brains out, pronto!"

"Eh?!"

"It doesn't get any better than this!" Goku pulled Vegeta to his side, then flew the cloud straight out the broken window. The audience waved goodbye, yelling encouragements in the whirl of all the excitement.

Marron clung to Krillin. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life!"

"Couldn't Goku have just transmitted out of here?" 18 asked.

"I guess everyone has to have their moment to show off," Krillin said, smiling down at Marron.

"'It doesn't get any better than this?' Weird." The Announcer straightened his tie, then readjusted his clip-on mic. "I  _swear_  I've heard him say that before!"

Sam sauntered up beside Piccolo with her arms crossed. "What the  _hell_  just happened?"

"Everyone's in love with those two punks," Piccolo said. "It's like no one else even matters."

"Right? How rude!" She tapped her foot. "You want to go grab some coffee and bitch about it?"

"Only if you promise not to touch me."

She laughed. "Deal."

* * *

Goten pressed his ear against the locked door outside the studio. "Aw, man. I told you we should've arrived sooner! We missed everything!"

Trunks shrugged. "It's our  _parents_ and their  _friends_ , dude. I'm sure whatever happened in there was boring."

"Ya, you're probably right." Goten grabbed his hand. "Wanna sneak into the barcade across the street?"

Trunks kissed his forehead. "I thought you'd never ask."


	21. Part Twenty-One is All Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all. Please make sure you read the author's note after this chapter.

Delirious joy. Vegeta concluded that was the best way to describe it.

Disconnected thoughts and sensations whizzed through his brain before fizzling away like a candle in the wind. Goku's hands were in his hair, on his face, then on his back. The words that spilled from his mate's mouth were nonsense, which Vegeta greedily stole from him with kisses.

 _My mate. Kakarot is now, and forever, Prince Vegeta's mate._ A painful longing overcame him. On Planet Vegeta there would have been a ceremony.

Wide, obsidian eyes stared back at him, paired with an innocent smile. Tendrils of Goku's warmth enveloped him. Their emotions were eternally intertwined now, too. Without uttering a single word, Goku told him everything would be okay. That endless worry was no longer his cross to bear. Vegeta surrendered for the first time in his life and believed him.

It was hot and cold at the same time. How high in the air were they flying?  _Where_  were they?

 _Shit. The tattoos._ As badly as he wanted to lose himself in all of the emotions and hormones, there was still the issue of the goddamn tattoos. "Kakarot?"

No response. He looked down and saw Goku's spiky head bob up and down in his lap.  _Oh._ "As much as I want you to give me a blow job hundreds of feet in the air, we have more important things to do."

"Mmnhg?"

"Take my dick out of your mouth before you speak to me."

Goku obliged. "Vege-tah," he said, wet lips still hovering over the cock in his hand, "I _need_  you."

"We have to turn around."

"Huh? Why's that?"

"We have to get to a tattoo parlor."

The rush of fear and adrenaline coursing through Vegeta's body shocked him. Their new emotional bond would take some getting used to. Before Goku spoke, Vegeta shook his head. "No, Kakarot. We  _have_  to do it."

Goku whipped out his legendary puppy dog eyes. "We can do it tomorrow!"

"No. It has to happen now. It's the official way of doing things."

"Let's have sex first?"

"Don't be a baby." Vegeta lifted Goku's head eye level. "We're going to spend the whole day having sex. You don't want this one thing hanging over your head the whole time. Right?"

Goku poked out his lower lip. "Right."

* * *

If Goku kept his eyes closed, it wouldn't be so bad.  _Right?_

West City housed a plethora of tattoo parlors. Vegeta wasted time gauging which would be the best place to patron. By the time he started to pitch a fit about Yelp reviews of this  _one_  place compared to the  _other_ , Goku threw his hands in the air and convinced him the nearest shop would best suit their needs.

Goku didn't know what the hell was wrong with his body. But there was an internal timer ticking away that warned him if they didn't hurry up and get back to his house, he was going to embarrass them both in public. He even suggested they rent a hotel room to save on time. Vegeta yelled at him about not being treated like a cheap whore and hurried them both into the tattoo shop around the corner.

Designs and illustrations covered each wall. A long mirror sat propped beside a tattoo chair. A small table holding napkins, boxes of gloves, and bandages sat against the wall. The sharp smell of witch hazel and ink stung his nose. He didn't want to know where the needles were hiding.

Thank gods Vegeta was prepared. He flipped open his tiny moleskin and showed the woman behind the counter two drawings. "I want this design on him. The other can go on me."

Two full sleeves of tattoos covered her bony arms, which flexed and slid across her skin like snakes. She laughed. "Does that guy actually want a tattoo? I can't just give him one because you want me to."

Vegeta gave Goku a dirty look. Goku caved. "Yeah, I want one."

"Are you sure, buddy?"

"Y-yes!"

"Because it sounds like your friend is pressuring you."

"I really do want one!"

"Alright. Where?"

Goku swallowed down the knot in his throat. "Vegeta, where should I get it?"

"You're in charge now, Kakarot. You get to make that decision for the both of us."

" _I'm_  in charge?"

"Yes, you're the dominant one!"

The tattoo artist smiled at Goku. "Is this some kind of kink you two have?"

Goku whined. "No, ma'am. Um, where does it hurt the least?"

"It hurts anywhere you get a tattoo." Her smile widened. "But I personally find the back of your shoulder, and even the back of your ear to hurt the least."

Goku noticed Vegeta's mouth twitch at the mention of getting a tattoo behind the ear. "I want the shoulder one!"

The process was a blur. He remembered lying down on his stomach and the cool touch of gauze on his back as the tattoo artist cleaned his skin. Vegeta sat on the opposite side of the tattoo chair running his thumb across Goku's brow. "You'll be fine," he said.

"What's this symbol anyway?" the artist asked.

A loud buzzing filled the room. Goku instinctively clenched his buttocks together. "Um, it's the crest of his royal family!"

"You're royalty?" she asked Vegeta. "What are you, a Saudi prince or something?"

Their conversation was drowned out by the buzzing of the needle.  _Sweet Kami, why does it have to be so loud?_ Goku gasped once he felt pressure on his back. "AH!"

"Shh." Vegeta gave him a quick peck. "I've hurt you worse than this in the past."

Goku screamed. The woman working on his back froze her hand. "Are you okay, dude?"

"He's  _fine!_  He's just acting like a child. Keep going!"

Goku bit down onto the cushion beneath his head. At least he didn't have to watch the needle poke into his skin.  _Okay, it doesn't hurt_ that  _much, but it's still scary! Vegeta has a lot of nerve judging me even though he's not the one in the chair…_ He prattled on and on in his mind until the buzzing eventually stopped. "Hey, what happened?" he asked.

"I'm done."

"Really? You just started!"

"It's a simple design. Wanna look in the mirror?"

Goku sat up. The tattoo artist held a mirror in front of his face; the reflection bounced off the long mirror behind him so he could see his own back. "Ooh, that looks pretty neat!"

"Great. Now hold still while I cover it. Don't take the bandage off for a few hours, okay? And make sure to shower later so you can wash it. But no soaking!"

Once she finished giving Goku instructions for dealing with the tattoo, he crossed his arms. "Ha! That was easy!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes and pulled off his sweater. "Whatever. Now it's my turn."

Goku switched places with Vegeta. The pain in his shoulder hurt as much as a sunburn. He'd manage. "Now I get to watch _you_ , Veggie."

"No you're not." Vegeta fell onto his stomach. "I need you to go to the store before I'm done."

"The store?" While a dull pain throbbed in his back, it hadn't distracted Goku from the other painful throbbing in his pants. "Whyyy?"

"I need you to go buy some condoms."

" _Condoms_? _"_ Goku could've sworn on a stack of bibles that Vegeta had grown two heads right before his eyes. When was the last time he even uttered the word "condom," let alone used one? Years ago when Chi-Chi was still alive, Yamcha had shoved a few in his back pocket during a party. The useless rubbers eventually got buried in a drawer somewhere in his house. "Why would I ever get _those_?"

"I'm not trying to get knocked up today."

The tattoo lady's nose wrinkled. She bit her lip to keep her laughter at bay. Goku didn't find  _anything_ funny about Vegeta's request. "Come on. I hate those things."

"With that attitude I'm surprised you don't have more children running around."

"They're unnatural. And I can't feel anything with them on!"

"Hah!" The tattoo artist shook her head. "The number of times I've heard a guy tell me  _that_  would make your head spin."

Vegeta gave Goku a look that'd turn anyone else into stone. "Goddammit, just go get them!"

Goku tilted his head. The feeling overwhelming him was…unusual. And invasive. Like it didn't belong to him. To Goku, the best way to describe it was a mixture of apprehension and shame. "Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked.

"Yes. Now go!"

* * *

Goku stared at the wall of boxes in front of him.  _Has the world changed this much since the last time I bothered with these?_ There were more brands, shapes, sizes, colors, and even  _flavors_  of condom than he could wrap his head around. Apparently people enjoyed using these pecker sweaters more than he imagined.

"May I help you with anything?" A drugstore attendant approached him with a cheery bounce in his step.

"Uh, yeah." Goku pointed at the shelves. "Which one should I get?"

The man smiled. "There are regular condoms  _here._ But if you want some that are lubricated, then you can buy these. You can even get lubricated ribbed ones, which will feel better for your partner."

Goku pointed at a box with large, gold lettering. "What are 'Magnums'?'"

"They're for men who are more endowed than average."

"What if," Goku said, spreading his hands apart, "I'm bigger  _sometimes_  but most of the time I'm normal?"

The attendant stepped away. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, right? Let's say sometimes I'm  _really big_ when I transform," he said, widening his hands. "But other times I'm just _normal_." He moved is hands closer together, hoping this guy understood.

"I don't— _what_?" The man took off his glasses to rub them clean on his work vest. "Sometimes your erection is big and sometimes it isn't?"

"It's not that it's  _small_ when it isn't big. It's a normal size. But when it gets big, it's  _really_ big."

"Yikes. Just—just take both of these." He shoved two packs of condoms into Goku's hands.

* * *

Luckily for Goku, the tattoo artist finished her work on Vegeta's back in record time. He rejected Vegeta's offer to pay for them both. Later he'd have to clarify with his mate what duties the "dominant" role entailed—he figured subsidizing the cost of permanently altering their bodies had to be one of them.

They ditched the nimbus cloud and flew back toward Goku's house at breakneck speed. The second they landed on the welcome mat, Goku broke the front door open and pitched Vegeta over his shoulder.

"Who are you, Fred Flintstone?" Vegeta grasped onto the back of Goku's t-shirt. "Maybe for good measure you should bash my head in with your club so I don't put up a struggle."

Goku sprinted through the living room. "I can't wait any longer, 'Geta!"

Vegeta struggled to speak through his own panting. "We have to shower first!"

"Nooo!" Goku smashed the bedroom door open. "Why?"

"To wash the tattoos." Vegeta wormed his way out of Goku's grasp. "I also want to be clean one last time before I spend the next week doing our laundry."

" _Fine!"_ Goku looped his fingers beneath the hem of Vegeta's jeans and ripped them clean off his body.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Kakarot!"

Before Vegeta could launch into a diatribe about ruining expensive denim, Goku dropped to the floor and bit down into his underwear. The cotton tore in between his teeth. "Take these off before I do!"

Vegeta planted his heel in Goku's shoulder. "Stop acting like an animal." An eternity passed while Vegeta slid off his sweater, carefully folded it to a quarter of its size, then placed it atop Goku's dresser. "Now go to the bathroom. Turn on the shower, then strip."

"Vegeta, you're impossible!" Goku shoved him out of his way as he marched to the bathroom. Vegeta threw him a small grin—surely to piss him off. "I thought you wanted to have sex  _too_!"

"You're acting like I took your favorite toy away," Vegeta yelled from the bedroom.

Goku muttered under his breath. After fumbling around with the faucet knobs, hot water shot out of the shower head to pool at the bottom of the tub. He stripped down and kicked the pile of clothes into the corner. "I'm naked, Vegeta!" He hopped into the tub. The warm stream of water soothed his nerves.

Memories of last night fought through the fog of horniness in his mind: showering at midnight had been a lonely luxury. Being by himself in his home for the first time in a year reminded him of the period after his wife passed. And when Goten went missing. And that long part of his life when he assumed Vegeta hated his guts.

Echoing hallways and empty rooms didn't suit him.

Warm hands grabbed him from behind. "I could hear you thinking from all the way in the other room."

"Ha-ha." Goku spun around and found himself lost in a sea of black hair. "Vegeta, it all grew back while I wasn't looking!"

Vegeta laughed. "Do I look the same as before? I like to think I'm different." He ran his finger down past Goku's chest until it dipped into his bellybutton. "But I'll keep my hair the same since you seem to love it so much."

Goku's fingers also had a mind of their own. Beneath the water they slipped against Vegeta's wet skin in a vain effort to gain purchase. New scars adorned the Prince's body. The muscles in his stomach were still firm. It took longer than Goku remembered to trace his thumb from Vegeta's right nipple to the left. And when did he become so ticklish at having his lower-left rib caressed like so?

And of course, there was the scent. It filled the shower. Goku didn't hesitate to sink his teeth into Vegeta's shoulder to release the taste into his mouth. "Why do you smell and taste so good," he sighed into body flush against him.

"I'm in heat." Vegeta pressed their faces together. Goku slid his tongue against the one in his mouth. Sharp teeth nibbled on his bottom lip. The sudden cool air against his mouth surprised him. He opened his eyes to find Vegeta gazing up at him in agony. "Kakarot,  _please_."

Goku hummed in delight. Vegeta was finally succumbing to the desperation overtaking them both. Slowly he rubbed their hips together, and watched the smaller man's eyes flutter shut from the sensation. "What do you want me from me?"

Vegeta grabbed his hand and slid it down the curve of his hip. Goku felt his fingers trail between Vegeta's thighs to the tight ring of muscle hidden there. The flesh quivered beneath his touch. "I want  _this_."

Goku slid his finger in a circle. "It'll hurt without something to help."

Vegeta shook his head in denial. To emphasize his need, he sucked hard on Goku's right nipple.

"Alright." Goku teased his hole. Vegeta purred, lifting his left foot onto the side of the bathtub. With the increased space, Goku pressed two of his fingers further in. The lack of resistance surprised him. When finally knuckle-deep, Vegeta clenched around his hand. "You okay?" he asked.

Vegeta hid his face in Goku's chest. Small beads of water from the steam rolled down his muscled neck. The black markings on his shoulder threw Goku off guard—there  _his_  name was, permanently inked onto someone else's flesh.  _Son_. Earlier he hadn't even asked to look at it. But in this moment, staring at it seemed like a sacrilege.

Vegeta chuckled. "You left me hanging here."

"Sorry." Goku laughed along with him. "I just realized we were mates."

Vegeta lifted his head. "Do you now understand why it was always a big deal to me?"

Goku slipped his fingers out. "I do."

"Fuck." Vegeta slid their hips together. "Don't stop what you were doing!"

"We need to wash the tattoos, right?" Goku tapped Vegeta's right thigh. "Can't do that with a finger up your butt."

Vegeta snorted. "Do you want to make me laugh, or do you want to make me come?" He grabbed the body wash on the shelf behind him. "Let's hurry."

* * *

Every bit of Vegeta's resolve had finally left him.

The shower knob squeaked as Goku twisted it clockwise. The thunderous roar of the water faded away. Vegeta's natural temperature was so high, standing naked while completely soaked didn't bother him at all. Goku carried him out of the tub and tossed him onto the edge of the bed.

He couldn't stop moaning. Not a single finger touched him yet, but he couldn't shut his mouth to save his life. The heat beneath his skin burned him up. No one told him it'd be like this. The bed shook from all his thrashing and writhing.

He felt his thighs spread apart. Goku pulled him further south down the bed. Warm hands slid under his ass. Goku spread him open and smiled. "You look beautiful down here." A hot, wet tongue pressed against his entrance.

 _How can Kakarot enjoy this so much?_  Having another man stare at, prod, and taste what he considered to be the dirtiest part of his body made him feel…vulnerable. And exposed. But here Goku was eating him out like it came second nature to him. No one before had ever made the Prince's body feel so pure and unpolluted.

The pressure growing between his legs nearly made him faint. Time escaped him. Thick fingers entered and curled inside of him. His muscles spasmed outside of his control. "Kakarot," he pleaded.

Goku removed his mouth. "I don't want this to hurt you like last time." His long arms reached across the bed to grab a bottle conveniently placed on the nightstand.

Vegeta collected his wits. "You have a romantic night all to yourself with that bottle of lube?"

"Hey!" Goku squirted the lubricant onto his hand. "You're not going to be cracking jokes in a few seconds!"

Vegeta spread his thighs wider. The cold liquid slathered between his legs was soon followed by a warm pressure pushing inside of him. He didn't want to speak up, but he  _had_  to.  _Right_? "Stop."

"But—"

"Put on a condom."

"Please baby," Goku groaned. "I promise I'll pull out. Let me do it like this for a while?"

Vegeta twisted the bedsheets between his fingers. "Fine. Yes!"

Goku pressed down on his hips. Vegeta was pinned to the bed like a butterfly. A dull pain collected around the dents Goku's calloused thumbs pressed into his skin. The intense gaze staring down at him was too much to handle. So Vegeta closed his eyes.

Goku's hot, thick length pumped in and out of him effortlessly. There wasn't a moment for him to adjust. Or catch his breath. All he  _could_  do was bask in the bliss of getting earnestly fucked by the man above him. A low-pitch scream broke the steady rhythm of their panting. Was that  _him_? Had he ever made that sound before in his life? For all the noise he was making, Vegeta was rewarded with a shower of whispered encouragements from his partner. Such as praise for how warm he felt. And how easily he took his cock. All the dirty talk coaxed Vegeta from his shell and convinced him to open his eyes.

Between his legs he saw Goku was ramming him. Hard. Their perfect angle allowed his prostate to get slammed with every thrust. A deep pleasure awakened within him; every time Goku buried himself to the hilt a tingle shot up his spine. "You feel amazing," he whispered. The sensation was too sublime for him to utter anything else. Unlike the last time Goku had him in this position, his hands lay limp above his head. His mate left him immobilized.

Goku kissed his forehead. "Mm, you're about to come, aren't you?"

Vegeta nodded. He didn't have to ask how Goku knew. He'd lost control over his spasming insides long ago. Small dots swirled in his vision. "So good," he moaned after another wet slap against his hole.

Goku tried to quell his panting with a series of gasps. "I forgot how great your face looks when you're on your back."

 _Hot. Too hot._ The tingling in Vegeta's spine traveled to the base of his neck. His whole face heated up. Goku's last few thrusts forced a mantra out of his mouth. "Yes. Yes!" He cried his affirmation until his voice went hoarse. Cum shot from his tip in thick, short spurts and coated his stomach.

Above him, Goku licked his lips. "Oooh, Vegeta!" He clenched his eyes shut. "I gotta stop."

"What?" Coming hadn't cut Vegeta's high short. He wrapped his legs around Goku's hips. "Keep fucking me!"

"Nu-uh." Goku slid out. "Hafta put a rubber on."

Vegeta released his vice grip and let his legs crash to the bed. "Hurry it up!"

Goku sorted through the mess of clothes on the floor. "Okay. Should I put on  _this_  kind? Or one of  _these_  in the golden wrapper?"

"This isn't rocket science!"

"Okay, okay! Give me a sec." Vegeta watched Goku rip open a square packet. The condom slid easily over his erection. Seconds later, Goku was spooning him from behind with a firm grip on his thigh. "Let's do it like this, yeah?" He lifted Vegeta's right leg into the air.

Vegeta grunted in agreement. Goku thrust into him in one long, smooth stroke. He arched his back. "Ahhn!"

"Ooh. That must've felt pretty good."

Vegeta clawed toward the front of the bed. The pillow he took captive ripped between his fingers. "Kakarot!"

Goku plunged into him again. "That feel okay?"

"Uuh!" Vegeta drowned his face in the sheets.

Goku's steady rhythm jostled the bed against the floor. "It's great getting fucked like this, isn't it?"

Vegeta threw his head back. Sticky precum dribbled onto his stomach and down his hip. "Fuck. Yes!"

Goku worked himself up into a full pant again. Whatever he was feeling robbed him of his chattiness. Strands of his hair lifted off his scalp from his rising ki. "Can I get rough with you?"

The words sounded like complete gibberish in Vegeta's muddled brain. It took him a few seconds to process what Goku meant. "Do it!"

A golden aura filled the room. Goku's change to Super Saiyan filled Vegeta with a burst of energy that snatched his breath away. He was shoved onto all fours, then repeatedly pounded into from behind. Goku laughed between his grunts. "Gods, your ass looks great!" The loud smacking of his backside hitting Goku's stomach spurred his mate to quicken his pace. "Ha, so tight—!"

The combination of Goku's ki and girth inside of him scrambled Vegeta's senses. His second orgasm was barely distinct from all the other sensations assaulting his body. The same moment his arms gave out, an explosion of warmth filled him. Goku moaned and rocked forward a few more times before collapsing onto his back. Pressed against his shoulder blade, Goku's heart raced to match Vegeta's slowing pulse.

Even with his eyes closed Vegeta felt the room spin around him. Goku stretched his arms and legs apart so he became a perfect glove on top of the Prince's sweaty body. "Goddamn, Kakarot." He sighed. The weight comforted him.

Lips grazed against his ear. "Be honest, 'Geta. After a year, am I still any good?"

Vegeta opened and closed his dry mouth. "You want a rating?"

"Sure."

"Nine out of ten."

" _Nine_  out of  _ten_?" Goku hissed. "That's like an A-minus!"

"I left room for improvement."

"That's not fair. You could barely speak a second ago.  _And_  you came twice in a row!"

Vegeta smiled. "Maybe next time you can do a few cartwheels and backflips before mounting me. Then I'll  _really_  be impressed."

"Oh man…"

As much as he wanted to humor Goku with pillow talk, the growing wetness between his thighs couldn't be ignored. His suspicions had to be confirmed. "Kakarot, take off the condom."

"Eh?"

"I  _said_  to take off the condom."

"Uuugh." Goku lifted himself off Vegeta's wet back. "Oops."

"' _Oops'_? What do you mean by 'oops'?'"

"Uhh." Goku swallowed the spit in his mouth. "I don't see it."

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"It's not on me anymore."

"You're telling me it  _disappeared_?"

"Hmm." Goku squeezed both of Vegeta's ass cheeks. "Maybe it's stuck in here?"

"You're kidding."

"Don't worry. I'll fish it out."

Vegeta clenched his ass. "You won't!"

"I gotta!" Goku spread his cheeks apart. The soreness from all of their activity literally bit him in the ass as Goku plunged his fingers inside his hole. "I feel somethin'. Aah, here it is."

Vegeta winced as the long piece of latex slid out of him. Goku's silence didn't bode well. He craned his neck around to see what the hell was happening behind him. Hanging between Goku's pinched fingers were the torn remains of the condom. Vegeta sighed and smashed his face back into the pillow. "Shit."

"I didn't mean to do it!"

"It's fine."

"I didn't know if I should've worn the  _other_  kind—"

"Kakarot. Stop."

"You know, you might not get pregnant—"

"I don't  _care_!"

Goku crawled backwards off the bed and chucked the condom in the trash. "I thought you didn't want to get pregnant right now?"

"That's what I said earlier."

The bed dipped again under Goku's weight. He returned to his prior position on top of Vegeta, but kept his chin propped in his palm. "Is there something I'm not getting here?" He rubbed small circles into Vegeta's shoulder.

"If I get pregnant sooner than later, it wouldn't be that big of a deal."

"Then why did you make me get condoms?"

Vegeta sighed. "All I'm saying is that if I got pregnant  _now_  I wouldn't be upset!"

"You always wanted to have a baby as soon as possible, didn't you?"

"No!"

"Hehe. Fine." Goku jumped off the bed. "I'm gettin' horny again. Let me put another condom on."

"Hold it." Vegeta rolled onto his back to watch Goku reach for another wrapper. "What's the point?"

"To  _not_  have a baby. Remember?"

"You already came in me. It's too late now!"

"Vegeta, we both know that doesn't make sense."

"I—oh, forget it!" Explaining things like this was always difficult for him. Why couldn't Goku just take the easy way out he was handing to him on a platter?

"Ve-ge-ta," Goku sang, "just tell me you want to have a baby right  _now_. Why is that so hard to admit?"

The Prince turned his attention to a speck on the wall. "I don't—ugh. I don't want to get my hopes up. Okay?"

Goku slid back onto the bed beside him. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen this time around." He pulled his knees to his chest. "I figured if we didn't try at all, this day would be a lot less stressful for me."

"Mm." Goku ruffled his hair. "You worry too much. Aren't I supposed to take care of you now?"

Vegeta let his head sink back down into the pillow. "Oh? Are you Mr. Dominant all of a sudden?"

Goku rubbed his chin. "Yeah! That means I'm the leader, right?"

"Sure, Kakarot." He'd never uttered such a thing in Goku's presence. But back on Planet Vegeta it was expected for someone in his position to always defer to the dominate mate. Spending the last hour happily getting fucked on his back must have made their new relationship roles apparent. "I'll do whatever you say," Vegeta conceded.

"Cool." Goku tapped the tip of Vegeta's nose. "Stop worrying."

"Just…stop?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine."

"Great. Now leave everything to me."

"Everything?"

"Every little thing."

"Okay."

* * *

"Listen to me, 18." Bulma Briefs picked at the Caprese salad in front of her. "Leave everything to me.  _I'll_ plan the wedding. It'll be easier that way!"

Bulma and Android 18 sat in a crowded restaurant down the street from the studio set. Further down the table Krillin bombarded their daughter with probing questions about her romantic life. 18 saw Marron wince and blush at suddenly having a spotlight shined on her. Part of 18 wanted to swoop in to play "mommy defender"— but it was high time the girl stood on her own two feet.

It was also time for Bulma to slow her roll. " _I'm_  going to organize their wedding," 18 said. "It makes the most sense." 18 sipped her iced tea. "That's likely what Vegeta wants."

Bulma reacted like 18 had slapped her across the face. "Excuse me? How would you know what Vegeta wants?"

"He and I are close friends now." 18 grinned. "Best friends, even."

Bulma stuttered. "Uh, I like to think I know him better than you do." Bulma pointed both her thumbs at her face. "You know who was with him for twenty years?  _This_  chick."

"How could I forget?"

"Then take my word. I can do the best job!"

18 didn't dislike Bulma  _per se_. They got along just fine. In contrast, when Chi-Chi was still alive she and Bulma were incredibly close. Which 18 never quite understood. Bulma was an heiress to a technological empire, and Chi-Chi was…the country girl that always worried too much.

18 also found it strange how different _she_  was compared to Bulma. If she wished, Bulma could live like a princess cooped up in Capsule Corp until the day she died. 18, on the other hand, was thrown into a world of violence with few choices at freedom. Luck favored her when she met Krillin.

Had Bulma been lucky when she met Vegeta? They helped each other immensely over the years. But she and the Prince made a perfect couple in same way two trains speeding toward each other would have the perfect collision. It looked beautiful when looking at it from far enough away.

"Helloo, Earth to 18!"

While she may be the biggest drama queen on the planet, Bulma  _did_  have more compassion than 18 could ever fathom. After all this time she still wanted to help Goku and the Prince of all Saiyans. That in itself deserved a modicum of respect.

So 18 gave in. "Fine."

"Fine?" Bulma sighed. "Fine  _what_?"

"You can  _help_  me plan the wedding."

Bulma threw her hands into the air. "Help!"

18 sucked on the end of her straw. The ice in her glass rattled together. "This is me being nice."

"Nice. Right." Bulma laughed and stabbed at a slice of mozzarella in her salad. "There's no end to your well of kindness!"

* * *

"I'll show  _you_  a fucking nine out of ten!"

Vegeta threw his head back into Goku's neck. Now  _when_  was the last time he had sex standing up? It wasn't with another man, that's for goddamn sure. The bastard held him up in the air backwards with his hands cradled under Vegeta's knees. For support, Vegeta leaned back and locked his arms behind Goku's neck. He bounced up and down as Goku screwed him from below. "Shitshit _shit_! Slow down!"

Goku's sweaty cheek pressed against his own. "Uh-uh. Gotta beat my score."

Vegeta flipped through the colorful library of swearwords in his mind. The word "fuck," much to his displeasure, lost all its allure the longer the day went on. He'd already screamed in pleasure at getting fucked. He'd pointed out Goku was amazing at fucking his fucking brains out. And for fuck's sake, how much longer could he take all this fucking without losing his  _fucking_  mind?"Fuck, Kakarot. You're driving me insane!"

Beneath him, Goku's hips pounded against his ass. At the end of every stroke, he tightened around his lover's length and milked the penetration for all it was worth. "Hah," Goku groaned, "that feels so good!"

Vegeta gasped. "Holy shit." The pleasure pooling in his abdomen made him feel heady. "Shit.  _Shit._  I'm going to come all over the carpet!"

Goku increased his speed. "That sounds great!"

"No, that sounds ba—oh, god _dammit_!"

* * *

Hours later, Goku gave in to his exhaustion and took a short trip to the bathroom. He splashed water from the faucet over his face. The unfamiliar sensation of metal rubbing against his cheek threw him off guard. He held his hands away from his face and caught the sparkling of his ring. "Vegeta," he called out, "we're really getting married?"

"If I live to see tomorrow, then yes!"

Goku leaned outside the bathroom door. His prince was currently facedown and spread-eagled on the bed. Completely still. "You okay?"

Vegeta twitched his right hand. "I'm fine."

Goku skipped back into the bedroom and plopped down next to Vegeta's face. "You look like you've been in battle."

"I have. With  _you_."

"Hehe." Goku looked out the window. Late afternoon clouds rolled across the sky and blanketed shade miles around his home. The cooler temperature blessed him with a moment to gather his thoughts. Everything about the day so far was too hot—his body, Vegeta's body,  _inside_  Vegeta's body, and even the inside of their house. Every iota of his being still wanted to rut like a senseless animal. But at least the cooler weather offered him respite and sanity of mind. He could now control his urges. "Hey, will this be the only time you go into heat?"

"No." Vegeta turned his head toward Goku. "It'll happen once a month."

"Once a month!" Goku sucked air in between his teeth. "It's going to be like  _this_  for a whole day twelve times a year?"

"Just when the moon is full. So once a night, once a month." He paused. "And every blue moon."

"Whew." Goku pushed Vegeta's limp body over to give himself more room on the bed. He leaned back against the headboard. "I love this, but I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you before this is all over."

Vegeta smirked. "Are you bowing out?"

Goku whistled low. "No way. I'm already starting to get hard again." He twiddled his thumbs in his lap. "Uh, since this happens once a month, does that mean the  _other_  thing happens too?"

"What 'other thing' are you referring to?"

"Are you going to bleed once a month?"

Vegeta raised his brow. "Absolutely not."

"How would I know!" Goku blew out a puff of air. Relieved. "I don't know how Saiyan bodies work when it comes to having babies. Especially since the way  _you'll_ get pregnant is different from what I'm used to."

"Leave the science to me."

"Sure." Goku felt heat rise to his cheeks. "Speaking of what I'm  _used_  to…" He swirled his index fingers around in circles. "Wanna switch out for a while? You look real tired."

"Are you serious?"

"Just because we're mates now doesn't change how I feel about sex." Goku laughed, jittery with nervous energy. "You know how much I like being on bottom.  _And_  it's been a year. I need it real bad."

Vegeta's eyes were so wide Goku noticed his pupils dilate. "You poor thing."

"So." Goku flipped Vegeta onto his back. "Is the offer to ride you still on the table?"

"Oh,  _yes_."

* * *

When the moon peeked out from behind the clouds wafting outside their bedroom window, Vegeta knew what was coming. The Saiyan blood coursing through both their veins awakened a primordial need to bash each other's skulls in at first sight of any moonlight. Being in heat only amplified the craving.

Yielding to his baser instincts was a guilty pleasure. He could never do this with Bulma. Goku made the first move. Strong arms wrapped around Vegeta's neck tight enough to restrict his windpipe. "Mind if I throw you around a bit?" Goku asked.

Vegeta struggled to laugh. Did Goku even grasp how strange of a request that was? "Sure. I'd love that."

His rival was faster than he remembered. In seconds they were on the floor tumbling in a mass of limbs. A lamp shattered. A stray foot kicked the wall hard enough to rattle the window. Goku's hair burst into golden light. He slammed Vegeta onto the floor. Cold blue eyes pinned him to the spot. "I won."

Vegeta snarled beneath his weight. "Don't get cocky because you've been fucking me in the ass all day." His own hair burst into bright, yellow light.

Pummeling Goku was a delight. It'd been ages since they'd sparred completely nude. Velvet skin slid and bruised against Vegeta's fists. Their fingers locked together; they fell into a dance where they slammed each other against the wall in turns. Dust from broken plaster settled on Vegeta's shoulders. Containing their movement in such a small space was a welcome challenge. Outside, Goku would have sent him careening into a rock face. But trapped in their bedroom, Goku had to twist his arms behind his back and knee the base of his spine to subdue him. The delirious joy written across the taller Saiyan's face made the pain all the more worth it.

Goku caught Vegeta off guard and released him. He pulled their mouths together into a sloppy kiss. Vegeta sighed into it, happy to have such tenderness wrapped up in the agony.

The instant Goku flipped their positions, he knew he'd made a mistake. Goku punched him clean across the jaw, sending him flying across the room into the bed. The wooden frame splintered beneath his impact.

"Oh, shit!" Goku rushed to his side. "Are you okay?"

"Do you think I'm made of glass?" Vegeta rubbed the bruise on his chin. "I can take a punch."

"Looks like our bed wasn't as lucky." Goku scratched the back of his head. "Sorry. I got carried away. Good thing I didn't send you straight through the wall, eh?"

Vegeta stared up from the floor. The moonlight spilling around Goku's muscular silhouette made him resemble a bronze statue. He wetted his lips. "Do me."

"Right now? But what about—"

"Kakarot." To emphasize his need, he pulled up his knees and presented himself. "Don't keep me waiting."

Goku growled and dived on top of him.

* * *

_Bzzzt._

The room was now pitch dark. Vegeta's hand roamed around the bed for his phone. It continued to vibrate beneath his pillow. His shaking hands found it. "What?"

"Vegeta?" Piccolo asked over the line. "Good. You finally decided to pick up."

Goku lifted his head up from between Vegeta's legs. "Tell him I said 'hi,' will ya?"

Vegeta shoved Goku back down into his crotch. "What's wrong, Piccolo?"

"What the hell have you two been up to all day? You left without any explanation!"

"We're at home."

"That doesn't answer my question. I  _know_  where you are. I've noticed Goku's energy level spike for hours, but I barely sense yours at all. What are you two  _doing_ over there?"

"We've been busy. That's all you need to know."

Piccolo breathed into the phone. "Whatever. I've been holding onto your stupid duffle bag all day long. I just want to get rid of it. And what's with the stupid picture in one of the pockets?"

"You went through my belongings?"

"Bulma did after the show. Then she went on a long rant about wanting to take a 'real' version of the photo. You owe me twenty minutes of my life back."

Vegeta arched his hips up from the bed. "That's great and all, but I'm busy—"

"Can I dump this crap over there right now?"

Goku's tongue swirled around the head of Vegeta's cock. "Yes!" he gasped. "I—I mean no!"

"Then  _when_  can I come over?"

"Hey Vegeta, look at me!" Goku flicked Vegeta's dick against the side of his face. "You think if I hit myself hard enough with this thing, I'll get hurt?"

Vegeta's mouth fell open. "I'm not sure."

"You're not sure? Why not?" Piccolo asked.

Vegeta shut Goku up by shoving himself back in his gaping mouth. "We're going to be busy screwing for the rest of the night. So how does two o'clock tomorrow sound? That good enough of an answer for you?"

Piccolo fell silent for longer than Vegeta cared for. "That works." He hung up.

Vegeta flung his phone onto the nightstand. "Kakarot, you're terrible."

"I know. But isn't this the best blow job you've ever received?"

* * *

A rare moment of sobriety broke Vegeta's heat. He pulled himself into the fetal position beside Goku. Goku marveled at how his long spiky hair draped across the pillow beneath them. How could hair that looked so sharp feel like lamb's wool between his fingers? He slid his hand down from Vegeta's scalp to his cheek. "I hope you're not too tired, sweetie. The night's not over yet."

"Why do you call me that?"

Goku leaned over to catch one of Vegeta's narrow eyes looking back at him. "Call you what?"

"'Sweetie.'"

"Do you want me to stop calling you that?"

"No."

Goku kissed his shoulder. "I dunno. It felt right the first time I said it."

Vegeta made a strange grumbly noise that reverberated deep in his chest. "Do you need me to call you something…cute as well?"

"I never thought about it until now." Goku hugged him between his arms. "I think 'Kakarot' is good enough for me."

Vegeta's foot traveled up Goku's calf muscle. The sensation tickled until he pinched Goku's skin between his toes. "Ow! What'd you do that for?"

Vegeta ignored him. "I thought about you often during the past year." His voice lowered. "I worried a lot, too. There were times when I wondered if my…little… _carrot cake_  had gotten hurt."

Goku gasped. "Vegeta!"

"What? Why are you yelling?"

"I love you!"

* * *

In the middle of the night, Vegeta's phone buzzed again. He was on the brink of exhaustion, but at least Goku was currently taking the "brunt" of their effort. Vegeta tugged on the back of his mate's sweat-drenched hair and continued to thrust into him. "Answer my phone."

Goku moaned. "Mm, I don't wanna stop!"

"No one said anything about stopping. Grab it off the nightstand."

Goku scrambled to get the phone between his fingers. "It's a text from your son!"

"Nng. What does he want?"

"H-he said—uuugh, gods!"

"Stop speaking gibberish."

"He and Goten are headed over!"

"Right now? Text him back and tell him to stay away."

"But that's rude!" Goku struggled to keep the phone in his hand as he continued to rock against the bed on all fours. "I'll tell them to come back for luuunch tomorrow and— _oh Vegeta_!"

"Give me the phone. You're falling apart!"

* * *

" _This is Tastee D bringing you your scheduled dosage of mellow tunes early in the morning. You may be up at the crack of dawn, but you've got me for company. I want everyone feeling as good as I do right now. Here's a throwback to July of 1969. George Harrison penned this song while playing hooky at Eric Clapton's house. Supposedly the winter in London that year was the coldest it'd been in forever…_ "

The radio alarm jolted Goku awake. Pale sunlight splashed off his windowsill and bled onto the carpet. A slow arc of light crawled up the edge of the bed. Through his grogginess, realization washed over him. He shook Vegeta's shoulder. "Wake up and look outside!"

Vegeta cracked open an eye. "Turn that noise off."

"We made it. It's morning!" The radio's music filled the air. Goku watched the sun unveil patches of the room. Broken wood surrounded the base of the bed. The tattered remains of Vegeta's blue jeans laid in a pile near the bathroom. Both their pairs of shoes sat neatly next to each other beside the bedroom door.

In the chaos of their lovemaking, Vegeta had decided to arrange their shoes in a row?

Goku wasn't sure why this pleased him more than anything else. "Vegeta. Don't you know this song?"

"Everyone knows this song."

Using his thumb, Goku ghosted a path across Vegeta's glowing cheek. "Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting…"

"You don't know how to sing."

"Little darling," Goku sang louder, his own laughter breaking through, "it seems like years since it's been clear."

Vegeta covered the hand on his face with his own. He smiled.

"Here comes the sun, doo n' doo doo—"

"Kakarot."

"Here comes the sun, and I say…it's all right."

* * *

The End

* * *

 


	22. Why There's No Epilogue

I can't believe it. It's all over. We made it!

Firstly, I have to thank every single one of you who left reviews on this story. Every person that picked my brain, questioned the direction of the plot, and even made me laugh brightened my day. I owe you all my deepest gratitude. You all rock.

I also have to thank every person that followed this story. Whether you've been waiting for me to get off my ass since 2012, or you just started reading this yesterday, I want you to know I think you're rad!

Did you all have fun? I certainly did.

You could say I had too much fun. Because there's going to be another sequel. Months ago I had the cutest epilogue planned out. But the closer I got to completing this fic, the more I realized this storyline isn't over just yet. There are obviously a lot of unanswered questions.

I already have an outline ready. Man, if you guys only  _knew_  what tomfoolery is about to go down…

The first chapter will be posted by November 22nd. Just check my account by then and you'll be greeted with a brand spanking new story:  _Vegeta Loves Kakarot_.

See you all soon, and be excellent to each other!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Everybody Loves Yorick!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080469) by [sendgays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendgays/pseuds/sendgays)




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